Ch. 7

They arrived at Bobby's in practically no time at all. John and Dean both felt that they needed to get Sam help as soon as possible. Bobby had come up with an ex-hunter who was now a psychiatrist and had already set up an appointment for Sam once they got into town. Sam had huffed and whined the entire way. He knew he was acting like an annoying brat but that was the point. To get his family annoyed with him so that they would just let him be. Needless to say it didn't work.

Once they arrived at Bobby's the older man had a room set up for him and Dean to share, he had taken the door off the bathroom that he and Dean would be sharing, it was obvious that the old hunter didn't want Sam to be alone for even a moment. Much to Sam's dismay his family seemed to share the same thought. He didn't even get a second to himself.


Sam sat in Dr. Angel's office picking at a string coming out of his shirt completely ignoring the older man in front of him.

"Sam," Dr. Angel's voice broke through.

"Yeah?"

"Why don't we talk about why you're here?"

"I'm here because my overbearing, overprotective family forced me to come."

"Why would they do that?"

"I don't know why don't you go ask them. They're both sitting right outside."

"Sam you said that your family was overbearing, why do you say that?"

Sam didn't answer.

"Okay let's change the subject. I got some information from your brother. He said that you tried to commit suicide a few night ago."

Sam huffed. 'I can't believe Dean would just go tell a complete stranger that.'

"Sam I don't think he did it to make you mad. I think he's trying to help you, and he's doing the right thing. Now since you tried to commit suicide you have two options Sam, you can talk to me or we can check you into a hospital for observation and help. Which is it going to be?"

Sam sighed; he knew he didn't have a choice. "Look, it's not like I don't love my family I do," he started slowly. He was always one to talk things out and if someone was going to willingly listen to him he was going to talk. "But I wanted to go to school. You know get a degree, make something of my life. But they didn't want me to go. I guess that's when I started to feel like this."

"Sam your girlfriend died in a fire this past year didn't she?" When Sam gave him a questioning look Dr. Angel's response was, "Your brother told me."

Sam shook his head, "Yeah she died in a fire."

"A fire that you, yourself survived yes?"

Sam swallowed back the tears, "Yeah."

"Maybe that's when this all started. Maybe you just never fully recovered from her death."

Sam glared at the doctor and both knew that this session wasn't going anywhere so Dr. Angel let Sam go.


"You had no right to tell him about any of that stuff." It was later that night and Dean had asked Sam about his first session.

"Sammy he said that any information I give him could help you."

"You didn't have to tell him about Jess. I'm over that."

"Obviously you're not if you still can't talk about her."

"Of course I can't talk about her. I loved her and she died because of me!" Sam slid down to the floor crying, "She died because of me, just like mom. It should have been me both times Dean, I don't deserve to live."

Dean sat next to his brother and held him as he cried for the loss of his lover and the mother he never knew.

"It's going to be alright Sammy, I promise. You just have to let us help you."

"I just want the pain to stop Dean. That's all I want."

"I know Sammy, it will. It'll just take some time."

"It would be over if you and Dad just let me do what I wanted."