A/N: Long time no see.

This chapter blows. I'll admit I'm kind of running on cruise control. Also flying by the seat of my pants, as I don't remember my previous intent. Feel free to laugh at me.

Haruhi caught on quickly. Bookkeeping, accounting, all the logical things that were my job in the Host Club were almost depressingly easy for her. Maybe I wasn't so special or even needed. I even said something along these lines, except not so pathetically.

"I don't think that's true, Kyoya-sempai. For instance, if you left, who would keep them in line?" Them. I don't know why, but I liked the sound of that. Them and us, not us and you.

Three weeks had gone by since I had spent time at her house, this was only the second time we had taken time to teach her the inner workings of the club, and this was because we were both dragged by the others to go to a lake. They were swimming, we were not.

"HARUHI! Look at me!"

That was the obnoxious part about all this, was that everyone was vying for her attention, including myself. But like the others, I couldn't bring myself to so attempt for it so outright.

I could ask her to come over, or to go to her house, but it doesn't seem right to impose myself on her. She excused herself as the twins pulled her away and I only nodded, my eyes following her momentarily before opening my email.

Another letter from one of the girls, Amiko Hani. I skimmed over it quickly and was astounded when I saw a certain word.

"Love."

I'll admit I wasn't ready for this. I'm sure plenty of woman think they love me, but it is entirely different when it was quite possible that I'd marry this woman. This should be good. This should be perfect, a woman who already is ready to commit to me.

So why do I feel as if everything is falling down around me?

The walls were closing in. I hadn't lied to myself telling myself anything other than what would happen. But maybe I had somehow hoped, somehow wished. I lift my gaze to the girl of my unknown, who was getting angry visibly at Tamaki for trying to smother her. I wanted to run over, to tell them all to stop bugging her. I know, however, that she will forgive them versus the fact I would never forgive myself.

I close my laptop and pack it away without responding to the email. I don't want to ever see that woman again, but I know what will happen.

And it does.

Even by the time I arrive home, my father is waiting for me with wonderous, in his opinion, news about how he had gotten a call from Mr. Hine. I sit, and listen to his ramblings about how great this is.

I'm feeling blocked, I know my father has made his decision. "Father, I'd like to meet the other girls a couple more times. I feel it is only fair to them to give them a slight more of a chance, or at least make it so that there is more padding when it ends."

My father agrees, my logic always comes across flawless. It should, since I am a cold and emotionless individual. That's how people percieve me. That's why they love me, they hate me.

I want her to love me.

I think I should make her hate me.

That would make it easy, wouldn't it? To rip her out of my life and vice versa. This goes past the profit of the host club, means so much more than any of the reasons I've been telling myself, telling everyone else.

I went to my bedroom and stayed there without eating for the entire night, just thinking about how to break it off, to disassociate with her. Perhaps even with all of them.

I ended up falling asleep and dreaming of her. This was strange, I generally do not dream. One minute I was the normal me, the next was the masked mystery man from the masquerade. I woke up, sweating, too early in the morning with a strange a ghost on my lips.

Everything was going downhill. Everything was a blur. One of the downsides of waking up too early, I suppose.

What should I do? Everything felt so real in that moment, my usually detached self shivering with anger. I got dressed, despite it being about four in the morning. I then got up and out of the house, taking my car I hardly ever drove myself into the darkness.

I needed to think clearly, without emotions running through me like the end of the world was at my fingertips. I didn't want this, I didn't want any of this. How could I go against my father? I couldn't, I can't. Left, right, and somehow I ended up in front of her house but I didn't stop I just passed it.

Great.

I drove back home with a strange feeling. I felt rebellious, I felt afraid. I loaded some things into my car, I ate, I finished all the accounting for today, and then I went to school.

School itself was normal. Despite a knot in my stomach, despite the repetitive looking at the clock. After school, the host club came and went. I didn't exchange a word to Haruhi. I left as soon as it was over, leaving Haruhi to the hounds that were my co-hosts. Today was easy, I could go without talking to her forever. I shouldn't do this.

What I was about to do was ridiculous.

I got dressed in the bathroom closest to the entrance of the school, checking myself int he mirror. Normal clothes, but my brothers. A wig that I now realized why no one would recoginize me it covered my face quite a bit. Green contacts.

This was dangerous. Surely without a mask, she would recognize me. It was so obvious. Maybe she wouldn't even recognize me from months and months back.

I stood by the entrance to the school anyways, leaning against a column. The knot was gone, but that hardly mattered. I was shivering, fidgety, I had a headache.

I was too logical, too calculating for this.

This wasn't me.

Then why was I doing this.

"You..."

I spun my head 45 degrees. In my worrying, she had snuck up on me. My heart beat and I couldn't keep my fingers still.

I put on a smile I had practiced for so many years, and in the back of my head I beat myself for using it because she may recognize it. I opened my mouth, reminding myself to lower it slightly. "Hello, Haruhi."

Maybe this was in fact calculating enough for me.