Spider-Deku

Chapter 7: Bathroom surprise

Slayer76: I AM HERE to add some excitement to your life.

Izuku: You're stealing catchphrases now?

Slayer76: Borrowing

Izuku: Whatever, just read your stupid disclaimer.

Disclaimer: I don't own Spider-Man or My Hero Academia. I lost the xiolin showdown and now I'm down to only the Orb of Torpedo and my left sock.

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After waking up in the Nurse's office, Izuku returned to class and received praise from his classmates. And he immediately turns shy, "It was nothing really."

"Nothing? You almost soloed Momo and went blow for blow with Bakugo." Kirishima says.

"He still lost and got his clothes blown to pieces." Toru states.

Fumikage shudders in the background.

"That green thing was cool, he was funny too." Ochaco says after pushing her way through the slowly growing crowd.

The mask comes back.

[Thank you, dad doesn't appreciate my humor.] Salvation says.

The mask leaves.

Izuku's eyes widen, "Fuck, Fuck, Fuck" he thinks.

"why is he calling you dad?" Kyoka asks while pushing her way through the crowd.

"That's pretty weird" Tsuyu says bluntly. Izuku flinched as soon as she hopped into the circle.

"He calls me dad because part of his DNA comes from me, just like a father-son relationship." Izuku sighs, realizing his slip up, and already knowing the follow-up question. He was hoping to tell her this in private, but keeping it a secret from the rest of the class isn't an option anymore. The last thing Izuku wants is for people to start forming their own theories about who Salvation's mommy is.

"Who's the mom?" Kyoka asks.

"You" Izuku says weakly.

This one word instantly silences the entire class. Aizawa sensei stops snoring in his sleep, as if even he knows that shit just went down.

"How am I the Mother!?" Kyoka shouts, Izuku can't tell if the redness on her face is from anger or embarrassment.

"When you slammed your earphone jack into my head, you pulled out a piece of Salvation's brain and it got embedded within the jack. When Salvation recalled the pieces of himself that I vomited out, his brain piece drew blood and dragged it to the rest of the symbiote. This caused salvation to begin undergoing a mutation. Once your DNA was assimilated, Salvation decided that we were his parents now." Izuku answers.

"Does that mean you're carrying my baby?" Kyoka smirks. Izuku looks at her face and she mouths "we aren't done with this" to him.

This sends Kaminari, Kirishima, and Mina into a giggle fit.

"UP YOURS, PICHU" Izuku shouts

"The itsy bitsy spider can bite" Kirishima jokes.

"Anybody who makes another spider joke will be on the receiving end of my venom." Izuku spits a clear, colorless liquid at the floor to prove his threat is legitimate. This liquid is way too thick to be regular spit.

"You can hear the venom in his voice" Mina whispers to Toru, the invisible girl.

"Since when could you do that?" Kyoka asks, he never told her about that ability.

"I could always do it, my powers are spider-based. The venom sacks are stored in my throat, and I can either spray it or use it to coat my teeth.. That's why I have the option to inject. But biting people to inject the venom is gross; I always end up with a bad taste in my mouth that can't be fixed with toothpaste and mouthwash, I find that spitting venom is much better and safer. The venom loses most of its punch after coming into prolonged contact with the chemicals in the polluted city air." Izuku explains after wiping the excess venom dripping down his chin on to his sleeves.

"Ok, but that doesn't explain why you have no genitals" Mezo Shoji says.

The mask comes back.

[Oh oh, I can answer that!] Salvation silently begs Izuku to let him explain this one.

"Fine" Izuku replies.

[Due to my home within dad's body, I'm allowed to do all sorts of things to his body. So, one day I asked my dad a question "Why do men have a giant weak spot between their legs like they're a videogame boss monster?" Izuku's only idea was that it was to even up the playing field and prevent them from being completely unstoppable at some point in the future. I said fuck that and rearranged Izuku's lower body to give me the power to retract his genitalia whenever the situation is dangerous.] Salvation explains.

"That's overpowered," Hanta Sero whines "You're immune to dick punches."

Eijiro Kirishima looks away and starts whistling. "That's almost as manly as my technique." He thinks to himself.

"Anyways, your powers are so cool. You were all like 'Thwip! Thwip!' and Bakugo was all like 'Boom kaboom'" Toru interrupts, eager to change the topic.

"Where is Bakugo anyway? I haven't seen him at all since I left Recovery Girl" Izuku asks.

"He's been in the gym training ever since class ended" Kaminari answers after a moment of silence.

The only reply that Izuku can think of is "good."

This signals the end of the conversation and the class becomes empty.

Izuku, Ochaco and Kyoka reach the gate and the girls prepare to return to their previous positions on Izuku's body. "I'm telling you this right now, I'm almost out of web fluid and my spinnerets are starting to burn. So, if blood starts leaking out of my wrist at some point or the webbing falls short of the next building, don't panic." Izuku warms, the last thing he wants is to hear them screaming into his ear. Sure, it won't hurt him, but who likes being screamed at?

And just like Izuku said, blood began leaking from his wrist halfway to Ochaco's house. Ochaco gets home and Izuku begins swinging to Kyoka's house. His web barely misses a building once they reach Kyoka's block. "What do we do?" Kyoka asks as they get closer to the black pavement.

"We could just land, falling 5 stories wouldn't do any damage to me." Izuku suggests. "But what about me? my body probably couldn't handle the force created by impacting the ground" Kyoka says.

"Oh yeah"

[I got this, I got this] Salvation sighs as he shoots green and purple tendrils out of Izuku's arms and attaches them to a building.

"Thanks Salvation" Kyoka says as they land in front of her house. The driveway is empty, so Izuku sighs in relief. Her parents aren't home.

[You're welcome] Salvation says, but the mask hadn't formed.

"She can't hear you"

"Yes I can"

"Wait, WHAT!?" Izuku screams.

"It's muffled, but I can definitely hear him."

"How?"

"My best guess is that my hearing is so good that I can hear him inside of your body, these earphone jacks are for more than attacking." Kyoka explains.

This makes sense to Izuku. Sound is created by a bunch of vibrations traveling through the air, earth and water. Anyone with super hearing could feasibly hear Salvation. Especially since Salvation is legitimately speaking ( Therefore causing vibrations), not doing some weird type of psychic communication. What makes this even more sensible to Izuku is what happened on the first day. The class was full of loud, rambunctious teens, yet Kyoka still heard him lightly tap the window. From the opposite wall!

"Bye Kyoka!" Izuku exclaims as his spider sense goes crazy. He hops on to a building's wall and runs away. The reason for this is made evident when a purple car pulls up in the driveway moments later. The car door opens and Kyoka is hit by a wave of music.

"Hey dad, how was work?" Kyoka asks.

"It was great, I'm being paid to work on a videogame's soundtrack." Her dad says with a grin that could light a dark abyss.

(The next day)

"What's going on?" Izuku asks as he turns a corner and sees all of his classmates filling the corridor that contains the girls' locker room and nothing else.

Katsuki answers the question first "Kyoka heard a bunch of heavy breathing coming from their locker room."

"My pervert senses are tingling, let's go Katsuki." Izuku gets a dangerous glint in his eyes and he grabs Katsuki before wall crawling up to the front. They may have hated each other for most of middle school, but one thing made them allies more often than sworn enemies. Their deep hatred for perverts. It all started when they were kids, a grown man had 'accidentally' brushed his hand against Inko's butt several times and pinched it twice. This led to Inko becoming upset and the boys to pure rage. In the span of 3 minutes, the man had a black eye and a badly damaged crotch. Throughout middle school they would rehabilitate any pervert that got too horny for their own good.

"I'm not going in there" Toru whimpers, the sound had devolved into animalistic snarls.

"Me neither" All of the other girls said.

"We got this," Katsuki growls "Momo, once we go in barricade the floor behind us…. Please."

"You plan to enter the girls locker room, that's against the rules." Tenya gasps, hands chopping air.

"Screw the rules, that creature is making them uncomfortable about going into the one place nobody should fear, I'm going to fix that" Izuku snarls, green electricity starts to spark across his knuckles.

"Uhh, go get it tiger" Kyoka says, slowly backing away from the door so that Mono can quickly block it off.

"Yeah, you got this" Mina claims after seeing the bloodlust and rage in their eyes.

Izuku leads the charge, Katsuki following behind screaming "Die fucker!" Momo shuts the door behind them immediately.

50 seconds of no sound passed by eerily. Class 1A waited, the air becoming thick with tension.

Then they heard a shrill scream, followed by a roar of primal fury from Katsuki and a yell from Izuku. The sounds of metals clanging, wood cracking and glass shattering began to ravage the lockers, along with several thundering explosions courtesy of one pissed off Katsuki.

"DIE! DIE! DIE!"

"PUT DOWN THE BRAS RIGHT NOW!"

"NEVER, THEY'RE MY SPOILS OF WAR"

"YOUR HANDS ARE ABOUT TO BECOME A SPOIL OF WAR"

"YOUR URN WILL BE MY SPOIL OF WAR!"

"YOU'RE GONNA KILL ME!"

"THAT'S THE FUCKING POINT"

"HEY, BRO CODE VIOLATION!"

"SCREW THE BRO CODE, YOU BROKE THE 'DECENT HUMAN BEING' CODE."

A horrifying scream decimated the ears of Class 1A, petrifying them with the agony the beast had to experience.

Izuku roars as he throws the pervert through the locker room door. The hinges practically exploding from the force. Eijiro barely has time to duck under the door.

The perpetrator was Mineta. His twitching and burnt form on display for all to see. Both of his hands stuck together on his pants by electric webs. His face is bruised and bloody, 2 purple balls missing from his head, overall he looked almost dead.

Katsuki walks through the entrance with a satisfied grin on his face.

Aizawa walks into the hallway to investigate the noise, sees what happened and promptly turns around to go find Recovery Girl. He knows better than to get in the way of divine retribution.

"Come on, the bell didn't even ring yet" Aizawa sighs.

Exchanging anxious looks, the other girls ran inside while Momo stopped the rest of the boys from entering the lockers.

"Deku!" Ochaco called through the smoke. Christ, the place looked like a nuclear war zone. "Where are you?"

"I'm here…" His voice sounded weak and shaky.

When the girls finally found him, he was curled up in a ball, his eyes shut tight and hands firmly gripping his ears.

"What's wrong?" Ochaco asks.

Izuku points to the floor and they see the ground covered in bras and panties. "My spider sense has been blaring ever since I stepped into this room."

"Oh," Kyoka says as she begins clearing the clothing off the floor. She doubts any of the girls will want to wear them again. Especially since some of the clothing articles were sitting in a pool of Izuku's venom. At least, she hoped that was venom. "You can open your eyes now."

The first thing Izuku sees is the amused grin on Kyoka's face.

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Slayer76: That's about it. I have nothing to say, no witty jokes, no Omakes.

Izuku: About time.