The…Other Girl


Note: I've changed "Kiss Kiss" to "Lovely Kiss" because that just sounds better


That idiot. They're all a bunch of idiots. Every single one of them. Nami clutches Sanji's jacket closer and watches as the chair is carried up the hill. What is he still doing with that lady? She just can't figure it out. The one thing she does know is that suddenly there is trouble. Trouble enough to make Luffy act really strange and quiet… Well strange and quiet until they got far enough away from Lady Agnes' house and dragging Franky, Chopper and Usopp with him on the quest for some weird ship in the bay. Trouble enough to make Robin go back to the Thousand Sunny to stand guard, and probably to keep away from the lunatics for a while. What kind of trouble it is, though, she has no idea and no one else seems to know either but then they never do know how much trouble they're in until they're in it.

As for Zoro…she just can't figure it out. She knew Zoro couldn't be after the extra beri. Neither is she, really, not exactly, kind of sort of, it had just slipped out. But it's not about that anyway. If it was, he wouldn't have said it wasn't. It is probably some scheme he and Luffy cooked up together. Something weird and moronic that could have been solved if someone sensible had been around to knock their heads together. Not that it would have mattered with them. They would have just done whatever they wanted anyway. It's just the fact that he has to spend more time with that woman. And if their positions had been reversed… if it had been her having to…let herself… If she'd have known it would go this way…

"Nami-san?" Sanji says, sounding concerned. Nami smiles and straightens.

"Just thinking, that's all," she says, staring after the retreating palanquin. "What is that idiot doing?" It's mostly a rhetorical question. She doesn't really expect Sanji to answer. She's not even sure that Sanji really knows. He's staring up the road now, just like she is, face impassive, smoking. Obviously lost in his own thoughts and maybe a little…worried? It is weird to see him like that. As if, for the moment, she doesn't exist. And it's not that she minds, per se. It's just that with everyone acting so weird already… and not knowing what the hell is going on… and not even with a particular goal in mind… It almost made her wish that some goons wielding weapons would pop out of the forest and attack so Sanji could fight and Zoro could fight and they could do what they did best and get themselves out of the situation with fists flying.

"I guess they're far enough away now," Nami says, pretending that is the reason why she has been so quiet. "That woman is so rude…" she says.

"Not everyone can be as charming as you, Nami-san," Sanji says brightly and Nami smiles as things slide back into the usual routine. She starts up the hill, almost immediately annoyed at her shoes. They are new and look great but a thinner heel than she is used to and not made for hiking.

Charming, he'd said. Just Sanji being Sanji. Though how charming could she be if she'd just about sold one of her nakama… But she hadn't thought it would be like that. All she was thinking was a mildly annoying night where Zoro got by with at least being relatively good looking while a gooseheaded woman rambled on about nothing in particular.

But this…Lady Agnes was… If that idiot let anything weird happen to him up there she is never going to forgive him. Fighting and getting his head knocked in was one thing, he is used to that, but this— and if something does— but he's strong enough to break her in half so why would it? But tonight has gotten so weird that anything seems possible. She is wrenched from her thoughts when an unexpected dip in the ground makes her trip but Sanji grabs her elbow steadying her before she can fall, before her heart jumps into her throat, even.

"Thanks, Sanji-kun," she says, giving him a small smile. "It's these stupid shoes." Just the shoes. Not anything else. Sanji's serious expression doesn't change which is so weird she feels her heart skip a beat.

"Don't worry about Zoro," he says. "He's not going to do anything he doesn't want to."

Did…Did Sanji really know what she was thinking or….

"As for your shoes, don't worry about them, either," Sanji continues, then sweeps his arms wide. "Instead, please allow me to carry you!"

And she almost laughs because he really is as transparent as glass most of the time. Idiot, she thinks, but fondly. They're all idiots but they are her idiots.

"No thank you, Sanji-kun," she says, but awarding him with a brighter smile than usual to soften the rejection. It works, of course, since unlike most men, Sanji takes a 'no' almost as well as a 'yes' so long as a feminine voice is saying it. Probably even better, Nami reasons as she resumes walking. She couldn't even imagine what he'd do if she'd accepted one of his advances. Probably die of a heart attack.

After twenty minutes more and aching calves, Nami was beginning to regret not taking Sanji up on his offer. The hill was steeper than it looked and it was colder up here, too. Despite Sanji's jacket, her legs were still bare and she wished she'd wore something a little longer. She's faintly aware that for the rest of her nakama this hill wouldn't be a problem. But then again, to most of her nakama, a group of marines bristling with swords was just a stroll in the park. She stops, resting her legs again and considering just saying the hell with it. The baby DenDen 'puru's from Sanji's pocket and she stiffens then realizes it must be Usopp. Since she'd already gone ahead and taken two she'd given the other one to him just in case he found out what was going on.

She takes the DenDen out of the pocket and pauses as she realizes that there might be others that she doesn't know about. Well she won't speak right away. Maybe she'll hear something useful. Sanji has stopped walking and is watching her. Nami holds up a hand for silence and lifts the tiny DenDen. There is quiet on the other end, too, though she can hear the faint sound of breathing. What in the… Unless it is Usopp who had the same thoughts she had and was just being cautious.

"Usopp?" she says, hoping it is, but even if it isn't Sanji's here so it's not as if anything can happen to her.

"Ah, Nami, I'm relieved," Usopp says. "I thought I was going to have to come and save you."

"What's going on?" Nami asks.

"Uhh, well the truth is I don't know. There is a strange looking ship but it's anchored too far to make anything out. Luffy wants to steal a paddle boat and go out to it but I convinced him it's better for us to guard the shore."

Better? Try safer and Nami doubts he really convinced Luffy of anything but, never mind.

"Do you even know what we're looking for?" Nami asks.

"I've asked him and he says he doesn't know, just that it's strange around here," Usopp says. That figures. What a pain. "Also I keep getting the feeling someone is following us."

With Usopp that could be anything from a noisy rabbit rustling too loudly in the brush all the way up to…well…something or someone big and dangerous with lots of weaponry. Ugh. All this uncertainty. Something just needs to come out and try to kill them already. She's about to ask Usopp the details of whoever it is following them when there is the sudden sound of someone coming their way, loudly running through the undergrowth. Sanji tenses. Whatever it is probably won't be a problem but…

"I'll get back to you," she says and hangs up the DenDen, slipping it back into the pocket. A moment later a black shape erupts from the woods and collapses on the road ahead of them. It is human shaped, woman shaped, dressed in a black robe with a hood and brown heart shaped braids spilling out onto the road. Her shoulders are shuddering in the unmistakable sign of crying.

Oh no. Is she hurt? Nami starts toward her but Sanji is much faster, reaching her in just a few long strides, crouching beside her.

"Are you alright, Mademoiselle, are you hurt?" Sanji says, offering a hand probably to help her up.

"Yes, thank you," the woman says, taking his hand and letting him lift her to her feet. "I just…" she sniffs. "I've run all this way, so very very long just waiting for a handsome rescuer like you."

Nami hesitates. The lady's voice is pretty damn steady for someone who has been crying and if she's really run all that way they would have heard her. Sanji smiles when he hears this and Nami knows from experience that he's only one step away from mellorening his head off.

"Maybe I should reward my handsome knight," the woman says and Sanji's explosion is imminent.

"Sanji-kun," Nami says, coming closer in an attempt to warn him that something is not quite right. He looks at her.

"With a little Lovely Kiss," the woman says, grabbing Sanji's tie, yanking him forward, and kissing him right on the mouth. Sanji's eye widens and his fingers flex as if he suddenly has no idea what to do with them. Nami freezes once again, caught up in a confusing mix of embarrassment and something a little like anger but it is definitely not jealousy. Find your own damn chef! Nami wants to snap at her. The lady pushes him away and Sanji's face melts like warm butter as he stumbles back, wiggling once, twice, before he crumples to the ground like a limp noodle. Okay that is definitely not normal.

"Hey, you witch, what did you do to my—" Nami stops mid charge as the woman whirls around, cloak flying, and pointing a pistol at her. Oh, crap. Nami takes a step back. She is starting to really regret that wish that someone would try to kill them. Figures the universe would listen to that one.

"Just a little Lovely Kiss, that's all. Specialty of the Lovely Lady pirates." She flicks back her hood and her braids tumble free, almost like she's trying to strike a pose. And then she does strike a pose hand on cocked hip, pistol still pointed at Nami, mouth curled into a smile. "Are you jealous, little girl?"

Jealous? No. Though she was getting a growing itch to murder Zoro at this point. It was his fault they were in this mess! Never mind. She'll raise his interest later. Right now she had to figure out how to get out of this mess.

"We're just tourists," Nami says, raising her hands and wishing she hadn't worn a shirt that buttoned up. She can feel the clima tact now, pressing against her breastbone, powerful and inaccessible unless she wants to get her head blown off. Time for plan B, stall until she can think of something better. "We don't have any money."

"Maybe not, but you have a bounty." The lady waves the pistol. "Did you think we wouldn't see the posters eventually?" Damnit. Those things. Nami knew she was going to regret having one. Now she can hear other people coming toward the forest at her. She doesn't want to look away from the pistol to see who they are, not that it would have mattered since she has the feeling their not going to be friendly anyway. Nami backs up another step.

"Melloriine," Sanji says faintly, and Nami has a spark of hope that maybe he's up but no, he's still lying on the ground, a goofy smile on his face, his lips red. What is wrong with him? Doesn't he see the pistol? Nami knows he won't kick a woman but at least he can get the gun out of her hands, right?

"Don't worry," says the lady with a laugh. "My Lovely Kiss won't wear off for quite a while yet." The footsteps behind her are coming closer. Urgh. Options. Options. What are her options? She could run and likely get shot in the back. Maybe she can activate the baby DenDen Mushi and maybe Usopp will hear and then at least when he answers it and hears weird people talking he'll know she's in trouble. It's a little awkward because the baby DenDen is in the coat's outside pocket and her hands aren't in the sleeves but…

"Gotcha!" says a rough, masculine voice. Sudden rough hands grab her shoulders from behind and Nami shrieks. Sanji jerks, almost as if he's convulsing. Oh hell what was in that kiss thing?

"Sanji!" she cries without meaning to.

"Enough out of you, you," the man says behind her and his leathery hand grabs her by the throat, squeezing, Nami reaches up to try to claw his hand away, tries to kick back with her leg to get him— Other black cloaked women are emerging from the trees. Sanji jerks up, sits up, staring at her for just a moment before that familiar, comforting look of rage settles on his face.

"You bastard!" he snarls, surging to his feet, stumbling just a little, before charging toward him. Heart braid lady grabs him by the tie in passing, nearly choking him.

"Lovely kiss!" she snaps, yanking him down and kissing him again. Sanji's rage leaves almost immediately and he smiles at her but there is a little wrinkle on his forehead as if he's not quite sure. If she can only get him to look at her again. She manages to pull the thug's hand away just long enough to scream Sanji's name again before the man covers her mouth. Sanji looks at her and his glare is a little less intense this time as if he can't focus.

"Lovely kiss, damnit!" the lady says, getting him, just barely a third time but Sanji stumbles and keeps on coming, his eye narrowed.

"Oh no you don't!" says another woman, barring the way, throwing her hood back and grabbing at him. "Lovely kiss!"

Sanji takes a step forward, before a third woman grabs his arm and lovely kisses him, too. Damnit. This is turning her stomach. Sanji tries to move forward, even reaches out for her, but he's being overtaken and Nami knows there is no way he can fight this. It's all right, Sanji-kun, she says. I'll think of something. She squirms her head free and bites the man's hand as hard as she can, until she can taste blood in her mouth. The man curses and loosens his grip and Nami squirms away, leaving the coat behind and starts running down the hill, tearing at the buttons on her shirt. She just has to get far enough away to take the clima tact out. Sanji will be okay. They won't kill him or they would have already.

"Get her!" a woman shouts. A shot sounds and Nami feels a slash of pain across her ankle, trips over the damn heels and hits the road hard enough to black out for a second. When she comes to her ankle is throbbing and she can hear the heavy footsteps of the man charging behind her. She pushes herself to her feet, nearly falling again as pain shoots up her leg. Nami bites her lip against, kicks off her remaining shoe and tries to run again. A rough hand grabs her arm, yanking her back hard and nearly dislocating her shoulder.

"There's no use running from us," the man says.

"Luffy's going to kick your ass for this," says Nami, hoping the man will feel threatened enough to let her go. If he knows about her bounty he has to know about Luffy's. The man hesitates.

"Hurry up!" one of the women snap. "What are you doing over there?"

Nami tries to jerk away again but he just jerks her back and squirts something astringent and heavy in her face. She yelps and tries to wipe it away but already her limbs feel heavy. She tries to reach up. If she…can just get…the clima tact…it will be….


Don't own 'em.

Thanks to the Great Effie and Liashi FNA Sora