This one is sorta short, doesn't really make sense, but it's kind of a preview for an AU I'm working on. Enjoy!


"You can't just shove a zombie through a wall!"

Luffy frowned, tilting his head at Sanji like he didn't get it. And he probably didn't, the idiot. Sighing, Sanji tugged on the kid's cheek, desperate to instill some sort of manners into him. He'd thought he understood before why Sabo and Ace had never managed to get this kid to do anything he didn't want to do.

It was like talking to a brick wall.

"Are you listening, Luffy? You can't do that! That was a person under all that makeup!"

"But Usopp and Chopper got scared," Luffy protested, his frown slipping into a pout.

Sanji smacked his forehead. Actually put hand to head because of the sheer ridiculousness of this situation. But that was Luffy for you. He took ridiculous and multiplied it by a thousand. Sanji knew that as a long as Luffy was in his life, he'd never have another normal day as long as he lived.

"It was a fucking haunted house, Luffy," Sanji told him, holding the boy's dark eyes with his visible one. This could be life or death. "He was dressed as a zombie. In a haunted house. That we went into. To get scared. Get it yet?"

"No." Luffy shrugged and looked at Zoro, who had watched the entire exchange with some kind of bored indifference. Like none of this mattered. The shitty mosshead. "Zoro!" Luffy whined. "I can hit the zombies if they scare us, right?"

Zoro just yawned. "I don't care. Just make sure you don't send them to the hospital. Ace'll kill you if you're loaded with a stranger's hospital bills."

Luffy's proud expression soon turned to horror as he considered that prospect. "Oh no." He immediately whirled around towards the haunted house, twitching horribly like he was about to make the shittiest decision of his life and run back in there. "Oh no oh no oh no. Where's that zombie! I gotta make sure he's alright!"

Sanji slapped his forehead again. One more time for good measure. "Idiots," he muttered. "I'm surrounded by complete and total idiots."