"Good-bye, girls. Have a nice evening." I waved good-bye to my guests as the Host Club wrapped up for the day. As the doors shut on the last girl, I was running around like a madman, tidying up with way more enthusiasm than my normal begrudging attitude.
"Ah, Boushi, good to see you're finally starting to get into the Host Club!" Tamaki noted.
"Nah, I'm just ready to start learning to kick butt. And if you're not sticking around to teach me," I added, glaring at the twins, "you can leave. Now."
Kyoya, indifferent, was already halfway out the door. "Good luck," he said, a hint of amusement in his voice.
Hikaru and Kaoru stuck their tongues out at me. "Fine. Good luck," they said mischievously as they left. It was a bit disconcerting, the way everyone was wishing me good luck like that, like they knew something I didn't.
"All right, Hunny-sempai, what first?" I asked when it was just me and my three upperclassmen.
"Well, first, during your lessons, it's Hunny-sensei. Got that?" Hunny asked me seriously.
"Uh, sure…Sensei." It was hard to call Hunny "Sensei" with a straight face while he was holding a stuffed rabbit and had icing smeared on his nose.
"Good. First things first, you need to learn the basic stances," he said, setting Bun-Bun on a nearby chair.
"Stances?" I questioned.
"Mm-hmm. Front stance, back stance, sitting stance," he listed, demonstrating each one as he went. "There are more, depending on the specific martial art, but we'll just cover the basics for now."
"Okay. Question. I'm supposed to be learning how to beat up monsters, not spar. While I'm busy getting into whatever stance, couldn't a demon just come up and eat me or something? Can we just skip straight to punches and kicks and stuff?"
"Have you ever tried using an outside crescent kick while just standing around like you are now?" Hunny asked, giggling. "You'd fall right over, silly."
I'd never even heard of an outside crescent kick, but I guessed that was probably beside the point. Shrugging, I said, "Okay, well, you're the sensei. Let's do this."
A look that was way too maniacal for someone so cute entered Hunny's eyes, and Tamaki plopped himself onto a couch, looking like someone getting ready to watch something incredibly amusing. I gulped, wondering, for about the millionth time since joining the Host Club – what have I gotten myself into?
…
Half an hour into my first lesson, I already wanted to break a sweat, and hadn't even been allowed to do anything. Hunny taught me the names of the three basic stances I'd be learning, how you distributed your weight in each stance, and the proper positioning of your arms. Once Hunny had drilled me until I could recite all that backwards, he told me I could try a front stance. I lunged forward and put my arms up in what was apparently called an inner forearm block.
"Wrong!" Hunny exclaimed, and proceeded to push me over.
"Hey! What gives?" I protested, righting myself.
"Your balance was way off, first of all. I could shove you right over."
I wanted to make a crack about how I wasn't expecting it, but I held my tongue. Hunny could probably give me ten minutes warning and still kill me with his pinky finger…with both hands tied behind his back.
"Next time, don't put your front leg so far out, and bend your back leg a little more. Secondly, you had your fingers tucked all wrong. Punch something like that, and you're gonna break your thumb."
I nodded, adjusting my fingers. "Okay. Let's try again."
And so that's how we spent the next half hour, me being repeatedly pushed over by a midget until I could effectively keep my balance and not fall over. I wouldn't have minded so much if that blond dolt hadn't been off to the side chortling to himself. Finally, when I had withstood enough pushing, Hunny let me have a five minute break, so I dashed to the bathroom. Unlike Hunny, I wasn't going to spend my time off eating candy.
Heading straight for the sink, I splashed water on my face to cool myself off. I took off my jacket and tie, which I probably should've done before starting my lesson; I sweat like I pig. Running a hand through my messier-than-usual red hair, I took a moment to catch my breath before going back to Music Room 3. Before I had the chance, the door opened and Tamaki walked in. Instinctively, I blushed.
"S-sempai! What are you doing in here?"
Tamaki raised an eyebrow. "Well, this is the men's room."
"Oh. Right." I hadn't even noticed which bathroom I had entered. Force of habit, I guess.
I was about to leave when Tamaki said, "Hey, sorry about laughing at you before. Hunny put us all through the same rigorous training when we first started, so it's funny to watch someone new do it."
"Eh, whatever," I said casually, even though it was completely humiliating. Trying to switch the focus off of me, I added, "I can imagine it was pretty funny when it was Kyoya's turn." Cool, calm Kyoya, being shoved over by someone half as tall as him. It sounded pretty hilarious to me, but a distant look crossed Tamaki's face and he shuddered.
"It scarred us all for life…" he whimpered, remembering something I probably didn't want to know.
"Well, uh, okay then. I should probably get back to Hunny," I said, leaving Tamaki alone with his apparently horrible memories.
After working on blocks for what seemed like forever, Hunny pronounced our first lesson over.
"Practice your stances at home. We'll have another session next week," Hunny instructed me. "Tama-chan, she's all yours!" Tamaki, who was lounging on the couch again (at least this time he kept his laughter to himself), got up, stretched, and walked over.
"All right, well, there's not much I can necessarily teach you. It's all about concentration. For example," he started, cocking his head to the side thoughtfully. "If I wanted to…set something on fire, I can't just say some magic words, and poof, there's fire. I have to really concentrate hard on what I'm trying to do. I would visualize it, and concentrate with everything I have on setting that object on fire."
"But wait," I interjected, "that first night, when I joined the Host Club, you did say magic words, didn't you?"
"Yes, well, I don't have to, but didn't it make me seem so much cooler?" Tamaki concentrated himself up some sparkles and struck a supermodel pose.
"Actually, admitting that just made you seem way less cool, but whatever," I said with a little shrug, ignoring the raincloud of depression my words summoned to replace Tamaki's sparkles. "So, just visualize and concentrate, huh?"
I looked around the room for a target, and settled on a nearby chair. I took a deep breath and tried to block out everything but the chair, imagining it sliding across the room, focusing everything I had on that one task. It took a few moments, but slowly, shakily, the chair moved a few inches to the right.
"It worked!" I exclaimed excitedly, before hobbling over and collapsing into the chair I had moved; now I was mentally exhausted in addition to already being physically exhausted.
"Good job!" Tamaki congratulated me. "Keep practicing, it'll get easier with time. Like I said, there's not much I can actually teach you, so you're pretty much on your own." He looked at the grandfather clock and added, "It's getting late, we should head home now."
"You go on, I'm just gonna rest for a little bit. See you guys tomorrow," I said, waving at Tamaki, Hunny, and Mori (He didn't actually do anything today, but I guess he and Hunny were joined at the hip) with one hand, wiping my brow with the other.
I might've actually fallen asleep in that chair for a little while; it somehow managed to be more comfortable than pretty much all the furniture in my apartment.
As I rode my bike home, I was happily thinking how lucky I was nothing had killed me in my sleep. Well, either I jinxed myself or had used up all my good luck for the day, because when I glanced up to see what had suddenly cast that huge shadow on me, I saw an impossibly giant bird, talons outstretched, descending upon me with a fearsome screech.
A/N: You wouldn't know it by looking at me, but I'm actually a black belt in Tae Kwon Do, albeit a very out of practice one. Actually knowing what I was talking about really came in handy when I was writing this chapter. It's good to know all the money and years of training paid off. ^^' Anyway, see that little link down there that says "write a review"? Click on it and let me know what you think so far! I'd be much obliged!
