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The blanket attacked T'Pol like a wild animal, wrapping her throat and pinning her arms. In a blackness as deep as space, she fought back with her last ounce of sanity.
And lost.
Sitting up in bed, T'Pol ordered, "Lights on fifty percent."
The room was as cool as Lograbe Desert at dawn. She liked it that way for sleeping but it would be cold on the cabin's deck. Slipping on a heavy black robe, T'Pol lowered herself to the untidy pile of thin cushions she'd left two hours ago.
With a Human flamer from the galley she lit a Vulcan punk then used the smoldering punk to light the candle. Vulcans didn't demand instantaneous fire from a meditation candle, they cajoled it.
"Lights out," T'Pol ordered and, "Disregard open flame."
Since her childhood, meditation had provided T'Pol with answers and understanding. The ritual identification and disposal of emotions cleansed her mind for the next day. Tonight for the first time in twenty or more years, T'Pol had not been able to complete her meditation ritual.
She glanced at the backlit chrono. on her desk. C watch began in less than two hours, but a Vulcan meditation couldn't be hurried. And she had yet to find an answer to the problem Vulcan High Command had posed.
Once again she reviewed her day.
The five hours she'd spent working in the situation room. Captain Archer also used the sit. room frequently. Even though he hadn't been there she could smell his coffee stains on the floor and feel him in the entry pad's loose keys. It had made her hair fluff up, a Vulcan reaction to subliminal sexual stimulation.
T'Pol's hair lay smooth now. She cast a single dark strand on the candle and the sharp stench of hot copper and burnt hair filled the room.
The swagger as she'd walked with Ms. Hotaka and Mr. Manseker to the shuttle bay and bade them farewell. And her deep breathing afterwards to clear their scent out of her lungs. Maintenance Crewman Brown had assured T'Pol that the Enterprise re-breather fully recycled the air every twelve hours.
T'Pol's hadn't notice the satisfied swing in her walk until she'd stopped in the level three head and glanced in the mirror. Brushing a hand over her legs, T'Pol made a tossing motion toward the sputtering candle.
The quietly thumping footsteps as T'Pol had walked the corridor toward the Captain's office, her perfunctory nod at the departing orderly and her step inside. She'd been taking C watch to minimize such intimate one-on-one meetings.
Dry mouthed fear. Release the fear, T'Pol ordered her body. She spit a tiny drop of saliva into her hand and stroked it down the candle.
The easing tension as T'Pol had secretly watched Captain Archer stare at the speeding stars. His face had held a million questions. Jon Archer never tired of questions.
A warmth as comfortable as a Vulcan meditation robe. T'Pol's hands took thick fistfuls of hers and held tight. She'd keep this feeling. The decision slipped past her resolve to be rid of all emotions.
The tinkling in T'Pol's chest somewhere near her left ventricle when the Captain had banged his head.
Affection as warm as an embrace. Meditation discipline demanded forfeit of every feeling, good or bad, but T'Pol wavered. She'd be keeping this one too.
The bonfire that always boiled in T'Pol's blood whenever Captain Archer focused on her.
Passion, lust. It burned far hotter than this lone candle, hotter than a room filled with candles.
The icy chill when the Captain had held out the Vulcan communiqué. Humans used pressed wood pulp only for the gravest official matters.
Cascading confusion, anxiety, chaos.
T'Pol's emotions refused to disband, dissolve, disintegrate.
Each of tonight's meditations had ended here, with the choice she had to make.
Go or stay? Vulcan or human?
Was T'Pol still Vulcan enough to command a Vulcan crew? Was she Human enough to fully embrace their ways?
If T'Pol declined the High Command's offer, there'd never be another.
Captain Archer's team spirit or the Vulcan's logical chain of command?
Humans or Vulcans?
Emotions or logic?
The candle went out.
And on we go to the further adventures of the Enterprise crew!
