AN:

Look! I got this posted when I said I would! Yay! Anyway, this one is a little bad, according to me, but I tried my best. Always feel comfortable to send constructive criticism.


Review Responses:

optimistic girl94 - Thank you! Thank you! Thank you for all the sweet and extremely kind reviews! You're so nice to review every single chapter and if you haven't noticed, this one is made after one of the things you requested - the rest is coming, by the way! But, yes, you're so extremely generous for reviewing every single chapter and just being so encouraging throughout, very kind of you. You definitely deserve a million cyber hugs if I could give them to you.

Allison Diamond - Thank you for the kind review! You're so sweet. I always try my best to make things funny when they need to be, which is why this chapter might come off slightly more serious and sensitive than the rest, unlike how it usually is. Thank you, though!

aystar28 - Thank you! ; - ) You're very kind and sweet, and your willingness to review is so generous! All of your requests are coming by the way.


I. crying

Kim knows that Jerry's extremely overly sensitive. She's seen him cry for ridiculous things, and movies that he's seen far too often—Marley & Me and Where the Wild Things Are. It's not even rare to see a tear slip from his eye when he earns himself a large gash on his leg or arm. He's as delicate as a feather.

However, it almost seems people forget the gravity of some things when it comes to Jerry. They seem to skip over certain aspects and immediately flesh him out to be what they think he is, but he's not overly sensitive about everything. There are some serious things, insecurities maybe, to which he cries about when the pressure becomes too much. Perhaps, it's the things he doesn't say or the things he pretends don't really bother him as much as they do, but Jerry is extremely discreet. He is extremely sensitive, but extremely discreet, and he hides the things that really bother him, whether they take their toll on him or not. Because, despite how he takes no shame on being sensitive, sometimes he just finds that it's just easier to keep things to himself.

Kim should know. She used to think he was openly honest about himself—not anymore.

"Jerry?" She peers through the bedroom doorframe, her blonde strands falling towards the wooden floor. She was a little suspicious about the silence hovering in the apartment for the past hour and something didn't sit right in her stomach, so she decided to come and check on him.

He's pacing the room in some white socks and an oversized blue sweater that falls off his shoulders, while the phone between his hand and ear absorbs his attention. She can hear small bits of the conversation and the shouts echoing through the frequency—a scolding?—but the majority is being spoken in Spanish and she immediately relents into trying to decipher the argument. He obviously doesn't want her involved, since he is speaking his native language and doing so effortlessly, and she wouldn't want to budge. She knows how annoying it is for someone else to nudge into her business, and it's been done before. It's just that she just can't seem to let go of that feeling that something's wrong, with him and whoever's on the phone.

"Bueno pues," he exasperatedly sighs, "entonces no sé porque estamos peleando. I mean, I'm doing my best, Ma."

Kim hears the faint voice in the cellphone conversation, and the heavy anger in the person's cords. Immediately, she feels uneasy and twirls on her purple sock covered feet towards the hallway. She shouldn't be listening, but she is, and she's slightly concerned. Jerry doesn't sound too good.

"Estoy tratando! Siempre estoy tratando!" He runs his hand through his hair achingly. "I mean, what else am I supposed to do?—Ma…Ma? You there?"

He sighs and removes his cellphone from his ear, throwing it against the puffy white sheets amongst the bed. His stance, once he turns around, is slightly relieved, but the tension is still evident in his shoulders. He's not over the conversation.

"You okay?" She slowly steps into the small bedroom, each step cautious. Her hands fiddling as she goes.

"Yeah," he croaks lightly, sniffling a little, "I'm fine. I'm just a little tired."

Kim takes a look at him. She notices his shrunken shoulders and shaking palms; along with the way his head is drooping to avoid her eyes. His hair shielding the expression that's probably evident across his face; her concern grows. She's not comfortable with this. He looks more than just tired, and the trembling hands are to show of that. He's hiding something and she wishes he'd just tell her, because she doesn't like this and she doesn't like the feelings he's holding within himself and she just wishes he would open up to her. She just wishes he would at least confide in her, like she would to him…like she would always do to him. They're partners, best friends, for something, right?

"Jerry," she softly says, tangling her arms around his neck, "you know you can tell me anything. What's wrong? What did your mom say?"

"Nothing," he mumbles, wiping at his eyes.

Kim notices the red circles beneath his irises and his wet palms glistening below his eyes—he's crying. He's actually crying. The conversation had left him so angry, that he was actually crying. There have only been a few instances that this has happened and Kim, quickly, feels her heart clench violently inside of her chest. She'd do anything just to see him happy again. Anything.

"Jer," she says again, as soft as demanding can be, "what did your mom say?"

"Just some irrational stuff about me and the fact that I dropped out and—look, Kim, it doesn't matter," he replies, with a lazy shrug and wet eyes. His hair falling into his face ever so often, as he feebly looks at her.

"Irrational? Jerry, you're—just don't listen to her, okay?" Kim delicately moves the strands away from his face, softly brushing his nose and cheeks. Her gesture provokes him to lift his head to meet her eyes, as she does so. "You're a really great guy with amazing capabilities. And, just because you're not good at school and what your mom wants you to be, doesn't mean you aren't as amazing as you think you are. Because, you just—you just are, Jerry. You're just really great and I don't know how to explain why, because there are countless reasons each day, but nothing can take that away from you, nothing, and no one, not even your mom."

Jerry faintly smiles at this—at her words—and his brown eyes swirl with something alike feeling better, something alike relief. "Amazing capabilities, huh?"

"Yeah." She kisses him softly, dragging his lips into a hazy encounter. "Amazing."

The movement is slow and hazy, but he presses into her mouth with ardent affection and fervor. It's almost as if he gives her all the appreciation he can ever give her, into the blurry mess of the kisses he leaves her across her forehead, her nose, lips, and temple. Kim laughs softly in the midst of it all.

"I love you," he mumbles against her lips, tangling his fingers through her hair.

"I love you too," she replies, almost like the lyrics of a song that she can't get enough of.


II. crying

Jerry knows a lot of things about Kim.

He's been there for her through almost all of the difficult years that have tackled her. During high school, when she dealt with the consequences of being a girl in a dojo of boys, and the sexist generalizations of almost everyone—including him, for a tiny while. Or during her gap year, when she realized she really wanted to go far in her karate studies and dealt with the consequences of sexist parents and sexist teachers. Or even during college, when almost everything and anything was hurling her into pressure. She was on the receiving end of expectations and generalizations, which never helped to bring her any closer to her goal—to just be herself.

He remembers when she went out with Jack for a small while, back in high school. She was a little different then, but all the same. Her stubbornness was irritating and her competitive vices could never leave her alone—and she's still just like that—but something changed as time went on. She and Jack grew distant from each other—after years of going after each other all the time—and Kim saw clearer, he guesses. She sort of became her own person, learned some stuff about herself, and she…she grew up.

Now, she has to deal with the consequences, just like him, of growing up. And that's problematic, because that's all she's ever done—deal with consequences.

He hears her sniffling and sobbing sometimes, through the night, underneath the sheets with quiet pleas. She's wiping at her eyes and rubbing at her cheeks, trying to be as silent as she can to avoid waking him up, but she does anyway.

"Kim, Kim, Kim," he tries, grabbing her in his arms, "chica, relax, you're doing fine. You're good, you're fine." He presses his lips against her shaking shoulders.

"I'm tired, I'm so, so tired." Her voice shakes and quivers, while she clamps her hands around the sheets. "I just wish I could breathe, but I can't. It gets so hard—"

"You can, okay? You can breathe with me. You can let me deal with it, because that's what I'm supposed to do." He hooks his leg with hers, while gently colliding both of their knees together. "And, if you want me to carry you, then I'll do that, Kim. But don't do it alone, okay? Breathe with me," Jerry says. His warm hands finding Kim's throughout the sea of white sheets.

"Okay," he hears quietly against him, humming beside his shoulder like a mantra, "okay, okay."

And, it's all he needs to know to remember that she's trying and all he has to do is keep her going. All he has to do is be there for her when no one is and when no one can be. She'll fall every now and then, and it'll be hard, but he'll be there to pick her up when she can't do it alone. Even if, he has to stay up all night just to make sure she's okay, just to make sure that she's breathing. Jerry won't mind nor forsake it, ever—and he'll make sure she remembers that.

"You know that I love you, right?" He tells her, before she slips into slumber.

"Yeah." Her breath hits his shoulders. "I love you too."

And that's enough.