Roy stared blankly at the low ceiling, trying to put together all of the thoughts that now swirled around his head. The white canvas held no more answer than he could muster by himself. The semi-darkness of the basement room only fueled his brooding, lending hand to no respite from this torment. He was still in a state of shock, quickly being permeated with venomous disgust. It was sickening and tiring and terrifying all at once. Perhaps he needed to sort out his emotions more than he needed to his thoughts.
He had no idea how much time had gone by since he'd read the wretched letter. It was crumpled beyond repair in the vice of his grip, though its suffering would do no more good in the situation than punching a wall would. Both of these venues would make him feel a heck of a lot better, though. He still sat in the same chair, back tilted as far as possible to allow his head to rest at a horizontal angle. He held a cool hand to his forehead and recognized the beginnings of a migraine.
Even though all he was able to see was the white expanse of the ceiling, he knew the light had already changed dramatically from when he'd sat down, and guessed that the small window set aboveground would be darkened completely by now. The only light came from his dingy little office lamp that sat on his desk, emitting a soft yellow glow through the thin lampshade. It cast wild shadows across the room when it shown through the stacks of paperwork surrounding it. The darkened streaks played back and forth with Roy's vision, interfering and messing with his already muddled brain.
Riza had come home a long time ago, maybe hours at this point, but hadn't bothered to call him up for dinner. She probably knew that he'd already eaten and had to work now. He planned to tell her what had happened. What would she say? What could he tell her? She would find out soon, he was sure, but he had no idea how to present the problem.
He had no idea how to approach the problem at all. It was like he was stuck, stopped entirely by this massive roadblock that would have to be passed eventually. He was very slowly moving forward now that his thoughts were actually processing, so apparently the street in front of the roadblock was covered in honey. Or squirrels. If he could run over the squirrels…
He shot forward from the chair, rubbing both hands through his hair. What was his mind even doing? This was why he shouldn't leave it unattended. Weird things happened.
He tried to draw what he could from his rather delusional inner monologue and stood up from the chair. He would confront it as soon as he could, facing anything he needed to without hesitation. And now, that meant sharing the news with Riza. He was certain that they could together find more solutions than his shell-shocked brain could put out. They were and always had been an excellent team.
And if not, well, misery loves company.
He crushed the letter even tighter in his grip as he took the stairs, moving quickly up one step at a time. Hopefully it would still be readable by the end of his journey.
Roy pushed the basement door open wider than was necessary for his passage and marched through. He slowed to a halt. He knew that he'd been in the basement for a while, but hadn't really paused to think of the implications, or how long it had actually been. The house around him was dark and empty, light coming solely from the small rectangular night light that was left in the hallway for anyone who might be awake after lights out.
He searched for a clock, all the while trying to puzzle out whether Riza would be asleep or in their room waiting for him. The nearest timepiece was in the kitchen, but he darted around to three different rooms in quiet haste before his brain remembered that. He stepped through the wide kitchen entrance and walked immediately to the clock. He registered that it smelled like spaghetti sauce. He had missed out on spaghetti night. With newfound upset, he looked at the clock's hands, ticking away in unchangeable perpetuation. It was late, only a few minutes before midnight. He could very nearly say that it was early.
He figured that Edward and Isaac at the very least would already be sleeping this late, so he tried very hard to ascend the stairs and tiptoe down the hallway as quietly as possible. Neither of them was a particular treat when woken up abruptly. It was a really unpleasant circumstance, actually, and one he hoped with his life to avoid at all costs. He passed Edward's door on the way to his own, and was forced to stop yet again on his mission. There was a faint stream of light shining out from under Ed's door into the darkened hallway.
This was strange. Edward was usually at least trying to sleep by now. Roy listened at the door first. Nothing. This gave him absolutely no information at all, so he would have to look inside. He gently turned the knob and pushed the door in, letting the light that was hinted at earlier fill the hallway behind him. He could see nothing out of place in the room, and Edward's blonde head was tucked safely on a pillow at the far side of the bed, turned away from him. He sighed in relief. With everything crashing down like this, he was certain that this could only be yet another disaster. He was glad that, for once, it wasn't.
He went to the switch on the wall, figuring that the boy had forgotten to turn it off before he fell asleep. He had his unoccupied fingers nearly upon the switch when he was stopped by a small, tired voice.
"Mustang? What're you doing?"
So he was awake. Roy turned back toward the bed. Edward was now facing him, eyes open and, while definitely fatigued, did not look like he had been sleeping. His face was leveled from exhaustion, and with the weariness was a sort of unguarded, plaintive innocence. This was both intriguing and confusing. He should have been asleep by now if he was tired enough to be this out of it. And that expression reminded Roy of something he couldn't quite place. He knew that he hadn't seen this side of Edward in a very long time, but there was something else…
"Mustang? Why are you in my room? It looks like you've finally come upstairs after working down there for so long." Edward tried to get his attention again when he didn't reply, sounding somewhat more alert now. Roy looked at him in response. The largeness of the bed emphasized how small the boy was, how weak he had become. How fragile. How needing of protection. He looked at Roy with eyes that were confused and concerned, searching for anything that might be wrong.
Roy tried to give him a response.
"Your-" His voice sounded too feeble and he had to start over. "Your light was on, confusing the whole hallway. I had to drop in to see of you'd somehow fallen again."
Edward didn't seem irritated by his comment. Just worn out.
"Yeah, I have been doing that a lot lately, haven't I?" His reply was given with a sigh followed by a sheepish grin. He rubbed his neck bashfully.
"Yeah, you have."
They weren't even trying for conversation anymore. Roy didn't care, really. He was more concerned with Edward's new demeanor. Then, looking closer at the smile, the honest eyes, the trusting sense, he knew why it was so familiar. It was exactly how Isaac acted. No. It was exactly how a child would act. Ed was a child. He had always been a child. It was so obvious now, seeing past all the shields that were normally covering his face, that it nearly floored him. He felt sick suddenly.
"So. So, why are you awake so late, anyway?"
"It's late? Yeah, it must be. I was just, I don't know, reflecting."
It was disappearing fast. Ever so slowly, the walls were returning. Roy felt ashamed that this was his effect on the boy; that he made him put up those defenses.
"Did you take your pill?"
Edward grimaced at the words, and Roy laughed a little internally.
"Yeah. Riza made me take it. Not fun."
"It was okay, though?"
"It went down, if that's what you mean. It's never really okay."
"Well, if it's down then it's down. I'm going to turn the light off now, alright? And you try to go to sleep."
"Okay." He was already slipping, as if Roy's presence finally signaled that it was okay to drift off. Roy went back to the light switch.
"Roy?"
He froze. Edward just called him Roy.
"What's in your hand? Ya keep scruchin' it an' it's gonna be wrecked," he said, slurring his words in exhaustion and gesturing to Roy's other hand. Roy clenched that fist even tighter.
"Oh, nothing. Just some trash I picked up on the stairs."
Edward seemed to accept this and melted onto his pillow. He probably wouldn't remember any of this when he woke up.
Roy flicked the switch and went for the door.
"G'night, Roy. See ya t'morrow."
"Yeah. Sleep well, Edward," Roy returned without looking back and rushed out the door. His heart was pounding.
He couldn't do it. He'd looked at his face, he'd wanted to say something, but in the end he just couldn't tell Edward what was happening. He'd even been asked directly and he couldn't say anything but lies. He felt dirty, lying to such an open face.
He had more difficulty than before trying to move quietly as he went to his own room.
The door opened with a soft creaking, not enough to wake a person but plenty to signal his entrance. Riza was sitting on the edge of the bed in her nightgown, reading a small paperback. She was waiting for him.
"I'd figured that there would be some reason for you to be down there so long," she said before even looking at him, and put the book down on the bedside table without marking a page. Her eyes went to his direction next.
"Do you want to talk?" Her gaze fixated upon him with utmost priority, as if she knew already the gravity of the issue.
Roy said nothing. He walked over to her, unclenched his fist and handed the letter to her. The thing passed between hands in silence. It was one way to break the news. He would let her make her own judgment of the thing, and to do so just let her read it herself. He waited for her to finish. It seemed like eternity, but it must've taken less than a minute. When she was done, she looked to him with grave severity.
"This was more than I was afraid of," she said. Her voice betrayed her concern.
"What are we going to do? We can't go against orders directly here. I have a feeling that the Furor put that last bit in specifically for us. He wants us to be trapped."
"Well, we can't make that assumption immediately. If that is his intent, there won't be any way to get out of it. We have to think that this is escapable, for Edward's sake and our own."
"I swear, he's turning out to be worse than Bradley."
Riza gave him a look.
"Okay, maybe not worse than Bradley. But he's picking all sorts of fights out there, and the country will have to pay for it. And he's never acknowledged my rank just because he's a jealous wanton fool."
"He's not inhuman just because he hates you, although I disagree with what he's doing just as much as you do. But he does have some humanity. We'll just have to appeal to that."
"How so?"
"We can file for a disability on Edward's behalf. They can't force him to serve if he can't stand up to march and doesn't have an arm to salute the Furor by. It could work."
"That seems like a plan. But what if he doesn't see that side of things? He's a rat eating bastard if I've ever seen one."
"We'll make him see."
Roy undressed and settled into bed. It was a long day. They continued to talk about possibilities and probabilities for a while after, but it soon became clear that this was their best option. Edward's physical condition couldn't stand the position. They would fight for that cause and wouldn't have to delve into the more problematic side of Edward's mental health, though that was what would really prevent him from being able to do this. Within the hour they had made their argument and plan to execute it. Using Roy's position in the military, they should be able to schedule a meeting with the Furor as soon as tomorrow. It would be done quickly and efficiently, eliminating Edward from the problem. That was all they could hope for.
They would do it, though, because they made a really amazing team.
-philos
Will update at least once a week sometime, every week. Even if it happens to be Tuesday at midnight. It will happen.
