The Bond That Ties Us

Chapter Seven

Save Ben

Knock, knock.

Knock, knock, knock.

Rey's eyes cracked open.

Oh, blast, bad idea, bad idea, bad idea.

She pulled a pillow over her head. Her head, which was pounding much worse than it had been last night. The needles sensation had transformed admirably into a tactical axe, and it was relentless in its pursuit to take out her eye.

"Choobies," she groaned.

Her bedroom door opened, and a sweet, respectful voice called out. "Miss? I've brought you some clothes."

Clothes?

"Pants?"

"I… what?"

"Pants," Rey repeated with emphasis.

"No, ma'am… it's… it's a dress, ma'am."

Blast.

"Okay." No matter how many times she cleared her throat, her voice stayed raspy. She sounded like some sort of kraken. It was terribly unflattering.

"I'll just put them right here," the maid said politely. "Princess Organa asked you to join her for breakfast. Will you be going?"

Rey nudged her pillow off her face. "Breakfast?"

"Yes, ma'am."

Food! It sounded both amazing, and… not amazing at the same time. How was it possible to be sick to your stomach and still hungry?

She lifted her aching head hopefully. "I'll be there," she said, her voice cracking in several places.

"Yes, ma'am."


Urgh… Another dress.

Rey wrinkled her nose. She was going to have to specifically ask for something more practical, wasn't she?

This one was a very pale red, not quite pink. After a refreshing bath, she changed into it and went to the mirror. The neckline was higher than the other, a band of gold closing around her neck. Fabric billowed out to her ankles. Her back was bare again, down to the base of her spine. Golden sandals completed the ensemble, strappy ones that climbed up her legs.

Rey chewed on her lip. She smoothed her hands down her front. While the cloth was light, it still managed to cling to her and accentuate curves she didn't know she had.

She didn't feel like herself when she saw her reflection.

She turned to see herself from her profile, blushing when she glimpsed the barest hint of the side of her breast. Was this really what ladies liked to wear…?

Rey pulled her freshly washed and dried hair off her face. She wove a braid sideways along the top of her head. It took several tries—she hadn't done these braided styles in years. Her hair was too short to do a full crown, so she tied the rest of it into a nice bun.

A sigh left her as she examined the result. This was so frustrating. She'd never been someone who worried about what she looked like. Scavenging in a desert had that effect.

"You look beautiful."

Rey flushed and headed to breakfast, Ben's words heavy in her heart.


She was halfway to the dining room when she ran into Poe.

She slowed to a stop as he pushed away from the wall he was lounging against and offered her his arm. His usual roguish attire was dimmed somewhat. She wasn't the only one who had had a wardrobe change.

A dark gray shirt with a black coat over it, supple leather. It didn't button or zip, the lapels open and long. Form-fitting black pants tucked into equally black boots with buckles. The only source of color was beneath his lapel and collar, a shade of white.

When she didn't take his arm, he tilted his head. "I came to escort you to breakfast."

"I know how to get there."

"To the royal pavilion?"

That… she did not.

"I won't bite, Rey."

He was right—she was being silly. She took his elbow and off they went.

Maybe talking would make it less awkward. "You clean up well."

Poe grinned. "Better than that tie I was forced to wear last night."

"Where do you think they get these clothes?"

The commander shrugged. "No idea." Several steps later, he segued, "You look beautiful, by the way. And you did last night, too."

A blush ran across her cheeks and the bridge of her nose. She wasn't sure how to handle the compliments she'd been receiving. "Poe…"

He took her hand and tugged her down a lesser-used corridor. "I need to talk to you."

She wasn't sure—no, she was certain this wasn't a great idea. "I don't think we should."

He moved in, and she found the wall at her back, cool against her skin. She had no choice but to tilt her head up. He placed a hand to the side of her head, lowering his own head to her. This close she could see a freckle in his eye, and a darker band of brown around the pupil. It wasn't something she had wanted to know, but now wouldn't be able to forget.

"Poe," she whispered. "I can't do this. Please don't… please don't do this." How many times had she said that this month? It was depressing. The men in her life kept pushing and pushing, and eventually she was going to break, was going to crumble to pieces.

His thumb ran over her chin. "Give me one good reason why not." A smile quirked the corner of his mouth, like he was certain she wouldn't be able to think of anything.

"I can't… get involved, Poe. It's not that I don't want to—"

That smile grew a lot more confident, maybe even somewhat cocky. "You don't want to not get involved?" He waggled an eyebrow to make her laugh, and it worked, a giggle slipping free from her.

It faded as he kissed her.

possession

Her hands found his chest and shoved.

The pilot stumbled back, his eyes wide in surprise and hurt. As he was recovering, Rey stared down at her hands. They had just betrayed her somehow. There'd been an odd moment of… of wrongness, like she was doing something she wasn't supposed to. That was absurd. Poe kissing her didn't bring her to the point of near violence.

"If you don't want to kiss me, you can say so. I'm a big boy. I can take it."

"Poe, no, it's not that—"

"Then what is it?"

Her mouth worked, no sound coming free. How in seven hells was she supposed to explain what had happened when she didn't understand herself? Anything she could think of just sounded… crazy.

"I don't know!" she blurted.

"How do you not—?" He placed a hand on his hip and closed his eyes. It was several moments before he spoke again. "You're right." He looked at her, and he was a different person, closed off, a world away. "We shouldn't do this."

He walked off, leaving her standing there, surprised and hurt herself.


It bothered her. It bothered her that Poe was upset with her, far more than she could have ever imagined. It was mostly because he was her friend, and she'd never had friends until Finn, and she cherished each of them as if they were her family… because they were her family.

She was not proud of herself for her behavior. Poe had done nothing to deserve it. Yes, she hadn't particularly wanted to be kissed… but it wasn't because she didn't like him or didn't feel anything. It was because things were growing too confusing.

The pavilion overlooked one of the wildflower fields. Rey sat in a chair near the balcony and watched the wind slide through the flowers with abandon, tugging them every which way. The first time she had ever seen flowers, she hadn't known what they were. Now that she did, she appreciated them at every opportunity. Jakku was a wasteland she no longer wanted to return to.

There was nothing for her there.

She looked at the waterfalls, and she wanted to throw herself into them, to be dragged to the bottom of the lake, to… something. She didn't know. Escape? It was all she had prayed for her entire life—escaping, once she was reunited with her parents. She had thought that once she left Jakku, she would never feel that desperate again, that she would have the entire galaxy to explore. Now she knew how wrong she was.

She'd wanted to be proud of her actions. She'd wanted to find her place. She'd wanted someone to show her the way. Luke had tried. Now he was gone.

Behind her, her friends sat at a table with Leia and the queen, while members of the palace staff catered to the company and made sure things ran smoothly. One of them offered Rey a glass with orange liquid in it, and she declined. She'd wanted so badly to eat, but now she couldn't stomach the thought of it, and it wasn't just the hangover.

Was she a terrible person? Was she leading Poe on? If she was, she had no intention to.

Her thoughts trailed away as something unfurled inside of her. It was warm and promising, and it wanted her attention. Her eyes flitted to the field. Something was out there… something close, yet far.

Rey rose from her seat.

"Rey, I'm sorry." The apology from Poe was abrupt, and it took her a moment to focus on him. It was hard. That feeling… It needed her. "I'm acting like an ass."

"What?" She looked at him, for a moment distracted from the call. "No! No, you aren't. I behaved horribly. I'm really sorry. Really, I am." She took his hands. "You're my friend, and I value that so much. More than you can know."

He squeezed her hands and released them. "I'm…" Poe leaned a hip against the balcony and let his own gaze wander to the flowers. "I'm not used to, ah… being turned down."

"Really, Poe, it's all right."

possession

"I'll back off," he promised.

She wanted to tell him not to—knew how foolish that would be.

safety

It was like being drunk again. Foreign feelings roamed through her as if they owned her, and she thought that maybe they did.

security

"I've… I've got to go." She staggered away, past the princess, past her friends, past the queen, past the staff. She heard a few questioning shouts behind her but kept going. There was something out there in the wildflowers. It was pulling her, calling her. If she didn't inspect it, she would go mad.

Rey picked up the skirts of her dress and all but ran off the pavilion.

The call was leading her away, away from the palace. She knew to be wary, but she couldn't stop herself. It had hooked itself behind her navel and was tugging her along. She made her way back outside, moving instinctively. There was a long bridge connecting to the fields, and she strode over it without once looking back.


Weeds, grass, and wildflowers rustled against her legs.

She turned. She'd been walking for so long. The palace was in the distance, the pavilion facing a different direction. The sun was hot on her back, and perspiration coated her skin in places. She swallowed, her mouth dry. Her feet ached, trapped in sandals as they were. Not exactly proper shoes for a journey.

The waterfalls roared at her back. Flowers tickled her palm, and she idly ran her hand through them. The tug was gone, and she wasn't entirely sure what to do next. Why was she here? If she went back, would it be for nothing?

Rey closed her eyes and concentrated.

The sunlight touching flowers, creating growth, giving way to death and growth again—the water, pure and powerful, pulling its weight—the wind, soft against her skin—fuzzy creatures playing in the grass, hiding, hiding…

It was so peaceful here.

She was about to sit down to enjoy her surroundings when she heard him:

"You followed my orders perfectly."

She spun, and she had only a moment to look up into Ben's face and know that this was real, that he wasn't just there through the bond.

"I told you I can take whatever I want."

His hand waved, and like that time on Takodana, she fell into a deep sleep. The last thing she remembered was the feeling of his arms catching her and holding her close.


Rey woke up with her fist swinging and had the satisfaction of feeling it collide with flesh.

She pushed herself upright and found Ben tenderly touching his cheek. Blood was a mark on the corner of his mouth. To his credit, he hadn't made a sound when she punched him.

"What in hells did you do?!" Rey yelled. "Where are we?!"

He stepped toward the bed—she started crawling backward, kicking off the sheets around her legs. She stumbled over the other side of the bed, and from there she backed up until she was against a wall. She was shaking—she was terrified. The last time he had physically been in the same room with her had been in Snoke's chambers.

They hadn't parted well.

"How did you find me?" She couldn't stop the tremor in her voice.

"You told me." His hand dropped from his face.

"That's a lie!" she spat.

"Is it?"

She flinched when he waved his hand again… but she didn't fall asleep. No, instead she…

The events from the night before, the events he'd stolen from her, came rushing back. There were so many sensations and thoughts and feelings at the same time that Rey was immobilized. Having memories rammed back into her, forcing her to process them at the speed of the delivery was, for a moment, threatening to drive her insane.

Everything clicked properly into place.

"I'm going to kill you," she whispered. Her hand instinctively went for her lightsaber, which was no longer there. All she had was this pretty dress. Fine. She would find another way. Like with her bare hands.

She lunged at him across the bed, and they fell in a tangle to the floor.

He caught one fist, then the other. She pushed, straining, but he was too strong. She plucked at the Force, only to be met with a Force shield on his end. No matter how hard she shoved at it, it wouldn't relent. The nearest object was a lamp, and she went to smash it over his head. He blocked it with his arm and waved his other hand. She flew up and back, slamming into the wall above the bed.

Rey pushed with the Force, honing it in one direction. A vase behind him crashed into the back of his head. He grunted, stumbling, and she slid down from the wall. She ran at him, and he caught her at her midriff and threw her over his shoulder, arm tight over her legs. She got a foot free and kicked his stomach as hard as she could. He dropped her, and as she fell, she threw out her hand.

His lightsaber pulled itself from his belt and flew across the room. Crimson sparks hit the air as she tried to ignite it on the way. Before it got there, she found herself pinned to the ground, her fists on either side of her head as she glared up at him. She struggled as hard as she could against his grip. Without weapons and only a basic understanding of channeling the Force, she was a spider caught in his web.

Ben rose to one knee, a hand on his stomach. He winced as he straightened into an upright position. "Stop."

"I will never forgive you!" she snarled. "Never!"

How could she? He was a monster! She'd always known it, but now it was worse. He'd violated her.

His face changed from mildly annoyed to raging anger, the sort that made people run from him whenever he was in a snit. "You lied to me!" he bellowed.

"I didn't lie to you! I was getting my affairs in order, just like I said! You couldn't be patient!"

"You told me you would try! You took my hand, and you told me you would try! Then you vanished—for three days!" The very walls trembled from his wrath, not powerful enough to be alarming just yet but concerning all the same. "You are intent on keeping me out. That's a betrayal. I won't allow it."

"I'm not keeping you out, I'm protecting my friends!" How hard was this for him to understand?!

"It's all the same in the end, scavenger," he said coldly, a stark contrast to the might of his temper.

Scavenger? They were back to that?

"DON'T MAKE ME HATE YOU!"

He yelled and strode forward, igniting his lightsaber in a flare of scarlet. "DON'T MAKE ME THE ENEMY!" He was holding onto his weapon hard enough that she could hear the metal of its pommel creak.

"YOU ARE THE ENEMY!"

Ben gestured. His lightsaber hummed as he held her off the ground, her toes not quite able to touch it. He was shaking all over. She jutted her chin out in defiance. Without a lightsaber, she didn't want to provoke him any further. She'd have to wait until his guards were down to steal his.

Breathing heavily, he closed his eyes and disarmed the lightsaber. When he spoke, his voice was a near croak from how forcefully he'd yelled. "Don't do this."

"You brought it on yourself!" Tears touched her eyes. "You manipulated me when I was vulnerable!"

All the rage he'd been trying to rein in was unleashed. "YOU LIED TO ME!" The entire room shook harder, and what sounded like baubles crashed to the floor, ruined. The lamp she'd grabbed was thrown at a wall. Glass rained down.

Both glared at each other, a battle of wills with no one to back down.

"Don't believe in me. Believe in Ben."

Like a splash of cold water, Rey remembered her purpose.

Save Ben.

"Are you sorry?" She couldn't keep her voice steady. She was still in fight mode.

His eyes flashed in disbelief. "I will not—" He halted. Did he understand the olive branch she was offering? She watched the anger drain out of him. "…I'm sorry." He looked at her expectantly.

Rey gave a stiff nod. "So am I." Apologizing to him was a low blow and one that was difficult to swallow. She hadn't done anything wrong.

She was lowered gently to the floor. His hand rose as if he wanted to touch her—dropped.

Rey looked around for the first time, pretending she hadn't noticed. Was this a cottage?

"Where are we?"

His answer completely threw her.

"My home."