Be yourself…great advice, well, maybe it would be great advice if Quinn could work out exactly who the hell she was! It wasn't that she didn't want to change, okay, maybe in a way the thought was a little terrifying. After all, when she acted like an ass and still got the ladies then it was good, and the few times she struck out were because of the very fact she was an ass. If she were herself and still got shot down, well, that would hurt, as in putting a hand with a paper cut on it in a packet of salt and vinegar chips type hurt…sharp and persistent. At least the weather was perfect for biking and she was taking the opportunity to drive a little slower than she normally would, because there was just something about the autumnal colours of the leaves reflecting the suns rays brightly that made her feel content, hopeful even. She always had loved this time of year more than any other and had often thought that if she were to fall in love it would most likely be in the fall…she hadn't been wrong.

She liked Rachel…or to be more accurate she loved her or thoughts he did, and if she didn't yet then she was more than three quarters of the way there already. But,it was important to emphasise the fact she liked her as well. After all, you could love someone but dislike them intensely, just as you could really like someone but find them annoying and unbearable to be around. Relationships were weird and that was one reason (among the very many she had) that Quinn had always made sure to steer clear of them, the only ones she had ever seen had ended badly, in tears and pain at best…blood and bullets at worst. Some of the things that the hockey player had seen and heard were downright vile and it had caused her to hesitate. Rachel was…well she was everything that Quinn would never be.

The blonde adjusted her hands within their riding gloves and toggled the control on the handle that operated the radio inside her crash helmet, definitely time to distract herself with some music and as they were currently playing the AC/DC back catalogue it seemed a perfect method of distraction. She wanted to be with Rachel more than anything she had ever wanted before, she could admit to that, now at least, but she also didn't want to hurt the diva. Not out of some sense of over protectiveness, because it was clear as crystal that Rachel Berry was no pushover! She just wanted to protect her from the dark places in her own mind, so far she had been a pro at keeping everyone away from them, which is why she preferred to keep things simple. Love always screwed things up, always did and always would.

Sighing she kicked the bike up into fifth and piled on a bit more speed, it was just typical that the first person that managed to get through her defences would be someone she simultaneously wanted and yet not wanted. Sighing within the confines of her crash helmet Quinn tried to find one example, just one time in her past when trust had paid off. She didn't count her mom's or siblings because…well actually she didn't know why, maybe because they were something she had never tried for or wanted they had just happened. One minute she was on the street, sleeping in the basement generator room of a block of flats with shitty security, and the next she was trying to keep her head above water in a children's home. Shortly after that the cop who busted her turned up and adopted her and then she gained the one damn thing that had gone right so far in her life.

But love, well that was something else, the kind of love it took to let someone in…to allow them to see the dark parts as well as the fun and frivolous ones that resided in your soul, that was…an epic amount of trust to place in someone. People thought they knew Quinn but in a way her mom was right, they only knew the Quinn that she let them see, none of them knew, for instance, that even now, years after being adopted and brought into a warm and loving home, that she still slept with a baseball bat under her mattress and kept a getaway bag at the bottom of her closet just in case. They didn't know she was still scared to sleep without some kind of light on or that she had to keep her back to the wall and her eyes on the door. They didn't know that she was in major love with turtles, tortoises and terrapins of all shapes and sizes and if things were different she would love to have worked in a zoo with the fascinating creatures. They didn't know that every time she saw an obviously much loved and treasured toy in a lost and found bin that it made her sad, or that she hated the thought of any animal ever being hurt because it made her cry and she couldn't watch news stories about it.

Gritting her teeth Quinn flexed her legs out either side of the bike to ease cramping muscles and wished for a moment she wasn't riding so she could run her hands through her hair or rub the back of her neck in her usual mannerism when she was frustrated. Maybe she would just…take it slowly, as in snail slow, no wait! Snail on the back of a really old arthritic tortoise slow (she then ended up sidetracking herself for a good ten minutes wondering if tortoises even got arthritis) but yeah, that was a nice and slow speed that wouldn't get anyone hurt. Besides, if that idiot man child was still there it would be a heck of a lot easier if she just avoided Rachel altogether, as then she wouldn't have to think about the fact she was falling for her skating partner or the fact she would happily skate right over the Sasquatch's face…repeatedly!

Sadly, the ride was coming to an end as she was only about ten miles from what she personally thought of as the 'Spencer Mansion' a joke that Rachel didn't get, and one of the reasons Quinn knew she had it bad for Rachel, because when the diva looked at her blankly instead of spouting out the entire history of the fictional mansion and it's contribution to one of the greatest gaming franchises ever (something she normally would have done without a seconds hesitation, I mean come on who hadn't heard of Resident Evil?)…she had instead just thought how cute the diva looked with that minute half frown adorning her brows. She decided to head straight for the rink as soon as she saw the lights of the big house in the distance, hoping against hope that the coach was still away for the weekend with Shannon and that Rachel was…well, Hell that Rachel was just anywhere but on the rink. Back home when she got frustrated as Hell she would hit the ice and smash a few pucks into the net…she still wanted to hit the rink but she had different intentions this time, ones she was partly embarrassed about and partly excited about.

The rink was in darkness as she pulled up outside her bungalow and getting off the bike she let out a low groan and stretched her muscles before heading inside to dump off her bags and take off her riding leathers. Once she was in just her ripped jeans and an old check shirt of Santana's she grabbed her skating equipment duffel and headed towards the rink. There was luckily no sign of life inside, and in the far reaches of the Berry mansion she could just see a light on where Rachel's rooms were so she assumed that the diva was snuggled up nicely with the dumb Sasquatch. Quinn physically shuddered at that thought, not that she was like some rabid man hater, I mean you can always appreciate a nicely put together body no matter what the sex, for instance Quinn found Jason Statham totally hot, she wouldn't sleep with him, but definitely hot, same went for David Boreanaz, hot but not to sleep with, good ideas for sperm donors maybe…shaking her head at herself wryly (Geez Fabray, you haven't even got the girl yet and you're thinking about sperm donors for kids?) she headed into the rink and hit the lights with a dramatic flourish and slight grin.

As usual she felt something within her calm as the lights flooded the rink, lighting it up as her own private haven that night. She was glad to be partnered with a rich skater at times like these. Back home she would have to pay some major dough or break in after closing hours to have the rink to herself, but here, every time insomnia hit (and it hit more often than she ever let on) she could just walk a few yards and bam! She was on the ice and on her own. Letting out a breath she walked over to the comfy corner area and dumped her bag down, slipping her I Pod from her pocket she powered up the docking station and after pocketing the remote sat down to lace her skates on. This was definitely something new when it came to blowing off steam and to be honest she had no idea how it was going to go but she just sort of…felt it calling to her as she drove home and with one last dry chuckle at her own foolishness she stood up and made sure the correct track was cued and ready to go. The song itself had been stuck in her head for the last several miles home and it felt kind of appropriate.

She was curious about exactly what she had learned and how well she could put it together, another little known fact about Quinn Fabray was her reliance on music. She remembered hearing one particular song years ago, even before her mother had left, she had little to no real memories of the woman but she did remember how much she had loved Elton John, and even now every time she heard the guy she could smell whisky and dope. But he sang this one song called 'Sad Songs' and it said basically everything she wanted to say about how important music was to her. It was a conduit, to her emotions, to other peoples emotions, it provided a safe way of delving into the murky quagmire of the human condition.

Letting out a breath she remembered that song and hummed it lightly to herself, music was a universal language, not in the literal sense perhaps like say Maths was. But the thing is, it didn't matter how you felt, what mood you were shooting for there was a song to fit it. That was why Quinn in particular held music in a very high esteem, for instance, if she came home and her dad was playing 'The Doors' it meant that no matter what she did right or wrong that day she was gonna get thrashed at some point, consequently that band to her translated as despair, unfairness and danger. But, if he had the Stones or the Beatles on then she could be fairly confident that he would pay little to no attention to her and that she could relax for the rest of the day.

Throughout the years the one thing that had kept Quinn going when she had been near to giving up, homeless, cold, hungry…when she'd actually considered selling herself just to have a bed for the night that was safe and warm, it was music that kept her spirits up. Being homeless had had its upside in that she had been exposed to so many varieties of music. Before she'd ran from the mobster her father had sold her to she had mainly been exposed to soft rock, sixties, seventies and eighties music. But when she'd been on the streets and spent time with the buskers and pan handlers she had also experienced world music, Cuban, Latin, African, Street Rap as well as Jazz, Blues, Country and Metal. And all of it had it's good and bad sides, there were some styles she loved and some that she hated but every time she heard something new she felt alive, worldly…like she was part of something. So when Quinn listened to music, she REALLY listened to music.

Skating out to the centre of the rink she took up a starting position and for a moment wondered exactly how she was going to do this. She figured it would be familiar to anything else, in that she just had to relax and then let the music in, the rest would just…hit her, get inside of her and then she would let it back out using what she had learnt so far. Or at least she hoped that would be how it worked, if not she could end up looking like a complete fuckwit, hence the not wanting anybody else to witness this. Plus of course she wanted to find out how much she had actually retained and whether or not she could string it together without killing herself or her partner.

Secretly she would confess to herself that she was kind of intimidated by Rachel on the ice, the girl was so fluid and magical it was like she was in the music, already a part of it without needing to try. And the one thing Quinn had already decided was that even if she and Rachel were never going to be anymore than skating partners, she wanted to make sure they were the best damn skating partnership they could be! So with one last breath she let the tension out and then lifting the remote pressed play before resting it on the side and closing her eyes as the first few bars of the song she had chosen started to fill the rink…what she didn't see was the curious face of Rachel Berry as she leaned on the doorframe watching quietly, with the black robe she had on over her fleece pyjamas she was practically invisible even if Quinn had been looking.

I felt itThe wire touched my neckAnd then someone pulled it tighterI never saw it comingI started to black out andThen someone said good morningI took it as a warningI should have seen it comingSo now I'll take a chance onThis thing we may have startedIntentional or not IDon't think we saw it comingIt's all adding up to somethingThat asks for some involvementThat asks for a commitmentI think I see it comingIf we step out on that limb

As soon as the lyrics started, Quinn began to move, Hell she began to skate! And not just skate, she began to dance on ice. It was something she had never dreamt of, even though in reality it was what they were aiming for she had seen herself as being very much the muscle, the support and framework for Rachel to launch herself to greatness, but as she landed her first double axle on flawless feet she didn't even try to fight the grin that spread across her face. Planting her skates firmly she started a step sequence on the very tips of the heels and toes of the boots as the next verse started.

My heartbeat beats me senselesslyWhy's everything got to be so intense with meI'm trying to handle all this unpredictabilityIn all probability

As she went through the sequence fluidly (But carefully!) she added a twist, and as she went into the finish she not only nailed it with perfect balance but got herself into a perfect position to start a run up for when the verse ended and the chorus kicked in.It's a long shot and I say why notIf I say forget it I know that I'll regret itIt's a long shot just to beat these oddsThe chance is we won't make it but I know if I don't take it there's no chance'Cause you're the best I gotSo take a long shot

As the chorus started Quinn blew a stray strand of hair out of her eyes and felt a joy she hadn't felt in ages as she soared across the ice and into a smooth knee slide, reaching the end of it at the words 'no chance' at that point she effortlessly managed to raise up to both feet again and perform a Choctaw before the word 'shot' had finished.I realize that there is all this doubtingThings we're both scared about but We'll never see them comingThrow caution to the wind andWe'll see what way it's blowingAnd into this fully knowingWe'll never see it comingUntil it's much too close to stop

Another smooth skate along the ice and a delicate yet perfect single axle jump that moved smoothly into several crossovers in time with the background beat of the tune. On the last crossover Quinn grinned happily at her progress and decided to just go for it and attempt one of the moves she only ever managed to nail about half the times she tried it and so, as the next verse started she skated smoothly into a flying spin.

Oh I waited for fact to come to fictionAnd you fit my descriptionI never saw you comingBut we'll make it

The jump was landed but it wasn't one hundred percent smooth, there was a slight wobble and she made a mental note to work on correcting that later. She didn't dwell on it however as she started working on some of the footwork moves coach Schu had been showing them, she adjusted the timing of them to fit the tempo of the song and even threw in a few finger snaps as she let the melody fully take her.You didn't expect thisOh you never saw me comingYou didn't expect thisOh you never saw this comingI take a long shotI take a long shot, shot, shot, shot'Cause you're the best I gotOh I'm taking this chance on you babyI'm taking this chance on you babyI'm taking this chance

As the song started to wind down Quinn moved through a few more moves she either wanted to try and polish or just plain old wanted to try, she also realised she was singing along with it which was akin to a miracle given the exertion that had gone into the skating alone. Skating a smooth loop she moved into a scratch spin that lasted until the last note of the song sounded at which point she came out of it abruptly and ended with one leg stretched out so the toe pick dug into the ice and her hand rested on the opposite hip. After a moment she laughed, at the sheer joy of making it without landing on her face, and the sheer joy she hadn't expected, at being able to express herself that way.

"Wow, you looked like a serious ice dancing threat out there Gretzky."

The voice that sounded from the (Quinn finally noticed) ajar door to the main house was only mildly amused, but heavily impressed and that was good, Hell that was fantastic because that was what Quinn was trying to be, what they both needed to be. The timing of the diva's speech however, and more importantly the lack of announcement before she spoke, sucked big time and Quinn Fabray who had just managed a four minute solo ice dance lost all her poise and grace as she yelped and started in shock, ending up on her ass on the ice. Rachel clapped a hand to her mouth and her eyes widened as she saw the hockey player go down and without thinking she slithered out onto the ice in her…tiger feet slippers?

"What the fuck are you wearing on your feet Princess?"

That was the only thing then dazed blonde could actually focus on as she watched her dark haired partner slide over the ice towards her. However, as experienced as Rachel Berry was on the ice she had never tried to walk across the rink before in furry slippers and was slightly more clumsy while doing so than Quinn had been when she first put on figure skates…a fact that the blonde would have taken great delight in pointing out, if the diva hadn't been headed straight for her. It didn't even happen fast, in fact it was almost comically slow and Quinn could only get her exhausted hands halfway up to protect herself before Rachel let out an entirely inelegant snort crossed with a yelp and landed on top of the hockey player. She glared down at the smirking Quinn.

"I was coming out to see if you were okay because it was certainly not my intention to startle you to the extent you tripped over your own clown sized feet Gretzky!"

A delicate blonde eyebrow arched and although Quinn was going to try her best to not be such an annoying ass to the brunette skater, this opportunity was just too good to miss so with her eyebrow still arched she glanced pointedly at Rachel's hands which had landed (purely coincidentally, she was sure) on Quinn's chest.

"You sure that's all you came out here for Princess?"

The brunettes eyes widened and she gave another yelp as she abruptly pulled her hands off of the hockey player and placed them either side of her head before narrowing her eyes.

"You have nothing under your shirt that I'm interested in, believe me!"

The words cut a bit more deeply than they should and Quinn found herself looking away to try and mask the feeling, she knew from things Santana had yelled at her in the heat of arguments that her eyes revealed too much of her feelings, so she wanted to keep them out of Rachel's line of sight. She sighed and slid herself out from under the diva smoothly, once on her feet she offered her hand and muttered.

"I know…it's called a joke, sorry, I'll try and lighten up on them I know you don't like me making jokes, especially lewd ones…or was it crude? one or the other."

She pulled a face as she spoke to convey thought and amusement, mild and safe amusement that is, as she offered her hand again. She hoped if she kept her comments light enough Rachel wouldn't think too much about her unusual reaction. For her part Rachel was confused,…confused as to why Quinn had backed away from their usual back and forth banter and confused as to why the lack of that teasing conversation left her feeling empty, sad…and some other emotion she couldn't define. She accepted the calloused hand cautiously but all Quinn did was pull her upright gently and smoothly before she sighed and skated closer holding her arms out.

"Come on, let me carry you back over, as amusing as it is to see someone as graceful as you fall over on the ice in ludicrous footwear I don't want you getting damaged or Coach Schu will kill me."

Rachel rolled her eyes but she also accepted the 'lift' and as she let herself fall into Quinn's arms she hated and yet loved the way she fit there. With Finn she always felt too delicate, like he could break her at any moment with his huge frame and slab of meat hands….when Quinn held her however, they just seemed to fit naturally, like they were meant to be together…as skaters! She quickly amended her thoughts before her brain fell into the gutter. However much she tried to convince herself it was a dancing partnership only she couldn't deny that she hadn't been able to get the hockey player out of her head for the whole half a day Finn had been with her. When he took her hand she just felt herself automatically comparing it to Quinn's rougher, yet ironically more delicate ones. When he hugged her or put an arm round her it no longer felt right…it felt ungainly, too much and suffocating rather than comforting.

As she tried not to listen to the thudding of the hockey players still slightly elevated heart rate after her dance, she reminded herself yet again that it was just because she was spending so much time with Quinn. They were skaters and more importantly they were skating partners and the fact they fit together so well was down to their intense training. The fact that she had never felt quite so right or quite so safe with any of her other numerous skating partners was a fact she was trying her hardest to ignore. Because if she stopped ignoring it and actually looked at why she felt the way she did around Quinn, why she could never get the irritating, cocky, admittedly charming and yes if she were forced to admit it, devastatingly attractive hockey player out of her mind…then everything would change, she could gain everything or she could loose everything and the gamble was just too high. Rachel had no poker face so it was better she just didn't enter the game, she had Finn, her fathers thought he was okay and she had a new and potentially amazing skating partner…that would have to do.

"Well, thank you for the lift, admittedly getting back across the ice safely didn't cross my mind when I saw you fall."

Quinn smiled an almost genuine smile as she set Rachel down on the edge of the rink by the comfy corner.

"You almost make it sound like you were concerned about my wellbeing there Princess, wouldn't that be against your rules or something."

It should have been a barb, a stinging teasing comment and that was what Rachel expected it to be, she was therefore completely taken off guard when she realised the tone was actually joking as opposed to mocking and maybe, just maybe there was a hint of…hope in it? Clearing her throat, Rachel found herself fighting a smile as she rolled her eyes without malice.

"Well, it isn't always my fault that you fall over but I realised as soon as I spoke that you probably hadn't seen me thanks to the black dressing gown I had on…so this time I felt slightly responsible."

Without the biting sarcasm in the conversation Quinn found herself relaxing slightly and suddenly her mom's advice about letting herself just be herself didn't seem so difficult, she ran a hand through her hair and smiled slightly.

"Well yeah, you did sort of take me off guard I assumed you would be uh…ya know otherwise occupied with…Flint?"

Rachel automatically corrected Quinn.

"Finn."

The hockey player gave a half shrug and mentally high fived herself, thanking Ross Geller for that subtle piece of one up manship.

"Yeah that guy, seemed like he was settled in for the weekend and it's only like five on a Sunday evening so I figured you guys would be like…playing chess or something."

Rachel couldn't help herself as she snorted in amusement at the thought of Finn playing chess, however, revealing the reason for her amusement to Quinn was a bit too close to picking sides in her mind so she settled for a small smile and shake of her head.

"Chess isn't really Finn's game…he had to go back the evening of the day he arrived unfortunately. Business calls and all that."

She tried to keep her tone light but Quinn was way too street smart to fall for the act and she found herself taking a few steps closer, a part of her wanted to reach out and she did in fact lift her arm…and then realised she had no idea what to do with it, so lightly buddy punched the bemused diva's shoulder and cleared her throat before saying.

"That sucks…I mean Schu was gone so what did you do, I mean you were rattling around in the house on your own?"

Rachel was touched by the understanding in the hockey players voice, and unnerved by it but she shrugged nonchalantly as if it was no big thing and forced a smile.

"I'm used to it, my dad's work an awful lot. I sometimes think it amazes even them quite how successful the business became, like at heart they're still waiting to wake up and realise it's all a dream and we live somewhere suburban but normal. Finn works in England so I hardly see him but we make it work."

Quinn bit her tongue, she wanted to say so much, most of it along the lines of how if her fathers owned an international company and all why Finn couldn't pressure them into letting him stay in the states with the girl he was meant to love, and so she instead tried to think of something safe to reply to that. She could see out of the corner of her eye that Rachel was looking at her quizzically so she let the first thing out of her mouth uncensored in panic.

"You're braver than me then."

Dark eyebrows shot up in surprise at that admission and the hockey player chewed on her lower lip in a very, very rare display of nervousness. Rachel took a moment to filter the comment and she thought carefully about how to reply, she had after all been expecting another attack on Finn and so had queued up in her mind a lot of counter arguments on that point and that point alone. Which as it turned out, were to be completely superfluous as the blonde had surprised her yet again that night and the diva wondered idly what exactly had happened on Quinn's journey home.

"How do you come to that conclusion?"

Rubbing the back of her neck absentmindedly with one hand Quinn figured she had been honest so far so why stop now and she gave a little half shrug accompanying it with a shy smile as she confessed.

"Ever since that individual the law refers to as my father gave me to that mobster to save his life, silent rooms, especially in big houses scare me a little. The guy he gave me to had a huge house set back in some forest land kinda like this and I had a room on one side of it that I couldn't get in and out of unless he unlocked it. Place was always full of stuff I wont go into but…randomly you'd heard people crying, screaming, gunshots and arguing…so whenever I'm somewhere too quiet it…kinda scares me."

She'd started off trying to keep it low key, as if it didn't bother her, amusing even…but halfway through she knew she couldn't keep it up and so she'd dropped the act entirely and her tone changed accordingly, dropping until she sounded like the scared ten year old kid she'd been when she'd been in that house, when she finished her hands were in her pockets and she tried a half smile.

"So…to me it is brave, how you stay in that house all the time on your own. I mean I know it's different cos it's like your home and not some strangers but…well, ya know."

She trailed off and looked down already cursing herself mentally for being such a fuckwit when she felt a hand on her arm, swallowing slightly she looked up expecting to see…disgust maybe? Or worse, pity, but what she saw almost took her breath away. Rachel was smiling at her, a small weak smile but it was genuine and she let out a breath before admitting to the hockey player in a weary voice.

"I hate it…being in there alone, I jump at every sound and it just feels so cold. There's no life in the place with only me there, even when I try and light all the fires and turn the TV on it's still just empty and now I know that my dad's aren't making it back for Thanksgiving I'm dreading the one holiday I used to love…you know, the one about families."

Quinn was speechless at this point, at the quiet admission of a weakness, after all the way Rachel Berry carried herself you would think the little diva was ten foot tall and bullet proof, but the way she had quietly revealed that little piece of information to the hockey player told a very different story. Now Quinn Fabray had held many expensive and precious and sometimes illegal things in her life, from a Colt 45 supposedly owned by Al Capone himself to an Egyptian statue of Ra the sun god that had been one hundred percent genuine, and yet nothing, not one of those things were as precious in her mind as the whispered words Rachel had just given her and she swallowed for a moment before blurting.

"!"

The petite skater blinked at the light speed sentence and opened her mouth to say something before realising she had no idea what on earth the hockey player had just said! She cleared her throat and with a small smile asked gently.

"Um would you mind repeating that, because no offence Quinn but I think that sentence just made the Kessel run in record time."

Forgetting for a moment what she had just asked, the hockey player grinned widely and looked at Rachel with newfound respect.

"Wow did Rachel 'Princess' Berry just make a Star Wars reference and address me by my given name in the same sentence."

Rachel rolled her eyes good naturedly, despite the teasing words of her blonde counterpart she knew that this was honest and possibly slightly admiring banter so she just smirked back and half shrugged,

"I do know your name you know, we do after all spend more time together than most married couples…and of course I have seen Star Wars ,I may be, as you seem to think, a Princess but I'm also not dead. Now, going back to what you said…?"

Quinn chuckled and held up her hands in the universal sign of surrender before she took a deep breath, and trying to make it seem perfectly natural she issued her invitation again. She was nervous, real nervous, because she suddenly realised that if Rachel refused the invitation it would devastate her…but she'd already issued it and she was fucked if a little case of last minute nerves were going to put her off now, especially if there was a chance she might agree.

"I said, well asked to be more accurate, but I guess that's not the thing to focus on but um…well, why don't you come to thanksgiving dinner at my house? I mean my sister Santana is a restaurant quality chef and I'm not talking diner food I'm talking real five star stuff and my brother Dave is like the nicest guy ever. And both my mom's…well I mean you met em, sort of, already and they really go to town for thanksgiving so it's kinda cool, I mean it's not like grand scale wise like yours would be but…"

Laughing gently Rachel reached out and covered Quinn's lips with her forefinger to get her to stop rambling.

"Slow down there Gretzky, that's the most I think I've heard you say in a single breath and you were going kind of purple. If it's okay with your parents I would be honoured to accompany you to your house for thanksgiving dinner."

Quinn wanted to reply, she really did but her lips were tingling where the diva's forefinger rested lightly on them and she swallowed ever so slightly wondering what the polite thing to do was. She was pretty sure it didn't involve licking or perhaps nibbling on the end of the digit in question so she quickly swallowed that idea down and sat on it so it wouldn't rear it's ugly head again. At the same time Rachel realised her instinctive gesture had put them in an oddly intimate position and she found herself in the same precarious position, the result being they stood there in an odd tableaux for a long moment.

Eventually the diva removed her hand and Quinn opened her mouth but then closed it and nodded with a smile. She knew that her mom's would be happy Rachel was coming, one more mouth to feed was never unusual in their house and she doubted that Rachel would be the only extra guest at the table. Actually, as she thought about it…her mom's might be a little too happy for Rachel to be there and she mentally face palmed and hoped to Hell (pointlessly of course) that her erstwhile family would behave themselves and not try any attempts at matchmaking. Deciding to take the conversation away from the slightly awkward area they had navigated themselves into, the blonde gestured to the open door.

"Um how long were you err…watching, I mean, did you see much of me making an idiot of myself out there?"

She attempted to make a joke of it, as though she were just mucking around with the dancing and didn't care how she had come across. Rachel knew the act for what it was and wondered why no one else ever saw through the hockey players ruses.

"I…actually heard someone in the rink and wondered if coach was back so I came over pretty quick and I saw you getting ready. You're really good Quinn, you shouldn't question yourself so much or make light of it. I know I tend to come across as a little…"

The diva paused as she looked for the right words and Quinn couldn't help but smile lightly as she ventured.

"Intense…dedicated…high strung?"

Unable to quite fully suffocate the smirk she felt, Rachel begrudgingly allowed the hockey player a smile for those options and then tilted her head to one side and sighed.

"Any one of those would do, but my point, and yes I do have one! Was that you have been working really hard, putting in all of your effort and sometimes I wonder why? Not that I'm complaining, because I am after all benefiting from you being so dedicated but I put you through a lot of…intense, shall we say, pressure and you don't strike me as the type of person who would normally put up with that sort of attitude."

Quinn ran a hand through her hair and after a moment to think about all the things she could say, ranging from joking to evasive to half truth to full truth she smiled slightly and glanced to the door leading to the Spencer Mansion.

"How about…we go sit down with a hot drink before I answer that question as it's kind of a long story."

Blinking in surprise for yet a third time that evening the little diva smiled in genuine pleasure and nodded.

"I think that can be arranged yes, as long as you like hot chocolate because I tend to make it by the vat full, I'm not a fan of coffee or tea as they have quite a high caffeine content but chocolate on the other hand I am addicted to."

Quinn grinned back just as happy as Rachel and she unlaced her skates hurriedly, swapping them for her battered running shoes and chatting as she did so.

"Not a problem there, I have a serious sweet tooth, I often thank god I was born with the sporty gene as well as the sweet tooth gene because otherwise I would be the size of a house and have dentures."

Rachel laughed outright and nodded her head as she agreed that she too would most certainly have suffered the same fate. As they moved into the house the blonde couldn't help but swallow nervously out of instinct and she was glad that the diva either didn't notice or chose not to mention that she had. Quinn had only been in the house once before when she had had her trial session that had nearly ended her short career in figure skating, then, Leroy had been there as well as coach Schu and Rachel and it had seemed big but alive, with Rachel and her it seemed cavernous. It was obvious that Rachel felt it too as they wordlessly decided to stay in the kitchen which was warm and cosy from the open fire and the old fashioned Aga.

Attached to the kitchen was a mini den with large plump sofas and chairs that you almost sunk into and a small entertainment centre, obviously it was meant for kitchen staff when they hosted parties but judging by the books and collection of mugs, dishes and cutlery on the side, it was where Rachel spent most of her time. After they were settled in with a hot chocolate that was almost sinfully rich and smooth, Rachel lapsed into silence for a moment and Quinn toyed idly with her shirt cuff as she wondered how to start this conversation. She was trying like hell to string together a sentence that wouldn't seem too clichéd and failing dismally, luckily Rachel broke the silence by smiling wryly and glancing at the hockey player.

"This is weird, we've spent the last two months learning how to fling each other around on the ice safely and now…well, now, we seem to be having difficulty just talking to each other."

She barked a small laugh as she finished and Quinn found herself chuckling along as she nodded. Letting out a sigh she rubbed the back of her neck.

"I know, I guess it doesn't help that I seem to be a bit of an asshole most of the time. I'm trying my best not to do that anymore but it's kinda difficult to change the habits of a lifetime."

Scooping some of the whipped cream off of the top of her drink, Rachel sucked her cream topped finger thoughtfully and then lowering it from her mouth she sighed again and lay a hand on the blondes forearm.

"I know this is probably none of my business but…is it because of, um, your father and stuff that you don't let people get close?"

Shit, the question she always dreaded, the one that was the reason behind her keeping people at arms length just as the brunette suggested she did. But it was because she hated having to explain the mess that was her life, it was easier when people just regarded her as an asshole, because assholes were just a fact of life and no one wanted to figure them out. But if you found out that someone just acted like an asshole then you wanted to know why, you needed to know more and so you dug and you dug until you found out what motivated them to act that way. Normally she tried her best to avoid any kind of conversation that revealed anything about herself but she had already revealed more to Rachel than she had to even her mothers. The difference was…she wanted Rachel to know her, all of her, even the bad stuff and so she took a deep breath and nodded.

"It's part of it, yeah…I mean it sounds worse than it probably was, my mom was nice enough before she went but she just…wasn't interested in a kid I guess and dad may have been able to make more of himself if not for the gambling. The worst bit was living with Mr Black, if that was even his name, it's just what I called him because he never told me otherwise and that was what his…lackeys called him."

Rachel shifted, chewing on her lower lip in concern as she wondered what to say or even if she should say anything, Quinn solved the dilemma for her by turning to her and smiling faintly.

"It's okay…I mean I got my mom's now and although San and me argue all the time we are as close as if we had been born into the same family. I'm not lonely it's just that getting involved with anyone romantically has always frightened me. So yeah, it is sort of part of why I act like an ass. As to your question as to why I put up with your…um intense attitude there's kinda two answers to that, it started out as being one reason and now I have two."

The little diva's eyebrows drew down together in confusion as she regarded the hockey player and she took more of the whipped cream off the top of the hot chocolate and then inclined her head for Quinn to continue. The blonde fiddled with her own drink and seemed on the verge of either leaving or combusting before she finally let out an exasperated breath and let her head fall onto the sofa's back so she was staring up at the ceiling as she explained how her mom had been shot on duty and how she and her siblings were trying to get the money together for the operation. Rachel listened with a hundred percent of her attention and when Quinn stopped and drained the last of her drink the diva finally swallowed and without warning took the mug from the blondes hand and set it on the table. Before Quinn could say anything else, she found herself wrapped in an embrace she had dreamed of but never thought would happen, never thought she actually deserved. For a moment, she froze in shock then she let herself relax as she wanted to, closing her eyes she let Rachel rest her forehead on her shoulder and wrapped her arms round the little skaters neck. She inhaled lightly and let the scent of Rachel's shampoo mixed with the faint trace of cinnamon and nutmeg from the hot chocolate play over her senses before smiling softly.

"What's this for…not that I'm complaining!"

After holding the hockey player close for a long time Rachel pulled back far enough to look her in the eye and wondered why she had never looked this deeply into her skating partner before. The hazel eyes she was looking into now were so open and honest that she wondered how anyone had ever fallen for the veneer of a character the hockey player had constructed for herself. Swallowing the urge to pull the blonde into her arms again she smiled and let out a breath as she found herself tucking a strand of blonde hair behind the other woman's ear with one hand while the other held one of the hockey players slightly larger ones.

"I think that you spend a long time telling yourself that you aren't worth much and that you don't deserve much but you never mention the stuff you do that surpasses selfless. You and your siblings have given up your own dreams and lives and put them on hold to try and help your mom. And you haven't even told her what you're doing, you've made excuses so she doesn't ask, but it's one of the most selfless things I have heard of."

Quinn flushed bright red and rubbed the back of her neck self consciously.

"I guess I don't think of it like that, like it being a good or grand thing…it's sort of the only thing, she loved being a cop and she was a damn good one, dedicated…she brought closure to people, to families who had given up hope of ever receiving answers, now that's an amazing woman. Me, all I do is play hockey and play and sell videogames, nothing special about that."

She ended with a shrug and Rachel sighed as she tried to get her point across without getting exasperated.

"That's just why it's such a big deal…you did it without thinking how wonderful it was, you are much more than you give yourself credit for Quinn. And as for what you did, that's how you earned money but it isn't who you are."

Frowning, the hockey player rubbed her neck again and ventured a reply.

"Um…okay so what am I then?"

Rachel smiled and then squeezed Quinn's hand lightly.

"You are whatever you want to be, some people get paid for a job and as high pressure as that job may be it's just a means to an end but it isn't who they are. What makes you feel alive Quinn!"

The blonde hockey player smiled faintly…until an hour or so ago she would have said she didn't know but now she did and although it went against the tough image she had spent years in constructing she couldn't deny that it was true.

"This…skating, figure skating with you to be precise. I know I could be considered biased but as far as I'm concerned we are the perfect team when we're on the ice, we move well together, we seem to hear the same rhythm in our heads and I don't just mean the rhythm in the music you know?"

Rachel nodded enthusiastically with a smile and then bit her lower lip shyly.

"Yes, I know exactly what you mean, I didn't want to say anything before but I feel it too, we're good together Quinn Fabray."

The hockey player smiled happily and her hazel eyes twinkled, the warm yellow's oranges and red's from the fire reflecting off of them and almost entrancing the little brunette. Quinn picked up her newly refilled mug of chocolate and scooping a bit of cream from the top she couldn't help but swipe the very tip of the diva's nose with it before grinning and agreeing.

"I think, Rachel Berry, that you may very well be right!"

They both dissolved into giggles as they continued to talk openly with each other about everything from book's to politics to soap operas, all the while, and though neither of them noticed it (or chose not to) they kept their hands linked together and both held on to the thought that the upcoming thanksgiving celebrations may well be the best they had yet experienced.

Phew managed to squeeze a chapter of this out before the grand visit! Hurrah for being crazy and on half hours…high five?…anyone?…hooooookay then, moving swiftly onwards, I hope you like and yes the next chapter will be the thanksgiving itself with lots of mushy goodness and family interaction and a very definite step forwards in their relationship…and then their first competition and Quinn's exposure to the world of competitive ice dancing. I also have a cracking second part to Cheerio's and Froot Loops all ready to go, lots of angst mixed with love and of course my attempt at some smut!

And I hated the first time episode of glee, in fact I may have thrown up a little in my mouth though I was glad to see Karofsky again, I love him so much! Lol okay drop me a line and if anyone has anything they may like to see in this or any of my other fic's please do let me know…love to you all! XXX