It was the first time I had been alone in Edward's room, since I was 14, aside from my birthday. I couldn't help but look around. I tried to be careful as I snooped, but my clumsiness would not be denied and I accidentally knocked something off his shelf, looking through his CDs. Downstairs I could hear beautiful music coming from the grand piano, knowing it was Edward playing. It sounded so sorrowful, yet beautiful. I wished he would never stop, but as I bent down to pick up the object, a trophy, big surprise, I realized the music had cut off abruptly. I was fixing up my mess when suddenly Edward came bounding into his room, yelling and waving a bat.
"It's me! Its just me!" I screamed, slightly terrified. He flicked on the lights and glared at me.
"Jesus, Bella! What are you doing? I could have killed you!"
"So-sorry. Who-oo were you ex-p-p-ecting, the Fratellis?'" I replied, my teeth were chattering, the cold soaking into my skin.
"Did you come in through the window? Its freezing outside…put this on before you catch pneumonia," he ordered, throwing me one of his sweatshirts. I remembered I still had his other one, that I couldn't hep but wear to bed. I put it on and breathed in his scent.
"Why are you here?" he then demanded to know.
"I just needed to know you were alright," I told him softly, avoiding his gaze.
"I'm fine. Now can you leave."
"Fine? How can you say that? Emmett's gone, your parents are getting a divorce and your family is just torn apart. You can't be fine. What is going on, Edward? Nothing makes sense!"
"You're right! You have no idea what's going on. None! And it isn't your concern. All I want is for you to stay the hell away from me. Do you understand? You want to do something for me? Make my life easier, then pretend like you don't even know me."
"But…"
"I mean it. I'm no good for you. If you know what's best for you, you'll stay away."
"What if I don't care about doing what's best for me? What if I don't care if you're no good for me?"
"Don't say that. Don't ever think that way."
"Edward—!"
"No, you're no good for me, either Bella. I wish my family had never moved here. I wish I never became your friend. I wish I never knew your name! I want you out of my fucking life."
I couldn't listen anymore. I ran—right down the stairs, tripping to the floor and cutting up my knees, but I didn't stop. I ran out the door and back to my house, where I collapsed once inside and cried. I cried until the tears refused to come and eventually passed out. Somehow I woke up in my bed, my eyes raw and head aching.
*E. POV*
I waited for Bella's light to come on, but it never did. I was just going to check on her and make sure she was okay. When I gently opened her front door, I saw her laying there in a heap, asleep in front of me. My heart tightened. It wasn't fair. I gently bent down and scooped her into my arms and carried her up to her room. I tucked her in and wiped the left over tears with my thumb. She must have been exhausted because she didn't stir. I bent my head and kissed her, knowing I shouldn't have. I watched her sleep, needing to believe I was doing the right thing. Knowing now, more than ever, this was necessary. I was in her room again. It was always dangerous of me to sneak in her when she was asleep, but sometimes I just needed to see her. She always was a deep sleeper.
"Edward…" she sighed in her sleep and my heart stuttered. And sleep talker.
"Why don't you love me?"
A couple tears leaked out of my eyes and I quickly brushed them away, as to not obstruct my view of her. This was the last good look at Bella I was allowed and I wanted every moment of it. I noticed her locket dangling and couldn't help but open it. I was both happy and saddened that she had a picture of me inside. She should move on. It would be better for her, but I was selfish, just like Kathy and wanted her all for myself.
I went back home, but couldn't sleep, my mind going back to Freshmen year. The beginning of the end.
Flashback~
Luis, this is my son Edward and his friend Bella," Carlisle chuckled as Edward and Bella came bounding into the living room, practically running Luis over. He grabbed them both and steadied them, so they wouldn't fall down from the collision.
"Sorry," the two friends quickly said, embarrassed.
"No harm," the man told them, looking at them curiously.
"Edward, Luis is a very old friend of mine. He finally found some time to visit."
"Nice to meet you," Edward said politely, shaking his hand.
"And this is Bella," Carlisle added. Bella shook his hand a little nervously. The man was hauntingly beautiful and something about him scared her. He patted both of their shoulders, saying how good it was to meet them.
Edward had thought little about the encounter until a week later, the man, Luis, came back.
"Can I speak with you a moment, Edward?" he asked, directing him to Carlisle's study.
"You and Bella have a fascinating connection...Its very rare. I'm sure you're too young to really realize this, but it won't make what I have to tell you any easier to hear."
He then told Edward that his family was going to have some difficulties ahead. Some bad things were going to happen, but he needed to trust his father and be patient. Things with his family would work out, but he was concerned. He told him Bella was in danger if she continued to be his friend. If he truly cared about her, he would walk away from her.
Edward had a hard time believing him or understanding what he meant. But Luis said he could not tell Edward everything, that it had to be this way. His family had to stay where they were and just wait. It was the best solution. But he was very clear and adamant about Bella.
When Luis left, Edward went to his father to tell him what he was told, expecting Carlisle to laugh it off or tell him not to listen, but his father got very serious and told him to do exactly what Luis had told him. He said that Luis could see things, it was hard to explain, but he different,special. Luis had been gifted as a very talented psychic, his method was through touch. He said if Luis went out of his way to warn Edward, it must be very grave. He then went into a story where Luis had known something very important about a small village. He tried to warn them about a volcano eruption that would wipe out the whole place, but no one listened and then the village was lost forever. Edward trusted his father and wanted to keep Bella safe, so he believed him and did what he had to do to keep her away; he was mean, cruel. Starting with her birthday.
It took Edward a couple weeks to really work up to destroying his friendship. He just didn't have the heart to really go through with it. Luis must have realized Edward's inability to believe him and made a major prediction, no one could predict, he knew everything down to the exact deathtoll. Of course it came true and scared the hell out of Edward. He would not let Bella die; she would live a happy fulfilled life.
End flashback~
Edward rolled over on his bed, trying to shake his fears. He thought about Bella and how at one point he actually did hate her, well at least he thought he did, when he thought she began sleeping around and became someone else, but he was wrong, even then. He never stopped loving her. He just had to convince himself that he did, so he wasn't tempted to pull her back into his life. He was just angry and confused. It had been extremely hard to stay away, especially when she became hard to avoid. It was easier when he didn't have to see her all the time, but it was never easy.
His life was now like a living nightmare, but if Luis was right, he had to have faith in his father. Father, he snickered, what a joke. He laughed darkly, but didn't really mean it. He loved his family...
Flashback~
"Jasper, Edward, there is something we need to tell you," Carlisle told them, sitting them down. It was four days since the accident.
"Emmett's dead, isn't he?" Edward asked.
"You won't be able to see Emmett anymore…he's gone," Carlisle started. Esme gave him a sad, but encouraging look as she held her sons.
"First I think we should start from the beginning. There is something you should know and we have kept it from you too long…Esme and I are not your real parents…"
"What?" Jasper asked. Edward said nothing, too stunned.
Carlisle then proceeded to tell them how their parents had been murdered and Esme and Carlisle took them in, knowing they would have to give them up, but when it came finally time, Esme couldn't do it and Carlisle didn't have the heart to deny her, he loved them so much as well. The Carlisle explained that they had to go away for a couple of days and Esme would not be coming back. Separation is the word Carlisle used, but everything felt false to Edward.
They left that night, but Jasper couldn't let it go. He followed them in his car.
One week later:
Carlisle came home, alone and called Edward into his study to talk. He tried to tell Edward that it was just them now and Esme and Jasper were not coming back. He asked him to please not ask him any questions because he could not tell him what he needed to know. It wasn't safe, but Edward refused to let it go. Nothing made sense and he deserved to know what he was hiding. Carlisle felt he had no choice in the end, but to be straight with Edward. Though he didn't know how to tell him or how he would take it.
"You remember my friend Luis who came for a visit a few years back?" Edward nodded. "He was a very special person. Do you remember what I told you about him? He could see things when he touched someone. He could see their future."
"Why are we talking about this?" Edward asked with dread..
"He was murdered a couple months ago by the same group of people who killed your real parents. Except they're not really people, not human. They're…vampires…"
Edward just laughed. "This is a joke right? This is crazy…" he scoffed.
"It's no joke. I know it's hard to believe. Haven't you ever noticed strange things that you couldn't explain? There is a reason you felt that way. There are so many things that are just too hard for you to believe. There is a hidden world; you never knew you were part of. It's my fault I should have never allowed you kids to come so close to my world. We kept saying we would cross that bridge when we came to it, but we just kept pushing it back, not wanting to see it and now…I'm so sorry Edward. We only wanted the best for you kids and now Emmett and jasper…"
"Emmett and Jasper what??? Dad, this is insane. Your world? Hidden world? This isn't a comic book, a movie, this is reality…I don't understand…why are you doing this?"
"Edward, have you never noticed how Esme and myself are somewhat…different?" Edward stared, silent.
"Edward I am almost 3,000 years old." Edward laughed again. This was absurd.
"I'm sorry for being so abrupt now. The truth is that I'm a vampire, Edward. And so is Esme…and now so are Emmett and Rosalie…and... Jasper too."
Edward shook his head, refusing to listen, to believe.
He went to explain how he himself became one, how he turned Esme after her fall. About how they decided to turn Emmett and Rosalie after it was certain they would never pull through as human. He told him how Jasper was an accident. He had followed them to where Emmett and Rosalie were kept hidden, with a family in Alaska. Jasper ran in and Rosalie being a 'newborn' couldn't control herself. She bite him before they could pull her off him and it was too late to stop the change. Now they were all recuperating in Alaska, until they could control their impulses and new powers. Edward was dazed. His mind refused to process it. It took a demonstration on Carlisle's part for him to believe what he was hearing. It was a tribute to who Carlisle was that Edward wasn't completely terrified out of his mind. He explained how it worked, too. No, the sunlight thing was a myth and the coffins, he explained. The shock of the conversation made everything somewhat comical to Edward. It was too bizarre to be totally pissed off, especially when the motives were so good. He could never hate his father or Esme, he loved them too much. But it wasn't fair. He was now the odd man out; alone. Carlisle explained that he would stay with Edward, but Edward already felt abandoned. Edward was curious about how Carlisle and Esme managed to live such normal lives.
"We don't need sleep, but we can. We drink animal blood instead, because we don't want to be like that. There are others like us, but others who are very dangerous," Carlisle explained. "Emmett's accident was no accident. There is a coven, who wants to destroy us. I thought we could hide, but I should have known it was only a matter of time before they found us…I'm so sorry, Edward.
Edward was in shock and needed some time to adjust to everything and Carlisle gave him his space. He thought about Luis and what he had warned him about. How is family would have difficulties but everything would work out if he listened to his father. He knew he had to trust Carlisle. He thought about Bella, about what Luis warned him about her. He had never expected in his wildest dreams anything as messed up as this. Now that he needed Bella more than ever, he knew he had to keep her away.
"Bella, cannot be with you…Bella being cut out of your life is her only chance at a normal life, possibly at life at all," Luis' words rang in his head. Did that mean Edward's chance at a normal life, any life at all, was impossible? He couldn't help but wonder.
End flashback~
I'll just leave. Run away. That way Bella is protected and my family doesn't have to worry about taking care of me. Not like I can see my brothers anyways, not for a long time and even then, they won't be the same will they? I don't belong anywhere…Then a wave of anger hit him and he changed his plan a bit. He was going to Alaska. He would not be shut out of his own family, no matter how dangerous it was. Quickly he began to pack.
*********
Please review : )
