AN: Just…that episode. I think "guaranteed life for Paige and Ralph" might officially be the most romantic thing I've ever heard. As I was watching, I just thought, "wow, they really love each other," which is the sign of a good ship. The O'Brien-Dineen family saving the day is actually more than my heart can handle, and can Ralph be in everything, please? Watching him comfort his classmate just shows how far he's come. Lastly, in the words of the other school mom: "Damn, Paige."
Okay, onto the story: one more chapter left! Thank you again for the reviews and I will try to wrap this up ASAP for you guys!
Paige stared at herself in the mirror, combing stray hairs back into place and smoothing out her blue blouse. She thought it was better for Ralph not to be around for this, so she dropped her son off in the care of Sylvester and headed back to their apartment. The liaison expected to experience some doubt, some uncertainty about what she was planning to do, but all she felt was an immense sense of relief. Ralph had given her permission to accept what was already in her heart.
A knock came at the door, and Paige took a calming breath before spinning around and opening it. Drew flashed one of his signature charming smiles and walked past her into the living room. "Thanks for coming," she said calmly, shutting the door behind her.
"Of course," Drew answered, dropping himself onto the couch. "You've made a decision?"
Paige hesitated before taking a seat next to him, leaving a comfortable amount of space between them. "I did," she started as he watched her intently. "I've thought about this from every possible angle, and…I have to say no. I'm sorry. I just don't think it's the right decision for us."
Drew stared at her blankly before shaking his head. "I don't understand. When Ralph was born, you talked about us getting married all the time."
"Yes, and that was ten years ago," the liaison replied, hiding a hint of annoyance at his assumption. "When you proposed, you said that we could have the life that we should have had before you left."
"Paige, I thought—."
"This isn't about that," she interrupted, holding up her hand. "I don't resent you leaving. It was a long time ago. And that's the point. I think that by dating again, we've been trying to rewrite the past, get something back that we felt like we'd lost. And neither of us has been willing to accept that we're different people now, and we can never really go back."
Drew shrugged and leaned his weight on his forearms. "So we start fresh. I don't mind waiting," he said evenly. "Paige, this is our chance to finally be a family. Isn't that what you want for Ralph?"
She felt a pang of guilt as she thought about her son, but then she remembered his answer to her in the car, the resolved look on his face when he told her to follow her heart, his absolute certainty when he referred to Scorpion as his real family. She thought about Happy's assertion that being unhappy would damage her relationship with Ralph. Despite her best efforts, she also thought briefly about Walter, about him surprising Ralph with the party and the defeated look in his eyes when he pleaded with her not to marry Drew.
"I thought it was," Paige answered honestly, shifting her hands from her lap to her sides and back to her lap again. "You know, everything I've ever done was to make sure that Ralph was safe and happy. I was so focused on what he wanted—what he needed—that I lied to myself about what I really needed."
Drew reached out for her hand, but she pulled back. "Paige, you're not making any sense," he said with narrowed eyes.
"I'm saying…" She cleared her throat and met his eyes, feeling exhilarated as she was able to breathe freely for the first time in weeks, maybe months. "I'm saying that we can't stay together. I know it seems crazy, but I talked to Ralph and he understands. He just wants us both to be happy and part of his life—separately, if we have to. And I think…no, I know…that's what's best for everyone. We tried to make this work, but I think you and I both realize that it won't last long. Too much has happened."
There was a long stretch of silence as Drew stared at the ground, rubbing his hand over his jaw. Finally, he said, "Ralph is a special kid."
"Yeah, he is." A smile stretched across her face, and she felt her heart skip as she thought about the incredible ways that Ralph had changed under the guidance of the team, becoming the brilliant and kind kid she'd always hoped he could be. "He loves you, Drew. He wants you around. You offered to come live in L.A. full time, and I think that you still should. For Ralph."
Drew nodded slowly and sighed. "Maybe you're right." After another quiet moment, he placed his hand on her knee and smiled sadly. "I know I've messed up a lot, but I always loved both of you. I hope that you know that."
Paige bit her lip, realizing deep down that this was the way it was supposed be. It was always going to end this way, and she was finally ready to let go. Reaching behind her neck, she unclasped the necklace and slid the ring off its chain. "I know," she said, handing the diamond back to him. "Now it's your turn to show Ralph."
It was a few days before Paige could bring herself to return to the garage. Everything was changing, and she needed time to catch up. She was finally sleeping again, but there was still something weighing on her mind, even though she wasn't ready to acknowledge it just yet.
One step at a time.
Her breath hitched as she walked into the main level. Walter was sitting at his desk, eyes trained on the floor, hands gripping the arms of his chair. He was even more intensely deep in thought than she was used to seeing him, and Paige found that she was afraid to know what was going through his mind.
"Paige," he said breathlessly, bolting up as soon as he noticed her. "I tried to call you."
The liaison took another step into the garage and placed her purse on her desk. "I know," she answered, feeling another twinge of guilt. She pushed it aside. "I told you, I just needed some time."
"Are you…really back?" he asked hesitantly, his hands hanging uselessly at his sides as if he didn't know what to do with them. Paige had a few ideas, which she also forced herself to ignore.
"Yes." The genius's eyes brightened, and she suppressed a smile. Despite their argument, despite everything that had happened over the previous five months, despite how hard she'd worked to move forward, there was a part of her that missed him every second they were apart, and seemed to heal whenever they were together. "I'm really back."
Walter gulped and looked at her so deeply that she wasn't sure how to react. He took a step toward her and then held himself back, unsure of how much distance she would want between them. "I'm sorry, Paige," he said in a low voice, his hands trembling almost imperceptibly. "I didn't mean what I said. Nothing is more important to you than Ralph, and you've always made the best decisions for him. I know that."
The corner of her mouth turned up slightly. "Thank you."
"And, um…" Walter let out a shaky breath, struggling to find the correct words. "You were right. About me."
"No, Walter," she replied fervently, taking three rapid steps forward and placing her hand on his upper arm, surprising them both. His muscles stiffened under her fingers before gradually relaxing. "I didn't mean what I said either."
"No, you were right," he insisted, offering her a strained smile. "I was trying to go back to the person I was before all this. Before I met you and Ralph, back when I was…" the genius trailed off, his gaze traveling between his arm and her eyes, and Paige reluctantly dropped her hand so she wouldn't distract him. "I thought that it would be easier, but all I did was ruin everything that I cared about. And I hurt you, which is…not something I ever wanted to do. I'm sorry, Paige."
His voice was genuine, and he seemed to be holding his breath as he anticipated her response. They had both made mistakes, and she wondered how two people who cared about each other could get it wrong so many times. But even if they ended up fighting again in a few months, or a few weeks, or even a few hours, Paige realized that she would still forgive him. Their friendship…their partnership…was worth it. He was still—in spite of their baggage and pain and unique way of getting under each other's skin—worth all of it.
"No more interference," Walter added, growing increasingly nervous at her silence. "Your personal life is off limits. Whatever you decide with Drew, I know you'll…" His eyes dropped to her neck, and he frowned. "Where is it?"
Paige's hand instinctively found its way to the area where her necklace had been, and her face flushed as she remembered that the spot was empty. "I, um…" The liaison cleared her throat and replaced her arm at her side. "I said no, Walter."
Silence, and then, "Why?"
"Well, uh," she said with a dark laugh. "It turns out that you can't really fix the past. We all try, but…eventually we have to move on, and just do better in the future, I guess." Her eyes flicked up to his before she raised and dropped her shoulders. "I couldn't risk wasting my future, trying to go back."
Walter felt such a mixture of emotions that they were impossible to separate from one another, but he understood that he was happy—happier than he should have been—to hear that she wasn't marrying Drew, and relieved that she wasn't in pain. There were other things he felt as her eyes were locked on his, but it was too much to process then, too much to understand, so he patted her shoulder awkwardly and said, "I'm glad you're okay."
There was the briefest flash of disappointment on her face, and Walter wondered if he'd imagined it as she smiled weakly. "I will be."
"You ready?" Walter said as he swung around the doorframe, raising his eyebrow at Toby, who was fighting with the tab on a can of soda.
"Yeah, hold on." Toby scraped at the metal in a futile last effort before giving up and stabbing the can with a knife. "Is everyone gone?"
"Paige went home and the rest of the team is playing miniature golf," the genius said disdainfully, understanding the point even less than traditional golf. "We're clear."
"Excellent. Have a seat," Toby ordered, motioning to the bar stools around the kitchen island. He took a spot across from Walter and leaned his elbows on the table. "I overheard pieces of your conversation with Miss Dineen this morning. You're not breaking ceramics, so I assume it went well?"
"I don't—." Walter exhaled and reminded himself not to get defensive, even though the shrink didn't make it easy sometimes. "Yes. She said no to Drew."
"Oh?" Toby raised an eyebrow. "And how does that make you feel?"
The genius shifted uncomfortably in his seat and focused his attention on his calloused hands. "It doesn't matter. I agreed not to involve myself in her personal affairs."
"Walter," the psychologist said, clicking his tongue. "You asked me to help you, but I can't do that unless you're honest. You may have agreed to that, but is it really what you want?"
He swallowed hard and tapped his fingertips against the smooth countertop. "What I want…" Walter cleared his throat and started again. "What I need is to learn…to figure out…how to let it go."
Toby watched him curiously. "Let what go, Walt?"
"The past," he managed finally. "I've never been able to forgive myself for the lives that my software ended, and I've spent my entire life trying to fix it. I still want that, but…" Walter coughed and raised his eyes. "But if I ever want a future, then I need to…learn how to, um…move on."
Toby couldn't believe it. He'd waited years for Walter to say those words, to work toward forgiving himself, and he had a hunch that it took the genius finally finding something—a beautiful company liaison and her son, for instance—that he wasn't willing to lose. The shrink grinned. "Well, we better get started then."
