7.
They laughed like never before while she drove him back to the hotel. Suddenly it didn't look so bleak. That tiny reaction was a glimmer of hope. It could actually take years, but time was not a problem. As long as they saw something, she had a good chance of some kind of recovery. And he was giddy because of it.
"So this light comes crashing down and you should have seen them move! The entire city was talking about it. Turns out, an engineer had been working on the lights and this one wasn't secured. Pauly stepped up for his place in roll call then 'crash' right behind him. I had three girls that refused to dance there so we had a constant gap in the crowd. Tough for the cameramen!" he said with the laughing eyes she hadn't seen in years.
Amber smiled as she pulled the car to the curb. These stories were gold. She had walked away from all of that and thought that she never wanted to have anything to do with it again. But it was her life. For four years, she lived and breathed it. He made her realize that there were good parts. It wasn't all the final day.
He looked out the window at the hotel then back to her.
"So why don't we ever talk about you?" He asked with a smile.
She laughed, "Because it's not all about me anymore, remember?"
"Slip back to that Amber Von Tussle role and tell me how you ended up working with children. I wouldn't have imagined….."
"I'm not sure that anyone would." She began, "Those little minds are very pliable. They are easy to mold. Sometimes that's not good. And they don't care who you are or what you've done in the past. If they love you, they love you. In some ways, they are easier than adults. They are nonjudgmental and don't see life through preconceived notions. They go with the flow. Although, I think my mother was the most shocked of all….."
"How is your mother?" he interrupted.
"She is so happy where she is! Down in New Orleans with my ex husband's uncle. It's funny because my wedding was better for her than me. She ended up with someone wonderful! I'm sure it's forever. Wish his nephew was the same" She stared out the front window, lost in thought.
"I'm sorry it didn't work out for you." She heard him say.
"Sometimes I am too"
There was silence. Finally he spoke. "What made you choose Tennessee? What's here?"
"Well, it's not Baltimore, I got away from everything there. The school here is great. The hospital is wonderful. I'm hoping for a position in the Psych ward when I finish residency."
"Would you ever consider coming back home?" he asked as he tilted his head.
She laughed. "I wouldn't exactly call it home. There's not a lot of 'home' there for me. Mother wants me to move by her. I'm not sure I could handle that!"
He smiled and shook his head, "Can't imagine why."
"Really." She giggled, "I don't know where I'm going to end up. But in the long run, the last day I was on your show was truly the best day of my life. Sometimes when you retrospectively look at your worst day, it turns out to be the thing that slaps you into reality."
He looked down and she instantly regretted her words. "At least in my life anyway."
She touched his arm. "I have to tell you, it has been amazing seeing you again. I wish it could have been under different circumstances, but it's been so much fun. You're not really a jerk are you?" She flashed a sly smile.
His eyes sparkled at her, "I can be, if you want"
"Thanks, I'll pass."
"It's been great seeing you too Amber. If someone had told me that I'd find you here, I would have told them they were nuts. You really have turned out to be pretty okay." He smiled and leaned to embrace her. She liked the feeling of this man holding her. It wasn't that bursting firework feeling that she had with Robert. Just a wash of comfort. Too much comfort for a parent of one of her patients. She started to pull away but his arms didn't release. "I just want to tell you thank you for everything that you've done for us. That you've done for me." She heard him whisper.
Her eyes closed. She didn't want him to feel this good. His hand drifted up to her hair as he held her. Oh Lord, this wasn't right, but it felt so right. He wasn't just some man who walked in to the ward two weeks ago. She knew him, how he moved, how he spoke, how he smelled. It was a history that she couldn't, or maybe didn't want to deny. He had been a part of her life for too long. He wasn't a patient's father. He was so much more. More than she even cared to admit.
But the thoughts of her ethics class came into her mind. In the past, he never treated her any differently than her mother's daughter. The affection he showed her now was gratitude, plain and simple. It's well known in the world of therapy, that those treated sometimes think that they feel more than thankfulness toward those helping them. It's almost normal. Once Rosie was released and he went back to his life, he would see it. Amber couldn't encourage something that wasn't really there. She put her hands on his shoulders and broke the embrace.
"I have to be back at 7," she watched his eyes caress her face. "You have to get some sleep. We're going to get her well, right?"
"Right." He sighed, "See you tomorrow?"
"She first on my shift. I'll be there." She smiled
"Night" he slowly moved from the car, never looking back.
He was all alone in that room. She wanted to badly to go with him but knew that it would not be good for either of them. She shifted the car into gear and drove away.
