Good or Bad Events?-

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter. A/N: This is a very emotional chapter. Either you will be screaming at Lily, or James, or both. Enjoy!

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It was the next day and Lily was excited for the event to happen later that day. She was ready for classes and went downstairs to the Great Hall for breakfast. When she walked in, she saw James standing at the Ravenclaw table and talking to Maranna. She averted her eyes over there and then quickly tried to hide the fact that she was watching so nobody would notice. James left the Ravenclaw table and went over to the Gryffindor table. On the way he stopped and talked to other people.

~Lily's p.o.v.~

All of a sudden from behind me, I felt something poke me and I jumped from the back. It was James. "Hello James." "Lily, how are you today?" he asked. "I'm alright." I smiled. "You?" I asked him. "Same." He smiled at me. There was plenty of space for him to sit down next to me I noticed. But he left and sat by the other marauders (Sirius, Peter, and Remus.) I sighed. "Anita, what is happening to me?" Anita just shook her head and we headed off to our next class, Charms, with the Ravenclaws. "Of all of the other houses, why does it have to be Ravenclaw next class?! I know that Maranna is nice and all... But James never takes his eyes off of her!" I was completely jealous and I complained to Anita most of the way to Charms class. "It will be okay, you heard it yourself, she doesn't like him!" Anita reminded me. The class period went by slowly as we learned about different charms that make you a certain mood. "For instance, if you want to make someone else angry, think of something that makes you really angry and point your wand at them and say 'Vendractio Moodem' and they will become that mood you were concentrating on." Mr. Flitwick explained. If it wasn't for the fact that Charms was my favorite class, I would be so depressed I could turn the whole class suicidal with one incantation of that spell. The class ended and the other classes went by fast.

It was now the time I was waiting for. I fixed my hair, brushed my teeth, and changed into better clothing, and sprayed some perfume on myself so I smell nice for James. I was so excited that the walk to the prefect's quarters was very short. I could not believe that soon I would be getting my first kiss... What if I messed up? I don't know how to kiss... What if he thinks that I'm a loser and gives up? "Emonium Retscattle" I repeated the password to the portrait leading to the prefect quarters. I walked in and James was already there. He was reading a quidditch magazine and looked up and smiled at me. I walked over to the couch he was at and sat down. James threw his magazine across the floor and got up. "Excuse me one moment." He said to me. "Alright." I said. I got up and walked around looking at all of the moving portraits in the room. James walked into the room and was close to me. Unconsciously I backed away a bit for some breathing room. "Are you sure you still want to do this?" He asked me. "Yes, I am just nervous; I have never kissed anyone before I am probably really bad at it." I admitted to him. "No, don't even worry about that." He assured me and smiled. There was an awkward silence and part of me wanted to start cracking up out of nowhere. But everything was happening so slowly, it didn't feel real at all, but it was. The next thing I knew was extremely close to James and my head was as far up as possible so I could be level with James, and he leaned down. Our lips were together and I felt him thrust his tongue in my mouth. I didn't know what to do, but I slid my tongue in and rubbed against his tongue. It seemed very pointless to me at first. We broke away. Then a few seconds later tried again. I was starting to get the hang of it. The more and more we kissed, the better I liked it. We went to the couch and sat down. It was the way he held me, as I felt his arms creep over me as I was in his lap, I knew, I loved him. We talked, kissed and cuddled for a couple hours and then James had to go and do homework. I felt a little flustered but I got up, and we shared our last kiss for the night. "Lily, you are a good kisser." He told me. I smiled and left. On my way back I thought of how good James was himself. But I don't know, he is the first boy I have ever kissed. I love the feel of his lips, how soft they were, and the feel of the pressure against mine. I was in a very good mood.

Almost every other day, I was with James for a few hours at the quarters in the evening. He was always the one that had to leave first. It seemed like we were getting closer and closer every time we saw each other. But everything was hidden and secret, I told only my closest friends, but I doubt he told any of his. I wanted people to know, I did not realize that things were really hidden to everyone. I was not talking to my friends as often, but was trying to be near James; although when I was I hardly ever went up to him. It was time for Divination class again. I was paired up with James. James smiled at me. We worked silently on the task the teacher gave us and we got in a heated discussion. "James, I think I love you." I told him. "I love you too Lily." He told me. Now I was really confused. "But, why are we not going out?" I asked him. "I don't know, I mean, I care for you so much I don't see why we aren't." he said. "But, you know I would, right?" I asked. "Yes, but I really don't think I need a girlfriend right now. I feel like I am messed up, and you deserve better than me." he answered. "That is not true. Look at all of the girls that are after you! I don't love anyone else but you. I would give anything to you." I confessed. "I know." He said. I then realized, nothing I said changed anything. "But then, what are we? Nobody knows about us..." I said. "We are close to going out... like super friends." He said. My heart sunk and I became angry. "Why are you kissing me and such?" I asked with a little bit of a tone. "If you don't want me to I'll stop." "NO" I cut him off. "But I do love you." He continued. I was in a fix. How can you be in between something like that? I am farther away from my friends... And being with James is almost all hope lost. "I don't want to be giving you false hope or anything, but may be sometime when I sort out my issues." He said. "Do you promise me that you ill not and you have not been kissing or holding any other girls while we have been like this?" I asked him worriedly. "Of course I haven't and I will not. You don't have to worry aboput that, you have my word." He said undoubtedly. I felt relieved... but I wondered... what issues? James is perfect he has anything he ever needs... a great life... my life too... and he needs to sort out issues? I was getting angry and sad and depressed.

Meanwhile everyone is realizing something is wrong with Lily. Lily wasn't telling them a lot. And she hardly talked to them as much anymore. Even though they didn't know her before her appearance change, they knew she has changed because of James. She was no longer a strong person, she was not afraid of anything, and she became cold and depressed. She changed herself. What could they do? The next day Lily spilled out her anger and sadness to James.

"It is not fair; I don't want to feel played like this. But you're the only person I really care about anymore. And I try, but I can't stop wanting to be with you. What are you having issues with? Wait... don't tell me! You are still after Maranna aren't you!? Have you done anything with her?" I burst out fast. "Yes, sadly I still am after Maranna. I don't feel like I can give you all of the love you deserve. Not as much as you give me. And no I have done nothing with her." He said sadly. My heart sunk if possible even lower... After all of that... He still loved Maranna. And she was the reason why we were not together. I am not mad at her, she doesn't like him and it is not her fault. But damnit! "You love her more, don't you?" I asked him. "No, I don't. And it isn't even that... It is just that the love is there and that isn't fair to you." He said. "Oh. I understand." I said. "Maybe... maybe we should start over... Maybe we need to take a break from all of the kissing stuff. Maybe we should just be friends, like regular friends. I understand if you won't want to be my friend." He said. "What..." I started. "But I love you!" I started crying and then ran off to the girls dorm and cried my eyes out even more. I lost it... It was over.

[i]-Lifeless-

It invades your every thought, dream and hope.

You begin to regret everything said and done.

But one thing is always clear, true love never fails.

You love her so much you let her go. This strong pain is killing you both.

You let her slip by as fast as she came.

Who is to blame?

You let her cry as she wants to die.

The sparkles of joy in her eyes will no longer exist no longer will a sweet kiss.

Her eyes turned cold and depressed, her lips battered from biting the skin.

You let her spirit die so she sits in the corner and pretends to smile but she really cries inside.

She gave out her heart and soul to you.

She makes calls to get it back but they do not obey.

There they lay with you forever as she hopes you squeeze them with your fist.

The only thing she enjoyed, only thing she ever loved in life was you.

You made her feel special, loved, and strong, and then stripped and tore it all away. Congratulations, you got your way, but now she is lifeless, cold and bitter, in pain.

She cannot reopen, trust, or love; she cannot relive nor regain, anyone else, never again.

For you still and always will have her love.

She awaits for you inside with her dead spirit and pride.

You should love nothing about her, like everyone else.

I am she, that unworthy being of whom seeks your approval.

I shall lay here forever and wait until I die. –[/i]

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A/N: That is the end of that chapter. I hope it was long enough. Thank you to all of my reviewers! Please R&R! I haven't been able to put any names in here because I haven't been getting reviews... O_O So please do and I might deliver a new chapter really soon!-- Jenna