7.Final Word
"We've looked all over the backlands, our territory and across the borderline, and we still can't find him!"Paul snapped, irritated,"Where the hell is this guy?"
"Calm yourself Paul,"I said, frowning a little at his behavior, once again. I knew how he felt though. Quil and I had told Sam about the footprints and we had spent the next few nights looking all over unmarked territory, but we still couldn't find him. We had gotten as far as Forks itself..and then the guy's scent had just..disappeared; faded without a trace. It had never happened with the pack before, and everyone was convinced that we didn't have just any natural disappearance on our hands. This possibility was making everyone a little irritable, especially Paul.
"The only explanation we can come up with right now is a murder,"Sam said firmly, watching Paul. The firelight reflected eerily on his face.
We had all met up at the cliffs to discuss what was going on, the air up here was cooler even though it was an August evening. I had just gotten here from Taj's house, and part of me still wished I was there instead of being stuck with an irritated group of werewolves. The past few days had actually been pretty nice with Taj, at first I had been put-out at being forced to work with her, but after she had apologized, well, I had more respect for her. Plus, we had been friends before, and I didn't want to let go of that just because of some misunderstanding. So I had agreed to start over, and things were actually pretty good, even better than that. Spending time with Taj was a nice break from the pack, it was almost like..being normal again. But like the way it really used to be. I still talked to some of my friends from school, but it just hadn't been the same with them since the change, it was almost like some part of them knew. And plus that, Sam said it would be risky to get too close with anyone outside the pack.
But with Taj, she acted the same with me, just like when we had been kids. Like nothing had ever happened. And she just seemed accepting, there was just a vibe I got from her, that she was a good person. That she would never hurt me, that nothing could go wrong when the two of us were together. I had only felt like that with one other person, a long time ago..
..But they had hurt me, in more ways than one.
"Stop trying to kid yourself!"Paul cried, pacing now, his hands were shaking as he paced, stopping near the edge of the cliff,"We all know it has to do with those bloodsuckers Sam, one way or another, it does. This hasn't even happened to you before."
Embry growled, his eyes darkening,"Shut it, Paul! None of us know what's exactly going on, and you throwing a tantrum isn't helping us any."
A snarl ripped from Paul's throat, his nostrils flaring. Embry growled lowly in reply, but didn't stand up to meet his challenge. It had been a long day for everyone.
"Will you two cut it out?"Leah snapped,"I have work in the morning and your bickering is cutting into my bedtime."
I looked over at Sam,"Well, what can we really do?"
Sam sighed, resting his chin in his palm, his eyebrows furrowed in thought, he shook his head,"I really don't know what to tell everyone, this is the first time that this has happened. But if the coven had been involved we would have caught their scent, for now the closest explanation we have is a murder, until we uncover a new scent or find any clues."
The pack settled into an uneasy silence, this was the first time that Sam really wasn't sure of what was going on. Sam who always had the answers, who was always so sure of himself, the right leader, the alpha, wasn't sure. This couldn't mean anything good for the pack. Or Forks, for that matter, if people kept disappearing. I was blank on answers too, the only explanation I could come up with was..well, that the coven was up to something. If it had been a murder, the scent would still be around for a couple of days.
"What's the most puzzling is that there aren't any leads,"Sam said almost to himself,"Joe McCarthy was juts visiting distant family for the weekend, he wasn't even a resident. So he goes on a hike, gets lost..but heads back in the direction of town and disappears? It doesn't add up."
"It must have been a body,"Quil said, shrugging,"Otherwise they would have reported him found by now."
"But who would bring a body into Forks?"Leah frowned,"Wouldn't you want to take it away from civilization?"
"I have a theory of who would bring a body into Forks,"Paul said from the log he was laying on.
"Paul, please, just give us a break,"Jared said, groaning.
"Well at least I'm paying attention,"Paul said pointedly, looking at me.
"What?"I asked, taking in Paul coolly.
"I know we're not the most entertaining company as of lately,"Paul said, sitting up,"But can you stop thinking about her for a few minutes and focus on what's going on? It's mildly important."
And then, like magic, I was suddenly dragged into the limelight. Everyone's gazes fell on me.
"Well heaven forbid if I think about Taj for a few minutes,"I growled,"I was thinking more about her car anyways, if you don't mind."
Paul laughed,"That's not what I saw."
I scowled at him, intent on repaying him for that comment, and making me endure what I was now.
"You do think about her a bit, Jake,"Leah said slowly, watching me.
"So?"I said defensively,"I've been on punishment with her, if I've been spending time with her I'm obviously going to think about her a little."
"But now you're choosing to spend time with her,"Embry said calmly.
Why was everyone so bent on me imprinting on someone? I mean, couldn't I just hang out with a girl without being over analyzed? I mean, I understand that they were only worried about me, especially after Bella had left, but me imprinting on someone wasn't going to change anything.
"I don't like her if that's what you're all getting at,"I said slowly as I looked over them, my tone icy,"And I was focused on what we were talking about until you brought it up Paul, now can we get back to our original conversation? Unless you guys think that somehow Taj has something to do with this weird disappearance."
Everyone fell silent, the fire popped, sending bright sparks into the sky, fading into ashes on the wind.
"Well excuuse me,"Leah commented prudently.
"A little bit defensive, don't ya think Jake?"Quil asked, looking at me humorously,"It's okay though, I mean, kinda weird that she's my cousin, but it's cool."
Ugh! How could I put this bluntly to them?
"Okay, listen, I'm just spending time with Taj to help her with her car, that's it!"I said, looking at everyone,"After it's done I won't have anything to do with her anymore, it'll be just the pack again, twenty-four seven."
"I like Taj though,"Leah frowned sullenly,"Does that mean I have to stop hanging out with her too?"
I sighed and rubbed my forehead, feeling a headache coming on. But at least the subject was closed, now we could move on to more impor-
He's just afraid that she'll leave him, like the last one did for that parasite, the thought hissed in my mind, burning white-hot and my head snapped in Paul's direction. Everyone was looking at him a little shocked, Quil and Embry looked stormy though. I felt the similar rush of fire race down my back and a growl came from my chest as I stepped towards Paul, I wanted the change though, I wanted to tear at Paul's throat. My body began to shake at the thought, wanting the change more than anything. I closed my eyes though, pushing away the red that rushed in front of my eyes, I took deep breaths, quelling the fire that had built up in me. Soon only my hands were shaking, but before anyone could say anything I walked away from the group, towards the street. I wanted to get away from everyone, and maybe I would change, just to put more miles between all of us at a quicker pace, to forget the anger, the loss and feel nothing but the damp soil and the breeze hitting my face. Not to feel like Jacob Black anymore, just for a little while.
"He didn't mean that,"A calm voice said behind me.
I turned around, already knowing who it was. Sam came to a halt behind me, his hands in his pockets, I could feel his eyes on mine even though it was too dark to see his expression.
"Everyone's just a little irritated,"Sam continued, stepping towards me,"Especially Paul. You know how he gets."
"Yeah, I know,"I said submissively, leaning against Quil's truck,"I can't help it though when they say things like that."
Sam nodded,"I understand, I'm actually surprised you didn't push him off the cliff. That took a lot of self-control."
I shrugged,"You get a lot of practice after a while."
A small gap of silence fell between us, something rustled in the brush and I glanced over, probably a rabbit or something.
"You do seem happier lately,"Sam said slowly,"You can tell just by looking at your face."
Ugh, Sam too? Did a guy ever get a break around here?
"I don't like-"I started, but he cut me off.
"I didn't say that, I just made an observation,"Sam said calmly.
I sighed slowly, not wanting to jump all over him,"I have been happier lately. It's like, when I hang out with her..I feel normal again. Not like I do with other people, this is more real. Like with.."I trailed off hesitantly, I probably sounded like an idiot. I knew none of us could be normal again, this was our fate, and we had to face it one way or another, we couldn't try running away from it.
"With Bella,"Sam finished, nodding slowly,"I can understand how that could be a tough relationship to give up. Do you like her?"
"No! I..no, no I don't like her. Not like that,"I said quickly, and the words sounded more real, more valid as I said them, it calmed me a little,"I just saw Taj that day and she looked so hostile, I guess like I did. I didn't want her to be like that, so I've been spending time with her to try to make her happier, and it's been working lately, I think."
Sam nodded, understanding,"You want to protect her innocence. She has had a rough time the past couple of years,"He paused for a moment to glance over the dark sky,"This is doing her more harm than good though Jake, if you're planning on leaving, that is. How is she going to react?"
I hadn't gotten that far, I hadn't even planned on getting this far, and that's when I realized that I might have just dug myself into a hole. How would Taj react when I suddenly stopped hanging out with her? Would she be like..I pictured Bella's face a couple of years ago, after the parasite had left Bella, her face stood out vividly and it horrified me that I might hurt Taj that way..I didn't want to think about that. But there was nothing else I could do, I couldn't keep hanging out with her. What if I lost it one day and I really hurt her? Or what if she started noticing things and started questioning me?
"I don't mean to burst your bubble Jake, but you can't keep hanging out with her. You could hurt her, and that would hurt you more than leaving her,"Sam said, voicing my thoughts,"Not to mention it would put the pack in danger, it is even now. I don't want Taj to know if she doesn't have to, and I'm sure you would want it the same."
His words hit me with finality, but Sam was right, Sam was always right. And I did want it the same, letting Taj know would put her in danger as well, especially with Paul. But I thought about not going over her house anymore, something I had grown used to in the past week, about not seeing her face light up when she saw me. ..I didn't want to give that up. It was selfish but..No, no this would be easy. I could leave her if I really wanted to, even without a second glance. We were just friends after all, it wasn't like we were married or anything. I wondered briefly how Sam knew about what had happened to Taj.
"Yeah, yeah I know,"I said, nodding quickly,"No big deal, I'm sticking with what I said before. As soon as the car is done, I'm out of there. I'll just say dad needs help around the house and I'll stop hanging out with her. There'll be more time to find out what's going on anyways."
And once again, the words seemed more real, more final as I said them, believable even, especially to myself. It gave me more strength to be able to just walk away. I had my own problems to worry about, more important problems. Taj Williams had survived without me before, she would survive after I left.
But would I?
It had been an after thought, of course I would be fine. She was just some girl, it didn't matter.
"I'm sorry,"Sam suddenly said, his eyes on me.
I met his gaze, even smiled a little,"For what?"
