A/N: I know, I know, it's been forever! I'm so sorry but I have been super busy. To make up for it, this chapter is very very M rated… Enjoy!
7
Kate felt her cell phone buzz in her pocket for the fifth time that morning. It was her father, he'd been calling her all day. But there was nothing she wanted to hear from him. Either he'd messed himself up even worse than the last time in which case she didn't have the time or the energy to help, or he wanted to talk to her… and she just couldn't talk to him right now. Jane pretended not to notice, keeping her head buried in the pile of case files on her desk.
Kate stole a glance at her partner. She could see Jane was on the verge of saying something. The phone buzzed again.
"You gonna get that?" Jane asked.
"Mind your own business Rizzoli," Kate snapped. Jane blushed and looked back down at her work.
"Sorry," Kate muttered. "But no. I'm not gonna get it."
"Right. No problem," Jane muttered, equally annoyed.
Kate looked up at the clock. "Lunch break," she said suddenly. "I'm going to the gym."
"Great. Me too," Jane said shortly, getting up and hurrying down to the changing room as if her seat had been on fire. Kate looked after her and slowly left her desk. She sighed. Whatever this was, it was getting-
Her back slammed into the lockers with a loud bang and she made a noise somewhere between a squeal and a moan as Jane's lips and teeth and tongue attacked her mouth. She parted her legs to allow Jane's torso to press even closer to hers, her hips writhing as her hands tore at her shirt.
"Shit," she muttered as she ripped a button off her uniform. Jane chuckled.
"Careful," she said, running her tongue down Kate's now exposed neck and planting a kiss at the sensitive spot just above her collarbone. Kate groaned and fumbled with her belt and the fastening of her pants. Jane gave her a hand, her fingers dipping below Kate's waistband and beneath her lacey panties.
"I didn't see you put these on," she murmured.
"There's a lot about me you don't see," Kate responded, arching her back, hardly noticing as her head whacked into the lockers again. Jane bent her knees, her mouth making a tantalising journey down Kate's body, teasing her breasts and stomach. Kate's muscles tensed, she reached out desperately for something to grab onto to steady herself but had to resort to pressing her hands flat against the cold metal behind her. Jane tugged off her pants.
Kate flexed her hips again, enjoying the movement of her fully healed body, trying to get her pulsating centre closer to Jane's mouth. Jane's strong hands held her in place; Kate's eyes glazed over with desire as sharp, clever teeth nipped the soft skin of her inner thigh. She felt her panties rip.
"Hey, they were new," she breathed unsteadily as Jane's tongue dipped inside her, just for a moment. She reached down to grab Jane's hair, pushing her head closer, swinging one leg over Jane's shoulder to pull her in even more, but Jane resisted, taking Kate's wrists and pinning her arms back against the lockers.
"All in good time," she said, her voice dripping with desire and control. Kate growled, but submitted, knowing it was the only way to get what she wanted. Jane's kisses began again; she nuzzled the thigh that rested on her shoulder and slowly moved closer to where Kate needed her. She smiled when she tasted the slick, rich arousal that coated Kate's folds, then gently ran her tongue over Kate's clit. Kate screamed so loud it was entirely possible everyone in the building heard her. Jane continued to caress her, kissing and sucking at just the right pace to keep Kate balancing on a knife edge for several glorious seconds.
Kate screamed again as she came, a flow of exquisite curse words that rocked through her body as it spasmed with pleasure. Finally she relaxed, feeling the lockers digging into her bare skin. She blinked; Jane put her leg back on the floor and stood up to kiss her. Kate could taste herself on Jane's lips; she kissed with more intensity, knowing Jane must be burning with excitement by now. Her nimble hands worked fast on Jane's uniform as she shed what remained of her own clothes and shuffled them towards the showers.
"You girls have a nice lunch?" Korsak asked as they sauntered back into the bull pen twenty minutes later. Kate looked down at the safety pin holding her shirt together.
"Yeah, it was delicious, thanks," she said, smiling. Jane glared at her, but said nothing. Kate just kept smiling.
"Well I'm glad you're finally back, because we've caught a case and neither of you were answering your phones…"
Kate tried not to blush.
"Oh, right, sorry… We must have been having a really absorbing conversation."
Korsak rolled his eyes. Didn't they realise he was a detective?
"Sure. Well come on then."
They followed him over to the whiteboard, trying not to make eye contact with him. Or each other.
As Jane looked at the limited information in front of her she felt her brain drifting in another direction, specifically a few feet to her left where Kate was currently standing. The spot between her legs still tingled from Kate's earlier attention… Something that felt this good couldn't be bad, could it?
Kate was having similar thoughts. She loved being with Jane. She loved what they could do to each other, she loved the way their bodies fitted together, she loved their friendship and their conversations and their banter… She loved everything they did together. But she was terrified that Jane was beginning to love… her. And Kate just wasn't ready for that. Loving people was painful, it went wrong, it hurt you. Her heart was still broken from the last person she had lost. Losing anyone else would kill her. She couldn't take the risk… So did she have to end it?
They went out to the crime scene. Kate forced herself to be cold. It wasn't even hard any more, she was so used to seeing dead people. And not just at work - she saw them every night in her dreams, too.
By five o'clock she'd decided. She had to end it. She had no choice, to do anything else wouldn't be fair. No matter how good it made her feel, she couldn't let Jane fall in love with her. She couldn't let her get attached.
They got changed together in the locker room, the atmosphere horribly different from a few hours ago.
"Do you… do you want to come get a drink with me?" Kate asked. Jane looked at her, knowing something was up.
"Sure," she said softly. They walked to a bar a few blocks away, not wanting to be scrutinised by everyone from work. Kate ordered herself an orange juice; Jane had a beer.
"That's not a drink," Jane said, trying for a smile.
"I… I'll have one later," Kate said. Since her accident she hadn't felt much like drinking. It made her feel too much like her father. She knew, really, that the fact that she didn't feel like drinking meant she was pretty much the opposite of her father, but still…
"What is it?" Jane asked. Kate examined the pattern the condensation was making on her ice cold glass.
"We… Look, Rizzoli, you're amazing. You're a great friend. When I moved here I never thought I'd find a friend like you, but… I can't get attached. I can't do this… relationship thing. So I think it'd be best if we ended it, before I hurt you."
Jane let the words wash over her, wondering how to answer. She opted for anger. "Beckett, d'you really think you're the only woman in the world who can fuck someone without falling in love with them?" she said through gritted teeth. Kate's eyes widened in surprise.
"Well, no, of course not, but I thought-"
"You thought you're just that lovable? Look, Becks, you're hot as fuck and I really enjoy having sex with you but romantically? You're really not the sort of person I would ever get into a relationship with."
Kate was stumped. "Oh," she managed eventually. Jane's face softened.
"Don't take it too hard. I'm sure you're great, or you could be, I just… I don't need to be messed up with something like that at work. I want to make detective!"
Kate let out a long sigh, trying to get a hold of herself.
"Well… In that case… I guess I didn't really need to say anything."
Jane winked at her. "Calm down, Beckett. And please have a real drink."
"Okay, but…" Kate smelled a rat. She couldn't help it.
"What?"
"Well… For both of our sakes, then, can we set some boundaries?"
Jane narrowed her eyes, but she actually thought this was a good idea. Because, to put it bluntly, she was full of shit. She could quite easily see herself falling in love with Kate.
"Like what?" she asked, feigning nonchalance.
"Uhm… No sleepovers. Or dates."
"Isn't this a date?"
"This is drinks. No food dates."
"What about lunch dates?" Jane asked with a wicked smile.
"Like today?" Kate chuckled. "They're… fine."
"Just fine? Ouch."
"Shut up. Okay, and… No family things. No emotional crap."
"But we're still friends."
"Sure. But no gifts or favours or anything."
Jane winked. "I do favours for my friends…"
Kate rolled her eyes. "Just no acting like a couple. Okay?"
"Sounds fabulous. So stop treating me like your wife, finish your damn juice, and let's get out of here."
Kate hopped off her barstool, downed her juice, and let Jane tug her out of the room.
They were kissing before they made it through the door of Jane's apartment. Kate wished all her break ups could go like this…
