(Scooter appears in his crew headset and holding his clipboard.)
SCOOTER: Okay, final number! Setting up the stage for the final number!
(Annie Sue comes down the stairs dressed in a sparkly blue Glinda dress, and Miss Piggy follows her.)
ANNIE SUE: Oh, isn't it wonderful that Kermit found a new partner for me?
PIGGY: Hmph, but she probably can't sing it better than I could.
(She tosses her hair back.) This could've been my solo.
(Kermit enters.)
KERMIT: Okay, looks like we're all set. Annie Sue, you ready?
ANNIE SUE: Oh, absolutely! (She runs out onstage.)
…
(Front of curtain. Kermit comes in to a fanfare.)
KERMIT: And now, ladies and gentlemen, you're in for a real treat! Tonight's finale features the very first live performance from a newly discovered talent right here in the Muppet Theatre.
From one of Broadway's most loved shows, here's Annie Sue Pig and our next big star Shana with "Defying Gravity"!
(Applause as he exits and the curtains open to a dark stage, surrounded by giant cog pieces.)
(Shana stands off center with Annie Sue, wearing a long black gown an a witch's hat with her skin painted green.)
(Shana begins to sing as she crosses downstage.)
SHANA:
"Something has changed within me,
Something is not the same.
I'm through with playing by the rules of someone else's game.
Too late for second guessing, too late to go back to sleep.
It's time to trust me instincts, close my eyes…"
(She looks out into the audience and reaches out.)
"…and leap!
It's time to try defying gravity, I think I'll try defying gravity.
And you can't pull me down!"
(As she lowers her hand with her last line, Annie Sue comes up beside her.)
ANNIE SUE:
"Can't I make you understand?
You're having delusions of grandeur…"
SHANA:
"I'm through excepting limits 'cause someone says they're so.
Some things I cannot change, but till I try I'll never know!"
(She crosses up stage left, where a broom leans on the set piece, and reaches for it.)
"Too long I've been afraid of losing love, I guess I've lost.
Well, if that's love, it comes at much too high a cost!
I'd sooner buy defying gravity, kiss me goodbye I'm defying gravity,
And you can't pull me down!"
(Shana holds out the broom to Annie Sue.)
Quick! Get on!
ANNIE SUE: What?
SHANA: Come with me. Think of what we could do, together.
(They look out into the audience in wonder as she sings.)
"Unlimited, together we're unlimited.
Together we'll be the greatest team there's ever been, Glinda.
Dreams the way we planned 'em…"
ANNIE SUE:
"If we work in tandem…"
BOTH:
"There's no fight we cannot win!
Just you and I defying gravity,
With you and I defying gravity…"
SHANA:
"They'll never bring us down!"
Well, are you coming?
(Annie Sue backs away, shaking her head no. She pulls out a long black cape and drapes it over Shana's shoulders.)
ANNIE SUE:
"I hope you're happy, now that you're choosing this."
SHANA:
You too. "I hope it brings you bliss…"
BOTH:
"I really hope you get it and you don't live to regret it.
I hope you're happy in the end…"
(They take hands and slowly slip away from each other as Shana backs away further upstage.)
I hope you're happy, my friend!"
(Suddenly Sweetums and a group of Frackles storm the stage dressed as Emerald City guards.)
SWEETUMS: There she is! Don't let her get away!
(The Frackles jump on Annie Sue, starting to pull her offstage.)
ANNIE SUE: Leave me alone, let go of me!
(Shana's voice rings out from the darkened center stage.)
SHANA: It's not her! She has nothing to do with it, I'm the one you want. It's me!
(The lights come up, and she rises from the floor on a billowing black platform blending into her dress.)
(Sweetums and the Frackles let Annie Sue go, running away.)
IT'S ME!
"So if you care to find me, look to the western sky!
As someone told me lately, 'Everyone deserves the chance to fly!'
And if I'm flying solo at least I'm flying free,
To those who ground me, take a message back from me:
Tell them how I am defying gravity, I'm flying high defying gravity!
And soon I'll match them in renown…"
(She points the broom out into the air watching everyone below as she sings.)
And nobody in all of Oz, no wizard that there is or was,
Is ever gonna bring…me down!"
ANNIE SUE:
"I hope you're happy!"
(An army of Muppets, varying from all Henson programs, swarm the stage.)
ALL:
"Look at her, she's wicked! Get her!"
SHANA: ALL:
"Bring me down!" "No one mourns the wicked, so we've
Got to bring her…"
"AAAAAAAHHHH! DOWN!
(Smoke and fog machines, thousands of lights and blasts of wind as everyone strikes the final pose.)
(Thunderous applause and whistles and shouts.)
…
(Curtain call with continuous applause)
(The curtain rises and Uncle Deadly and Fozzie enter with the Mutations in their Spamalot costumes. They bow.)
(Rowlf, Walter and the chorus girls enter and bow, then Gonzo and his chickens.)
(Slim, Lou, and the Oklahoma cast, Rock of Ages and the Electric Mayhem.)
(Finally, Annie Sue and Shana come on to the loudest applause of all. Annie Sue nudges her forward and Shana takes a bow of her own as the rest of the Muppets cheer for her.)
(Kermit enters.)
KERMIT: Well, there you have it folks! Thanks a lot for coming to our tribute show to Broadway. But before we go, let me take a moment to thank our fabulously talented new friend Shana!
(Everyone cheers.)
SHANA: Thank you so much Kermit, this has been a dream come true!
(Scooter comes forward.)
SCOOTER: It's just getting started, Shana! There's some producers from New York who were in the audience tonight, and they want to meet you!
(Shana is shocked, then immediately squeals and goes into hysterics.)
KERMIT: We'll see you next time on The Muppet Show!
(Closing credits)
(The balcony)
WALDORF: Can't they ever do a show we like?
STATLER: If they ever pull that off…hellooo, Dolly!
(They laugh.)
(Zoot blows the sax)
