For all those people who were worried, my story is not about sexual assault of any kind. I had hoped to hold the suspense so my audience is as ignorant as Christian will be but after several concerned reviews I decided to end the ambiguity.
"Taylor what did she say," I asked desperately at Taylors return.
"Mr Grey, there is a lot of things to discuss but first things, Ana and your daughter are alive and as well as can be expected."
"They're alive your sure, Ana's alive and our baby daughter." I sobbed openly as Taylor tried to support me.
"Where are they," I asked once I was able to articulate again.
"I'm afraid we don't know at this time, but I believe strongly that with Ms Gilmore's help we will find another lead and soon."
"You don't know," I shuddered as he spoke. "You don't know, then how can you even assure me of their safety."
"They were both alive and well the last time Ms Gilmore was with them and there is nothing to say that they still aren't. Have hope that they are still alive and I promise you we will find them."
"How, how will we find them? It's been three damn years and we've found nothing. Oh God what am I going to tell Teddy, he's waited for her and grieved for her. He's all but forgotten her and now that we are this close we hit a dead end."
I crumble at my own words and slowly sink to the ground, I can't stop thinking about my son and our loss. I know Taylor wants me to remain hopeful but I can't it's all drained away from me.
Up until this moment I had hoped that Ana had simply left me but now I know the truth it's terrifying. She was taken from me my force and made to live through unknown horrors. I may never find her and if my some miracle I do what will I find.
I can feel Taylor knelt down beside me gently patting my back, but I can't look up at him. I can't force myself to give him anything in fact at this moment in time I blame him completely. He should have done a better job at keeping Ana safe, he should have tried harder to find her. Hell I would fire him on the spot if I didn't need him so much.
We stay sitting on the floor for ages and eventually Taylor is able to tell me Ms Gilmores story in it's entirety. I listen but I don't interrupt, I let the words sink in and develop. I'm speechless by the end and Taylor is almost hoarse from talking for so long.
The sun is just rising as Taylor pulls himself onto his feet, he stumbles towards the liquor cabinet and pours water into two brandy glasses. I watch him take a sip then slowly walk back towards me.
With great effort I rise and take the other glass he offers me, my legs don't feel like my own as I stagger around.
"What's going to happen now," I ask suddenly causing Taylor to jerk up in surprise.
"We look into her story, we find the location Ana was being held. We ask questions and we keep moving forward Sir."
I nod my head then start to plan what we do next. We need to leave soon and find where Ana was being held. We need to bring Ms Gilmore with us and I need to find someone to watch my son.
Seven hours later we are about to land in Arkansas, Taylor, Ryan, Welch and Ms Gilmore are with me on board. Sawyer and Reynolds remained in Seattle to watch over the rest of my family.
Ray and Gail are looking after Teddy in my absence with my parents available for back up just in case. I packed a suitcase as soon as I was able and left Teddy on the promise that I would be back soon.
As far as anyone back home know I am on a business trip, I just couldn't tell anyone the truth. I know our outlook is bleak and I'm not willing to raise false hope.
Once we land we set off on a six hour car ride in a large black SVU. We're heading for the township where Ms Gilmore first encountered the police, hoping to talk with them and find the house Ana was held captive in.
Hours later after a fruitless discussion with the local police Ms Gilmore leads us to an abandoned house on the outskirts of town.
I gaze at the building in stunned silence, this is where my Ana was all this time. The place where my baby daughter was born, it's windows boarded up and the screen door hanging from its hinges.
I jump when I hear Taylor kick open the door, he looks inside cautiously then slowly steps inside with Ryan. After a few seconds they both return and tell us the place is secure, then Ms Gilmore and I silently join them leaving Welch outside.
Inside it's dark and dank, the paper is peeling off the walls and the furniture is sparse and threadbare. While Taylor and Ryan search for clues I follow Ms Gilmore towards the basement. Slowly we walk together down the staircase then gasp at our surroundings. It's strangely more inviting here than the rest of the house, brighter somehow and the walls are literally covered with pictures.
Crayon scribbles of varying colours and watercolours painted by a more accomplished artist. I walk over to one of the pictures and trace my finger across the scribbles. "Olivia," I utter reverently as I finally see evidence of my baby girl.
"Yes, all the crayon sketches are sweet Olivia's. She loved to draw pictures for us and Ana would pin up everyone with pride." said Ms Gilmore happily.
"Are the watercolours your work," I inquire softly not wanting to break the peace of this strange place.
"No, I don't have a creative bone in my body, they're all Ana's work," she answers. I pause to look closer at the watercolours, amazed by the detail and skill behind them. All these years and I didn't even know my Ana could paint and here is the evidence that she can. I wouldn't believe it were true if the man in so many of the paintings didn't resemble me so perfectly.
I touch Ana's artwork as reverently as I touched my daughters, amazed that she was once here too. Carefully I unpin all the pictures and neatly stack them in a pile as Ms Gilmore looks on. Soon she starts to help me telling roughly when each one was created. Finally she points to one in the corner, "Ana was painting that one just before I left," she explains. I walk over and start to remove it, then notice something written on the backside.
A surge of excitement runs though me at my discovery and read what written in my Ana's neat handwriting.
Jane
I hope you are safe, I hope I see you again but mostly I hope you are free.
I miss you so much Jane, Olivia asks about you everyday. I tell her you had to go away and she asks why you didn't take us with you. I said you couldn't because Stephen wouldn't let you and she cried. I'm holding her in my arms right now and she's fast asleep and dreaming about you I hope.
If you are able can you find my husband and tell him how much I love him. Tell him I think about him everyday and dream about him every night. I tell Olivia about him constantly and I know she can't wait to meet him, when this life is over.
Tell Christian to look after Teddy for me and to tell him that I never wanted to leave him, not ever.
Please survive this Jane, for me and for Livie.
All my love
Ana.
I stare at the words on the page until they blur into nothing. Oh God why does this sound like Ana is saying goodbye. Did she loose hope too when Jane left, did she know something bad was about to happen. Oh Ana please don't give up yet, not when we're so close to finding you.
