I just wanted to make one thing clear... I got Robin in here cuz Jackie's had a hard life, and there's no better cure for that than a sissy friend ;) I know myself! LOL XD. And oh, you'll soon meet Jackie's significant other... no, not a romance, a person who means so much for her, who is still alive cuz they saved eachother... ooh! Lots of tension ahead! And NO, soon doesn't mean in this chapter, though you'll hear her speaking 'bout him... I'm talking too much myself. Ready? Set? GO!!!!!!
CHAPTER 5: IT'S THE FALLING IN LOVE
- Smile, lovingbirds! What a cute pose! -it was, and thank God, Janet and her eternal instant camera. She wore a short, black leather micro-mini skirt and a silvery sequined sleeveless T-shirt with a really low cleavage, with black stockings and pancake make-up. It wasn't an outfit for a sixteen-year-old, but it was very much like Janet. She also wore a giant smile (not a smirk, or a grin, an actual happy smile) as she thought she had fooled her brother into believing for an instant they had been caught by papparazzi.
- Guess we can't help falling in love, now do we? -said Michael,and he didn't seem to be complaining at all as Jackie's beautiful, perfect face was graced with the biggest and most luminous smile he'd ever seen, and stared at him with adoration in her eyes. No, he wasn't complaining, for this hadn't been the forced, fugace kiss that only made a joke from his sister. This whole thing had been... real.
And then, the sudden realization of what he just did struck him as lightning, and he was terrified. He had let go, he had felt his own instincts, the sexual part of him that had been conveniently hidden his whole life. Besides his religion, he knew he couldn't let himself go. His scars would always be there to remind him that.
So when Jackie asked him to drive her home (she'd had a few cocktails. She wasn't drunk but she wanted no risks) he feared.
And when she asked him, leaning suggestively against the threshold, to come in with her, he felt his stomach shrunk.
Inside, they started kissing again, but he didn't completely abandon himself to the feeling. And when she held his wrists together, he felt them as an iron plier, and he closed his eyes and saw the man he hated. He felt her hand undressing him -no jacket, no T-shirt, skin against skin (when did she get naked?), his too-marked ribs banged against her soft, hard, hot breasts, ashamed (would she feel his nipples burning?). Then she threw him on the bed (when did they go up?) she got on top (burning, almost painful arousal on him) softly whispering into his ear things he coudn't hear because of his hysteria and his shock, she holding his wrists again, her hand trailing to the button of his jeans, and his heart jumping, beating on his throat, blood pounding in his head, his vision blurred, and that image again (the men, a dark room, too much alcohol, he was only five, for God's sake, let me go, let me go, let me go)
- Let me go!!!
He opened his eyes and realized he had just said that loud. Jackie was all sweaty and seemed scared, her breasts bouncing with her laboured breathing.
- What's wrong? -she asked, true worry in her voice and eyes- Come on, Michael. Tell me -she let go of him and lay by his side, one of her hands lovingly placed onto his chest.
- I... I can't...
- Do you want me to tell you my secret? Maybe you'd feel comfortable then... maybe you'll understand I love you, and that you can trust me... that I'm the only one you can trust, me and Janet. -he nodded silently- All right -she sighed and closed her eyes, in an effort to bring painful memories she had tried to forget again to her mind.- When I was thirteen and I started to have sexual instincts, my uncle started to punish me each night with a whip. He then carefully healed the wounds; he wanted no scars. He tied me and his son, naked, together and then punished both of us. My poor cousin was gay, and he pointed him with a gun and forced him to rape me, he was two years older, and all the while he said "see, this is how it has to be, man and woman, and she's suffering". He maintained that women shouldn't feel any pleasure, that their only propos is to get pregnant. So I ran away from home the very same day Christiane, my twin, died, and took Johann with me. Robin, the man you met today, let us live in his home. He hadn't any reason, but he did it. That's to show you; who's better, the sheep or the goat? And a gay goat to make things better.
- We sheeps have no fault of what some psychos do with our believings. The goat, on the other hand, deserves to save despite his sexuality. Keen? I changed my mind 'bout gays, didn't I? -he forced a smile- My turn, I guess. -he breathed deeply- When I was five (four and a half in fact) I started acting... and not only that. We acted everywhere we could, even in stripteases. And those men... I-I was their toy... Just a cute boy they could... they could...
- Did they rape you? -Jackie asked, hard in believing.
- Yes -he muttered, tears streaming down his face- It was not only them... not them who started it...
- Who did...?
- M-my father -he sobbed at last.
- What?! -she yelled. Now she understood everything. All he didn't want to tell her, the reason why he didn't trust her fully. Not... until today.
- I hate him -he cried helplessly- he abused me, he sold me, he's always taken advantage of me... he forced me to look while he was cheating on my poor mother with those whores! And when I was fifteen -he babbled- he forced me to sleep with two of them "to make me a man".
- Oh, my poor Michael -she said, hugging him tightly.
He cried onto her chest, head between her breasts, while she stroke her hands through his hair soothingly to calm him down, and in a while he stopped shuddering, the noises ceased and his breath returned to normal. Then he fell in a dreamless sleep, and not much longer after she did so.
Well... I just wanted to make a few things crystal clear. I dunno if he was abused, but the part about Joseph making him look and then about when he was 15 IS TRUE!!!! It's in his biography "Michael Jackson the magic and the madness", Rebbie and his brothers spoke about it, believe or not. How could his father do something like that!!!! (MJ's sweetQueenCaroline, does that answer 'bout why was he uncomfortable?) Well, as always R&R!!
