"Truce"
Monday night…
Heads. Tails. Heads. Tails. Heads. Stop.
Tails. Heads. Tails. Heads. Stop
Heads. Tails. Heads. Tails. Heads. Tails. Heads. Tails. Heads. Tails. Stop
The android flipped the coin in the air, his mind completely focused it as his L.E.D. slowly pulsed deep red. He felt himself counting how many times the coin spun as it was thrown, tracking each face as it flew through the air before falling back to his hand. Everything was blank. His face, his mind, and even his heart. The coin was the only thing breaking the nothingness.
Connor had been half dragged away from the mercenaries' facility the day before by the first responders of the situation. No one had been able to speak to the android or even move him from the floor. The android just sat catatonically in vigil, clinging to his late partner's body, refusing to move or speak even under orders.
After they finally pulled him out, Connor had been moved to a FBI safe house where he was kept under careful watch by one of the agents who once worked as an assistant for a licensed technician. She treated him as necessary, but Connor never spoke to her. He simply sat still with his eyes focused on the floor. The technician and her superior now stood outside of Connor's door, both with heavy hearts as they tried to deal with the android while accepting the loss of one of their own agents.
"I don't know…" the technician whispered to her superior who was in charge of the safe house. "His vitals are stable and no major injuries were received. Yet his L.E.D. is showing that there is something majorly wrong."
"Seems like he's in a sort of catatonic state." The agent commented. "It's almost like the kind of shock I've seen from my agents in this kind of situation."
"I've treated androids that have been in shock before…" the technician commented, "But watching a partner die...Watching Parker...T-That's the kind of thing that can affect people for years. It's just not something I can treat."
"We're gonna send him back to his precinct in Detroit when he's ready to travel. He's very good at what he does, and I want him to work for this team, but he's compromised. I wouldn't force any of my other men to work after this kind of thing." The agent sighed.
"He's clearly traumatized." The technician said with concern in her voice. "Struggling with emotion is a big obstacle in the life of any deviant. But what's happening here is on an extreme. His systems can't process it and are shutting themselves down as a result." She paused for a moment, deeply troubled by her helplessness in the situation. "I can't stabilize his condition, but perhaps you could recommend a psychologist."
"It will likely be mandatory if he's to work again. Well..it would be if he were human." The agent retorted, taking a cigarette out of his pocket and lighting it. "But who knows what his chief will say? No one around knows how to respond when it comes to androids."
"I know…" the technician said, looking to Connor who was sitting idle on the edge of the bed in the room he was staying in. "It's so disheartening to see anyone in this state…"
"You see it a lot in this field.." The agent lamented softly, cigarette hanging from his mouth. "You see a lot of shit out there that you can never be ready for." He looked to Connor with a sorry realization in his eyes, "That kid has every procedure and police tactic in his head from day one." He scoffed lightly, "but nothing he knows could ever prepare his heart." Then a thought crossed his mind that put a weak smile on his face. "The other members of the team are showing a lot of respect for him, Merriman. I wasn't sure how they would take it knowing that this android was Jareau's partner in the mission."
"They see him as another agent who tried to save him when he was shot in the line of duty." Merriman emphasized, a pained smile crossed her face. As she bit back tears. "The team is hurting horribly right now, but they're good people and they want to take care of him."
"They could cast blame on him, but I think the only person they truly want revenge from is the mercenary leader." He stressed, "The Android put a shot in his kneecap, and honestly, I don't know if I can trust any of the team to control themselves." Merriman shook her head.
"They're all handling the news differently. Cam is taking it harder than most...Parker was like a guardian to him." The superior agent sighed heavily.
"Bailey is the team's youngest, and Jareau helped him feel like less of an outcast for it. He watched out for all of them." Merriman and the other agent were silent for a moment before she changed the subject.
"What will happen to those androids that were rescued from the facility?" She asked softly
"They're being sent to Detroit, well most of them. The one that was still deviated before Connor arrived had humans who were rescued from the facility as well. The rest are going with the deviant leader Markus to relearn who they are." He sighed heavily. "Five facilities around Michigan were attacked yesterday and nearly 30 androids and 14 humans were found in total."
"Parker saved a lot of people yesterday...no doubt he'll be remembered."
The agent took Merriman by the shoulder, and sighed, looking back to the android that had been left in their care.
"You should go back to the team now. There isn't anything else we can do for the android tonight." Merriman nodded, turning away from the room and down the hall. The other agent stood for a moment, watching Connor's pulsing L.E.D. "Connor.." He called in a firm but calm tone. The android didn't move, but continued flipping the quarter and catching it in the palm of his hand. "I understand that there isn't much I can say right now...But if there is anything you need, just ask for Agent Harrod." He watched Connor for a moment before sighing and walking back down the hall.
Heads. Tails. Heads. Tails. Heads. Stop.
Connor continued subconsciously. His mind was blank, and yet racing with thought at the same time. The sounds of absent gunshots were constantly sounding inside his skull. He could feel the thick consistency of human blood on his hands. Things that weren't really there. He knew they weren't there. They couldn't be there.
Yet it was.
Heads. Tails. Heads. Tails. Heads. Stop.
Always. It wouldn't stop. The sounds. The blood. The fear.
Heads. Tails. Heads. Tails. Heads. Stop.
Where was Hank?
Heads. Tails. Heads. Tails-
"Hey." Connor dropped the coin, letting it spin along the crevices of the hardwood floor for a moment before it fell idle on its side.
Heads
A voice and a hand on his shoulder interrupted his thoughts. For the first time his hand stopped, shaking as it held its position.
"I..I'm sorry." The man spoke softly, clearing his throat. "M..my name is Cam. Well..Cam Bailey...Uh- F-FBI Agent." His voice was very shaky and hoarse as if he'd been crying. Connor was still for a moment, before slowly looking up at the other agent. He was a very young looking man with bright green eyes that looked bloodshot and puffy, and short, unkempt blonde hair. He was about the same size as Connor. He bent over, picking up the coin from the ground and stuck his hand out, offering it to the android. "I didn't...uh, mean to make you drop it." He chuckled nervously. Connor hesitated for a moment, causing Cam to pull back his hand for a moment, frowning.
"T..Thank you…" Connor responded, his voice shaking as he reached out his hand. His L.E.D. slowly cycled to yellow for a moment before going back to red. Cam smiled weakly and placed the coin in his hand.
"I…" Cam stammered, "They're having the funeral ceremony tomorrow morning and...I mean...I thought you might like something to wear...Like if you wanna go.." Connor looked away, frowning slightly. He was wearing a hoodie and jeans given to him by the other agents to replace the bloodstained clothing he had before. His own dress clothes and uniform jacket were folded neatly on a dresser across the room from him, but he appreciated this agent's offer.
"I have clothing.." He began slowly, "But..thank you." Cam nodded, his face flushing with embarrassment.
"Um..right, of course." He stammered, "Can...can I get you anything?"
"No...I'm…" Connor looked down at the floor. "I just need to go home." His voice was hoarse and hardly a whisper. Cam sniffled a little bit and when Connor looked back at him, he had started crying again.
"S-sorry I...this is all really new and I don't know if I really believe it all yet...B-but...Parker was our friend...He was my friend. And my team is hurting a lot right now but...But I know we have each other...I really just wanted to make sure you weren't like...alone in all this." Connor's L.E.D. changed yellow. "Y...you saved a lot of people yesterday...and Parker...he...he would have wanted us to treat you like part of the team." He smiled weakly at Connor through his tears. "I...I'll leave you alone now...But...just know that you aren't...alone...you know?" He chuckled softly to himself before turning and leaving.
As he left, Connor looked down at the coin that was still in the palm of his hand. He sat silently for a moment before placing the shining object back in his pocket.
Tuesday morning...
Connor had never been to funeral before.
He knew the process and had heard of the subject before. But no one in his life had ever...died before. He never had to say goodbye for a final time...And even if he had, he never would have cared before.
The ceremony for Agent Parker Jareau had been long. News of the decorated agent's final mission had spread quickly, and the church where the funeral was held had quickly filled itself with police officers and FBI agents and even seemingly random members of the community. Anyone that had felt impacted by what this man had done was here to celebrate him and mourn together as one. Many people found themselves at the podium, ready to tell a story or tell of Jareau's many successful missions or how good of a cop, a friend, or a mentor he was.
But their voices were all clouded and unintelligible. Connor was silent and everything felt cold through the service.
Everything around him felt surreal, and for a moment, Connor found himself wondering if any of this had actually happened. The only thing that snapped him back to reality was a sickening feeling in the center of his body, a horrific pain that was only dulled by an impending sense of denial that this had even happened.
After the procession had ended, the group of mourners began their pilgrimage to the cemetery for the final interment. Traffic in Lansing had stopped for what seemed like an hour as hundreds of people followed the hearse.
Connor rode to the cemetery with the agent Cam that had spoken with him the day before. They were both very quiet and everything felt still. Time was passing slowly and quickly at the same time it seemed.
When they finally reached the cemetery, Connor noted that Cam stepped away to join the other pallbearers who were preparing to unload the casket. There were six of them including Cam, and two he recognized as the technician assistant called Merriman and the leader Harrod. Connor carefully scanned their faces, noting their names.
Matthew Harrod
Kristine Merriman
Cameron Bailey
Sal Ciccarello
Evelyn Cross
Noah James
Jareau's team. All of them now carrying their partner to his burial place.
After they had set the casket down and each of the team member had said their words in honor of Jareau, the six lined up along the its edges, and folded a flag across the top of it.
Then each of them drew their guns, inserting a blank before firing three shots over Jareau's black casket.
Connor found himself flinching as the salute was carried out and the shots were fired, his L.E.D. transitioning to red for a moment.
Then, Cam drew a radio that was holstered to his side and gave one final call to his friend.
Bailey to Jareau.
Repeat.
Bailey to Jareau, do you copy?
His words were met with a hushed silence. He exhaled, his voice shaking as he attempted the second call.
Bailey to Jareau
Jareau, do you copy?
Silence.
Cam looked to the sky, tears forming in his eyes.
Agent Parker Jareau is out of service after nine years of work for the FBI and for this team.
Gone but not forgotten.
Over and out
The group of mourners then formed a line, each throwing a Lilly onto the casket as it was lowered slowly into the ground. Songs were sung, words were said, and grief was shared. And slowly, people left the gravesite, until none were left mourning the fallen Agent.
None but Connor.
Connor stayed behind, wandering and stumbling the cemetery in a daze, blinking through the mist that was in his eyes. The surreal feeling had settled in again, leaving Connor unsure of what was real. Then, a single voice cut through the waking dream.
"Connor?" The voice was familiar. It was warm. Connor looked up across the graveyard, the thin mist of tears still clouding his sight, but the face he saw was unmistakable. It was Hank.
Connor hadn't recognized Hank's presence throughout the crowded funeral procession, but when the detective had heard of his old friend's passing, he went in honor of him. Sadly, it was also the only place he could imagine Connor would be in all this mess.
Hank looked at Connor, approaching him slowly. But the faded and agonized look on the android's face was unmistakable. He had seen it many times before as it wasn't uncommon for officers in this kind of field. But Hank could see clearly the traumatizing grief that sat idle on his partner's face as they stared at each other.
Connor stood blinking for a moment, confused and lost with his L.E.D. now pulsing from red to yellow. For a moment, the sound of Hank's voice pulled him back to reality, and the grim realization set in. He felt now that he couldn't hold back anything, and his knees slowly began to give in as he fell to the ground, letting the tears pour.
"Shit! Connor!" Hank exclaimed, running to the android, kneeling down in front of him and taking him in his arms.
Connor found himself clinging to Hank as he now sobbed openly and uncontrollably, burying his face in his partner's coat.
"H-Hank...I..I..can't..."
"Shh.." Hank shushed him, rubbing his head softly as he held the android in a tight embrace, "I gotcha Con...It's okay, son. It's gonna be okay."
"I...I'm so sorry…" He cried in a muffled sob, "I n-never...I never should have…"
"Me too, son." Hank responded softly. "But It's okay kid… I heard about what happened yesterday. You did a really great thing…"
Hank watched as Connor's L.E.D. was now cycling with a bit of blue mixed into the yellow. He closed his eyes and exhaled softly as he consoled his grieving partner.
"It's okay, son." He repeated in a hushed whisper, rocking the android slowly.
"I'm here to take you home."
Author's Notes:
Here's the song that inspired the title of this chapter as well as the overall feel of that last reunion. It's a personal favorite of mine and I have honestly imagined this playing during the reunion since before I even wrote this. Hope you enjoy it!
watch?v=XL8S-2rTBHA
