Thank YOUUUU, you guys are literally so sick. Everytime I read a review or get a fav or follow I just feel like I need to do more, hence why I've published this one so soon. I've been on a roll. I have a vague idea of how this story is gonna go, but it truly is you guys who have the influence of what happens ultimately so hit me up lads, I hope you enjoy! (Sorry about my typos and shit)

"Hello?" The voice called at the end of the line.

"Wow. I'm surprised you actually picked up." Cosima replied, it was near impossible for her to hide the sarcasm.

"Sorry, I've been busy here these past days. Is everything alright?"

Cosima paused for a second, overwhelmed by Shay's apparent lack of enthusiasm.

"I think we need to talk soon. Do you know when you're going to get back?"

Equally Shay grew just as silent as Cosina had been. For a few moments she even considered that the line may well be dead.

"Why can't we speak now?" She finally answered.

"Because it's important and I think it's better to talk about in person. Not that I ever see you that much as it is anyway."

"Anything you want to say you can tell me here." The blonde replied, bluntly.

Cosima was sat in her living room, leaning forward towards the coffee table looking at the wine glass in front of her. It was seven o clock and she was meant to meet Scott and Gracie in half an hour, hence the low cut dress she wore, a deep red which complimented her figure so delicately. However, she had an inkling she would soon be late.

"Don't you feel like something is wrong, Shay? Desperately wrong? Is it meant to be like this?"

"Where is this coming from? What are you trying to say?"

"I'm saying that…" She stopped herself, she knew it was a conversation for a time they were physically together, but she felt her patience being tested by Shay's insisting.

"Go on, tell me. Just come out with it already!"

"This. It just doesn't feel right anymore. We barely see each other, we barely speak. I have literally no clue what is going on in your life, just as you don't in mine. Even worse, it's like you don't even care."

"Don't even care?" Shay retorted. "Tell me, if I don't care so much, why did I ask you to marry me? Why would I do that?"

It was enough to bring silence to Cosima, who had no answer to the question regardless of how hard she tried to come up with one. So quiet it was that a voice became apparent on the other end of the speaker, the deep voice unmistakably of a man. Cosima paused, Shay wouldn't have picked up the phone unless she was in her dorm, but she had also told Cosima that dorms were separated by gender.

"Who is that?" She asked, not settling for anymore bullshit excuses.

"What?"

"That voice. Is it Paul? Because he sure as hell was sending you messages like he missed you before you left."

Cosima felt as though she could hear Shay's mind trying to search for an answer, her brain were like gears clogging the wrong way. The brunette's heart was thudding in her chest, it was a miracle she had stayed so calm until now in the first place.

"I don't know what to tell you, Cosima." Her voice was defeated and as much as it felt good to get an answer, the reality of the situation dawned upon her.

"So you're saying you've cheated?"

Instantly the line went dead. Cosima looked at the screen and saw 'call ended' flash up before going back to homescreen. Without thinking she threw her phone across the room and placed her palms to her eyes. It seemed so clear now, the texts, the secret calls, the blonde's lies grew blatant.

She looked over at the clock, it was 7.30pm already. As easy as it could have been to stay at home and think things over time and time again, think about how many lies had been told through her two year relationship and how stupid she had been for letting it last this long, she got her coat and headed out the door. She figured if she left now she wouldn't even be that late, well at least in her own rule book. The last thing she wanted to do was think. She wanted to have a couple of drinks with her friends and enjoy herself. Enjoy herself in a way she had with Delphine the other night, before she witnessed her endeavours with Leekie.


It was only a quick walk to the city and the sky was still reasonably bright. Walking through crowds of couples holding hands and walking slowly whispering sweet nothings into each other's ears, Cosima groaned, it was typical for this to happen now. She decided to take a quick detour into a park she knew well, it was on top of a hill and looking below were the faint figures of people who looked so miniscule, she almost pondered their three dimensional existence.

From her pocket she drew out a small tin which contained a joint she had pre-rolled a few hours prior, she had told herself she'd smoke it before bed but decided she much rather have it there, whilst it wasn't busy. It was all just a way of forgetting the world, an escapism from the realities she would later face, the wounds we're so new the skin had barely split, she would tend to it in a later time, once they had opened. For now she needed to get away. With each toke she felt the weight of her thoughts ease and replaced with the smoke of pot mixed with an imperial tobacco. She was drifting so slowly and so calmly into a state of peace and serenity. Her head rolled back, as though light as a feather, against the back of the bench and for a period of time just sat there, breathing deeply and indulging her mind to the satisfying thoughts of nothingness.

As time passed she realised the dimming of natural light, even a speckle of street lamps had turned themselves on. She took the opportunity to ask a man walking passed what the time was, to find that it was now 8.45pm, she had been there for about an hour, yet it had felt so timeless. Gathering her things she made her way to the original destination, the bar in which Scott and Gracie had invited her, that was if they were even still there. But either way she was in dire need of a drink.

"Cosima!" Scott called, catching sight of her as she entered the bar.

She waved back in reply and approached their table which was conveniently placed right next to the drink counter

"We didn't know whether you'd be coming." Gracie said, once Cosima was pulling the spare seat out from under the table. "Scott was getting worried about you."

Cosima giggled looking over at Scott and tugging at his cheek.

"You don't have to worry about little old me." She laughed.

It struck her how coupley Scott and Gracie had become, they sat so close, they complimented each other so well. She had never noticed before, how sort of perfect they seemed together.

"What has everyone been drinking?" Cosima asked finally, getting straight to the point.

"I haven't been drinking much, I've got work early tomorrow morning." She said with a genuine remorse.

"Go on, just a little one?" She pried, getting her purse from her bag.

"I really shouldn't." It was clear the ginger girl stuck to her morals, direct in her ways, something she knew Scott would benefit from and a trait she thought admirable herself.

"Alright. Just me and you Scotty."

Scott looked at Gracie, as though searching for an answer or a sort of permission. Cosima picked this up quickly and couldn't stop a smirk from spreading across her face.

"You go two go ahead, I'm just going to go to the ladies room." She said with a blush.

Cosima and Scott moved over to the stools near the bar waiting to be served.

"Two jagerbombs, please." She asked the bartender.

"Well that confirms it." Said Scott.

"Confirms what?"

"Something's definitely wrong. What is it Cos?"

Instead of answering straight away she shouted over to the bartender, "Actually make that 4!"

"That bad?" He asked.

"That bad...She told me today. Finally admitted she's cheating on me."

"What, Shay? No way?"

Cosima paid the man, picking up her first shot and knocking it back quickly, barely pulling a face of disgust. She felt Scott's hand over hers, he was hardly a physical person, so it was clear he wanted to comfort her.

"Scott, if I'm honest with you, which I always am, I just need tonight to forget about it."

"Are you sure?"

She looked him in the eye and felt her eyes well up with all the honesty she possessed.

"I'm so sure."

He smiled a tight and sympathetic smile at her, slowly withdrawing his hand away.

"Now have a shot with me dude." She said gesturing down to the drink in front of him.

He complied to her ask, but clearly didn't anticipate the taste. He stuck his tongue out in a way that proved too comical and Cosima could barely withhold her laughter.

"I don't think I should have this." He said, motioning to the second shot, which Cosima was drinking as they spoke.

"Come on, I believe in you. Once you get over the bleach taste it's fine." She replied wiping at the creases of her lips for any excess alcohol.

"No, no it's not that. Its just- well, I'm going back to Gracie's place tonight."

Cosima's eyes lit up already. It was obvious what his underlying reason for not drinking much was.

"Scott's getting lucky, Scott's getting lucky." Cosima chanted in a hushed tone, but it didn't fail to bring colour to his face.

"I might not...I mean I would love to, but like if it didn't happen then I wouldn't be, you know, like mad or anything because it's her body and I respect-"

"Scott, chill out. It's all gonna be alright. I'm happy for you buddy, seriously, for you and Gracie. You seem really happy together."

"Cosima, I think that-" He drew closer to her, "I think that I love her."

Before she had time to respond Gracie had come up from behind and wrapped her arms around his neck. Laughing and joking in a way that couples do.

"I think that I'm going to head off now." She said, putting her coat on. Cosima looked at the clock, it was 9.30.

Scott was looking at her apologetically as he also got up, reaching for his jacket.

"I'll drop you home, Cosima." He said, not so much a question, but just looking out for her.

"No, no Scott, honestly it's fine. I'm probably just gonna have this last shot, go to the bathroom and get a taxi home."

"Are you sure?" It was Gracie now, and she immediately felt loved by both of them.

"Most definitely." She assured them, confidently.

They both hugged her goodbye, Gracie first then Scott.

"Get home safely." He had whispered in her ear, slipping a note into her hand for a taxi.

Once they left Cosima thanked the universe that she at least had friends who cared about her and her well being both physically and mentally. She took the shot Scott had refused to drink and necked it herself before making her way in the same direction Gracie had come from towards the bathroom. She could still smell the pot on her hands from the joint she had smoke only an hour earlier.

As she went into the cubicle of the seemingly empty bathroom, she realised how far from sober she was. She listened to the music playing quietly, she recognised it, it was 'Just Like Heaven' by The Cure. A song she had always loved, especially as a teenager.

Leaving the cubicle she tried to compose herself before the journey home. Standing in front of the mirror she pushed down her baby hairs and began to wash her hands, her eyes had a tinge of red. Scott must have known something was wrong because of how blazed she looked.

Just then there was the sound of a toilet flushing and the sliding of a lock opening the door. Cosima looked up at the reflection of the cubicle which had been a mere few doors down from hers as it opened. She didnt see who it was at first, only the head full of glowing curls which radiated volume and perfectly framed her turning face which spotted Cosima straight away. There was no going back and there was no way they could possibly avoid each other.

"Bonsoir Cosima." She greeted in her accent, so silky it could have been made of velvet.

Cosima could have swore she let out a small laugh, as though her drunken and high mind was trying to play a trick on her. For how was there any way that the both of them could be there in that exact place, at the exact same time. It seemed impossible and yet it was happening.

"Hey, Delphine." She replied. The blonde had now walked over to the sink next to her and began to wash her hands. Cosima couldn't keep her eyes off her.

"So, the other night. I need to explain about what happened…" She trailed off, perhaps anticipating some sort of response from the blonde, but never receiving one.

"I should have told you. I have a girlfriend. I had a girlfriend. Or maybe I'm just jumping to conclusions because after all I don't really know anything about you. You could be straight or maybe you're bisexual but regardless I just felt like maybe you felt, I don't know some sort of spark, between us? But I didn't mean to lead you on, I just felt something so distinct and this is never something I do, like ever. I mean-"

"Cosima. Stop." Delphine cut her off harshly, it was a tone she was not used to hearing spoken from the French woman's lips. She could barely look Cosima in the eye. She took a curl and tucked it behind her ear, however it fell straight back onto her face.

Trying hard, wishing she had an extensive knowledge of psychology and body language, she wondered what was going on in the blonde's mind. Her eyes were glazed over, Cosima's thought for a second she could see hurt in those hazel eyes. Without thinking Cosima took the same curly strand that had fell back into Delphine's face and tucked it behind her ear herself. Her hair was soft and light, just how it appeared to be. Her hand lingered there, by her ear for a moment, their eyes connected. She could see Delphine's chest, through her low cut dress, as it rose and fell as though her heart rate was increasing and surpassing normality. She was so beautiful.

"But maybe, with what I saw yesterday night, I got the wrong end of the stick. God knows I don't want to be interfering with my bosses'-" The brunette paused, trying to think of the correct term. "Whatever you two are." She settled with.

Delphine sighed immediate and moved away from the dreadlocked woman, clearly agitated by the remark, but still maintaining eye contact. Whatever there was between them, whatever energy existed there, it was intense.

"Cosima you are right." She started. She looked down at her feet for a moment then back to the Cosima's eyes. "You don't know anything about me." Without a second thought the blonde left the bathroom all together, and in turn left Cosima alone to reflect on what had just happened. None of it had felt real, like a disconnect from reality, a kind of disassociation.

Looking at herself in the mirror she stretched and put her hands behind her head, taking herself in. She looked good for someone who had just found out their longest relationship was a shambles, for someone who felt like shit. Reaching into her hand bag she tried to find the note that Scott had given her to get a taxi home. Finding something she thought was it, she pulled out the receipt she had gotten yesterday from the blonde woman at the cafe yesterday.

Just as she was about to put the piece of paper back in her bag, she paused and thought for a moment. Irrational, impulsive thoughts they were that inhabited her mind. It was the start of the wound opening, she thought, as she felt an anger and remorse boiling within her. Grief would come and sorrow would soon follow but for now she felt angry.

Taking her phone from her bag she began to type the number out into her phone. She didn't know what she was doing, she didn't know what she wanted to achieve but for those seconds it was what she wanted. A physical interaction of no worth. A meaningless fuck to be brutally honest.

The line rang for little more than 5 seconds before the voice of the bubbly girl answered.

"Hey, Chloe. It's Cosima…from the cafe? Oh, you remember me? Cool. Was just wondering if you were busy tonight? You're not?... Okay..What do you say about coming to mine?...Cool, I'll text you my address. See you later."

She hung up.

"What am I doing." She whispered to herself.