Chapter 7: Hell Frozen Over

Miranda walked toward the Executive Officer's office. This was on the same deck as the mess hall on the port side. She had talked Liara into moving her equipment to the research lab.

She walked into the office and noticed someone followed her in.

"Hey Miranda, are you okay?" asked Ashley in a concerned voice.

"I'm fine," replied Miranda trying to sound professional. "That was quite a speech you gave there, Captain."

"Thanks. Shepard has always teased me about quoting poetry, so I thought I'd use a little Shakespeare."

Miranda was silently standing next to her desk. She had both hands on the desk bracing herself. She had not turned around.

Ashley approached her slowly and noticed she was quietly sobbing.

"Miranda," she put both hands on her shoulders, "you are hurt."

After what seemed like an eternity of silence, Miranda said, "permission to speak freely, Captain?"

"Of course. You don't have to be formal with me in private, Miranda."

"What's wrong?" But as soon as she asked that, Ashley wanted to kick herself. How could she even ask that. She knew the answer.

"I suppose congratulation is in order," said Miranda turning her head to look at Ashley and glanced at the ring. Miranda had noticed the ring the minute Ashley walked into the mess hall.

At that moment, Ashley saw Miranda's face. She had tears streaming down her cheeks, and her eyes were filled with pain. Ashley remembered seeing herself in the mirror after Shepard's death. She recalled the gnawing pain she felt in her stomach, and the thoughts of hopelessness. At one point, she felt only death could deliver her from the unending torture.

What have I done? Ashley thought to herself as she wondered what to say next. She brought Miranda here because she felt she was the most capable person to do the job. She also thought she was helping Miranda by allowing her to be closer to Shepard. But Ashley blamed herself for being naive and careless. What was I thinking? I wasn't thinking. Could I bear watching John be with another woman after I gave my life for him? Could I watch that other woman wear an engagement ring? What would I be thinking?

"Miranda, I'm so sorry. I did not mean to hurt you like this. You must hate me right now, " said Ashley, wondering if Miranda was going to pummel her with her biotic powers. Shepard had told her about the altercation between Miranda and Jack after the Teltin facility mission.

"I... I can't stay here, " Miranda managed to say. "It was a mistake. I.. I have to go."

Miranda turned to go, but Ashley held her by the shoulders, "Miranda, please. Don't go. I'm sorry about all of this. But I need you on this ship. The Normandy needs you."

Ashley had pushed Miranda back such that she's now sitting on the desk. Miranda put her face in her hands and started to cry. Ashley desperately said, "Just don't go anywhere!"


Ashley walked quickly out of the office trying to keep composure. She called for Shepard to meet her in the medical bay on the starboard side. Shepard was still talking to Garrus, Vega and Wrex and didn't hear her.

She barked, "Shepard!" and motioned him to the medical bay.

Shepard got up and walked over.

Vega joked, "Don't forget to salute."


Shepard walked into the medical bay laughing, "It's great to see the guys again."

Ashley was not laughing. Shepard knew something was wrong but don't know if it was something he did or something terrible had happened.

"What's wrong?"

"It's Miranda," said Ashley as she started to pace a bit.

"I've never seen you like this. Slow down. What's going on?"

"She saw my ring and now she is crying and wants to leave the ship."

"What? Miranda crying?", said Shepard. He was about to say, has hell frozen over? But held his tongue when he saw Ashley's stoic face.

"You are serious. Okay. Why is she reacting like this?"

"John Shepard, you cannot possibly be this dense!"

"Wait, why are you angry at me?" Shepard replied in a state of complete surprise.

"John, I maybe your lover, but I am a woman."

"Yes you are." John agreed, wondering where she was going with this. She is usually very angry or very happy when she uses his full name, and at this moment, it looks like she's very angry.

"Miranda loves you!" Ashley blurted.

"But I told you I loved you more than anyone. I thought we had this conversation on the shuttle."

At this point, Shepard and Ashley were both animated throwing arms around, and pointing at each other. Garrus, Wrex and Vega were looking from the mess hall. The medical bay's windows were visible from there. It was, luckily, sound proof.

"When Miranda saw the ring, she knew you asked me to marry you. You are the reason she lives. The hope of being with you is what kept her going. You are the reason that she went to London to fight the final battle. You are the reason she was willing to die during surgery. John, do you see?"

Shepard was quiet but listening to everything Ashley was saying. He didn't know what was harder to believe - the words that Ashley was saying, or the fact that it was Ashley that was saying it.

"As a woman, I know what it feels like to lose your lover. To see him die and have no hope of being with him, ever. John, when she saw the ring on my finger, it might as well be me pulling the trigger on her or blowing you out of the airlock!"

John remained silent for a long moment, then said, "Okay Ash, I hear what you are saying. I don't pretend to understand a woman's heart completely but I'm hearing you. My only question is why are you angry at me? Did you pull me in here to tell me this? And why do you care so much for Miranda?"

"John," Ash said as she turned her back toward him. She was now looking straight at the mess hall and realizes there are crew members out there looking in.

She quickly turned around to face Shepard, "I can't fully explain to you why I'm this upset. I just feel connected to Miranda somehow. Maybe it's this thing that we women share. But when I saw her face, I knew her pain. I actually felt that pain in me. I remembered that pain all too well and would not want anyone to go through that. I feel even more terrible because I'm the one that asked her to come to Normandy, I gave that speech to the crew about her, and then I show up with a ring...it's like rubbing her face in it. I don't know how to fix this."

"Ash, look at me. I love you. What do you want me to do?"

"I want you to go in there and talk to her, and comfort her."

"What? How am I going to do that? "

"I don't know, but just do something before she leaves."

"Maybe it's for the better. Maybe it's for the better that she left, Ash."

"John. How can you say that about the woman that saved your life twice!"

"Is this even a real conversation?" Shepard was starting to show a little frustration.

"What do you want me to do? Tell her I love her? Tell her everything is going to be okay and we'll all live happily ever after? What do you expect is going to happen when I go in there?"

As Shepard was talking, he saw Miranda coming out of her office and walking briskly toward the elevator. She entered the elevator and the doors closed.

Shepard ran after her, but he barely made it out of the medical bay when he felt a sharp jolting pain throughout both legs and up his spine. The pain was so strong and so sudden that he dropped to the ground. Ashley ran over and tried to pick him up. Vega and Garrus saw him go down and ran over as well.

"John, are you okay?" asked Ashley in a panicked voice.

"I think so. I ... my legs just gave out," said Shepard as he turned on his back in obvious pain.

"Where's Miranda?"

"Miss Lawson has just left the Normandy in a shuttle," replied EDI.

"EDI. Track where it lands and report back to me!" commanded Ashley.

"Yes, Captain.".

"And EDI. Please ask Dr. Chakwas to return to the Normandy."