Chapter 7

Dinah dropped her shopping bag onto her bed with a sigh, and Lucy followed suit. "Well, that was fun! I guess we can re-exchange your money now, before we go back. And you also said you wanted to ask me something?"

"Yeah," Lucy said, handing the money to Dinah and sitting on the bed. "There's a little bit of a story to it. You see, after Sirius died…well, you've already seen how I was. Anyway, Aunt Molly, somewhat rightly, thought my father should be informed of what was going on. Before then I sent him the occasional letter telling him what was going on in my life. I never received much of a response, if any, but I thought it was the right thing to do. He came to the Burrow, took one look at me, and committed me to St. Mungo's against my will. That was the last I've spoken to him. I sent him a note after I got engaged but I got nothing in return. I don't want Sirius to know what he did because I think he'll want to kill my father and I'd like him to stay out of Azkaban. Do I send him an invitation? I don't think he'll come and it wouldn't hurt me if he wasn't there but he is my father."

No wonder her friend had had such a hard time this past year. And this was certainly the information that Severus seemed to have about Lucy's past and had been hesitant to talk about. She had gotten that feeling on multiple occasions, but if this was the reason then she understood completely his respect for Lucy's privacy in the matter. "Lucy," she said softly, sitting down on the bed, "That's awful. I had no idea. But...I really don't know that I can answer that question for you. Does...well, I mean you say you don't care if he wasn't there. How would you feel if he was there?"

Lucy shrugged; she looked ready to cry again, "I don't care. I know that sounds…I know how that sounds but it's true. He never wanted me and," she shook her head, "for a long time I wanted so badly for him to love me but that was never going to happen, so I stopped trying to make it happen. I think he has the right to know and really, I'm apathetic about him being there. I think if he came I might say things. Things I probably should have said a long time ago but things that shouldn't be said at a wedding."

Dinah gave her friend a quick hug, and that seemed to help calm her down a bit. "I don't know what to say, I really don't," she admitted. "But...well, number one since he hasn't responded to you about the engagement yet I think that if you sent an invitation he probably wouldn't come anyway. But then there's always that sort of 'I don't know, maybe he'll suddenly change his mind' thing. But I also don't think that he would be hurt if you didn't invite him. I mean, he would have to expect it. Maybe you should just wait and not invite him. Then send him a letter and tell him about being married after the wedding is over. But it's your choice. I really don't want to give the wrong advice."

Lucy nodded, "I'm not crazy you know. I feel like I have to tell that to people who know…what you know."

She shook her head, "I know that. Believe me, I do. I had plenty of psychological issues myself, if you recall. Different ones, but equally valid and equally not having anything to do with me being crazy. And I have a bit of experience in the subject, being a sociology major and having the disciplines sort of connected. Things like anxiety and being depressed. They happen to perfectly normal, happy people and it's just something you need to get through at your own pace and in your own way. They have nothing to do with being crazy."

"Thanks. I do much better now. I used to feel like I needed him with me all the time. Even if I was with other people. It was better then but I still felt it. Now, I don't need him. Well, I do, but I don't," she laughed a bit, "That doesn't make much sense but I'm sure you know what I mean."

Dinah nodded, "It's a slow process. Now, I know something that will totally cheer you up. Come over here, you've got to see this!" She led Lucy to one of the closets on the wall, "This is Severus's closet. He probably won't like me showing it to you but what he doesn't know won't hurt him. Now, just check this out!" She ripped the door open to reveal what always amused her to no end. About twenty of the exact same black robes stood in a neat line. His rarely-worn Muggle clothes took up no more than a few inches at the very end of the closet, along with an almost never-used pair of semi-dress robes and the dress robes he had worn for their wedding.

Lucy burst out laughing, "I've wondered why he appeared to wear the same thing everyday. I just figured the house elves washed them every night or something."

Dinah laughed, "Admit it, you weren't sure if he washed them at all. Except of course for the fact that I have assured you on numerous occasions that he showers regularly. But seriously, is this not ridiculous? I mean, at least most men have a few different colors and styles that they alternate."

"Sirius does that. He finds a style he likes and he buys it in every color. At least it seems that way. I think I've gotten him to scale back on the more obnoxious colors, though. I don't know if he's always liked colors or if it's got anything to do with having to wear the same thing for twelve years."

Dinah grinned and closed the closet. "See, we've all got our issues. Now, I think I need to give you six galleons and some change. Let me go to the computer and figure it out." After a bit of calculation she handed Lucy six galleons, fourteen sickles, and three knuts.

"Thanks again," she looked at the digital clock Dinah had sitting beside the bed, "If that's the time we should get going if you want to get to the beach today. We could pack a lunch to take with us if you want."

"Okay," Dinah smiled, "I told the boys we'd be back by dinner so we'd probably do the beach tomorrow. But since it's early enough we could still do it today. That'll be nice. Would you like to meet Slinky first?"

"Sure," Lucy said. "I should warn you though; I don't really like the feeling of things crawling on me. I don't know if it's because in my fox form it generally means I have a flea or a tick or if it's just me being a girl."

"I'm a girl, too!" Dinah teased, and then smiled. "No, I get it. You don't have to hold him or anything. I never made you hold Sarepta, did I? I just thought a proper introduction was in order." She led Lucy downstairs, calling; "Slinky!"

"Are you referring to me?" her snake muttered from over at the cage.

"It's a good name," she replied, trying to make her responses short so that Lucy didn't have to listen to too much parseltongue. "I just thought you should meet Lucy. Be nice."

"I'm always nice," he retorted, slithering up to the cage and nodding at Lucy, "Hello."

Dinah turned to face Lucy, "He said hello. I still have to face you directly and think about only addressing you otherwise what I say may come out in parseltongue. But I've been practicing and I hope to be in better control of my abilities by the time we bring him to Hogwarts."

Lucy nodded slowly, "Okay. Hello, Slinky. Nice to meet you."

Dinah turned back to Slinky, "She says hello and it's nice to meet you."

"I think she called me Slinky," he retorted, but nodded at Lucy again, very deliberately so that she could see the movement, "Nice to meet you."

Dinah turned to stare straight at Lucy again, "He said nice to meet you."

Lucy smiled at the snake, "I have to say this is a little weird for me. I've only talked to a couple rats, a handful of dogs, three or four cats, and most fox, before now. Oh, and Sarepta too."

"If I translate that, you're going to be hearing more parseltongue than you're used to," Dinah said, not taking her eyes off of Lucy, "Just a warning."

She nodded, "Thanks for the warning. It's far less freaky when you know it's coming."

Dinah smiled and translated Lucy's words for Slinky. After he had responded she turned back to Lucy, "He said he hopes you have a chance to talk again. He likes meeting people. I think he and I have a really good thing going here, for that reason. Now, if only I could get him to stop complaining about his name."

Lucy laughed, "Well, I've sometimes wondered how Dora feels about her name myself."

Dinah shrugged, "Who knows. Although you could ask her, couldn't you? You said you've talked to other cats."

"Um, it's not quite talking exactly. I'm not sure how to explain it. Just after Sirius had escaped from Azkaban and he was after Peter Pettigrew he was able to communicate with Hermione's cat, Crookshanks. He learned from the cat that he'd been able to steal a list of passwords from a boy's bedside table but Sirius didn't learn Crookshanks's name until later when he was told it by another person."

"Ah, I see. It's more like images then? Just kind of an idea of what they're thinking?"

"More just an idea with the odd image thrown in here and there. At least that's how it is for me...and Sirius too. It could be different for other animagi I suppose."

"That's really interesting," Dinah agreed, then translated good-byes for Lucy and Slinky before she and her friend headed back into the main hall. "I thought about using an invisibility charm on the baby clothes, but maybe I should just leave them out. In that case, I'll know Severus will see them when we come home so I'll be in effect forced to tell him beforehand."

Lucy nodded; "That's one idea for telling him. I was just going to bring mine like this. The bag doesn't say anything about babies so it should be okay. Just to warn you though, I've been thinking about it and I'll probably tell him tonight."

"Okay..." Dinah shoved away her uneasiness by changing the subject, "Hey, you know those things you picked up in the drugstore?" She grinned wickedly, "Would you like me to tell you what they are now?"

She laughed, "Judging by your face I'm not sure I want to know, but go ahead and tell me."

Dinah laughed, "It's not that bad, it'll just seem very different to you. Those things are one of many Muggle versions of a protection spell. In their case, they're for men and... Well, they're rubber and their shape is such that they fit very nicely over bananas if you get my meaning."

Lucy flushed, "I suppose it was a good thing we didn't buy them then. Muggles sure have a way of making up for the things they lack, don't they?" she gasped and covered her mouth, "I'm sorry, that probably sounded like I think myself superior. That's not how I meant it."

"It's okay," Dinah said. "It's true a protection spell is much more convenient. It really pleased Dylan when we were dating."

"I imagine so. Those things did seem to be very concerned with the women's pleasure. Have you ever tried them? I wonder if they feel as nice as they say…There were a whole bunch of those things at the store; do they come in different kinds?" Lucy asked, embarrassingly curious about the condoms.

"They do," she smiled, finding Lucy's curiosity amusing but not at all surprising. "I only tried one once, the first time I had sex with Dylan. I told him I was a witch after that, so there was no more need. And we just used a plain one, unfortunately. You could try one, though it might bug Sirius. More often than not they're an annoyance to men, I think. But there are other Muggle methods of birth control. Protection spells definitely win in my book, though."

"Hmm, perhaps I'll keep them in mind for later. After all, I know someone who can help me procure some, right?" she smiled.

Dinah laughed; "I'd be glad to whenever your curiosity strikes. Ready to apparate back?"

"I am if you are," Lucy began laughing, "You know even if you had put an invisibility spell on those clothes you would have still had to explain the five positive pregnancy tests in the bathroom."

"Oops," Dinah laughed, "Well, there we have it then. One way or another, I've got to tell him."

With that somewhat uneasy thought they apparated back to Lucy's bedroom in Hogsmeade. "Well, here we are. What's the plan?"

"Um, I think I want to tell him now," she said, putting down her bag. "Do you mind going down and sending Sirius up? This should be done in private I suppose."

"Sure," she shifted her stance, a little uncomfortable to go down and see Severus now that she had this ultimatum hanging over her. "Wait here, I'll send him up." She adjusted the purple necklace she had bought at the store around her neck and left the room. She had put it on before starting the car to drive back home, hoping it could at least stall her as clear evidence that they had indeed gone shopping. The style was generic enough that it could have been bought at a Muggle or a magical store.

The kitchen was empty when she entered it, so she headed to the living room. Sirius was now reading the newspaper with Dora curled up on his lap while Severus had switched over to the potions book. They both looked up when she came in.

"That was fast," Severus said, marking his place in the book and setting it aside.

"How'd the shopping go?" Sirius asked, looking up from his paper and idly stroking Dora.

"Good," she came into the room and perched on the arm of the chair Severus was seated in, "We bought some jewelry."

"Nice," Severus said, giving her necklace a flick, "And Lucy?"

"Mm," she forced herself to rip her gaze from her husband's eyes and look at Sirius, "She's upstairs, and feeling much better. I'm supposed to send you up to go and see her."

He leapt up, dumping Dora off his lap, and muttering, "Excuse me," as he left the room.

"Wow!" Dinah knew her mouth was hanging open as she stared at where he'd disappeared into the hall leading to the stairs; "And here I thought he was calm."

Severus shook his head, "He's been alternating between reading the paper and pacing the entire time since she got mad at him this morning. Rather distracting when one is trying to read, actually. Ugh," he groaned as Dora jumped into his lap.

Dinah laughed, "She loves you. Well, she loves everybody, but still. Um... Severus?" Her chest tightened up. She would try to tell him now.

"Yes?"

"I...um..." Where to start? I went to a Muggle doctor without telling you? I'm pregnant? Everybody knows and you don't yet? Should she apologize right away or after she told him? And...about the Muggle doctor thing. Would he be angry? Would he be willing to let her...? Her thoughts trailed off into oblivion and her resolve disappeared. Instead she wrapped her arms around his neck and closed her eyes, "I missed you."

"You were only gone for a little over two hours."

"I don't care. I missed you anyway."

He shifted and his arms came up around her, holding her close. He didn't say anything, but she knew he was probably wondering what exactly was up with her. She was definitely acting strange now, she could tell. But she didn't want to tell him just yet. Just wanted to enjoy this warmth for a little while longer, before any potential problems started. Now that she'd dug herself into this hole, telling him now might destroy this precious moment. She had promised she wouldn't do this anymore. That she wouldn't keep things from him after all that had happened last year. He trusted her and she was doing the same thing again. She felt awful, and it only made her put it off more, afraid that he'd be furious with her or even deeply hurt that she would hold off on telling him this long. She didn't know what to do anymore.

And that was the problem with digging deeper and deeper holes. You might never get yourself out.