May 5, 2006
This evening I went to Justin's for dinner. He's become quite the cook, it seems. His chicken parmesan was as good as you'd get from any restaurant. I brought a bottle of wine, which he really liked. Between the two of us we polished it off. I also brought a joint which we shared, just like old times.
God, it was good to spend time with him again. We talked about my ad business. We talked about his college years. It sounds like he dated around and had a few boyfriends, but nothing too serious. His most recent was some fellow named Wes. They lived together, but Wes got a job offer out of town and Justin let him go. He sounds disappointed, but not brokenhearted.
I got him caught up with the gang back in the Pitts. After dinner Justin and I just sat on the couch and talked for hours. He's so easy to talk to.
We were hot and heavy for about a year and then had five years away from each other. That's kind of an odd basis for a friendship. Of course, the fact that I know he's great in bed (or was) constantly runs through my mind. Looking back at my journal of the last five years, there were some pretty great fucks, but nobody with a 5/5 overall score.
So, how do I feel about him now? I like him. I like hanging around with him. I admire the fact that he's become successful on his own. Since we have some history, it's easy for him to relate to where I came from.
We just hugged to say goodnight. Do I want to fuck him again? Hell yes.
- B
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May 10, 2006
I ran into Justin again today. You'd think it'd be inevitable, living in the same building, but I always seem to miss him. He paints during the day when the morning sun comes into his sunroom downstairs. Then afternoons and part of the evening he's working at the gallery.
My schedule is to get up early and make some business contacts. I've done some consulting on a couple of different accounts for my friend Vince who runs a nice little ad firm here in Toronto. After the morning meetings with him and his team, I have the rest of the day to myself. I hit the gym most days, then I pick Gus up after school and watch him until Lindsay or Mel gets home and then I usually take off after that. Sometimes I'm watching Jenny Rebecca, too. She's a doll. Sometimes I'll have dinner there, but Lindsay and Mel are up to their necks in wedding plans. Jesus! It's bad enough they had ONE wedding, now they have to do it all again? At least I don't have to plan this one for them. And, of course, I didn't actually attend the last ceremony because I won those tickets to the White Party in Miami. I had way more fun there.
So, when I'm out in the morning, Justin is home. By the time I get back in the afternoon - he's out. By the time he gets back – I've gone to hit Church Street. I don't think he hits the bars that much these days. He's been busy with work.
But today I didn't have any meetings, so, while sipping my morning coffee, I could see Justin painting. I can see into his sunroom from my balcony. God, he's so hot when he's painting. I just stood there and watched him for half an hour, sporting wood, then decided that that was stupid. I poured some coffee into a mug and brought it downstairs to him. I still remember how he likes his coffee.
He was pleased to see me and showed me the painting he was working on. He's fucking brilliant. I might not know a lot about art history or the masters or any of that shit, but, damn, I like the abstract work he's doing now.
As I was leaving to go pick up Gus, I hugged Justin for a little while. He smelled so good. We kissed goodbye – no tongue – but a nice soft kiss.
What's happened to me? Normally, I'm rating cocksucking abilities and now I'm writing about a kiss. Well, as long as I'm at it.
He's about 5'8" with blond hair.
Name: Justin
Info: artist, perfect ass
Kissing: *****
Overall: (potential) 5 / 5
- B
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May 14, 2006
Tux fitting day. I'm not really into monkey suits, but Lindsay insisted that I get one for the wedding. I told her that Mel was the only one that needed to be in a tux. I like a nice regular suit, but, I don't know why, I find tuxes to be so confining. When I went to Justin's prom I didn't even tie the tie around my neck.
Anyway, I'll have a black tux with a gray shirt and a black bow tie. Mel's friend Leda will be in a gray dress, which, reportedly, she hates. I can't wait to hear her bitch about it all day. Actually, it'll be funny. I'll be sure to give her shit. I wonder if they'll make her wear heels, too.
Justin and I rode together to get fitted for our tuxes today. When he came out in his tux, he took my breath away. As an usher, he has a white shirt and gray bow tie like he wore to prom. His hair is longer, but he had it all combed back. He looked just like he did at prom. His blue eyes sparkled and he looked so fucking irresistible. He saw me smile at him and asked me how he looked.
"Beautiful." I said. Just beautiful.
- B
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May 19, 2006
The wedding is tomorrow. Michael and Ben are up from Pittsburgh, along with Debbie and Carl. Ted will be in tomorrow with Blake. I've heard that Emmett is going to be here with Cal, too. Mikey will be watching J.R. during the day and I'll have Gus, the ring bearer. Justin and I are supposed to pick him up around 10 a.m. At the reception, Deb and Carl will take the kids back home and watch them overnight. I'll be happy to have a day with Gus, but I'll also be glad to hand him off so I can enjoy the rest of my evening.
I think I'll request "Save the Last Dance for Me", the song that Justin and I danced to at his prom. Now, if I can just remember the dance. It'll be good to recreate the happier part of that evening.
I find myself thinking about him all of the time. I fantasize and imagine doing all kinds of things to him. The sex was always so great. He had this adventurous 'go at it' quality to any sexual encounter that was like nothing I've ever known before or since.
When we had dinner one of those first nights I was in Toronto, we agreed that we'd just be friends. He was just getting over Wes and I was just looking forward to scoring all of the fresh meat in town. It's been great tricking around. There are some hot guys here. The thing is, the more I spend time with Justin, the less I want anyone else. God, what has happened to me?
As long as we've avoided jumping into bed together, I've been able to imagine maintaining my fabulous single life. I'm afraid that as soon as I fuck him, if and when that happens, it won't be so easy for me to not have him on a regular basis. It's like I get addicted to him. God knows, I've had my share of drugs and alcohol in my day. I think I've avoided any addiction, but Justin…?
When he left for college it took me … a long time to get over him.
- B
