I lay in bed and hugged my quilt close to my body.
I couldn't get those images from my mind.
The cuts on that little boys wrists were forever burned into my memory.
I tried to focus on the long drive to Detroit I had in the morning.
I would have to call and arrange for someone to cover my shifts at work but I knew it wouldn't be a problem.
I knew my little red Beetle would manage the drive. I would only need a few days worth of clothes.
And anything extra…well, as far as I knew, my mother had kept my room as I had left it, so I expected my belongings would still be in tact.
-------------------------------------------
Breakfast was interesting that morning. I was at the table before the boys, which was an unusual occurrence my mother commented on.
"You seem chipper today." She smiled, setting my cereal down.
I smiled politely, not understand myself why I was so happy.
I hadn't felt this way since before I came him.
One by one my step brothers appeared, Jack being last.
When he saw me he blushed and sat silently and quickly across the table.
"You alright fairy?" Bobby said with a mouth full of bacon.
"Don't call him that Bobby." I scolded in a casual voice.
I felt the room freeze around me.
"Did you just…defend him?" Angel asked, his eyes wide.
"What? You give him too much of a hard time!" I said defensively.
Jack kept his eyes on the plate in front of him.
"But you hate him!" Bobby said defiantly.
As Bobby spoke, Jack twitched a little.
"I don't HATE him, Bobby. That was just horrible."
I couldn't help but smirk. I could feel that I had all this power over Jack, just sitting there.
The rest of breakfast was held in silence.
It was a Saturday, so Jack and I were left in the house again.
"You not going out with your friends?" I asked as I fell into an arm chair after everyone had left.
He shook his head and sat on sofa silently.
"You ok?" I asked, eyeing him.
"Uh-huh." He nodded.
I cocked an eyebrow.
Where was my sudden surge of confidence coming from?
Ever since I had moved here I felt like I'd lost all my confidence. Back home in Memphis I was popular, liked. But here….
Now I felt like I was myself. My old self, getting my own way.
I sat in silence, smiling, as we watched the Saturday morning cartoons.
After a while I moved to get up, when he finally spoke.
"Why did you do that?" His voice shook.
"What? I need the bathroom!" I said defensively.
"No, why did you do that…last night?"
"Why? Didn't you like it?" I smirked.
"No…Yes! I mean…I don't know…" He looked scared and I felt slightly guilty.
"Jack, what the Hell? I only kissed you. Get over it."
I left the room for the bathroom. I felt nervous and I didn't know why.
When I returned he was standing in the centre of the room with his arms folded, waiting for me.
"May I help you?" I said in a polite voice.
"Why did you kiss me?" He demanded.
I sighed, "Jack, get over it ok? It was only a kiss. It's not like I married you without you knowing!"
He didn't relent. "You like me, don't you?"
I froze. No way. That couldn't be right. Could it?
"Get over yourself freak!" I scoffed, trying to push past him to the sofa.
He grabbed my good arm and pulled me closer.
"You do, don't you?" He was half smirking.
No. This was going wrong. I was meant to be the confident one, yet now all I could see was a sudden gain of self esteem in his eyes.
"Jack, seriously, back off."
He leaned forward to kiss me, but I shoved him away.
Instantly I saw the look of hurt in his eyes.
"Sorry…" He whispered, backing off, "I guess I got it all wrong."
At that he turned and left the room.
I stood, stunned.
I had no idea what I had got myself into.
Did I like him? Was that what this was?
I had never really bothered with boys before, minus maybe a make out session at a school dance.
I was always more interested in my studies.
"Oh shit…" I whispered to myself.
I did like him.
---------------------------------------------
I packed my bag slowly in the morning. I hadn't slept very much the night before.
Each time I closed my eyes I was met by the screams of a young boy, much to my despair.
I had already spoken to my manager, who agreed I could do with some time off.
"You work too hard Christiana! I've been telling you to have a week off for months now!" She had laughed.
So that was sorted. I would have plenty of time to get things sorted.
I had time now, to decide how the Hell I was going to do this.
------------------------------------------------
I found Jack sitting on his bed, staring into space.
His eyes looked red.
"Have you been crying?" I asked, startling him.
He quickly rubbed his eyes.
"What do you want?" He asked in an aggravated tone.
I held up a bowl of freshly made popcorn, "Peace offering. Fancy watching a movie with me?"
He looked at me suspiciously.
I sighed and walked in the room. I closed his bedroom door and sat the bowl on his bedside table.
"I'm sorry Jackie." I said, joining him on the bed.
"I shouldn't have been as nasty to you as I have been. You never deserved any of it."
He nodded slowly, "Why do you hate me?"
"I don't hate you Jack."
He looked up at me and met my eyes.
Oh no, I thought, there I go again.
Before I knew it I had pressed my lips against his again, running my good hand through his hair.
He slowly pushed me away.
"What are you doing Chrissie?" He asked softly, confused.
I bit my lip.
"Why did you save me from Davie the other day?"
"You're my step sister." He shrugged, standing up.
"That can't be why. I mean, I'm always so nasty to you, it must be more."
He looked at me uneasily as I stood and walked towards him as he backed away.
Before I knew it he was against the far wall and I was in front of him.
"Just back off Chrissie." He sounded scared. And for some reason, I liked it.
I put my hand against his cheek.
"Jack, I'm not going to hurt you. I just want to show you something."
He looked at me worriedly, but kissed me back as my lips met his.
I could feel his cheeks shaking and I pulled away.
"That so hard?" I smiled.
At that his face flushed a deep red.
"What?" I asked/
He looked at the floor. Or, what I thought was the floor.
"Oh…" I said. Ah. Yes. Of course. Well, that would happen…
"I'm sorry," He said turning his back to me.
"Well, at least I know you're not gay!" I giggled.
"Oh ha ha" Jack sniped sarcastically.
I leaned forward and pressing my cheek against his back.
"Why are you doing that?" He asked, turning to face me, but keeping me at a distance.
"I don't know," I shrugged, walking over and sitting on his bed, "there something about you that makes me feel…like me." I sighed. Yup. This place had finally made me crazy.
I tried in vain to keep my eyes on his face, but it seemed difficult, especially with his constantly folding and unfolding his hands in front of his crotch.
"So…you do like me?" He asked.
I shrugged, "I guess I do."
He walked over and sat next to me.
"So what now?" He asked.
"What do you mean?" I looked at him puzzled.
"Well, do we tell mom or not?"
"Why on Earth would I tell my mother?" I asked in shock.
"Well, are you planning on sneaking in my room more often to spring surprise kissing sessions on me?" He smirked.
I thought about it. I knew I would.
"To be fair, I think it's my turn now," He said.
I looked at him curiously.
He leaned forward and pressed his forehead against mines so I could feel him breathing.
It was erratic.
Without warning he pushed his lips onto my own.
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I was driving along the highway when I saw my cell phone flash.
MOM : CALLING.
I still had the house saved under as mom. Jerry must be trying to reach me, I thought.
I kept driving, not looking. I wanted to sort my head out before I reached Detroit. It was only a few hours away, and I was basically signing off on my life.
