BWA Owl Service on Tuesday, 2nd March 1999
From: Gen. Caelian Lance Snape of Mbwa Camp, Uele Isle, Northern Territories
To: Field-Marshal Brutus Snape of Central Camp, Djoumboul Line, South Africa
Dear sir,
The resettlement of the Southern area is now approaching its final stage. Our men have re-built the old residences and are now taking their former posts along the Uele line and the Mbomou border, respectively. The camp is back in shape, as far as the condition of the material and the spells is concerned. The land and its people, of course, have undergone massive changes during the last three decades. The inhabitants have now taken up our segregation of Muggle and Wizarding Societies, as a result of which we lost four of the old stationary posts, since they are situated on Muggle territory now.
As ordered, we are strictly keeping out of all Muggle warfare. As everywhere in this part of the continent, our wizarding soldiers fight stray rebel groups of witches and wizards, however, who attempt to enforce a return to the old ways of non-segregation. We shall have to seek them out individually.
Other than that, we are now concentrating mainly on the recruitment of new soldiers. I shall meet with the deputy headmistress of Hogwarts tonight to discuss the reintroduction of military basic training for those, who have successfully completed their O.W.L.s. As a matter of fact, I am quite looking forward to this meeting for personal reasons.
With respect and regards,
Gen. C. L. Snape.
The Lawn Incident
The next time Severus saw Minerva, she looked tired and somehow older than usual. Her hair was not tied into a low bun for a change, but stuffed entirely under a grey travelling hat, which was too small for her, and which she presumably kept for nostalgic reasons.
Severus's last month had been quite draining, too. Morgana had kept "her" promise to her mother and had not let Severus out of her sight very often, except during therapy sessions with Toke, which she had attended, but with her full concentration on the young nurse instead of Severus. (And what a relief it had been.) Now that they were approaching human transfiguration, Severus found his attendant edging towards corners whenever it was time for Severus to cast a spell. The satisfaction gained from this was considerable, but somehow time dragged past whenever Minerva was out of the house, and against his expectations Severus found that a month without her company was quite hard to endure.
Morgana's constant ideas kept him busy, of course. Her latest fad were little "orphaned eggs", as she liked to call them, which she made a sport of spotting from up in the air during her flying practice above the Forbidden Forest, and then brought home because "oh my goodness, just imagine if the parents didn't come back". The trouble, of course, was that, what with Morgana's insufficient knowledge of everything to do with Potions or Magical Creatures, the young woman had managed to almost incinerate the entire West Wing by allowing an Ashwinder egg to hatch on the little table next to the living-room fireplace. Luckily, Vesta McGillivray had been quick-witted enough to choose a summoning spell in order to obtain great amounts of water from the nearby loch instead of attempting a freezing charm in Severus's close reach. She really did seem to care whether he lived or died. He regarded this as his biggest social step so far.
Other than during this significant occurrence, however, the lady had been quite a handful. During one noteworthy encounter, Vesta McGillivray had hinted that she had an good idea of who had actually attended Lucius Malfoy's trial instead of her granddaughter and he found himself lying awake at night trying to figure out whether or not she actually knew of his little detour. Chiefly, of course, the question of Legilimency skills needed to be thought through. Was it really such an odd branch of magic as Dumbledore had always thought? Was it really as exclusive to him, Severus, and the Dark Lord as the three of them had always presumed? And why should not a person to whom society assigned the position of a housewife find the time and perseverance to pursue this highly time-consuming activity of practising Legilimency?
When Minerva returned from her short trip to Africa (she had chosen to go by Portkey in spite of the fact that a few direct floo links had been established for the purpose of resuming contact with the army veterans in the outer regions) Severus went outside to greet her, having spent the last two hours or so gazing through the East Wing's kitchen window onto the lawn and the front porch outside for no particular reason.
When she was an arm's length away, he stopped. The deputy headmistress followed his lead and gave him a tired smile. She took his hand, which was a little clammy (from having sat still for so long, no doubt) into her own, equally cold ones.
"I am glad to see you are well," she said politely.
Severus nodded. "You too."
"A little tired from travelling. I had to visit Africa rather more often than I expected," said the deputy headmistress with a faint smile, allowing him to take her travelling bag. "How did you know I was arriving?"
"You said you'd be back today," Severus replied non-committally. "I expect it is a logical time to arrive."
"Logical, yes…" The smile on the woman's face never faded and Severus perceived a sudden warmth rushing through his body.
"I am very glad you are back!" he said tensely. "I trust you had a pleasant journey?"
"This last one was… an eventful trip," replied the deputy headmistress, taking his hand again. Severus clasped his fingers around hers and then, for no reason at all, pressed her hands to his chest. The world around them ceased to exist. Gone were all the thoughts, all the scheming and handling of political affairs that he was so very much accustomed to. There was only Minerva. And she was smiling.
When the magic of the moment began to fade, Severus realised that none of them, really, knew how to handle the situation elegantly from here. He assumed that Minerva was having the same thought and that, in a few seconds, they would break off and things would go back to normal, and none of them would speak of this ever again – as had happened with moments like this before. And all these thoughts happened in a manner of seconds, and they were accompanied by a feeling of regret that, after all these years, they could be no closer than this, could never be more than colleagues or, perhaps, friends.
Then, Minerva kissed Severus. And Severus kissed Minerva. And they both found that this was very much to their satisfaction, so they continued for a while before, once again, becoming painfully aware that, really, this was not very proper or age-appropriate behaviour at all - and in the middle of the front lawn of an ancient building! So they went in, for a cup of tea.
In the kitchen (having passed the hallway in complete, semi-embarrassed silence, the two professors found Morgana, much to their surprise, who was busy scrubbing the surface next to the fireplace – something Severus had never ever seen her do before. (He had always assumed this was House-Elf work.) The young woman was very concentrated on her work when they entered, so that Severus issued nothing but a terse 'lo and Minerva just patted her daughter's shoulder by way of a greeting. This prompted the following exchange:
"So you're back."
"Indeed, I am, Morgana. I'm glad to find you well occupied. Has your grandmother got you under her command again?"
"Nah –"
"Goodness, sweetheart, you are glowing. Are you ill?"
"No, I'm not. Shut up!"
"Yes, you are. Look at your ears. I'll have Toke have a look at you later on, shall I?"
Morgana turned forcibly now, only to stop in mid-track when hearing the name of her boyfriend – current boyfriend, one would have to say, Severus supposed.
"Wha- oh. Erm. Okay? Fine then. Tell him I want to see him in the dungeons."
"Come to think of it, perhaps your father would be the better option. Best to chose someone who knows that Severus is here and won't perform any unnecessary magic, of course…"
"Yeah, about that –"
"We were going to tell you, Minerva," intervened Severus quickly, trying to catch Morgana's gaze in order to check just how much of the previous scene she had witnessed, "that I have made great progress in my sessions with Toke and that everyday magic does not affect me as much as it used to. As a matter of fact, I think the worst is over. I appear to be comparatively stable again."
Minerva stared. "Severus… but that's wonderful!" She grabbed his hands, instinctively it seemed, and held him as before. It took a great deal of self-control not to withdraw, he found, since Morgana was still in the room and he could not, as yet, estimate how freely Minerva would treat their newfound shared privacy in front of others.
"It… is," he therefore managed, pretending to have to scratch his nose. "Toke did… a very good job."
"As did you," said Minerva warmly. "You really are a hero sometimes, Severus, even with regard to your own health."
"Yeah… you know what, I think I'll go upstairs and do some housework," came Morgana's voice from somewhere very far away. Severus took no notice of her. There was only Minerva again – her eyes, her smell, her warmth. He longed to take her hands again, but something deep inside rebelled against this decision.
Once Morgana was out of the room, the two professors took seat opposite each other at the kitchen table, unable to keep their eyes off each other, but equally unable to make verbal sense of this situation, or to break the awkwardness.
"She's… just a child after all," Minerva eventually chose to say. The most obvious way out. Things would proceed as they had in weeks and months before – and years, come to think of it. Years, too.
"Things changed while you were away," he replied awkwardly, attempting to keep the conversation where it ought to be. Minerva misunderstood.
"Oh, I am afraid you will have to get used to that during this time of the year. Morgana gets excited about the reopening of the Quidditch season long before the first game is anywhere in sight…"
"I didn't mean Morgana," he said harshly. Conversations with Vesta McGillivray had provided him with some focus again. Sometimes you had to be harsh with people. This, of course, was not the right time the then realised.
"I… I see?" said Minerva, obviously at a loss. Severus cursed his own inability to deal with intimacy. He would have to be harsh – or at least blunt. Yes, that was good. Previous approaches had led to nothing. And sometimes a radical change of tactic brought about surprising results.
"I am fairly sure that I have fallen in love with you," he declared, finding his voice factual and emotionless against all intentions. "It was not my choice."
Minerva stared at him. Had she been anyone else, Severus would have thought she was blushing a little. As it was, she was probably reacting to the heat of the fireplace and the kitchen in general. Come to think of it, the room was incredibly hot all of a sudden. But soon, perhaps, this was about to change. They were about to return to the state of clammy cold hands and surprise kisses on damp afternoon grass…
But suddenly Minerva rose and left. She managed what sounded a little like "I'm sorry" in-between two movements, and then Severus was left alone on an increasingly uncomfortable kitchen bench, allowing three of Morgana's favourite words to resound in his ear as though she was still here to judge the situation…
"Well done, genius."
