Chapter Seven

When they entered Vanessa's small but vintage apartment, Chuck glanced around himself quietly. After she had closed the door, she moved to stand beside him.

"The kitchen is through here," Vanessa broke the silence as he followed her gaze. "The bathroom's down the hall and the sofa's right there."

"Don't you get lonely?" he suddenly asked, turning to face her.

She stared at him uncomfortably for a moment before breaking the gaze.

"You hungry?" she asked. "There's some food in the fridge if you are."

"I asked if you get lonely," he repeated. "You live here by yourself?"

"Yeah," Vanessa said, shrugging sadly. "I guess you'd know about loneliness, right?"

Chuck turned away from her and moved towards the sofa, before sitting down with a loud sigh.

"My life's not so bad, you know?" he began as she sat across from him on an armchair. "I mean, I'm wealthier than everyone I know and I have the freedom to do whatever I want, when I want. Or I did, anyway."

With that, he shook his head and looked away.

"You know, it's not even taking the money away that hurt," he said as she frowned at him. "Shocking, right?"

"Quite," she replied in agreement.

"What hurt is that my father kicked me out of the family," he said and sighed once more. "Then again, I guess I should have seen it coming. I mean, we've never had any kind of relationship, just him believing the worst in me and me hating him in return."

"What your father did was wrong," she began as he looked up at her.

"You say that but you don't really know me," he stated. "He, on the other hand, has had a lifetime of experience. He makes some good points."

"Your mother died giving birth to you. That is in no way your fault," Vanessa said firmly.

Chuck remained silent for a long time as sadness appeared on his face once more.

"Why doesn't he get that?" he finally asked.

She was taken aback by his vulnerability and shifted in her seat.

"Why are you telling me all of this?" she asked as he shrugged softly.

"It's nice to have someone to talk to," he replied. "Even when that person hates you."

Vanessa's heart went out to him despite herself and she sat forward in her seat.

"I don't hate you," she expressed. "I mean, I think you're a manipulative liar but the truth is I don't know you well enough to judge you."

He looked up at her and she saw the sadness once more.

"I'm tired of being alone," he told her quietly. "All my life, I've been surrounded by people and I still feel alone. My father hates me, I never had a mother thanks to me being born, my own best friend is the first to believe the worst in me, Serena can't stand me and Blair…"

He looked away at the thought of Blair as Vanessa moved to sit beside him.

"You really love her, don't you?" she asked but he kept his face down.

"I screwed up with her, I know," he began. "We got back together at the wedding and then I freaked out. I thought she'd end up leaving me once she saw the real me so I left her instead. And then she came back with Marcus and it felt as if she'd ripped my heart out. And I know I shouldn't complain because I hurt her first, but she keeps throwing it in my face. All I've seen these past few weeks is her amazing love story with him and it makes me cringe every time I see them."

"I know what you mean," Vanessa said before she could stop herself.

"You mean Nate, don't you?" he asked as she smiled sadly and looked away. "He can be an idiot sometimes."

"I know he's with that woman because she's helping him financially, but it still hurts when I think about them together," she stated.

"The thing you need to understand about Nathaniel is that he makes stupid decisions. Even though he can be a complete idiot at times, he's got a good heart," he explained.

"Why are you defending him?" she asked suddenly. "You just said that he's the first to believe the worst in you and that he hasn't been there for you so why are you defending him?"

"The guy's like a brother to me. And I did screw up last year behind his back with Blair," he said with a slight shrug.

"But he forgave you for that," she reminded him. "I was there at the wedding, remember?"

Chuck remained quiet for another moment before sitting up in his seat.

"I guess it's because he's the only real family I have," he said and she nodded. "Besides, the amount of money I gave to his mother should pull them out of the mess they're in and let him kick the Duchess to the curb."

She watched him for a long moment, quietly debating something in her mind before she finally spoke.

"You're a good friend," she said as he faced her. "At least, with what I've seen with Nate."

"I slept with his ex-girlfriend," he reminded her but she shook her head.

"Yeah, that was a crappy move," she agreed with a slight laugh. "But you gave his mom all this money to help them out. That's pretty big."

Shrugging again, he rubbed his tired eyes.

"Why is it so easy to talk to a complete stranger and not the people who really care?" Vanessa asked aloud.

"Like I said, I have no parents or family or girlfriend or best friend to talk to," he said, sounding somewhat bitter. "I guess I settled for you."

"Charming as always," she said, trying to lighten the mood. "I'm sorry I judged you before. You seem like a decent guy."

"Try telling my father that," he said and exhaled. "You know, I told him I wished he was dead but the truth is I don't. The truth is that sometimes I wish it had been me who had died that day instead of my mother."

"You're father's wrong to blame you for your mother's death and make you feel this way," Vanessa exclaimed. "It's not your fault."

"Yeah," he said, but she could tell he didn't really believe her.

As they sat in silence on the couch, she was able to see how broken and torn he was. His eyes slowly shut and he leaned his head back on top edge of the sofa, sighing quietly as Vanessa found herself staring at him from the corner of her eyes. The sadness he carried with him was one she had never expected to see from someone like him, but it made her realize in that moment how judgmental she had been.

Once night reached the outskirts of Manhattan, Serena made her way to the Waldorf residence. She had called Blair numerous times to see if she had found Chuck, but had only received her voicemail. Heading into her friend's bedroom, she saw her standing by the window staring out at the starry sky.

"Blair," she called out before moving to stand next to her. "Why haven't you returned any of my calls? What happened?"

"I got a text from Gossip Girl that he had gone to some café in Brooklyn," she began but continued to stare at the night sky. "When I got there, I saw him leaving with Vanessa."

"Vanessa?" Serena asked in surprise. "What was she doing there?"

"She lives in Brooklyn," Blair said simply.

"They left together?" Serena asked again. "I thought she hated him."

"Guess not," Blair said, smiling sadly.

Realizing where her mind was wandering, Serena turned Blair to face her.

"B, come on," she began. "You know nothing's going on. He probably had nowhere else to go with the way things are between you and him and Nate being MIA. She probably ran into him and offered her sofa or something. Chuck's in love with you, Blair, no one else."

"Why did I just stand there like an idiot?" Blair asked, finally snapping out of her daze. "I just stood there and watched him walk away with her and I felt angry and betrayed which is ridiculous because we're not even together. And then I hated myself for worrying about me when he just had the rug pulled out from under him."

"So what are you going to do?" she asked as Blair sighed.

"I'm going to break up with Marcus tomorrow morning," she replied firmly. "And then I'll find Chuck."

"I'm glad. Surprisingly enough, you guys bring out the best and worst in each other," Serena said with a smile as Blair looked down.

"I take him for granted, don't I?" she asked softly.

"What do you mean?" Serena said, sitting next to her.

"Last year when we were sneaking around, I knew how strongly he felt for me but I toyed with his feelings and when he made his first mistake, I ditched him and went straight to Nate," she said in a quiet voice. "And this time he really did screw up by abandoning me but I've been hurting him with Marcus. I saw it in his eyes every time he saw us. I guess what I mean is that I wish I could take things back. I mean, he really did hurt me but then again, I hurt him too."

"You guys have been through a lot this year," Serena began. "And with everything that's happening to him now, he really needs you Blair."

"I know," Blair agreed. "I'm done with this game. I'm done keeping us apart."

"Good," Serena said softly. "So you're going to end things with Marcus and then tell Chuck you love him?"

"Tomorrow's Christmas Eve," Blair stated before smiling. "It'll be nice to tell him tomorrow."

Serena nodded and returned her smile as Blair sighed softly.

"I can't believe Bart's been blaming him all these years," she expressed. "I mean, I never knew how bad things were between them. He's been pretty good at covering it all up."

"My mom's going to talk to Bart tonight when he gets home," Serena stated. "She's going to give him a piece of her mind or something."

"He doesn't deserve this," Blair said, tears forming in her eyes. "He must feel so alone all the time."

Serena, too, felt a pang of guilt deep down for not giving Chuck more of a chance, especially now that she knew how hard it had been for him.

"If you would have told me last year that I'd be crying over Chuck Bass, I would have laughed so hard," Blair said as Serena draped her arm around her friend's shoulder. "Now I can't imagine my life without him."

Before Serena was able to say anything else, Nate barged into the room.

"Ugh, what are you doing here?" Blair asked, her bitchiness returning in full mode as she wiped her tears away.

"What's going on with Chuck?" Nate asked, ignoring her tone.

"Oh, I don't know. His father kicked him out of his home and his family, and stripped him of his inheritance and basically told him to go to hell," Blair said, rising to her feet.

"What?" Nate asked in surprise. "Why? What happened?"

"Dan got Chuck to open up the other night and tell him about his mom and how she died giving birth to him instead of a plane crash. His mentor ended up writing a story in today's Post," Serena explained, her heart sinking when she thought of her boyfriend.

"His mom died giving birth to him?" Nate asked, sounding even more surprised than before. "I never knew that."

"And does that actually surprise you?" Blair snapped, rising to her feet. "You're friendship has always been one-sided, Nate. He's been there for you through everything and had your back all these years. He gave your mother hundreds of thousands of dollars to help you out of the mess your father created so you could get away from that whore and stop worrying about your family."

"No, I told him not to give my mom any money," Nate began.

"Yeah, but he did it anyway," Serena said, causing Nate to look away. "Apparently, he's just been waiting for the cheque to clear, that's all."

"Oh man," Nate said, his eyes suddenly turning dark.

"You're his best friend and he'd do anything for you," Blair said. "Don't you think it's about time you stepped up and did the same for him?"

Nate stared at both girls for a long time before clearing his throat.

"Where is he?" he asked.

"He's with Vanessa, probably staying at her place," Serena said as Nate frowned.

"Vanessa?" he said, remembering his ex-girlfriend as his heart quietly ached for her. "I thought she hated him."

"I guess she felt sorry for him," Serena said, tossing a glance at Blair who had grown quiet.

Nodding, Nate turned and walked out of the room as Blair crossed her arms at her chest.

"Everything will be okay, right?" she asked as Serena moved to embrace her tightly.

"I promise," she said, but even Serena seemed skeptical.