Freeze
Chapter 6
I own nothing! I would have posted last night but the website wouldn't let me :(
But I'm here now!
Thanks so much to all my followers! I know 16 may not be many for some, but as this was my first fic I hadn't even been expecting 1. So thank you!
Please enjoy :)
Once Alec had woken up the next day, he felt lost. He eventually figured out he was in the Infirmary, but that was about all he knew. Why am I here? He had a terrible headache.
When Isabelle came in he gave her a hug. "Looks like you've finally come back from the dead!"
"What?" Alec was confused.
"Don't ever do that to me again – I thought you were dead!"
"I was what?!"
"You don't remember anything?"
Alec concentrated and then said, "I remember Clary figured how to get the Mortal Cup and that we were going to go find it, but then everything after that is a blur. What happened?"
"What happened was you jumped in front of a giant demon and almost got yourself killed. Thank god I knew you had Magnus' number or..."
Alec was extremely lost now. "You called Magnus?"
Isabelle found it funny how Alec paid more attention to the thought of Magnus being there than himself being pretty much temporarily dead. "Well it was good that I did! He saved your life didn't he?"
It all began to come back. "He saved my life," Alec bluntly stated. And I didn't thank him. Crap. He knew there was more too it but for now that was all Alec could remember. "I didn't thank him."
"Well how could you have? You were unconscious," But Isabelle quickly figured it out. "Oh my god you were awake. You were conscious the whole time?"
"No. Well, at least I don't think so. But I remember talking to Magnus so I must've been at some point." Isabelle noted the way Alec's eyes became distant and knew he was thinking about the warlock. It broke her heart to see her brother seem so sorrowful.
Okay that's it. This cycle has gone long enough. "Well you have some free time today. Go thank him."
"What? N-no I can't. I mean... I don't know."
"Are you sure you don't know?" Isabelle's face became serious. "Alec, I know you care about him. I might not be sure in what way, but you care about him."
Alec became incredibly nervous. If his sister knew something, what was to say his parents didn't figure out something was up. This wasn't good. But he continued to listen to what she had to say.
"Look, if you really care about him, you can't keep avoiding him like this. Magnus looked crushed when he left and what he feels is important too. If you don't figure out how you feel soon you're going to lose him."
Alec didn't know what to say. What could he say to that? Why did Magnus seem upset? Oh god, what did I say? He sighed. "Iz, everything, and I mean everything I know or have ever been told... tells me this is wrong, tells me that it will end in disaster. S-so what if I do... l-like him?"
He swallowed. It was the first time he said it out loud. It might not have been a confirmation, but he said it out loud. "It doesn't make a difference. I mean, look at mom and dad. They have enough problems to deal with. I can't add this," he shakily gestured with his hands, "...to that."
Isabelle understood. Their parents were not the most approving of people. She knew their reaction wouldn't be a positive one.
"It doesn't matter." She said firmly. "It's not their decision to make. It's yours. If they can't accept it then that's their problem. Not yours. It doesn't matter if they don't approve or if they don't support you. Because you'll be happy, and that's all that really matters. And you know no matter what, whether you're gay or not," Alec flinched at the word. She put her hand gently on his shoulder. "I will be here for you. I am and always will be here for you. You know that right?" He gave a small smile.
"Maybe I'll go talk to him later today," he said quietly.
"Good," Isabelle said as she began to leave the room, knowing her brother would want some space. "I just want you to be happy."
Before she left, Alec spoke up. "And Izzy?" She looked up. "...Thanks."
She grinned. "No problem."
Eventually Alec gained the energy to get up and leave the infirmary. He had come to a decision.
Perhaps he and Magnus were meant to be friends or perhaps they were meant to be more, but either way he had to see him. And maybe give him an explanation. He hadn't really been clear with Magnus about how he felt. Although Alec himself barely knew how he felt, at least he could explain that to Magnus. And he knew he had to see him again.
It had been ages since he had seen Magnus and the truth was he missed him. The night in the infirmary was like a faded vision and Alec still couldn't recall half of what happened. He needed to see Magnus properly, to be able to hold him.
And he was too tired of being scared.
What really worried him were his parents. Robert and Maryse Lightwood were very serious Shadowhunters, but the Lightwoods on the whole were a very loving family and he didn't want to ruin that. He didn't want to tear his family apart because he might be gay, or worse: in love with a warlock.
It struck Alec that he had just considered he might love the warlock. He had said the word 'like', and he had considered 'like', but never 'love'. He knew it was a bit too soon to even consider that, as well as the fact he knew the mere idea should repulse him, but it didn't.
He was tired. He was tired of thinking he was wrong to feel anything. When his sister had left, Alec went through a list of people he knew in his head and realised Isabelle was right. Did it really matter what others thought of him?
As he walked through the corridor, he continued to think of people he knew. His mind stopped at Magnus. Maybe some people's opinion's mater...
And then he was running. He could hardly think, hardly breathe with the huge lump in his throat, but he knew he had to keep running.
He had been about to leave to see Magnus when his mother insisted he and sister sat with her and her friend Eliza.
Alec disliked Eliza. She had always been an overly proud, overly thoughtless woman. However as she was his mother's friend, it was not his place to say so.
So he sat down and tried to make it look like he cared about what was being said.
The topic of conversation somehow changed to downworlders. Perfect timing, thought Alec as he glanced to Isabelle from across the room. Isabelle just shrugged. She was trying her best to change the subject, but was failing miserably.
"...filthy creatures," Eliza was saying. "We shouldn't have to put up with them."
Alec put his head in his hand. He didn't want to hear this.
"Which reminds me, Maryse dear, did you hear of that warlock?" His attention was caught. "The one they found lying lifeless on the streets of Brooklyn only yesterday night?"
It was like the world stopped.
Alec didn't hear his mother's response, or the rest of Eliza's babbling. His head was spinning with thoughts he couldn't fully comprehend. He shot out the door and into the cold of the night, leaving surprised stared behind him.
And then he was running.
Sorry, not the most positive way to end a chapter.
Reviews are welcome! They always make my day :)
