~I cried enough tears to see my own reflection in them.
And then it was clear, I can't deny, I really miss him.
To think that I was wrong, I guess you don't know what you got 'till it's gone
Pain if just a consequence of love, I'm saying sorry for the sake of us.
He wasn't my everything 'till we were nothing and its taking me a lot to say.
But now that he's gone, my heart is missing something.
So it's time I push my pride away.
You are my everything.
I know you're not far but I still can't handle all the distance.
You're traveling with my heart; I hope this is a temporary feeling.
Cause it's too much to bare without you and I know sorry ain't the cure.
If I cross your mind, just know I'm yours.~
In only a matter of days I've become something more, something ruthless, stoic, but I above all I've become a warrior to the highest regard. My fellow Champions revered me and were happy to see me on their team whenever I was summoned for a match. No longer was I a laughing stock, a joke to be here, a worthless Champion to be among greater ones. I've won all my matches since my encounter with Mother in Aiden's room. I had to. I have to. Drawing attention to me is the only way I can draw out Aiden's tormentors or at least getting into a match with Aiden himself. I want them to know I'm coming for their heads.
I walk the halls restlessly awaiting the next match. My patience for these types of things show their quarks as I rake the walls with my claws. Not intentionally, of course because this bad habit gets me scolded by the Summoners. I don't particularly care though. I've asked them to pit me against Aiden in a match along with the one they call "Thresh" but they wouldn't condom my actions nor would they interfere with matchmaking. I just have to wait until it happens, so fuck them and their walls.
I growl lowly but soon feel Shiva's soothing embracing ceasing my anger. She has a passionate disgust for violence, yet her answer to quell the rage, anger, strife, is to freeze it for all eternity. My anguish awoke her and now she wishes nothing more than to help me get Aiden back and steep back into slumber.
A familiar scent wafts by and immediately tense but I don't look. Nasus is behind me but he doesn't speak. I've been avoiding him lately and he is aware of that. It's gotten easier and easier to the point where we no longer talk, make visual contact, or anything. I need to be strong right now for Aiden and for myself. I think he understands that but there is no denying that he isn't hurt my choice. There would be a time for apologies later but not now…if he still wanted me…but right now I have to focus. If he was going to say something I don't give him the chance. I walk ahead until I feel his warm presence no longer behind me.
"He isn't angry at you, Ethan." Shiva materializes next to me and holds my face in her soft hands.
"Why not? I pretty much abandoned him. I turned what we had into nothing." I retort and slip out of her hands.
Shiva shakes her head, her tails dancing in the still air. "Love just doesn't go away Ethan. What I sense from him is worry and hurt. He worries that you are being dangerous and reckless and is hurt that you will not allow him to help you."
"What do you know?" I ask and turn away from her.
"You forget our hearts are one and the same. You can delude yourself but not me. Once this situation has been resolved…speak to him and see for yourself." Shiva disperses leaving me to my thoughts as I resume pacing the hallway.
I find myself in the main part of the institute where Champions view other games going on and immediately my eyes are drawn to Aiden. He is unleashing a torrent of darkness against others and just scored a triple kill on his own. Aiden is different, his armor is all black with golden ring markings pulsing energy, a pauldron that resembles Tenebrae's wolf head rests on his right shoulder and exudes darkess.
I clench my fist, a low growl rumbling in my chest but Shiva again forces the anger away. Without her, I probably would've succumbed to my rage but she controls it effortlessly. The match ends and I feel eyes on me. I can sense the fear. The power my brother and I display on the rift is matched by no one, so much so that the Summoners have limited what we can do.
Another familiar scent but I didn't need to feel or sense this one. Renekton stops in front of me, his muscular arm blocking me from going around him. Weeks ago, I may have blushed a pretty pink at his extraordinary body but right now it only aggravates me. He glares down at me but he can't see my eyes behind the visor.
"Move." I say and he chuckles, a grin playing across his reptile-like face.
"What will you do if I don't worm?" He spits to the side, his stupid grin never ceasing.
"Why're you bothering me? Do you truly want to make a scene right there? I can spare a few minutes if you really want to go." I retort. Shiva isn't allowing me to voice my anger so it doesn't seem that threatening but she won't stop me from decking him in the face.
He laughs and stands directly in front of me now, our chest touch and his face is inches, no, centimeters away from mine. He looks directly into my visor as if trying to peer into my eyes, challenging me.
He licks his lips, his bloodlust peaking. "C'mon then. Right here and now. Do it. Hit me little boy." He urges, that taunting grin spreading wider.
"Renekton. Enough. Azir won't be pleased if you harmed him." A woman says behind him. His grin drops instantly and is replaced by an annoyed look.
He looks back. "I was just playing Sivir. The kid was being rude so I thought I'd enlighten him to who's actually stronger." He then smiles at me, his deep golden pool eyes looking for mine.
I roll my eyes. "You're not stronger than me. Remember that. I was meek before not weak." I respond and walk past him but not before being stopped by Sivir. She reaches out and grabs my arm and I tense feeling myself wanting to rip her hand off but Shiva calms me.
Her hair is long and black, her eyes alert and blue with fair skin. She is beautiful but has the presence of a warrior, a leader, or something that makes you want to follow her.
"I have information about your brother, Aiden. If you want it however, you must come with us now." She says and releases my arm. "What will it be?"
I ponder her request. What could she know about Aiden that I don't? She could possibly just be wasting my time or this could be something to set me to see Nasus? I can feel my heart sink every time I think about him but immediately push away the feeling. If I let him consume my thoughts, I'll lose sight of Aiden…
"It's not about Nasus." Renekton interjects and joins Sivir at her side and laughs. The lady asked a question. You coming or are you going to be a little bottom bitch like I know you are?"
Instantly I swing viciously punching him in the face, my knuckles popping from hitting his calloused, leathery skin. He doesn't stumble but it was enough of an impact to make him bleed. He wipes the blood from his chin and smiles clearly amused. I feel his blood-lust spike and in moments we are both on the ground punching and clawing at each others throats.
In a flurry of swears and blows, he knocks my visor off my face as we're both pulled apart but other Champions. Fighting outside the institute was prohibited and our powers are already sealed. Otherwise, I would've already buried him under and avalanche of ice and snow.
I spit the blood from mouth to the side and glare at him in disgust. "Why can't you fucking leave me be?! You're in my way! I don't need your help; I don't want your help! Stay the fuck away from me, bitch!" I spit again and wipe my chin.
I yank my arm away from whomever but not before realizing who it is. Our eyes meet for the first time since my change and I'm unable to look away. Those chocolate eyes peer into mine with passion and love that it hurt when I broke away. I pick up my visor but Nasus stops me from putting it back on, his hand on my chin…and I fucking let him. Why?! Stop it…stop looking at me…you're tearing me down again! You're making me weak…
Ethan…Shiva calls to me. Let him help you.
Why? I can do it alone. He'll get in my way. And then you'll—
Are you afraid I'll take him from you? It is true that I will do anything to preserve peace but Nasus is not someone I need to remove. Let him be a beacon for you. Share your pain with him…I will not take him away.
Can I really believe Shiva? For centuries she has done everything her way…but she won't take Nasus from me? Can she truly be trusted or just take It all away to protect me from the world? I get that her choice are in my best interest…to preserve me but is it worth the hurt and the pain?
"Will you come with us Ethan? I know you're aren't interested in talking about us and—"
I slide out of his grasp. "Don't...not now. I don't know what to believe right now. I'll follow you where you want." I reply and keep my gaze at the floor, or my feet, or anything else to keep me from looking at Nasus.
We leave the institute and I give her a confused look. I have actually never been outside the institute. There was never a reason to and she notices me curiosity. Outside are other large buildings much like this one in appearance but a different flag stood tall outside the building's entrances. Noxus, Demacia, Bandle City, Frejord, Piltover…and there are a lot more.
"The institute is composed of all the nations and great cities all across Valoran. Your nation, The Plains, is even here. Right now, however, we would like to ask you to fight for ours." She says and we stop in front of a new building with a golden emblem that mimics the sun high above its dome.
"Which is?" I ask
"Shurima." She responds as the mighty doors open and reveals a desert area with great grand civilization before me. Shurima can only be described in the highest caliber of cities, beautiful, rich, and grand with unique buildings that stand tall and proud in the blinding sun. It's vast and I see no end of buildings but its…empty. Devoid of all life but we and the brilliant scorching sun.
As she tells me the tale of how Shurima came to be, I took note of all the statues of beast-like men that tower over us. I see Nasus and Renekton's figure cut into one of the gold statues, even Sivir's, and some others I don't recognize. There is nothing like this in the Plains as the memories of home begin to flood my mind. Such grandeur and uniqueness that makes me want to ask questions…but not now.
We enter a chamber that leads to a spiral staircase that leads to a palace-like area, wide and littered with cushions and other otherworldly treasures. The entire city can be seen from here and it didn't occur to me that we had actually ascended so high. I was too caught up in my fascination that I abruptly bump into Renekton and he turns and growls. I growl back but Nasus separates us.
"There will be none of that in here." He says and stands in between us as we face an empty throne.
Before I could ask them what we were waiting for, the Sun's rays reflect of the surface of a staff and the light flashes violently. I shield my eyes and once the light calms, a being is sitting in the chair and I'm only able to see his silhouette for a moment.
The others kneel and I follow their gesture not wanting to anger whoever their king is. A bird-like creature emerges from the light and takes a seat on the throne, resting his head on his fist as he leans to the side. Everything about him seems calm and collected, reserved and powerful. It's almost hard to look at him without getting flustered and overwhelmed by his presence.
"Champion Ethan, I presume?" His ethereal voice resonates around us as if he were speaking to all of us.
"Yes." I respond but I dare not stand.
"I am Emperor Azir. Tell me...what do you think of Shurima?"
"It's…" I pause briefly. "It's beautiful…but it seems empty."
"It is." I hear him stand and he approaches us. The others stand and I again follow their gesture. "Shurima was once a great nation rivaled by no one but was destroyed by betrayal and greed." The disappointment in his voice is evident as I watch him look away as if remembering something from the past.
"You want me to help you rebuild? What can I do? If you haven't noticed my brother and I are a bit fucked up right now."
"Watch your mouth!" Sivir says but Azir stops her.
"We can't help you. I can't you. I'm broken and he's…possessed or something." I feel Nasus's eyes on me.
"I am aware of your current situation and I would like to offer you my assistance. The ones that have your brother are also our enemies. I can help you get Aiden back but for a price."
"A price?" I arch a brow. "What makes you think I want your help? Why do you guys insist on thinking that I can't do it myself? You don't know me!" I was beginning to raise my voice but Shiva calms to me.
"I know of your power but you cannot hope to fathom the darkness that holds Aiden. You're powerful, yes, but you know nothing of your foes. You would charge into their fortitude to save your precious brother and then what?"
Shiva calms me again and I sigh. "What do you want?"
"Your service. You will aid me in returning Shurima to its former glory. That is all I ask."
"So align myself with Shurima?" I would have allies…and somewhat of a family if I did. This is what Pulse and I were looking for. I have nothing to lose but much to gain.
He senses my anticipation, a smile gracing his features. "Do we have an agreement?" He asks.
I look to Nasus, to Azir, to Shiva, and then Renekton. Placing my visor back on my face, I kneel and I swear my allegiance to him. After I free Aiden I would get him to join too. Not quite family but it is something to belong to. We don't have to be alone anymore.
Sometime later I return back to the Institute of war. All the pieces are following into place and Aiden and I would soon be reunited. I find myself in the garden area and sit down under the blooming cherry blossom tree. I'm tired and it's still the middle of the day. Hopefully I would get summoned get Aiden or Thresh but in the meantime…
Within moments a figure sits itself besides me. I don't have to look who it is and I smile a bit. He entwines my right hand with his but he doesn't say a word. He just wanted this—just to touch me and know that were still okay…his hand is warm and firm and he draws small circles across my knuckle with his thumb.
I want to tell him I'm sorry for ignoring him and dodging him…for everything. But I still don't know if Shiva is lying to me and I still need to focus. Repairing our relationship would have to wait for a time and it seems he understands. We sit silently and enjoy each other's company until I doze off against his shoulder.
I hope you enjoyed~
Busy week coming up but I hope to write more soon. Enjoy your weekend.
