A/N: Hi, guys! Chapter seven, here we go! This is kind of exciting, actually. We're now over 10,000 words. That surprises the crap out of me, seriously. I didn't know I'd get this far. It's been kind of a feeling-around-in-the-dark sort of thing for me. Everyone who reviewed during this whole thing is basically awesome.
Oh, yeah, and I don't own anything. LAWYERS STAY AWAY!!
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"Lloyd earned the title of Mr. Oblivious!"
Chapter seven: stick to the script
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"I think we're making progress. You only turned pink this time, instead of as red as Lloyd's clothes."
"I'm tired," Zelos whined. "I want to sleep."
"Just stick to the script and you'll be fine," Genis said. "And talk loud enough for him to hear you. And don't blush. And don't stutter."
Zelos groaned. "I'll just pretend to be sick."
"Honestly, what is so difficult about this? You flirt all the time. You should be used to this kind of thing."
"That's different."
"How?"
"Well, for one, they're women. For another, they're not entirely oblivious. Not to mention—"
"Concentrate on breathing," Genis said.
"I forget how to breathe when I even think about saying it."
"That's not going to help."
"I'll just go and catch a quick cold."
"You can't put it off forever. Try it again."
Zelos glowered, but looked at the script Genis had written up and muttered, "Wow. It is so beautiful."
"Say it like you mean it."
"I'm working on memorization. Besides, you don't know that Lloyd will say—"
"I've known him longer than you have."
Zelos crossed his arms and muttered something about killing brats.
Genis read Lloyd's line. "Huh?"
"What?"
"That's Lloyd's line."
"Oh."
"Aaaaaaaaaaaaaand…then you say your next line…"
"I meant your mumble mumble mumble."
"Louder!"
"I meant your…" Zelos flushed, then muttered something inaudible.
"Don't blush!" Genis snapped. "Say it louder! He has to hear it, you know."
Zelos heaved a sigh. "Do I really have to do this?"
"Say it."
"I meant your f-f-f-f-f…gahhh, I can't do it!"
"Zelos." Genis sighed again. "Repeat after me. Faaaaaaaaaaaaace."
"Faaaaaaaaace."
"Now say the whole line."
"I meant your faaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaace."
"Now you just sound like an idiot."
"This was your idea!"
"You were the one who was leering at him!"
"I didn't mean to!"
"You still did!"
"Whatever!"
"Just say the line."
"I meant your face!" Zelos snapped. "There! Happy?"
"Good," Genis said, satisfied. "And then when he looks at you surprised and says 'huh?' you kiss the living crap out of him."
"Okay, okay. Can I go to sleep now?"
"Do it one more time."
"Noooo! I need my beauty sleep."
"You do not. You need practice."
"Vision…going…fuzzy…"
"Oh, stop being so melodramatic. Go through it one more time."
"That's what you said five hours ago…"
"Do it again."
Zelos groaned loudly.
"This shouldn't be difficult for you, you know. You're a good enough actor. You had us all fooled at the Tower of Salvation."
"That was different. I actually have to mean what I'm saying here."
"Just practice again."
Zelos sighed.
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"I'm going to die."
"You're not going to die."
"I think I'm going to throw up."
"That wouldn't make a very good impression on Lloyd."
"I'm going to die."
Genis rolled his eyes. "Just stick to the script and you'll be fine."
"I can't remember it."
"Did you write it on your hand?"
"Yeah…"
"Then look at that."
"I'm wearing gloves."
"Take your gloves off."
"I'll freeze."
"That's why your gloves shouldn't double as sleeves."
"Helpful, brat."
"You'll be fine. Just go and do it. The more time you spend agonizing over it, the more of a wreck you'll be."
"Okay. I'm going."
"Okay."
Zelos stood motionless.
"You said you were going?"
"I can't remember how to walk, talk, or breathe."
"GO!" Genis yelled.
"I'm going, I'm going!"
"Good luck."
Zelos grunted.
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Lloyd didn't even look up as Zelos approached.
"Hey."
"The snow is nice," Zelos said. "I mean, it's cute. I mean, you're cute! No! That's not right!"
Genis groaned and covered his face with his hands, just out of sight. (Yes, he was spying.) "Where did I go wrong?" he muttered.
"Huh? Oh, hi, Zelos." Lloyd looked up then. "How long have you been here?"
"Hi."
Lloyd turned his attention back to the snow silently.
Let's try this again, Zelos decided. "It's—"
"It's nice out," Lloyd said. He glanced up. "Sorry. Were you saying something?"
Just basically exactly what you were saying. "Uhh…nope. By the way, have you noticed how cute…I mean adorable…I mean handsome…I mean beautiful it is out?"
"Well, I did just say that. Kind of."
Stick to the script, he says. Stick to the script. He should be telling that to Lloyd, not me. "Uhhh…yeah! Your faaaaaaaaaaaaaace."
Lloyd gave him a strange look. "What?"
"Never mind," Zelos muttered. "Just…never mind."
"Ooookay…"
This was not going well. Zelos reminded himself to blame this on the brat later. Maybe he'd punctuate some of his points with his dagger.
"So, what made you fall for Genis?"
"That's…" Zelos groaned again and put his head on his arm. "…you're going off-script, Bud."
"Huh?"
Okay. Improvising time. I can do this. Raising his head, Zelos said poetically, "Violets are red, and the snow is blue. I am so very glad I did not have to betray you."
"I am, too, but… violets aren't red. And snow's white."
"Hey! Are you contradicting the words of the Great Zelos?"
"Maybe I am."
"Hmph." That hadn't worked out too well. Maybe he'd have to be more blunt about it. "So, uh, guess what?"
"What?" Lloyd's voice was wary.
"I'm, uh…gay."
"I would have guessed that. Unless…" Lloyd's eyes widened. "Genis is a girl?"
"What? No! I mean, I don't think so…"
"Wow, that's really surprising. I've known him all this time too…I guess I should say her, huh?"
"Uh…"
"That's kind of embarrassing. I wish she'd said something. Wait, so that means…you're not in love with him? I mean, her?"
"Well…hmm." This was getting way out of hand. He could just throw himself at Lloyd, but strangely enough, his legs seemed to be failing him. "Uhh….I'm not in love with the brat…but he really is a guy."
"You could have just said so."
"This is boring," Genis whispered to Yuan (who had just randomly shown up.)
"Isn't that Lloyd's line?"
"Well, yeah, usually. But they're not doing anything."
"And what do you want me to do about that?"
"I don't know! Just…mix things up a little, okay? Besides, this is for their own good. Probably."
Yuan sighed. "Fine, whatever. I can probably find something…" He proceeded to search inside his cape, pulling out a variety of objects (which included a cannonball, a teddy bear, a recipe for brownies, several notebooks, and a rock. A boulder, really.)
"What's this?" Genis asked curiously, picking up one of the notebooks.
"Uh! Don't touch that!"
"Why not?"
"Let me put it this way…remember the Kratos fanart?"
Genis made a disgusted sound. "How can I forget it?"
Yuan was staring off into the distance, drooling a little.
"Yuan," Genis prodded. "Hey! Fireball!"
This brought Yuan out of his daze. Unfortunately, it also set the bush they were sitting in on fire.
"Huh?" Yuan said. "What?"
"You were sort of staring off into space."
"Oh. Right. Anyways, the point is, that's basically what's in the notebooks…except, in the notebooks, it's written word."
Genis gagged. "That's disgusting. You need a hobby."
"This is my hobby."
"Ugh."
"Hey does it feel kind of warm in here?"
"Now that you mention it…" Genis looked up, and his eyes bulged from his head. "Fire!"
"What?" Yuan glanced up as well. "Ahhh! When did that happen?"
"Probably when I cast Fire Ball. Run!"
"But…my Kratos notebooks!" Yuan stuffed them in his cape again, along with the teddy bear and whatever else had been in his cape. He gave the boulder one last adoring look, then threw it in Lloyd's general direction. He ran out of the bush.
"I think that might help," he said to Genis, who was staring at his back for some reason. He watched as the boulder smacked into the back of Lloyd's boots and sent the swordsman flying into Zelos's chest, sending them both stumbling.
"Oooh, it worked," Yuan said. "Looks like they're kissing." He glanced back at Genis. "Why are you staring at my back?"
"Your cape is on fire."
"Aaaaah! Nooo! My cape!" Panicking, Yuan ran around in circles.
"Stop, drop, and roll, Yuan!" Genis yelled. "Stop, drop, and roll!"
He honestly…probably…maybe…would have helped the half elf out more, except for the fact that he noticed the binoculars that had rolled out of the cape. He wasted no time in grabbing them and spying on the two swordsmen with them, ignoring the cries of 'ahh, ahh, my cape!'
Lloyd was turning red and muttering, "Sorry, I really didn't mean to do that…really…honest…"
"Uhhhhh…"
No, no, no, you idiot, don't have a brain fart now, it's your chance! Genis thought, wishing he knew more about telepathy. You're…in…the…perfect…position!
Zelos sagged suddenly, left wrist flying to his forehead dramatically. "Oh no!" he cried. "The cold is making me ill! Only a kiss from you, my prince, can save me!"
In his surprise, Lloyd almost dropped Zelos. "Are you sure you're feeling okay?"
"No! No, I'm not! That's why you need to kiss me! Weren't you listening?"
"You're sounding better."
"Oh, but I'm not. Really, I'm not. In fact, I may be dying. Cough, cough."
That was pathetic. We really should have thought this through better, Genis thought, groaning.
"Uh huh," Lloyd said dubiously. "Well, I'm sure you'll be fine." He dropped Zelos and walked away. "I have to go. I—"
"Hang on. Hang on just a minute. I think I can actually do this without throwing up right now, okay?" Zelos stood slowly. "You're listening, right? I think I'd actually die if I had to repeat myself."
Lloyd sighed. "Can you make it fast?"
"Well, I can try." Zelos took a deep breath. And then another. And then another. And then—
"I mean it, Zelos. Make it quick."
"I'm in looooooooooooooove with potatoes. No! No! That's not what I meant to say! Dammit! Why can't I do this?!"
"Do what?" Lloyd asked obliviously.
"I mean, I really, really, really like yyyyyams. No!" Zelos smacked his head against the railing. "This isn't working out!"
"Okay. But I really have to—"
"I'M IN LOVE WITH YOU, DAMMIT!"
There was a silence. Lloyd stared at him. "Huh?"
"Urrgh," Zelos groaned, throwing up. "I…did it…"
With that, he fainted and fell over the railing into some bushes. Lloyd stared at where Zelos had been, looking confused and lost.
"Zelos!" Genis shouted, running over. "Are you still alive?"
"Hey…Genis…where did you come from?" Lloyd asked.
"Zelos?" Genis called.
Lloyd looked dazed. "Did…he just really say…"
"Put it out! Put it out!" Yuan screamed, continuing to panic. He was ignored.
"Yep," Genis said. "Although, you could have made it a little easier for him."
"Huh? I'm so confused."
"That's because you're an idiot, you're stupid, and you're oblivious," Genis said cheerfully.
"Hey, shut up! Where'd Zelos go, anyways?"
Genis pointed to where Zelos had fallen. "We should go get him and make sure he doesn't die."
"Oh…yeah…"
As they went down to retrieve Zelos, there was a sudden burst of music.
Lloyd had received the title of Mr. Oblivious.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------A/N: Longest chapter yet! Woohoo! There's probably just going to be one or two chapters left…wow. Anyways, you guys know the drill…I love reviews! Ahahahaha!
*ahem* Excuse me. Sudden burst of insanity.
