Title: Belonging

Disclaimer: Rurouni Kenshin and all it's characters do not belong to me. I am just borrowing them for a little while.

A/N: Ugh! It was so hard to get this chapter done! I HAD TO REWRITE MOST OF THIS BECAUSE I LOST IT! I am so annoyed, that chapter was good and there were notes there for the upcoming chapters and everything! It was all worked out and it got erased or lost or whatever…I am so frustrated…everything is gone…all my notes and stuff…/sigh/ T-T /lumbers off dejectedly to mope/

By the way, the little insert in this first scene is the lyrics from KIMI NI FURERU DAKE DE

P/S: I love torturing Aoshi! I just find him more suited to suffering in silence, hence his role in my fic. We all know how fiercely loyal he is to his friends and loved ones, right? He just has that look, sexy, tortured…/sighs dreamily/ anyway don't worry, he'll see Kaoru soon enough. ;-P


Chapter Six:

His world was narrowed down to that moment while he held her. Her touch, her feel, her smell, her heat, the sounds she was making.

That was where his entire being focused on, as the world outside the circle of their entwined bodies, faded into the background.

Kenshin closed his eyes and let her warmth envelope him.

There it was again that thump he felt inside of him whenever he was near her.

He wanted to pull her inside of himself.

The ferocity of the feeling sometimes scared him into pushing her away.

He held her tighter, inhaling the fresh jasmine scent of her hair.

Why was she crying?

He'd promised himself long ago that he would protect her from everything.

Even himself.

His eyes opened as he looked down at her.

What was making her cry?

Over at the far-off horizon he could sense something brewing and Kenshin knew that no matter how hard they fought it, it would still come.

He felt cold all of a sudden.

A kind of cold that was soul deep

"Kenshin…" Kaoru whispered against his chest as she held on to him tightly. Kenshin's eyes softened as he stroked her hair. He was used to a smiling, fiercely alive Kaoru who crackled with life. This Kaoru he held was trembling and scared.

And so unbearably sad.

There's nothing to be sad about,
such as countless tears that well up
and fall continuously.
My love is always unending.

"Why are you crying, koishii?" he asked softly, his lips against her soft hair.
Kaoru was surprised to hear him refer to her as his beloved. She looked up at him. "I don't understand why I feel this way…" she told him in between her sobs. "I feel like I'm losing you. Like one day I'll wake up and you'll be gone."

Kenshin lowered his head so their foreheads touched and their breaths mingled.

Pain twisted two hearts that had been destined to meet even before they were born into this lifetime.

"I feel as if you're pushing me away…" Kaoru whispered.

Baby, that's right.
Leave it to the inflamed anxiety,
almost melting our bodies.
Let us overcome everything.

"I tried to, I tried so hard for so long…but I can't…" came his haggard reply.

Kaoru's eyes widened as they filled with hurt and confusion. "Why are you trying to leave me?"

"Because I don't want to…" Kenshin replied. "Because I've grown too attached to you and I'm scared of losing you one day."

She didn't understand, but an instinct deep within her knew she must reach out and hold on to him to keep him from slipping away. "You'll never lose me Kenshin," Kaoru said. "Please don't pull away. Whatever happens, we can manage it together."

Kenshin was silent as he looked into the bottomless blue pools of her eyes.

"I love you, Kenshin."

His arms tightened around her.

Ah, whenever I touch you, I draw closer to you.
Ah, as I feel you, I am happy.
As if to be certain of these feelings that soar ever higher,
I hold you tight.

"You don't even know me."

"I know enough to know you'll never hurt me," Kaoru whispered. "I know enough to know that you're too pure for your own good."

"I'm tainted." Kenshin said, closing his eyes and remembering that rainy night when he'd first killed humans in cold blood. When the lighting flashed to illuminate his blood-soaked hands and reveal his sin.

He would never forget the feeling of exhilaration that coursed through him even as his heart recoiled in disgust at what he'd done.

"Kenshin no baka…"

"I'm not good enough for you…"

"You're perfect, koibito…"

As if to comfort
this almost-breaking heart that cries out without meaning
many times over
your love gently envelops it.

Kenshin looked down at Kaoru's face. Her eyelashes were spiked with tears and her large blue eyes were luminous as she looked at him.

Her face was so close to his that he could see his reflection in her eyes.

He saw himself through her eyes.

"There are bad parts of me…"

"I know. You're stupid and you're much too self-deprecating and there are times when I think you're even prettier than me…definitely a bad sign…"

Kenshin smiled.

If she only knew how lovely she was in his eyes.

The memory of her smile could vanish the shadows of his mind and allow him to live in the present with her, and share in her life and in her beautiful light. "I don't think that I am prettier than you…" he said as he placed a small kiss on her forehead.

He didn't want to drag her down into his world and slowly watch as her innocence vanished in the face of the brutal truths of his existence.

Baby, that's right.
Your beloved appearance
always invites me
to the point that I forget everything else.

Kaoru reached up and touched the mark on his face. She felt a jolt as her fingers connected with his birthmark and she realized he'd felt it too because his eyes had widened in surprise.

"Kenshin, loving someone isn't just about the good times." Kaoru said as she played with the wet hair hanging around his face. A part of her was shocked at what she was doing and what she was saying to him…but another part of Kaoru knew that this was supposed to happen. She loved him deeply and she sensed that he was struggling with something within himself.

Comforting him is more important than pride or shyness.

He is more important than even her self.

"Kenshin, loving someone is about enduring even the harshest of pain, because you'd rather have that than nothing at all…"

"Kaoru…"

"I feel empty without you. Do you understand that?" Kaoru said as she beat her fist once against his chest to emphasize her point. "Empty, Kenshin! I feel a void inside of me and it hurts when I think of you!" she buried her face in his chest and inhaled his scent. "I'd rather have you and be hurt than continue to feel this emptiness inside my heart. As long as you're near me, nothing matters…"

Ah, whenever I touch you, I draw closer to you.
Ah, as I feel you, I am happy.
The two of us feeling free to soar ever higher,
I hold you tight.

"You may not feel that way in the long run," Kenshin warned even as he drew her closer. He couldn't seem to summon the strength to deny her when what she wanted was something he so dearly desired for himself.

"You're not God, don't try and make predictions of a future that you're not even sure is going to happen," Kaoru muttered against his chest.

"We both might end up hurt. I don't mind the pain but I don't ever want you to cry because of me."

"It's my tears baka," Kaoru said to him. "I can do with them whatever I want."

Kenshin smiled, but she didn't see because she was too busy inhaling his scent.

"Kenshin…I love you…and it's okay if you just want to be friends…I just, I guess I just wanted you to know how I feel…"

"Kaoru no baka," he chided as he used his index finger to tilt her chin so that she was looking up at him again. The pink tinge on her cheeks endeared her to him so much he felt like his heart would burst. "Aishiteru koishii."

Ah, Just by touching you, my heart is given life.
Ah, Just by touching you, I am content.
As if to be certain of these feelings that soar ever higher,
I hold you even tighter...

Kenshin lowered his lips slowly to hers, keeping his eyes open and staring into hers all the while, ready to withdraw at the slightest sign of rejection or doubt.

There was only welcome and acceptance in her eyes.

And joy.

Kaoru smiled as she pressed her lips to his.

They kept their eyes open as they stared into each other's soul, sealing a promise of forever.

They did not veil their emotions but let the other see exactly what it was they were feeling at that moment.

It was love.

Ah, Just by touching you, my heart is given life.
Ah, Just by touching you, it makes me happy.
Now, simply so as not to put an end to this feeling,
I hold you tight

I hold you


A/N: Originally this was supposed to be one long chapter with Soujiro and Megumi meeting Kaoru, but I cut it in half. I thought this Kenshin/Kaoru scene should stand alone. Anyway, the next chapter is going to be up tomorrow or maybe a little bit later today if I can polish it in time.

Kaoru has no idea about her past and Aoshi waiting in the wings…I'm so excited to write their scense but things have to be established before they can meet, but don't worry it's coming soon! ;-P

Please review!

For those of you who are actually reading Perfect Fit, the next chapter is also out. ;-P