A/N: Wow I am sorry I am so sorry please don't kill me! I have no valid excuse for not posting this sooner except I COULD NOT THINK OF WHAT TO WRITE! As a consequence, this might not be the best of chapters. Regardless, I hope you enjoy.
Alec POV
The first thing that registered in my mind as I awoke was pain. My head was throbbing and my throat was dry- the telltale signs of a hangover. I shifted slightly and immediately froze as my lower half seized up, aching like each of my muscles had been beaten with a steak tenderiser. Groaning, I rolled over and came face to face with a sleeping Magnus. I jumped a little, still slightly sleep-disorientated. His makeup formed black panda eyes where it had been smudged, and his longer-than-usual hair fell across his face, looking windswept and tangled. The duvet was pulled back slightly, revealing his bare back; he was asleep on his front. His shoulder blades were prominent, and I could just about see the ridges of his spine. On either side of it were vicious red lines. Scratches. Some even broke the skin. Blushing, I looked at my fingernails. Sure enough, a few were encrusted with tiny amounts of blood. Bracing myself, I sat up and swung my legs over the edge of the bed, looking down at my body. I needed a shower. Badly.
Trying not to wake Magnus, I pushed myself up into my feet, wincing as my abused legs shook, and took a few, very careful steps to the door. My body protested, but I continued, opening the door to the bathroom as quietly as possible and stepping in, closing it behind me. Once in, I started the shower running and found a clean towel. When the water was sufficiently heated, I stepped in. It was a large shower, plenty of space to move around in, and I stretched out each of my limbs, testing them. My arms seemed fine, but my legs and lower back were incredibly sore. I thought back. The details of the previous night were hazy, but I remembered enough to make me blush, and all the evidence was there anyway.
The hot water was soothing and washed the tension from my body. I found some shampoo- citrus scented, I noticed; he'd probably gone off sandalwood since our breakup- and began to wash my hair.
I was rinsing the bubbles out when I heard the door open. I could see a dark shape through the steamed-up screen. It approached, pulled back the screen, and a very naked Magnus Bane stepped into the shower beside me. I had to stop my eyes from moving downwards as he smirked and ran a hand through his now wet hair.
"Morning sweet pea." I tried to roll my eyes and turn the other way as if this didn't bother me at all, but the shower head was now spraying water directly into my face, and I quickly turned back, rubbing my eyes in shame.
"I thought I said no to that one."
"Sorry biscuit, it just slipped out." I glared at him as venomously as I could manage. He grinned.
"Why are you in here, anyway? Couldn't you wait your turn?" He shrugged.
"Plenty of room, isn't there? Besides, this is so much more entertaining." His eyes travelled over my body, taking it all in appreciatively. I crossed my arms.
"Don't think that just because of last night you can get away with this. I still need time."
He sighed. "Alright, but even if we're not really together, we're not really not together either, are we? We're in a sort of..." He waved his hand around in an abstract motion, "relationship limbo, if you like." I rolled my eyes. "Now come here. You need cleaning up." He picked up a bottle of body wash and squirted some into his palm.
"Magnus, really? I'm perfectly capable of washing myself."
"Yeah but you'll enjoy it more if I do it." He winked, water dripping off dark eyelashes. I huffed, but let him touch me. He ran his soapy hands over my chest, lathering up my skin and washing away the remnants of last night's activities. His touch was light, and it tickled slightly. His hands trailed over my chest, my shoulders, down my back. They rested for a moment at the base of my spine, and he pulled me close. My skin was slick against his, nothing but a thin layer of soap between us. I tried to push him away half-heartedly, but he held me against him. "What are we doing, Alexander? Why are we making this so difficult?" He looked down at me with sad eyes, eyes that held long years of disappointment and tragedy. I was shocked to see so much emotion in them, when he'd been making jokes just moments before. It was the first time I truly understood what he'd been through. What I put him through. I could see he loved me, and every rejection pushed the knife in a little bit deeper. He was good at hiding it, but when he chose to show it, like now, he showed everything. Suddenly I felt guilty.
"Magnus..."
"Alec, don't. Don't make excuses. I know. I know I hurt you. But don't lie and say you don't want this. You don't want me. Last night, you told me you loved me. And if there's one thing I've learned, it's that drunk words are sober thoughts."
"Magnus, I..." I didn't know what to say. He put a finger to my lips, silencing me. Then he leaned down, gold-green eyes sad but hopeful, and kissed me. I was unresponsive, unsure of what to do as his arm encircled my waist, pressing my body up against his, his other hand going up to my neck, fingers in my hair. He kissed me gently but desperately, trying to elicit a reaction. I was having a mental battle with myself. Part of me wanted to push him away, to tell him he couldn't force me into something I wasn't ready for. The other part wanted to wrap my arms around his neck and kiss him as passionately as I could, to tell him I loved him and to never let him go again. I could feel water dripping down my cheeks, running over my eyelashes. After quite some time, and still no reaction from me, he broke off.
"Alec?" I looked down, unable to meet his eyes. "Alec, please say something. Tell me how you feel."
"I..." My hands were on his chest, tracing the familiar patterns of his abs. "I want you, but there's too many complications. Our relationship has been difficult. I just feel like you don't trust me, or maybe I don't trust you. And... I can't just forget the fact that you broke the law to bring me back. By all rights I shouldn't be here right now. I should be dead. That's a big deal."
"But why can't we work through it together? It's obvious we both want this, and yes, we have problems, but we're only going to add to them if we try and stay apart. I need you, Alec. I've never been this dependant on another person before. It scares me, because I know exactly what would happen if I lost you, because it's already happened. And I fought for you, and I got you back, and I can't lose you again. You're the only thing holding me together. So I'm asking you to help me. To fix me. Please. If we work together we can make it work. And I promise I'll tell you all I can. Anything you ask." I'd never seen him like this before, so desperate. I knew he was being open with me, in a way he rarely ever was. But I, being me, and terrible with words, could not fathom what I could possibly say to make it better. So I didn't say anything. I put my arms around him and hugged him tightly, burying my face in his shoulder. I could feel his heartbeat against my own, his thin body warm in my arms. He hugged me back, and we stayed like that for a while, before I let go.
"You know, we've been in here for ages. Your water bill's gonna skyrocket."
"Honestly, Alexander, the water bill's the last thing on my mind right now." Even so, he picked up the bottle of body wash once more. Before he could squirt some on his hand, though, I took it from him. "I think it's my turn." Applying a liberal amount and lathering it up slightly between my palms, I began to wash him, scrubbing every inch of his skin clean. He had closed his eyes, and seemed to be enjoying the feeling of my hands on his body. I smiled slightly, feeling mischievous, and wanting to make up for my previous behavior. I wondered how much I could get away with, as I ran my soapy hand between his legs. He gasped. "Alexander..."
"What? We have to get all of you clean." I did it again. He looked down at me, one eyebrow raised. "Is this your way of saying yes?" I struggled to find a decent reply, blushing furiously and mentally tripping over myself.
"I guess I'm okay with trying."
He gave me a long look of both exasperation and joy. "You know, Alexander, there are much more eloquent ways of saying you want to get back with your boyfriend."
"I'm not good with words." I bit my lip. "Are you objecting?" I pulled my hand away, but he quickly grabbed my wrist and put it back.
"I never said that." I smiled and pulled him closer. His hands moved over my body, down over my back, my arse, to my thighs. Then, without warning, he picked me up, pushing my back against the wall and moving closer so I was pinned there by his body. I gasped at the cold temperature of the tiles in contrast to the water, but wrapped my legs around his waist happily, feeling his already half-hard state. He kissed me gently, and I teased knots out of his long hair. When I broke the kiss, he moved down to my throat. He bit down on my pulse point, and I bit my lip at the sensation.
"I'm still sore from yesterday, you know."
"What, down here?" His hand slid up from my thigh to my arse, and I nodded. "Aww, poor baby. You know what'll make it better?" As I looked up, he grinned, growling slightly. "Making it worse." He pushed a soap-slicked finger inside me. I moaned as he found my prostate almost immediately. He grazed my earlobe with his teeth. "I love those little noises you make." My eyelids fluttered, my head back against the wall. He fingered me roughly, enticing more moans out of me.
"Ma... Magnus... More..." I implored him. He dragged his fingertips over that spot, his fingernails creating intense sensations that wracked my body. I pulled at his hair, feeling his hipbones digging into my thighs where my legs wrapped around his waist. He added another finger, then another, and I could feel myself stretching to accommodate him. It hurt, but it was a delicious pain. As he constantly teased my prostate, I found myself moving against him, finding friction by grinding my body on his, although I wanted more. I wanted him inside me. I voiced as much, and he grinned, pulling out his fingers and lowering his face to mark my throat as he pushed me up higher, teasing my entrance with the head of his dick. I bit my lip to keep from crying out, my whole body screaming for contact. He bit down hard on a spot just above my collarbone, prompting a gasp out of me. I didn't want to wait anymore. I tried to move, but he had me pinned. He grinned wickedly, reaching a hand between us to stroke me too gently, knowing it was enough to set my nerves tingling, but not enough to satisfy. I squirmed against him, moving as much as I could in order to get more friction, but it wasn't enough. Magnus leaned down.
"What do you want?" His voice was husky.
"I... I want you..." My own voice shook with lust and desperation.
"Beg for me." His eyes sparked. I bit my lip, meeting his gaze imploringly. A smile twitched at the corner of his mouth.
"Magnus... Please..." I whined, leaning forward, aching to kiss him. Still we made eye contact, and I knew he loved it when I did this. "Magnus... I need you... Please, give it to me..." I felt him twitch, a whole new level of lust igniting inside him, and, all of a sudden, he let me fall. I screamed, his entire length filling me as he pushed into me. I felt the cool tiles sliding against my skin as he took me up against the wall. His arms wrapped around my thighs, supporting my weight as he thrust against me. I still burned from last night, and now he added to that, my insides hugging his length tightly. My nerves sparked every time he moved, and I moaned in time with his thrusts. He kissed me roughly, messily. I responded in kind. I felt his fingernails dig into my thighs, his movements getting harder, faster. Almost subconsciously, I found myself stroking my own length, gasping into the kiss as I touched all the right places. Magnus ravaged my throat with his teeth, pure passion in his expression. My back arched off the tiles as I felt the tension inside me build. My head fell back, banging against the wall as I moaned his name. He kissed the sensitive spot below my ear, and I felt a shiver run through me. Magnus pushed into me harder, deeper, and I felt the strain on the insides of my thighs as he spread my legs wider. "Magnus... Please..." He knew what I wanted, and shifted his angle, hitting just the right spot. It payed off as I screamed, feeling almost like I'd been electrocuted. The built up tension peaked, and I let go, coming all over us. But still he didn't stop, and I could only scream his name as his every movement sent new shock waves through me. I felt like I would black out as he finally exploded inside me, and I launched into a second orgasm. His scream joined mine. I felt him buckle, dropping me. Fortunately, I found my feet, despite the weakness in my legs. I was surprised we were able to stay standing, even as we leaned against the wall, panting heavily. He grinned at me. I felt a small smile flicker across my features.
"You're not off the hook, you know." The steadiness of my voice took me by surprise. He rolled his eyes.
"Neither are you." There was a pause as we glared at each other, then we both cracked up, laughing at our state, laughing at our foolishness and our reckless love. And in that moment, I was happier than I had been in a long time.
Okay so the good news is I've been planning ahead - and I mean like REALLY far ahead - so all I have to do is write it out. Hopefully I'll pick up the pace, but I'm not gonna make any promises cuz I have all sort of exams and stuff over the next week, at least. But I'll try and write whenever I can!
