7. Sapphire

Walking home, an ominous sense of dread began to coil around her heart. She realised that she might have been a little harsh and cold with the way she treated him.

Right after the rescue, she justified her reaction as a necessity for her own protection and preservation. Except in doing so, she had built a wall to keep him out, not giving him a chance to explain himself, using the overwhelming sense of betrayal and abandonment to attack him at every opportunity. Even though deep down within the recess of her heart she knew Haymitch would have tried his best where she was concerned, she couldn't dig deep enough to hold that feeling in her hand when it was too filled with anger.

It took two hands to clap and she had not tried to hear his side of the story - that was true. Soon after she learnt of his vote, it truly felt as if she had reached her limit with him and she had let her emotions cloud her judgment.

He always had a reason for doing the things he did, and she had been afraid to hear his reason for that vote – that a part of him wanted to see the Capitol children suffered the same, as ridiculous as that sound.

She stopped, her hand gripping the back of the bench. She felt disgusted with herself. She felt dirty that she would think that of him. He wasn't like that. He wasn't. She knew him and the person he was.

It was just the treacherous need to not be let down and left disappointed again that was making her irrational.

She had been in that cell, crushed by the weight of realisation that the soldiers were not going to take her with them. She had watched them freed Peeta, Johanna and Annie, and when she pleaded, one had sent an apologetic glance her way, claiming her name wasn't on the list. Johanna had had enough strength in her to claw a soldier's arm, demanding that Effie be taken with them and cursing when they didn't.

After they left and she was once again alone with her thoughts in that dark, depressing cell, she had hated Haymitch. It was easier to hate him for not including her name like she meant very little instead of making excuses for him.

But now... Now, she was in a better place. She wasn't hurting physically; she wasn't in pain or on medications and she could think rationally.

The man she knew would never have allowed that to happen. There must have been something in District Thirteen that had prevented him from making sure her name was on the list.

Effie sat on the bench until her breathing was under control, and she unclenched her fist slowly. Her eyes scanned her surroundings to remind herself of where she was. The panic attacks while still present had lessened over the months, but she was always fearful of experiencing one in public.

Not wanting to be alone with her thoughts, and knowing that going back to Haymitch's apartment would not be a wise decision right now, Effie made a call to Plutarch asking if he could please extend his generosity by sending her to District Four via a hovercraft.

It took some manner of persuasion but by mid-afternoon, she was enroute.

"I had a sense that … that he is willing to work things out," Effie admitted, swirling her glass of wine absent-mindedly long after Annie had tucked Finn to bed.

"Are you?" Annie asked gently.

"I don't know," Effie sighed. "When we parted, we were both so bitter and angry, and how does anyone move past that?"

Annie smiled softly, taking Effie's hand in her own. "You forgive each other. Haymitch... I don't believe he was angry with you. It was himself that he was angry with. Have you thought of it that way, Effie?"

"What are you on about, Annie?" Johanna scoffed.

"Effie was his responsibility and he failed you. He must have been angry, he must have hated himself for that," Annie spoke quietly. "He just wants to do right by you when he asked that you come with him. It was … It must have been his way to make sure that no more harm will come to you, don't you think? Not bringing you with him to Thirteen, not telling you everything he knew, and keeping you an arm's length away was his way of protecting you but that didn't quite work out well the first time round so could it be that he was still trying to do the same by keeping you close? You know him better than any of us."

"He could be trying to make up for what happened to me," Effie countered.

"Yes," Annie hummed in agreement, "he couldn't protect you once, now he is trying to do exactly that by insisting you come with him."

"You know exactly what you were getting yourself into when you went to get those tokens," Johanna pointed out. "Your damn gold wig... That's not exactly subtle."

"I do know," Effie said indignantly. "It was a statement I chose to make by aligning myself with the Mockingjay. I do not blame him for that. I was just – I was left behind in that cell, Johanna. I was left behind again when he left for Twelve."

Johanna frowned. "He fucking asked you to Twelve, Trinket."

"After I found out his vote!" Effie let out a trembling breath. It was bad timing on his part. "How could I go with him then? How could you expect me to? If my nephew wasn't killed during the bombing, he would have been part of the Games, do you understand? You and him and Katniss voted for it."

Johanna clenched her jaws and crossed her arms.

"Why the fuck are you here then if you still haven't gotten over the fucking votes?"

Effie deflated. She was so tired of arguing.

"You're a fucking mess, Trinket," Johanna went on.

"Stop it, please," she whispered.

"You can't sit there and be okay with me when you're not with him. We voted for the same fucking thing. So tell me," Johanna sneered, "you mad at me, too?"

"No," she shook her head.

"So it's just you holding a double standard," Johanna went on mercilessly.

"No! I didn't love you the way I loved him! You never knew about my family. You didn't know about my nephew. He did, Johanna. He knew about Emmanuel when he made the vote."

"Your nephew's dead and he probably fucking knew that too by the time Coin called for the vote. Get over yourself," she spat. "The Games didn't happen in the end. You're stubborn and he's stubborn. Nothing's gonna change if one of you ain't willing to change it. Fucking forgive him already. The world doesn't revolve around you and if you can't get over that, maybe he should stop pining for you and find someone else."

It was stupid and it sounded downright petulant but she said it anyway, "He's not pining for me."

"He came to the Capitol for you. Look, Effie," Johanna sighed and like Haymitch, she very rarely used her name that it made Effie raised her head. "We all have things we're mad about but it's got to end at some point, y'know? I like you and I like him. You're all..." Johanna swallowed, "family. He's as close to a dad as I can get, and I'm not saying you're like my mum or anything, but fucking work it out, man. If it comes down to it, I'm not choosing between you and him."

"It's alright," Effie blinked rapidly, trying to clear the tears pooling in her eyes. "I wouldn't fight custody over you."

"You bitch," Johanna muttered, grabbing the bottle of wine Effie was reaching for.

It made Effie laughed at least, as did Annie. Effie knew the entire conversation had her on edge. She never liked it when they fought.

"Your heart is not made of stone, Effie. I – I know you can find it in you to forgive him," Annie rubbed clutched her hand. "Maybe not now right away, but slowly, yes? Don't let what happened in prison change you. Don't let them win."

Johanna's tough method and Annie's gentle ways were exactly what she needed, and she would always be grateful for their friendship. She might need time to come to terms with all that had transpired between Haymitch and herself, but she was determined to stop holding him at an arm's length away. He would have an explanation and she should hear it.

Monday morning saw Haymitch leaning against the wall at the steps up to the Parliament house, hands buried deep in his pocket. At the sight of her, he pushed himself off the wall and waited until she climbed the stairs.

"Where were you?" he asked

"I beg your pardon?"

"I called Saturday night and on Sunday – you didn't pick up."

Effie looked his way, a little surprised by that information. He reached forward, pressing the button for the elevator when it was clear she wasn't going to do it.

"I was not home," she informed him. "I visited District Four."

"Right," he nodded, holding the lift door open to allow her to enter. "How are they?"

"They are doing quite well. Finn is growing so big by the day. Soon, he'd be able to walk," she shared that information with him. "Anyway, is something the matter?"

"Nothin," he shook his head and it was only when he rubbed the back of his neck that it occurred to her that he was feeling uncomfortable. "You – uh – you said back in Twelve that I could try calling. Shouldn't have chased you outta the house."

"You didn't," Effie assured him. "I – We needed …. It was a heavy conversation and we both needed a little space."

"That's the reason you went to Four?"

Her silence was answer enough. The elevator chimed, signaling their arrival. They walked down the corridor side by side when Effie remembered.

"Oh," she stopped in her tracks. "I nearly forgot. I got you this."

Effie handed him the paper bag she was holding. He shot her a curious look before extracting the bottle of Bombay Sapphire from the bag, a brand that could only be found in Four. He seemed a little wary as he studied his gift.

"Are you tryin' to pay me off so I'd drop this and go home?"

She gasped because that did not even cross her mind.

"No, of course not," she exclaimed indignantly. "I – It is for you, simply so."

"Thanks," he muttered.

He still sounded skeptical.

"My behavior toward you has been very appalling," she said. "You were right. I didn't listen to you to understand. I get my information from others instead but it wasn't your facts."

He nodded and perhaps it was where they were – in the middle of the corridor outside of the conference room – because he lifted the bottle to inspect it instead of addressing the elephant in the room.

"Blue, like your eyes," he commented with a lopsided grin.

"Perhaps one day, you'll make me a drink and we'll talk," she offered him a smile and left it at that.

He would recognise the tentative olive branch for what it was and they would have plenty of time to smooth out the wrinkles in their relationship, if one could call it that, but for now, the 12th arena was waiting for them.


and to Effie, I say: progress.

Let me know what you think of this chapter with Effie & Haymitch, and Effie with Jo + Annie. Leave your reviews and it'll be the best present especially on my birthday today ehehe.