Do you know the feeling of being useless, like you're sitting around as everyone frantically tries to keep up with everything?
I do.
Right now I'm lounged against Harrisyn's beating chest as maids I don't even know swiftly place elegant dresses into my bundle of cases. Throwing out all the 'out of style' dresses I scrappily chucked in before. I've managed to catch glimpses of Adleya's glistening blonde hair and Tansy's minute form but nothing more. An urge in my body compels me to jump up and help but Harrisyn's callused hand pins me down by my shoulder. The pins from his suit poke into my dress and lightly scrape across my back but I am repulsive to say anything, I just bathe in the silence that calmly lingers between us.
It's been four days since the 'incident' at dinner which is two days since Harrisyn has even ventured beyond a door away from me. Not that I'm complaining. It's just I'm beginning to feel more useless by the minute- just laying on my silky bed as sleep-deprived maids sweep all around.
The enduring maids slowly begin to disperse, leaving the heavily decorated room looking discreetly bare.
The silence slowly gets uncomfortable as my itching urge to do something- anything- takes over. With an outward huff, I clamber from the draped sheets and unruffled my dress as I perch of the edge of the bed. Harrisyn sees to sense my irritation so he takes his hand away with a tense but light laugh, "Where are you off to?"
"The Music Room." I state, slipping on my simple flats that are exposed under the almost simple laced dress hanging to me. This dress has always been my favourite- the way it nips in at the waist but ends just under my knees. The way the white mattes in any light.
"I'll leave you to it then." I'm taken aback by how much protectiveness his tone has lost and a small smile pulls at the corners of my mouth. He catches my smile then delicately saunters from the bed to pull his mouth down to mine, our lips lightly brushing- sending rivulets of shivers down my spine, "I've sensed you becoming bored of me." He teases as he playfully pulls away- my body persistent for more. The feeling of his hands gliding up my bare arms to cup my face fills me with warmth.
"I could never be bored of you, Officer." I chuckle, tucking my face into the palm of his hand- taking in the distinct smell of metal from his usual sword-fighting lessons.
"I do hope you miss me while you're in the Music Room." The blonde eyebrows on his face wiggle in amusement as his tongue slides along his bottom lip.
"You will always be permanent in my mind." I sigh, slowly walking away, lifting my chin from his hand, leaving it cold. By the time I get to the door the itching at my chest has faded and Harrisyn stands pleased in the graciously decorated room. I give him a tiny wave with the tips of my fingers and haul the door closed behind me.
The way my fingers glide over the keys of the dust gathered piano fills a hollow whole in my chest. I sigh happily as a delicate combination of sounds blend into the lullaby my mother would always sing. The intensity of the blinding sun that beams from the window shadows half of the profligate instruments branded across the shining floor.
I allow my voice to echo off the high rise walls that glint with gold. I feel myself fall into the whirlpool of memories of my mom and sister's voices booming across our old home, I remember the crises around my dad's eyes as we'd have one of our long conversations and a tug at my heart stings the back of my eyes.
The snapping of hands from the doorway snaps my attention away from my past. My fingers splurge across the keys as I whip my head around to see Nic leaning against the door frame in a grand waterfall dress. "Nic?" I say in half surprise and in half question.
"That was wonderful Mer!" She squeals, not noticing how she's just interrupted a wonderful moment, gliding into the bench next to me, "You're going to kill it at Amberley's birthday!" The words kill it are hesitant on her tongue as she tries them out, "Not actually kill but you know what I mean." She rambles, laughing into her hands.
"I know Nic." I half-heartedly laugh.
"Are you ready to go tomorrow?" She asks, her glossy lips pursing into a line.
"Yeah," I mumble, not completely convinced.
"You do realise I don't believe you," Nic pointedly stares at me, grasping my hand, "Last week should have shown you that if you don't want to do it you shouldn't."
"I know," I huff, "I want to do it but it's- it's just seeing him again." I glance down at our clasped hands, her laced glove against my bare skin.
"But Mer, you get to see him crumble at the sight of you." She clowns, winking jokily at me.
"Crumble." I murmur back, my heart easing slightly.
