Breakfast that morning was a very awkward affair right from the beginning when Sirius strolled into the kitchen wearing his usual muggle clothes: his leather jacket, charcoal shirt and black slacks low enough for his maroon boxers to peek out at the waistband. That – and merely being in his disgraceful presence – had his mother cursing him with just about every negative thought and insult under the sun.

Regulus wasn't any better either; his brother had clearly been replaying last night's encounter in his mind, because his smoke grey eyes were transfixed on him as if willing for him to die then and there. Rather than scare him which was obviously little Reg's intention, it amused Sirius to no end and he teasingly granted him a few winks for his effort.

"A+ for effort darling, no doubt about it," Sirius mouthed to him, smirking very smugly the more pissed off Regulus became. "It's a shame you're about as scary as a six year old girl with pigtails." He shook with silent laughter at his own jab and made a show of winding his middle finger up at him, laughing even more when Regulus pushed his bowl of porridge away from him and crossed his arms in a raging strop.

Still chuckling under his breath, Sirius returned his attentions to his own porridge, which was a damn sight different to his brother's. Where Regulus's looked sweet, sugary and smooth textured, his was so watery that it was practically milk with the way it dripped from his spoon and splashed back in the bowl with a plop that made him heave. Not only that, he was sure Kreacher had 'accidentally' poured half the salt shaker into it as well, causing him to shiver involuntarily from the bone each time the bitter spoon touched his lips.

Accident my arse.

"Prick," Sirius muttered.

Regulus' eyes rose to meet his with loathing and Walburga snapped her head in his direction, in very much the same way. "I'm sorry? Did you say something?"

"Yeah. Porridge is top – bloody – notch," he said through quick chews. If they had caught the obvious sarcasm in his voice, no one commented on it.

Unlike Reg, Sirius was forced to eat this shit that was apparently (but really wasn't) food.

And he wasn't prepared to.

"Where's Kreacher? I must congratulate him on his talent to make meals more nauseating than his face," he lightly remarked, and stood abruptly from his chair before his mother forced him to remain seated. "Goodbye you miserable bunch of sods!" he exclaimed merrily, and strolled away with natural swagger you couldn't imitate.

"Don't…you… dare!" Mrs. Black hissed through gritted teeth. Her near black eyes watched him leave the table and saunter down the hallway with a deathly glint so frightening it was nightmare material. "You walk out that door and you are going to regret ever having left with the pain I will inflict upon you. Mark – my - words."

Sirius barked a laugh at her poor threat and waved a fleeting goodbye over his shoulder before opening the door. He was gone with a slam and after his departure silence followed. Kreacher broke it a minute later when he appeared with a crack.

"Mistress, mistress!" he croaked, his voice high with happiness, "the mud blood is in pantry, she eating stale food! She look sick already! She going to die!" he sounded so gleeful that a ghost of a smile came and passed on Walburga's face.

"Finally, some good news," she drawled. "It is expected of course. The mud blood has no other choice but to do as I say. Her role on earth is so powerless that I may as well make use of her to dispose of waste food, and then eventually dispose of her," she casually added with a cackle her niece would be proud of. "It shall be interesting to see how many fish she will get through before she dies. I daresay one will be enough to finish her off."

"I predict she will be dead within the first bite," Regulus declared with a little laugh, and his mother looked at him fondly before laughing along. It took mere seconds and all three of them were laughing - the house elf along with them, his delighted wheezes of breath so loud that it echoed and so heavy it would have steamed ten mirrors with condensation.

In her dark, damp and dingy cupboard misty with silhouettes of high shelves with rotting food, Hermione looked up from where she lay and raised her chin to the air, listening to the chilling sound. It rang in her ears like an on-going alarm, and she could sense the elation and pure bliss they were feeling, knowing that they were laughing because she was slowly being tortured, and laughing harder because they all knew that Sirius had no idea.

She wasn't naïve enough to think he wouldn't turn into an absolute madman when he found out. He would. He hadn't tried to hide his protectiveness over her, and going by his reaction to her broken wrist when he had only just met her, now that he knew her well he was going to be knocking things over, tearing things in his path senselessly without a care in the world when he discovered that his mother was slowly but surely killing her.

But she knew that she wasn't going to die, and she knew that he wasn't going to either, because in her time they were both still alive, still arguing, still staying up late together just like they were in this time. And for that reason, she didn't want him to come to her rescue. She could handle herself - quite comfortably at that. She didn't want – or need – a knight in shining armour as she had repeatedly told him. Though of course, when she had said those words to him, being Sirius, he had paid about as much attention to her as he did to Snape.

None.

Though she didn't want him to help her in any way and make things worse with his family - it seemed inevitable he would, so the best (and only) conciliation she could think of was to hope to the heavens that he wouldn't find out, then that way no one would get hurt… apart from her of course.


Sirius had taken the Knight bus into Diagon Alley and stood, casually leaning his back against the window of Florean Fortescue's Ice Cream Parlour as he waited for his best friend. He'd spotted a number of people in his year shopping in the sun, including Frank Longbottom with his parents browsing in Quality Quidditch Supplies, one his fellow Gryffindor mates and Marlene McKinnon, also a Gryffindor with shiny black hair and a tall, slender frame waiting under a brightly coloured umbrella outside a café. She had a knack for Arithmacy, as well as a knack for kissing with her eyes open; something he had discovered the month before when they shared a lip-lock in the library.

He gave her lopsided grin and wink as she past him, but didn't go over to chat. He had become too distracted with a familiar head of ruffled jet black hair and round glasses. Seeing him approaching, Sirius's little smirk grew wide, even more so after catching the clothes he was wearing - or rather, the clothes that he wasn't wearing.

James Potter - class joker, man's man, ladies man, man about town - was topless, wearing only black jeans with a white polo flung over his shoulder.

And, like Sirius, he flashed the Diagon Alley shoppers a cheeky preview of his silk black boxers peeking over the top. If Sirius didn't know him, he would've thought the boy had just rolled out of bed his hair was sticking up – out - everywhere so much. The pale complexion of his chest was even paler in the sunshine, and yet he was smirking charmingly, totally blind to the fact he resembled a ghost. He seemed smitten with the idea he had it all going for him.

"Lily said she was meeting Marlene here today," he grinned, shrugging coolly. The explanation said it all.

Sirius took one look at him and barked with laughter. "You're a handsome bloke Prongs. I guarantee old ladies with walking sticks will be eyeing you up, but Evans on the other hand…" he took a shaky breath in, as if trying to work out the best way to tell him. "Look, I've got to break it to you mate: Lily ain't loving the Potter Package."

James laughed and seized him by the shoulders, shaking him. "She will one day Pads, she will one day!" they had had this conversation many times before. "What's not to love about the Potter Package?" he was talking animatedly and used his fingers to count his many attributes. "I'm most skilful on a broom, I'm practically drowning in money, I'm really nice – I always steal cakes and muffins from the kitchens for Gryffindor people don't I?" Sirius rolled his eyes amusedly and agreed yes he did. "I got more O's in my OWLS than Snivellus has got friends, I've got perfect looks even Prince bloody Charming couldn't get-"

"You're really modest," Sirius chipped in, a shit-eating grin on his lips. James agreed whole-heartedly and counted off another finger on his hand and then heard what he said. "What-? OI!"

Sirius roared with laughter and dived left to avoid a punch. However he couldn't avoid the rugby tackle and they ended up on a heap on the floor, rolling on top of each other play fighting like a pair of six year olds. Eventually – after another five minutes of punches and hair pulls – they heaved themselves up off the floor, stretched and smiled at one another in thanks for good bit of manly fighting.

Then they grabbed each other and pulled in for a long, tight, brotherly reunion hug.

"I've missed you man," James sighed, giving him a thump on the back.

"I've missed you too sweetheart. I've cried every night, it's been awful," Sirius replied with a squeaky high voice and an audible sniff. He received another smack.

They started walking side by side heading automatically for Quality Quidditch Supplies. "How is everything at the mad house? Walburga still going through her menopause?"

Sirius grinned. The two of them had always put down Mrs Black's horrific moods to that stage in a woman's life where she hits fifty, looks in the mirror and realises that they're no longer young and beautiful but old, grumpy and in the case of Sirius's mum - a spiteful bitch. He chuckled and pushed a hand through his silky locks, "She's never come bloody off her menopause James. She's been on it her whole life, because she's been a heartless woman her whole life. But, apart from her and Kreacher – the slimy git… its bearable now. My dad's still in Paris for that business thing, he should be back in a few days, so it's not too bad."

James glanced sideways at him and stopped walking. "Bearable? Not too bad?" he looked stunned. "Are you going to stay there?"

Sirius glanced amusedly back at him and pointed to a girl up the street sitting out on a table outside a café. She had long glossy red hair, and was wearing green strappy top that matched her eyes. "Evans is there mate," he drawled, giving him a wink and a gloating smirk. James forgot he had ever asked him question and practically galloped over to her.

She wasn't alone.

"Ah, so you were meeting up with Evans McKinnon," Sirius said, plopping himself down next to her with a lazy arrogance. James was on the other side of him, having taken the chair next to Lily and edged himself as close to her as possible.

"Yep," she said, smiling as she observed his cool character. "I should've guessed you were meeting James." She and Lily exchanged grins like they had remembered something. "Never without one another are you?"

"I'm thinking we have a bit of bro-mance going on," Lily observed, nodding her head teasingly.

"Yeah we're gay," Sirius nodded back, smiling charmingly and looking dashing. "So since we're not attracted to women whatsoever, can we feel your tits?"

The girls mouths dropped, somewhere between amusement and being damn right offended. Though they seemed more offended. James roared with laughter, slapping his knee and banging the table, which seemed to humiliate them further. No longer amused, they kept glancing to James's laughing, to Sirius's smirking and exchanging disgusted looks that spoke the words 'oh my goodness! What twats!'

"He's joking," James managed to choke out, "he's bloody joking. Just a joke ay Pa – Sirius?" He smacked him on the arm when he remained silent. "You didn't mean to offend these beautiful ladies did you?"

"Not to offend," he confirmed cheerfully, looking between Lily and Marlene's tremendously pissed off faces and rolling his eyes dramatically. "For the love of merlin I was being nice! You two couldn't spot a compliment if it walked up to you and-"

"Groped your breasts," James added with a twinkle in his eye. Sirius barked with laughter this time, patting his mate on the back as if congratulating him for saying a cracking joke.

"I do love a girl with a nice pair of tits," Sirius commented lightly and James whole heartedly agreed, nodding to Lily and murmuring that hers were "lovely, just lovely".

Lily's eyes flashed menacingly and she clenched her jaw like she was hugely trying to contain her anger. It was common news among the Hogwarts students that Lily Evans was not one to cross, and this was why.

"You two unbelievable," she snapped, glaring at James. "You think you're so flipping hilarious don't you? Think you can stroll around school thinking you own the place, stroll around here thinking you own the place, wearing your shirt off like you think you're God's bloody gift…"

Having heard the same argument between Lily and James for years, Sirius sighed heavily and stole the café menu from Marlene's hands and examined it, muttering under his breath how terrible it was that they didn't have steak.

"She's talking to you as well Sirius," Marlene said in mounting annoyance. "Or doesn't it apply to you now? Actually, I think you beat James for the prize of most arrogant man on planet Earth, so you should be fucking listening!"

Sirius lowered the menu to the table, looking at her with mild surprise. "What's with the language? It was a joke! Oh for fu-" he cut himself off abruptly to avoid hypocrisy and smiled at her. She didn't smile back. "Anyway, I'm going to get some fish and chips," he announced, clapping his hands together and looking round for a waiter. "What's everyone having? I'll pay."

"Don't change the subject," she hissed. "Why do you have to be so crude? It's disgusting. Admit you're both dickheads and we'll move on, and you can pay for our meals and then go away."

Sirius stared at her with his mouth agape. "You're over reacting so much it's unreal," he said, shaking his head in disbelief and looking to James for back up and finding that Lily was having the same argument with him.

"I don't think I am," Marlene bit back. "Actually, I don't think you can ever be nice to a girl without using her. I don't think you care about any girls either. You use every girl you've ever known! We kissed last month and yet you call me 'McKinnon'!" she exclaimed hysterically, "I mean what the hell is wrong with you?"

Sirius crossed his arms over his chest and dropped his eyes to the table. It took a lot for him to trust someone, to care deeply for someone, but Marlene was wrong. He cared for one girl. Unconditionally.

"You're wrong," he muttered, so quietly she snapped a 'what?' in response.

His voice was soft as he remembered how she felt in his arms the night before; laughing that warm throaty laugh he loved, strands of hair falling into her eyes in that innocently sexy way that only she could pull off. His fingers twitched.

"You're wrong," he said again, and stood up. "Sorry if I upset you… Marlene."

Although he could see she was trying not to, she couldn't stop the little smile.

James squinted behind his glasses, having only noticed Sirius get up from the table because of five minutes heated bickering with Lily. It was all coming from her of course. He didn't care two shits if she was cursing him to the sun and back. He just sat there, gazing longingly at her lips as they moved.

"Pad- Sirius? Where are you off to mate?"

Sirius ran a hand through his hair absently. For the first time in his life, he wanted to go home. He wanted nothing more.

"I'm going to get some fudge from Honeydukes then I'm going to get back," he said, rummaging in his jacket pocket to check he had change.

James stared from Lily to Sirius and back again. "But we've only just got here Sirius," he laughed, but his eyes widened in warning, "we're eating lunch with Evans and McKinnon. You're paying remember?" He nodded eagerly, as if to encourage his best mate to do the same.

Sirius merely grinned and shook his head.

"Stay here with the ladies yeah? They won't bite," he chuckled, looking from Lily to Marlene and sincerely hoping they wouldn't. "Anyway, I'll love you and leave you; I really have got to get home."

He winked at the girls and pulled an over dramatic salute to James before swinging around and jogging towards Honeydukes, cutting through the busy crowds of shoppers murmuring his apologies. The quicker he got home the better.

"OI!" someone shouted.

Sirius skidded to a halt, his hand flying to his hair and ruffling it warily. Perhaps it was too much of a stretch to leave like that with no explanation. He should have expected him to run after him. "Yeah James?"

He didn't turn around to look at him, he could hear his ragged breaths clearly enough to know it was him.

"What are you doing?" he panted, "why are you going home? I had to leave Lily to come after you!"

"I told you to stay with her," he reminded him lowly. "The amount you talk about her, I thought you'd grab at an opportunity where you could spend time with her, even if it was only for a minute." At his own words Sirius blinked and, in a second, saw an image of her imprinted behind his eyelids, standing on a chair polishing bookshelves.

It didn't help him by any means. It was only another reminder to hurry up, because she was at home, waiting for him, and James was being stubborn as always and not getting the bloody hint.

"I would go back to her now, but I want to know why you're acting so weirdly! There's something you're not telling me," he said. There was a glitch of hurt in his voice that made Sirius feel guilty. "Why are you going home? You hate everything about the place!"

Sirius shrugged and, when he remained silent and with his back to him, James was gawping and spluttering. "You can't Sirius - you hate it mate! You're mum's a horrible bitch you said it yourself! You always say it!"

A woman carrying a young infant shot him an appalled look as she passed by, and James hastily apologised before staring back at Sirius, who – though his face was hidden, his shaking body was enough to know that he was chuckling.

He sensed James's stubborn lack of amusement and sobered up. "I know," he said with a sigh. "I know she is."

"Well then. I've already told my dad that you're coming to live with us as soon as you're seventeen and he agreed!"

Sirius turned around. "You know if it was that simple I would move tomorrow," he said, looking him straight in the face and hoping he'd understand. They hardly ever disagreed. Shoppers started to look at them and he lowered his voice. "But it's not simple anymore. You know why. Before it was just me, now it's…"

He broke off and James's eyes widened in sudden realisation.

"The girl?"

Sirius looked up at him, rubbing his neck in a mixture of worry and embarrassment and nodded. "Hermione," he muttered. "Her… her name's Hermione."

They were silent for a minute.

He exhaled loudly and dropped his hand in exasperation. "I can't leave her James. I have to go home and make sure she's okay."

James's blue eyes were set on him in a silent surveying. "Even if it means jeopardising your own happiness to keep her safe?" he asked with a slight frown.

With no hesitation Sirius nodded again and at James's more pronounced frown, he crossed his arms and set him with a knowing look. "Imagine if it was Lily."

James fell quiet and Sirius knew, in that moment, that he completely understood.

He stepped closer to him and slung an arm around his shoulders. "So, what's she like?"

Sirius reciprocated the arm and looked out into the distance of Diagon Alley swarming with people, but only seeing her pushing through the crowd, bare foot and in the white sack dress that she wore. He ached for her – wanted to wish so much that his vision was real – that for a minute, he froze on the spot and stared, mouth open, at this beautiful creature walking towards him with a brilliant smile on her face.

He blinked and glanced sideways at James still waiting.

"Sorry," he smiled guiltily. "Hermione… she's…"

He shook his head. Words failed him.


They were all out when he arrived home, and standing in the porch of a family free house, Sirius's muscles tensed and flexed with barely contained excitement. He was going to be able spend some time with her. Just the two of them in the Black family house. He thought the night before and how he cuddled her and smiled slightly, making a mental note to cuddle her for longer the moment he laid eyes on her. Pumping with adrenalin he tore up the stairs, taking them three at a time and twirled round the banister when he reached the top landing.

"Mione, where are you?" he shouted. "No one's home, I can give you and exclusive tour of my bedroom, or we can sunbathe in the garden or I can teach how to waltz in the kitchen or – or we can just chat in the library!"

He wanted to do everything and nothing with her.

He kicked open all the bedroom doors and hurried inside them, even falling to his knees to check under the beds. "Mione!"

Frown lines crinkled his forehead as he pushed back out the bedroom and down the stairs. "Answer me," he muttered angrily under his breath, "why isn't she answering me?"

He charged to the door under the stairs and banged hurriedly against it. "Hermione! Open up love it's me!" silence followed and Sirius swallowed hard, fear and nerves squirming his insides. He shoved his body against the door desperately. "Please Hermione."

In the pantry swallowed up in the darkness, her hair damp, her eyes damp, her body damp with sick she pushed herself slowly into a sitting position as she heard someone call her name. Maybe she was had only imagined it and she was going crazy already…

"HERMIONE!"

"Sirius?" she rose to her feet, hand clamped to her mouth to stop throwing up. The stench was awful. A mixture between rotting fish and eggs and it only got worse. She stepped hesitantly towards the pantry door trying to push the thought to the back of her mind. "Sirius is that you?"

In the kitchen, Sirius's ears pricked up, his canine sense of hearing telling him that sounds were coming from the kitchen. Every second, every minute that ticked by was closer to his family coming home, which meant less time spent with her. Eyes wide and desperate, he darted into the kitchen, knocking a chair to the floor.

"Hermione?"

"Sirius, over here!" she croaked. "I'm in the pantry!"

He breathed out in relief and hung his head to the ceiling, closing his eyes. "Thank you," he whispered heavenly, "oh thank you."

"Sirius?"

He hastily scurried to the pantry door, and slammed himself against it. "Hermione baby, what are you doing in the pantry? Are you okay? Open the door love, let me see you."

Hermione bit her lip at the tenderness in his voice and stroked the oak wood of the pantry door, because it was the closest thing to him. "I can't," she said. "It's locked."

"Locked-?"

He didn't understand.

"They've locked me in here Sirius," she mumbled on. "I have to eat all the stale food in three days, trays of fish and – and things. Otherwise-" she broke off, thinking it was best to leave out that part. It was bad enough as it was.

He was stiff with silence for a while, his jaw clenched, his fists set tight for a punch. "Otherwise what?" he demanded. He knew what. She could tell by the thick dreading tone as he spoke. Hermione's eyes fell shut.

She repeated the words Kreacher had said to her himself. "She'll kill me anyway."

He did what she expected.

"No! NO! WHO DOES SHE THINK SHE IS-" he pounded on the door, shoving his shoulder against it hard. "I WON'T LET HER! FOR FUCKS SAKE NO! SHE CAN'T DO THIS!" She could hear his rapid swearing as he tried to pry the door open with his fingers. "Hermione, try – try and get out!"

"Stop Sirius, it's no use," she said, tears welled in her eyes, blurring her vision. "Please, stop."

She knew it wouldn't open and he knew it too, but he still carried on trying to pull it off its hinges.

"I can't stop Hermione! I need to see you, she can't – she can't do this to you! I – you – we…"

He kept hitting the door frantically. A tear escaped her eye but she wiped it away. "Sirius-"

"I left for an hour and she's already trying to kill you!" he bellowed, so loud it echoed in the dingy food cupboard. "Whatever you do Hermione, promise me you won't touch that fucking food! Promise me," she said nothing and he hit the door. "Hermione promise me."

"I've already eaten some," she whispered. "I've already got food poisoning."

And like it was all disgustingly planned, she felt the warm, bubbly lava liquid rising up her throat. She tried helplessly to swallow it back but it made her gag. She dropped to her knees and the sound of wet vomit splatted the concrete.

"I'll be okay," she said weakly.

He didn't speak for an age.

When he did, it was chilling to the bone.

"She's not going to hurt you anymore." The tone stated finality and no argument. "You hear me Hermione? Over my dead body."


To all my readers, you have waited so patiently. It's been three months! Hope you've all been good. We're all hitting the flip flops and bikinis here, first bit of sun in England and we go mad haha. Exams are coming up soon so the update may take a while, but reviews will never go unappreciated. You should all know that by now. Grant me an online snog and tell me what you think! I'm not a lesbian. But I want a snog. I'm off to play some frisbee in the sun! So I'll love you and leave you. Remember the snog ;) -sophie x