War

Chapter 7: Little Book

It was a small book. Probably meant for a child to use. It was extremely tattered and dusty... I guess whose ever book this was must have forgotten it was there. It didn't seem like mine. I guess I knew someone named... America? They hadn't come to see me... so I'm not sure who it was. I looked through the old, tattered pages. "This was definitely written by a child..." I thought. The hand writing was horrible. There were so many mistakes in the sentences, it was hard to read. I managed though.

"October 31st, 1612: Today is holloween! England is throwing a party, and even France is invited! I was so surprised... England never ever lets France over. And he never thorws partys. And... even if he did noone would come. Everyone thinks Englands cooking is bad. The only reason anyone comes over is to see me. I feel bad for England... Hes so nice but no one ever gives him a chance. England says that I can dress up as anything I want to be. He says hes gonna be a vampier. Hes gonna look super cool! End of note."

"Jeez... this is horrible..." I said. Arthur looked over, a bit confused. "Huh? What are you talking about, Alfred?" He said. "This... America's journal. It's so confusing..." I replied. He looked away, a bit sad. "You know him?" I asked. He quickly looked up at me, and he shook his head. "N-No! Of course not, stupid. Why would I know someone named America?" I said, laughing awkwardly. He was hiding something. Definitely. I shrugged and kept reading. After a moment, I started to only skim. "All this guy wants to talk about is that England guy.." I thought.

"September 15th, 1723- Arthur hasn't really been paying attention to me lately. He keeps making me pay him when ever he gives me stuff, and it's pissing me off. He's paying so much attention to that France guy... I'm so jealous. I wish Arthur would care about me like he does France... I bet I love Arthur 10 times more than that jerk! Its just not fair... Arthur only sees me as his little brother. Just as a kid.. But I'm not a kid anymore... I'm an adult now. I wish he'd see that... and I wish he'd see that my feelings for him aren't of a brother. End of note"

I sighed, looking at the page. "Arthur? Could that be Arthur Kirkland?" I thought, skipping a few pages.

"December 16th, 1773- I got mad at Arthur today. He looked really upset. He tried to give me some tea, and I was happy. But he told me I had to pay him, I got mad and slapped the tea away. I broke the cup. That cup was a special cup... it was the one Arthur gave me. He looked very hurt... I think I want to become my own country. If I was my own country, I could tell him I loved him. He'd be forced to see that I wasn't a child. I wouldn't be his brother anymore... And I could tell him my feelings. I hope he'll just let me go.. I'd hate to go at war with him."

I frowned at the page. This seemed... familiar. "Hey Arthur... you say you don't know him but he seems to really love you..." I said, glancing over at him. I saw him hide his blush.

"W-what are you talking about? That idiot hated me!" He yelled. "Nuh uh... He keeps saying he loves you." I replied. How could he think that? "Show me!" He said, walking over to me. I handed him the journal and I watched him as he read. You know... Arthur doesn't seem like the type to show his true emotions to anyone. I don't know if that's how he really is but...He just seems like.. He'd never cry unless something really bad happened. I guess I was wrong.

He quickly snapped the book shut and he threw it to the other side of the room. "Don't read anymore of that, Alfred. Don't worry about it. It means nothing. You should get some rest. your leg is still broken.." He said, forcing me to lie back onto my bed. "Sleep. I'll be out in the living room. If you need me, just shout. I'll come." He said, turning away. "Arthur.." I said. He turned and looked at me. "What is it Alfred?" He asked in an annoyed tone. I reached up and wiped his face. "Don't cry anymore, okay?" I said, sighing. He glared at me, blushing. I was so tempted to laugh. He looked cute. "Shut up, I won't. How could I sit and cry when i have an idiot like you to worry about." He said, smirking. He turned away and left me alone in my room. I stared at my ceiling, boredly. I didn't really want to sleep. I wasn't tried. My mind started to wander to that book. Who was that America guy anyways? Did I know him? I couldn't remember.

"Damn memory." I huffed. "If only I could remember..". I slowly stood up, careful of my leg. It still hurt, but I wanted to know. I'm glad Arthur cleaned my room. It made it so much easier to get to the book. And since it was the only thing on the floor, it was easy to see. I picked it up and looked through the pages again.

"April 18th 1775- I started war with Arthur today. I really didn't want it to come to this, but there's no other way to get my feelings across to him. If I win this war, then I'll be my own country and then I can... I can tell him. If he rejects me, then fine. So be it. But I want a chance to tell him... To know that he knows how I feel. I'll do my best to win. Even if he hates me afterwards... it'll be okay."

I felt a little bad for this guy. He wanted to be with Arthur so bad... I wonder if they ever got together. Did he die? Is he away? I went on.

"1777- France decided to help me win against Arthur. I was really losing... That guy is an ass but he sure saved me. Arthur is really bitter about me starting this war... I feel kinda bad. Arthur was always so kind.. and yet I turned on him. I don't deserve to say that I love him. So I've decided that I'm going to give up on my love and forget all about my feelings for Arthur. I'll win this war, and go on living as the man he see's me. A traitor.".

"Oh.." I mumbled. I looked away from the book to the door. I could slightly see a small englishman sitting on my couch, drinking tea and reading. "He must have been in so much pain..." I said. I was tempted to put down the book, but I kept reading. For a while, there were nothing but battle plans and stupid little notes about France or Arthur. Then, it came to the last note.

"September 3rd, 1783- I saw Arthur cry for the first time ever today. I've been with Arthur for a long time... and this is was the first time he's ever cried. The war finally ended, and I won. At first he refused to give up. he tried one last time to fight me before falling onto the ground and crying. When he attacked, his face was full of regret and disappointment. And so much pain... SO much pain, it was unbearable to look at."

I paused for a moment. That sounded so familiar... Why though? This guy was named America... so its not like these were my memories... I continued on.

"From today on, I am my own country. I am... free. I finally have that freedom I have longed for, for years! I no longer have someone to judge me, to scold me, to do anything! I am.. free! It's a good feeling. I've actually already chosen a human name!"

I paused again. "Human name? He wasn't already human? Don't tell me this is the actual country of America..." I thought. I continued. I stared at the last part in shock. It made me feel sick, sad, and relived at the same time. "It'll be Alfred Jones". "What?" I shouted. "My name?".