Btw ASTRUM MEANS STAR IN LATIN

Edward's POV

I was making my way to the lunch room still in a daze. I had finally had a proper conversation with Bella. I was right, she was smart and her voice sent calming waves all though my body; it was the most amazing sound in the world.

Walking through the crowded corridors, I ignored the normal stares and stupid giggles from girls and just continued to replay our conversation in my head over and over again. I finally conjured up enough confidence to sit next to her. After speaking to her this morning I couldn't not speak to her again; it would kill me.

I guess I just got a burst of luck that we had to partner up today. Normally I dreaded it as girls saw this as an opportunity to flirt with me and never actually ended up doing the work. The conversation usually went like this - her fixing her make up trying to engage me in conversation about how great we would go together while I ignored her and did the work myself. This was up till about two years ago when I just decided that it wasn't worth having a partner and the teachers just let me be considering I get good grades and can handle the work perfectly fine on my own. Still, this didn't mean they didn't try at every chance they got.

It surprised not only Bella, but myself also when I asked to be her partner. She looked shocked beyond belief and I found that a little endearing; who wouldn't want to be her partner?

For once in my life I was in high spirits about English and I couldn't help but be intrigued by her. I noticed that she had a different way of looking at things. For example, the way she described the love between Romeo and Juliet was eye opening for me.

She really was something never in my life had I ever thought of love in that kind of way. I always saw their love as a shallow kind of attraction. It was clear she had read the book more than once with the kind of understanding she had, which was hardly from the few chapters we had skimmed in class. This just made me want her even more. She liked classics, if I had to guess, and all it did was prove to me more than ever how special she is.

As I pushed open the doors of Forks High's cafeteria, I couldn't help but notice how the girls pulled out their compact mirrors to check their reflection while the guys sat back lazily trying to portray the image of a cool and collected front. Just looking at it made me sick.

You would think that I was royalty or something. Didn't they understand I am just like them? Why make such an effort it just embarrassed me and gave Emmett another chance to poke fun at me? As usual, I declined the many offers to sit at people's lunch tables and sat down at my normal table occupied by my family.

Just after I greeted everyone, the noise level noticeably increased proving further point on how sad some of these people were.

"Jeeze Edward, anyone would think you're royalty with the way people reacted to your presence. It's ... creepy," hollered Emmett over the now loud buzzing noise of gossip.

"Leave him alone, Emmett. It's not like our little Edward can control how much everyone is in love with him. Honestly, even the guys are trying to impress you now and that is weird." Alice started off in a teasing tone but ended in a freaked out one, much like the rest of us she found it diabolical as to the way people treated me around here.

As I was about to comment, she walked in and my breath was all but knocked out of me. Entering now was the light of my life. The reason for me coming in everyday. The only thing that kept me bound here. Bella. My beautiful Bella. She was like a star to me, before I met her everything was toneless much the way it is at night, but that's before she came here lighting up my life the way the stars light up the dark. She was my own personal star; my Astrum.

An unconscious smile spread across my face; it was like I had no control over it. It was just her, she made my day just by being here. Unfortunately my family decided to pick this day to be observant.

"Yo, Edward, dude what you smiling at?" I heard the words, but I couldn't reply so I ignored Jasper and continued to stare at the woman who held my heart and didn't even know it.

Rosalie coughed but that still couldn't break me out of my trance so Emmett decided to take into his own hands. Ouch. He kicked me under the table.

That woke me up.

"Emmett, what the hell?" I demanded, though I was still staring. She was in perfect eye shot and I was not about to miss my chance at the best view in the world over Emmett's stupid antics.

"Sorry dude, but I thought you were losing your mind. You were like a frozen statue smiling all goofy." I quickly averted my gaze to the table slightly embarrassed at being caught.

"So, Edward, what were you staring at so intently?" Alice asked me innocently, but I could see the undeniable knowledge that hid behind her little facade. "You looked like a kid in a candy store - no worse, you looked like Emmett in a candy store."

I pulled my eyes up from the table and glared at her muttering a small nothing.

But of course she couldn't accept that answer and it looked like none of them would until I spilled my guts so I purposely tried to change the subject by asking about Jasper and our history homework, but even that didn't work.

"Don't try to change the subject Edward." Was all he replied and I just kept my head down glaring at the offensive table beneath me.

"Oh look, Jazz, you made him blush!" Rosalie exclaimed.

"Am not!" I answered stubbornly. Although I'm fairly sure I was.

But still I couldn't help and glance up at my favourite sight in the world my star; my Astrum. Due to my weakness at being unable to keep my gaze away, they all followed my gaze and turned back to me with amused expressions.

"Oh, I see," commented Emmett. "We wouldn't be checking out a certain brunette, now would we?" He asked in a sly manner with that same glint of mischief Alice constantly had.

I quickly ducked my head again now even more embarrassed.

I could hear everyone else try to muffle their laughter. They turned to stare at Bella as she turned the page of the book she was reading while the other two people that sat at her lunch table, Angela and Ben, sat eating and talking between them. Unable to help myself, I glanced up just as she tucked some of her brown curls behind her ear.

Like the magnificent creature she was, I found my breath catching, she was so beautiful it should be illegal. Everyone else must have heard my gasp because they all turned their smirking gazes back to me.

"Ooh, Eddie has a crush," Rosalie sniggered.

I literally had to tear my gaze away from God's greatest creation to glare at her. "First of all do not call me Eddie and second I do not have a crush." Of course not, I thought to myself, more like in love.

"Right Eddie." Emmett didn't even flinch at the dirty look I gave him. "Why don't you just ask her out?"

"Ask who out?" I asked deciding it was best to play dumb.

"Hot brown-haired chick," Emmett replied in a 'Duh' kind of tone.

"Bella," I automatically corrected. Only then did I realize my mistake, but not before I saw Rosalie slap him round the head.

"HA! You do like her!" Emmett exclaimed rubbing his sore spot. The action caused a few heads to turn and the girls to start fixing their hair obviously hoping Emmett was talking about them.

"Keep it down Emmett!" I hissed as I rolled my eyes.

"So, do you like her?" This is why I liked Jasper, he actually asked instead of shouting. Even with this, I wasn't going to be honest. She'd never like me back and I really didn't feel like admitting that I'm hopelessly in love with someone who I've had a grand total of 2 conversations with.

"No Jazz, I don't like her." It wasn't a total lie; I don't like her I love her.

"Well, I saw you sticking up for her in the hall earlier. What was that about, you never get involved in stupid bitchy cat fights?" Alice shot at me

"That's because there was only one bitch. Bella is way too pure and innocent to be mulled by Lauren," I said with distaste in my voice.

"How do you know?" Asked Jasper.

"Have you met Lauren?" I questioned. Surely he has noticed the girl was the biggest bitch on the Earth.

"No, that's not what I meant. I know Lauren's a bitch the friggin' plastic bottle knows that," he said while picking up said plastic bottle. "I meant, how do you know that Bella girl isn't a bitch too, most girls in this school are?"

"I just know ok." I was getting a little annoyed now. Why were we spending the whole lunch speaking about my love life?

That's when the angel stood up and left the room, without my permission my eyes stayed glued to her the whole way.

"Well, I think she's pretty," stated Alice.

Instinctively, I jumped to her defence. "Pretty? Seriously, Alice? That's like calling a lion slow."

She looked a little confused. Is she blind or are we not looking at the same person here? I sighed and before I could control it, the next words were out of my mouth. "She's gorgeous."

Emmett let out a booming laugh at my confession and I knew I'd never live that one down, but before I could dwell too much on it Jasper started firing off questions at me.

"If you think so and you say she's nice why don't you ask her out?" I could tell he was genuinely confused. It's not every day I talk about girls like that.

"Jazz, have you looked at her? Gorgeous doesn't even do her justice not to mention she's smart and kind, did I mention amazingly beautiful?" I mean did he even see her; she is way out of my league.

"Wait, you think you're not good enough?" Questioned Rosalie.

"Without a doubt, there's no way somebody like her could ever like somebody like me." Admitting it was even more embarrassing, but at least it will make them drop it.

"Wow. Edward, are you crazy? Take a look around, every darn girl in this school wants you even some of the guys too apparently." At this point Emmett could no longer hold in his snigger.

"You don't get it, Em. I'm not good enough for her - no one is good enough, she's just too perfect." Right now I sounded like someone had killed my puppy.

"Dude, you sound like you're in love with her or something." Emmett sounded like he was startled not that I blame him. I go from ignoring every female in this dump to being in love with someone in two seconds flat; it's not like he would know how much I've loved her for two years.

I didn't want to reply to his last statement so I didn't. Instead, I just got up muttering a quick good bye before heading to lesson.

That had to be one of the most bittersweet moments of my life; it's like watching a snowstorm. You get to watch the beauty, but it's gonna bite you in the arse the next day. That's the best comparison I could come up with. I got to watch my beautiful Bella, my star - my Astrum - but I know that when I get home I'll never hear the end of this.

I know because it's extremely uncommon for me not just to like a girl, but to protect her, defend her. But how could I not, she's so amazing sometimes I wish she could be a little like the other girls who seem to want me and show interest. At least then I would know and could ask her out, but this is tearing me apart.

Not speaking to her and not being able to hold her causing me physical pain. Now that I've spoken to her and now that I know what it feels like to hold her, it's making it that much harder for me. I want her. I want her so bad but she doesn't like me.

I have to admit that that hurts. It hurts knowing she doesn't want me. It hurts knowing she'll never love me, but what hurts the most is that I know she'll find someone else.

Someone she will want to be with and someone she will love. To be honest I don't think I could stand it if that happened; there would be no way I'd stick around to see that.

Agh . . . I hate this. I hate not having her. I've never wanted someone in all my life. There have always been girls wanting me, but the one person I do want has no interest for me. She doesn't want me. Do you know what else I want? I want to know what she wants and become that for her. I want to know everything about her.

Her favourite colour. Her favourite book. What are her dreams and her ambitions? What are her fears? I want to know so that I can protect her from such. I can make sure no one ever has the chance to hurt her. But I know I'll never get that.

I know she'll never want me. As I made my way into AP biology, the only other class I share with my Astrum, I couldn't help but think if she only did want me; if only she ever could love me . . . if only.

AN- hey I'm loving the responses I'm getting thank you for all your reviews. I would like a special shout out to my beta you rock. Guys I love all the suggestions I'm getting but I would love to be able to respond to them guess who I'm talking about... GUESS WHO. Thanks to everyone who reviewed and I hope to see what you think this time. Until next time my friends....