Disclamier: I still own nothing but this collection of stories
Note: this quirk was inspired by the two part episode that happened the past two weeks (especially the scene where Gibbs hints that he may have had some trouble with PTSD in the past) as well as my sympathy for the "wounded warriors" who come home with PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder for those who don't know). It's sort of OOC a bit, but I tried to keep it as Gibbish as possible. Also, just wanted to wish those in America a Happy Thanksgiving! I hope you all had a pleasant day and ate some good food. I know that I am stuffed and don't think I'll eat again until next week lol. Enjoy!
~~~~~NCIS~~~~~
At first Tony wasn't sure what woke him exactly. He felt a little groggy. Not just because he was still half-asleep, but because of the Ah-mazing sex he and Gibbs had had the night before. Tony had experienced some of the most intense orgasms of his life. Anyway. He lay in bed for a moment, waiting to hear or feel whatever it was that had woken him from his deep slumber. He kept his eyes closed in order to heighten his hearing (their bedroom was dark anyway) and waited. Then he heard it. An agony-filled, strained cry.
"Gibbs!" Tony gasped as he rocketed out of bed and followed the sound of the horrible noises his lover was making down to the basement, where Tony's left him. He turned the lights on as he went, and flicked the basement's switch on when he reached them. He looked down until he found Gibbs, curled up in a ball, shaking so hard it was visible to Tony across the room, and making these pitiful, scared sounds that Tony never would've thought Gibbs could make. He ran down the stairs and fell to his knees by his lover. "Gibbs!" Tony said loudly as he grabbed his lover. The feel of his touch however caused the man crumpled on the floor to shout in terror and lash out with his fists, clocking Tony right across the face.
The unexpected blow was enough to make Tony fall back on his butt, but he ignored the pain and reached out for Gibbs again. "Jethro! Jet, wake up!" Tony shouted gently. When Gibbs lashed out again, Tony ducked to avoid it and wrapped Gibbs' entire body with his own. Gibbs cried out again and pounded on Tony's back. Tony blocked out the pain and, as gently and lovingly as possible, whispered in his lover's ear, "Jet. It's your Tony. Wake up for me. Your Tony wants to see your amazing blue eyes. Please Jethro. Come back to me."
Suddenly the shaking and whimpering stopped and Tony felt arms wrap around his waist. "Tony?" Gibbs whispered.
"Yes Jethro. It's me. You with me?"
Gibbs hugged him tighter and buried his face into Tony's neck. He was breathing heavily; Tony could feel his wild, erratic heartbeat as if he was about to explode. He was still shaking, but not as violently as before. The nightmare must've been awful for it to have affected Gibbs so deeply. He hugged him tighter and whispered sadly, "Oh Gibbs."
For a while, they held on to each other on the floor of the basement, where'd they'd made crazy, hot love just the night before. When Tony finally felt Gibbs stop shaking and his breathing was calmer, he said quietly, "Let's go up to bed." When Gibbs made no effort to move, just nodding in acknowledgement, Tony sighed and wrapped one arm around Gibbs legs. With a little effort and more strength than he thought he had, Tony lifted Gibbs into his arms. Sure, Gibbs was a couple inches shorter than Tony and maybe a few pounds lighter, but Tony didn't think he could actually carry Gibbs on his own. Gibbs, though, didn't seem to care too much, just moved his grip to Tony's neck and kept his face hidden in Tony's chest. When Gibbs seemed to relaxed in Tony's arms, Tony smiled affectionately into the top of the grey-haired head and found enough motivation to move towards and up the stairs, both flights, and then into their bedroom.
Tony gently placed Gibbs on the bed and then got into the bed next to him. He covered them in the blankets and held Gibbs close. His breathing was mostly normal now, but it wasn't slow and deep so Tony knew he was still awake. After a while, Tony started to calmly pet Gibbs' head and asked again, "You with me Gibbs?"
After a moment, Gibbs nodded. His clutch on Tony never lessened though, worrying Tony greatly. However, he could also sense his lover just needed a little while to calm down from whatever had terrified him in his nightmares, so he stayed silent. As he waited for whatever would happen next, Tony soothingly ran his fingers through the silver hair and kissed the top of his head every once in a while.
Finally, Gibbs spoke, so quietly Tony almost missed it, "I was back in the core. The fighting, the noise, the death, everything just seemed so real. And I couldn't escape."
Tony hugged him tighter and asked gently, "This happen often?"
Gibbs shook his head, "Hasn't in months."
There was a moment of silence before Tony questioned, "I've heard you mention the symptoms of PTSD before. You know them, because you had them. Didn't you?"
For a moment, Gibbs remained unmoving, as if afraid to admit it. Then he nodded and said, "Yah. Was really messed up for years. Not as bad as it could get; mostly I just had nightmares, panic attacks, and problems readjusting to civilian life. Shannon- she would do the best she could to help. Had to see a professional a number of times. Wasn't until after my girls' deaths that it stopped. Probably because my head was so focused on them instead of what I'd seen in combat. Then it came back in the form of nightmares- both about the core and their deaths. It wasn't as bad as before and over the years, they've nearly stopped."
"Do they have triggers?" Tony was curious about whether their bondage play last night had anything to do with Gibbs' nightmares.
"Not usually. A few about Shannon and Kelly I think were caused by some of our cases involving kids; I had one after seeing Stephanie again, and after saving Maddie. Stuff like that."
Tony was relieved that their sex hadn't had any negative effects, but he still felt awful that his lover had to deal with this so many years later. "Can I get you anything?" Tony offered kindly, wanting to show Gibbs that he could help him and be there for him too, "Coffee? Water? A snack? A warm blanket?"
Gibbs chuckled lightly and squeezed Tony tighter as he said, "No thanks Tone." Gibbs turned his head so that he could rest his chin on Tony's chest and look up at him. But as soon as Gibbs' shiny blue eyes fell on Tony's face, he frowned and sat up. He started to reach out but then dropped his hand. "Did I do that?" he whispered.
Tony had forgotten the punch he'd taken. He reached up with his hand to try and see how bad it was, but as soon as his hand touched the now-swollen area on his cheekbone, it shouted with pain. He flinched but managed to hold in the gasp of pain that was at the back of his throat. Not wanting Gibbs to feel guilty, he dropped his hand and smiled as best he could, "It barely even hurts. Don't worry about it."
But Gibbs had seen the grimace and wasn't fooled by Tony's game. His blue eyes widened with guilt and self-loathing and, like a shot, he was off the bed and heading downstairs. A few moments later, he returned with a frozen bag of peas. He sat down by Tony and gently held the cold package to Tony's face. Tony placed his hand over the one holding the bag and squeezed, wanting Gibbs to look at him. When sad blue eyes finally met determined green ones, Tony said, "Gibbs. It's okay. Really, I'm fine."
But Gibbs looked away and shook his head, "I don't want to hurt you. Not again."
"You didn't." At Gibbs' glare, Tony gave in, "Okay, so ya punched me. You weren't even aware that it was me, and I probably shouldn't have tried to grab you like I did. I've taken a worse beating before." Gibbs still didn't look convinced but he didn't look away again, so Tony sat up and leaned in real close to Gibbs' face and said gently, "I don't blame you so, please, you can't either. Okay?"
After a few long minutes, Gibbs finally sighed heavily in defeat and nodded, "Okay. Love you."
Tony smiled broadly. He would never get tired of hearing Gibbs say he loved him. He gently touched Gibbs face and said, "I love you too" before bringing their lips together. The kiss wasn't meant to do anything but let the other know just how much love he felt. When they finally parted, they rested their foreheads together and Tony said, "Why don't I go put the peas back in the freezer and then we can go back to sleep, huh?"
"I'll do it. You get comfortable," he stood up and started to walk to the door. Then he turned around, came back, and kissed Tony one more time. When he released him, Gibbs said, "Thank you for saving me from my nightmare."
It was said with so much meaning that Tony felt beyond blessed to have been allowed to see this side of Gibbs, the not-so-strong, slightly-damaged side that still had nightmares about his years as a Marine. Tony didn't even want to think about the man he loved being in so much pain, but it was just how things were. He was glad that at least Gibbs was better than he used to be and didn't have too many nightmares anymore. However, for the ones that would come along, Tony knew that he would stop at nothing to be there for Gibbs, because he loved Gibbs and not being there just wasn't an option. Gibbs needed him. He probably wouldn't say so out loud, but he did. And Tony needed him too. He smiled loving up at Gibbs and said, "You're welcome."
When Gibbs turned and left, Tony reached into the dresser drawer and pulled out his notebook. He flipped to a page and quickly wrote down, "Gibbs' Quirk Number 25: had and still has a symptom of PTSD (nightmares)."
