A/N: Here's the next to the last chapter! I never thought this story would end up this big, actually. In popularity or in chapters… I guess strange things happen x) So, just enjoy, please.
Oh, and I thought I'd have problems with this chapter x.O No such thing. I just sat own in front of the computer and typed it all in one breath. I feel satisfied /which is kind of a rare thing for me… o.O/
The song's I'd Do Anything – Simple Plan /There, happy? xD/ Jesse POV
Choices and Decisions
Another day is going by
I'm thinking about you all the time
But you're out there
And I'm here waiting
My heart speeds up suddenly and I can practically feel it banging inside my chest, like a caged animal trying to find its way to freedom, to happiness.
My breath dies in my throat and I'm afraid I'd get quite dizzy if I don't get a little air in my lungs during the next few seconds.
I'm not moving. It's not that I'm paying any attention to what's around me, I just know that I'm not.
Because if I was I would be moving closer to your voice, to your figure that, I know, stands just a few paces in front of me.
Yet I can't reach for you again. I wouldn't dare after what I already did.
Besides, I'm not here to reach you, to be by your side...
Well, in a way, maybe I am, but...
I want to hear you out more than that. I'm afraid, of what you might say, but I'm willing to listen. Just this once I'll try to make it a little easier.
And I wrote this letter in my head
Cuz so many things were left unsaid
But now you're gone
And I can't think straight
I thought about our meeting a lot last night. I repeated many different scenarios of what might happen...
But I seem to have forgotten all of them.
I thought a lot about how to approach you, about what to say...
But I've forgotten that, too.
Oh, how I hate improvising in such situations... There's the biggest possibility to mess everything up like this.
Oh, I hope I won't mess things up even more...
This could be the one last chance
To make you understand
"I... I'm listening," My voice sounds somehow distant to my own ears. It's strange, in a way it seams like someone else said that.
But not saying it was the hardest part. I can't just stare at the ground while you're talking and I know that looking at you would be crucial...
But somehow I'm not sure weather I want to look up. I'm hesitating again, I know, I just...
I don't know what your face would look like. I don't know if I'd be able to cope with all that might be written on it.
But I have to.
Somehow I manage to get a deep breath in, as I move my eyes sharply up at your face.
A second... no, it wasn't even a second after I locked my gaze with yours that I felt...
Relief?
I'd do anything
Just to hold you in my arms
To try to make you laugh
Cuz somehow I can't put you in the past
I'd do anything
Just to fall asleep with you
Will you remember me?
Cuz I know
I won't forget you
Your eyes are just like before. The look hasn't changed. That kind, soft, caring, loving gaze of yours is still the same.
Sure, there's slight confusion and a little bit of hesitance in there, too, but it's overall the same.
The same deep chocolate eyes I saw wherever I turned.
So... you haven't given up, then?
"You chased me back then... to tell me something?" That question sounded more hopeful than I had intended it to be and I can feel a little bit better when you nod lightly. "Go ahead, then. I'm here to hear you out."
I'm not so sure I want to rush things like this. Maybe I shouldn't have done it, but...
Together we broke all the rules
Dreaming of dropping out of school
And leave this place
To never come back
Looking back at everything we've been trough together... As much of a short while as it was, my stay at Duel Academy had been the best time of my life.
And it would have never been the same without you. You know that.
And everything we went trough at that other dimension... It served only to strengthen this bond, didn't it?
All of it made us closer, more concerned for each other...
It made us realize it all. It made us see those feelings that were hidden under the mask of friendship and discover just how much deeper things could be if we did something more.
It all went so well back there...
It would have been perfect if it wasn't for Yubel.
So now maybe after all these years
If you miss me have no fear
I'll be here
I'll be waiting
"I'm not even sure how to say this," I blink once when you avert your gaze to the side, but not before I spot that uncertainty and hesitation in your eyes.
Maybe it was wrong to think only about myself. I should have tried to put myself in your shoes.
Maybe that way I would have seen how hard it had been for you all this time...
"You've heard about the Supreme King, right?" You turn your gaze back to look for any reaction and I quickly nod.
Of course I've heard. I was told everything about what you all went trough for me. And in a way I still can't believe you did all of that...
"Well, the truth is that he's not really who everyone thinks he is. He's not a part of me... Well, in a way he is, but..."
You're nervous and it's quite obvious from the way you're talking. You looked away again...
"Then who is he?" There I go again... I can't help but be a little curious, though. Though I thought Yubel was the only one standing between us... If this Supreme King's got something to do with it, too, things might get too complicated...
"He is, –was- a human a long time ago... In a different world or dimension, I'm not too sure. But he was alive. And I'm his reincarnation."
This could be the one last chance to make you understand
And I just can't let you leave me once again
Now it's getting confusing. Reincarnation? Different world or dimension?
How does that have to do anything with the here and now?
"Back then Yubel," I can't help but visibly flinch at the mention of the name. I knew it'd come to this point at one time or another...
I can feel my palms sweating and my heart beating harder again... I wish I could ask all of those questions that are raging in my head... What will you say? What do you feel for her?
Did you chose her before me? Did you?
"She was also alive and was his... uh... guardian, that's the word. And she did something... She went trough some operation that turned her into what she is right now."
You pause for a second and give me a little while to think trough this. Yubel being alive? Together with the Supreme King... Guarding him?
How does that fit in your story, Jaden?
"The Supreme King tried to express his gratitude the only way he saw fit back then. He..." You finally turn to face me again and we lock stares, "promised her his love."
I'd do anything
Just to hold you in my arms
To try to make you laugh
Cuz somehow I can't put you in the past
I'd do anything
Just to fall asleep with you
Will you remember me?
Cuz I know
I won't forget you
My eyes widen in surprise and disbelief.
Did you just say that!? He promised his love to Yubel? Is that it? Is that all?
"I need you to understand, Jesse."
Need me to understand...?
"Sure, I'm not him entirely, but in a way he's a part of me and... I can't break that promise."
I must have a really stupid expression on my face right now. I'm speechless, dumbstruck, mute and every other synonym you can come up with.
It was a promise? And even not a promise you made?
So then... You didn't really have a choice? You didn't really chose her over me?
None of this... none of this was due to your decision...
I close my eyes
And all I see is you
I close my eyes
I try to sleep
I can't forget you
And I'd do anything for you
I can feel a small smile to spread over my lips as I keep our gazes locked.
I can see your impatience in your eyes. Your fear.
It was the same for you, then? You feared my reaction as much as I feared your words...
But I guess you were the braver one, Jay. It took you just a couple of seconds to dash after me and it took me over a day to face before you.
"How could I be such an idiot?"
I shake my head lightly. I still can't really believe it. You said that, you really did!
"Jess?"
"I thought..." It's my turn to turn my eyes away, knowing I have to face everything now. "I thought you chose Yubel over me... I thought you loved her more..."
I can hear what seams like a quiet gasp from you, but I still don't dare to look at you again.
"I'm sorry." I feel like the biggest fool now. What would you think of me after this...?
I'd do anything
Just to hold you in my arms
To try to make you laugh
Cuz somehow I can't put you in the past
I'd do anything
Just to fall asleep with you
Your sudden movement snaps me out of my trance and I look up just in time to see you in front of me.
Wait, wha-
I can't even speak. I can't even move. My entire body's frozen for a second while my brain tries to process all of this.
And when it finally does, I realize it.
You're kissing me.
Your soft lips are on top of mine and it feels just like the first time. Within seconds I'm completely swallowed up by the moment and I kiss you back.
It's like electricity running up and down my entire body. Like something is tearing us away from reality and sending us to a place and time where no one else exists. Where no one else can stand between us.
It's a world so illusionary, yet so real. So true, yet so fake.
So sweet yet so bitter.
And it's like eternity passed again and again, before we pulled away. I find myself staring into your chocolate orbs and nothing else matters. Only your hands wrapped around me and your soft words, barely above a whisper:
"I'd never chose anyone before you."
I'd do anything
To fall asleep with you
I'd do anything
There's nothing I won't do
I'd do anything
To fall asleep with you
I'd do anything
Cuz I know
I won't forget you
