Chapter Seven

I shoved everything I could think I needed into a bag, grabbed some money and my keys. I couldn't believe I was leaving here, just after I had gotten so used to living here. This is my home now, and I'm leaving it all behind. Why? Why am I leaving it all behind? Oh yeah, I know why, It's because I can't bare to see Jacob again knowing that he hates who I am. This is why I hadn't told him before; I didn't want to lose him. But I have, and I know it, and no one will ever be able to even imagine how I feel right now. No one will ever be able to understand the hurt and loss that I feel. As one of my gifts is to be able to feel physical pain a lot less than any normal person, and feel emotional pain about a hundred times over, no one will ever even feel how I feel right now.

I wanted nothing more that to jump onto my driveway and for Jacob to be stood there, waiting for me. But I knew he wasn't, I would be able to sense him if he was there. Sigh.

I jumped onto my driveway then, unlocked my car, opened the boot and chucked my bag inside. Close the boot, and then I felt him. Jacob, in human form, running to find me here, hoping he's not too late. I turned around, leaned my back on the car and waited.

Finally he appeared from the tree's that existed opposite our house. Once he'd seen that I could see him, he seemed to speed up. He stopped in front of me, just within my reaching distance of him. I looked straight at him, straight into his eyes. It was easy to tell what Jacob was feeling now, without needing my gifts; it was all in his eyes. He was hurt, confused and desperate. I couldn't tell if this was going to be a goodbye or not, but I was ready to go, not mentally but physically.

"Don't leave" Jacob almost whispered.

"I can't stay when I know what they are feeling, and you…" I answered.

"What I feel right now isn't bad, I don't hate you or anything, and neither do the others… It's not your fault, what you are is what you are, I know there is no changing that, and I don't want to change it."

"The others-"

"The others don't even matter, all that matters is that I can't lose you. Please don't go, I'll do anything to keep you here." Jacob cut in.

"I don't really know what to say or think or feel about that…" I admitted half-heartedly.

"Just promise me you won't ever leave me" Jacob demanded confidently.

I looked at him for a while, contemplating whether that is a promise I can keep. There are ways around that promise though, I know that because I had thought very hard before I had made the same promise to Aaron many years ago. I nodded, and smiled, "I promise you I won't ever leave you," I whispered.

Jacob took a step forward, pulled me into his chest and wrapped his arms tightly around me, placing his hands on a part of my back that he knew was safe for him to. I trust Jacob, I know he won't hurt me, I don't think he knows that though, he's still extremely careful around me. I would prove to him that it didn't matter if he touched them now. I jumped us to my room.

I pulled away from Jacob after a while, and looked up into his big brown eyes. He still had his arms around me, and he looked worried, he didn't know where all my scars were obviously, and he didn't want to do anything to upset me right now.

"It doesn't matter if you touch them anymore Jake." I quietly said.

He looked confused, "What do you mean?" He asked.

I thought about how to explain . . . "The best way for me to explain is to show you." I nodded to myself and pulled myself out of his hold.

I pulled of my top and jeans, and stood in front of him with just my underwear on. Jacob had looked away as soon as he realized what I was doing. "Jake, it's fine seriously." I whispered.

"No it's not, put your clothes back on…" Jacob disagreed.

"No, not until I have explained."

"Explain with your clothes on." Jacob insisted.

"No! Jake I'm showing you, that's how I'm explaining. Please just hear me out, turn around."

"No, I'm not the only one who is going to see this remember."

"Yeah well, you need to see it, so if that means that your brothers and Leah has to see it too, I'm fine with that."

"No your not." Jacob resisted.

"Fine, no I'm not, but if you don't turn around and look at me, then I will just assume it's because I'm not good enough for you, or something."

"Zara, you know that's not true." Jacob whispered.

"Then turn around," I ordered him.

He hesitated for a second and eventually turned to look at me. He kept his face purposefully blank, and was trying his hardest to only look at my face. He didn't say anything.

"Okay… Well this is pretty much what he did to me violently, except bruises because they fade…" I paused and turned on the spot to show him my back, and the insides of my thighs. "No one can touch them without me going blank and freaking out…" I paused again as I watched his eyes roll over my whole body, taking in everything, committing it to memory. "Except, now, I noticed the other week, I don't have a problem when you touch them anymore." I stopped to watch his face.

He looked shocked at first, then relieved. "Really?" He asked me unsure of what to do or say.

I nodded at him, and moved forwards. I looked straight into his eyes and whispered, "You can test it if you want…"

He watched me for a moment, wondering whether he should, but curiosity over came him, and he slowly reached his hand out towards the bottom of my stomach. His hand hesitated for a second, before moving even slower onto my skin, tracing over my scar. All the while, I never took my eyes from his face, he looked back to mine, "Why?" He asked me.

"I don't know," I replied simply. "I guess I must love you." I smiled.

"Good, because I know that I love you." He whispered back, and then pulled me into him again.

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