Recap
Jack has finally been arrested. Will Kensi be able to press charges?
Chapter seven
They both pretend everything is alright Monday morning when they met at work. Neither mentions staying together the whole weekend, and neither tells the others about Jack's arrest or what happened leading up to it.
It is a slow morning. Sam and Callen are working on a cold case that seems to be going nowhere and Deeks is wrapping up some paperwork he should have finished before the weekend. The guys all seemed to be having a good day. She would love to be there laughing with them but the release of her former fiancé keeps her mind preoccupied. She's doesn't know if she's scared or just angry. The only thing she does know is that she is going to press charges.
After lunch she secretly asks Hetty for some time off to go to the police station and after waiting for what seems like hours she is finally met by an officer who takes her statement.
Officer Parks is young and seems rather new at this. Kensi is not sure which one of them is more uncomfortable while he takes her statement but they manage to get through the process. It takes all she has to tell him about what happened in that house and that four weeks later her tormentor came back and broke into her bungalow twice the same night.
When Officer Parks asks for a witness he mistakenly thinks that Deeks is her boyfriend, not just her partner at work, which she thinks is ironic in light of what happened the day before. She doesn't tell him otherwise, there is no need to degrade herself any more that she already has today.
When she finally comes out of the Police Station she feels like a weight has been lifted from her chest. She knows this isn't over, far from it. But she also knows that if Jack comes back or if he attacks another woman, she has done all she can to prevent it. And that helps her justify her actions.
Her only witness spends the evening on her couch. For some reason he seems tired and a little distant and she can't help but think it has something to do with her coming on to him the day before.
She tries to find the right time to tell him about the charges and that he should be prepared if they ask him for his statement, but she can't find the right moment. Telling him feels like admitting he was right about the charges in the first place and she simply can't admit to that just yet, at least not to him.
So instead of telling him they sit together in silence, watching some TV show they only half enjoy. It's one of those evenings where they just enjoy each others quiet company until he decides to go home. There are no long goodbyes. He doesn't suggest staying and she doesn't ask him to.
She locks up when he leaves. They know Jack is probably back on the streets and she makes Deeks a promise not to open her door unless she has her gun in her hand.
Her bed feels empty and cold but she's too tired to be bothered about it. She just crawls in between the sheets and falls asleep almost immediately.
She wakes up four hours later having a very powerful orgasm. Her heart is racing and her breathing is rapid and shallow. She whisper his name into the darkness as the waves of pleasure wash over her. Marty is the name on her lips and she likes the sound of it.
This is not the first time she has a sexual dream about her partner although it hasn't happened since before Jack took her. This time the dream is so real that she would be willing to swear she felt his presence. She turns her head, hoping to see him as if by some miracle he was there. And then she remembers that he no longer has any interest in her.
Frustrated and a little hurts she does her best to fall back to sleep but somehow that never happens. When her alarm goes off she's tired and sleep deprived but gets out of bed, takes a shower and goes to work.
Deeks doesn't come to work that day and she has no idea where he is. Thankfully it's another slow day at the office so she hangs out with Nell in the Tech Center for most of the day.
Her mind is on Deeks and she wonders where he is but she doesn't call him to ask. If he wants her to know he will tell her.
When he doesn't come in on Wednesday either she talks to Hetty who tells her he has other business to attend to. She doesn't say what exactly so Kensi assumes it has something to do with LAPD.
She starts her day cleaning her desk. When she's done cleaning she looks at Deeks' desk. He has a wooden box on his desk that makes her curious. Sam and Callen are somewhere out and there is no one in the bullpen so she gives in to her curiosity and opens the box. It appears to be filled with small notes that turn out to be names and phone numbers.
"That incurable flirt" she mutters to her self. He keeps the phone numbers he gets from women who can't resist his charm. It's like a little black book.
Looking around to make sure no one is watching she tears every piece of paper into tiny bits and puts them back into the box. "Good luck using any of those phone numbers" she thinks to her self. She knows that what she did is incredibly childish but at the same time it is very gratifying.
On Thursday morning she drags her self out of bed. She still hasn't heard from Deeks and it feels a little like he has betrayed her.
When she gets in to work Sam and Callen are on their way to the gym. She decides to join them. Perhaps she will get some of the resentment and frustration out of her system during their hand-to-hand training.
After Callen beats her five times in a row he is now teasing her as he watches Sam kick her ass. She knows it's not fair but she blames Deeks. If he was there things wouldn't be so difficult and Callen wouldn't have been able to piss her off like he already did.
"Come on Sam, don't take it easy on her just because she's a girl" Callen said with laughter in his voice as Sam hoisted Kensi in the air and put her gently down on her back on the mattress.
"I am not a girl" she hisses as she gets up and tries to attack Sam. He is prepared and gets her in a headlock, winning the second fight in a row.
"I beg to differ" Callen teases. "You appear to have all the necessary female bits" he says pointing out the obvious. "What do you think, Sam?"
"She does look like a girl. She used to fight more like a boy but now I'm not so sure" he says as he once again has her laying on the floor.
By now she is so angry that she wants to cry but she's not giving them the satisfaction of seeing that happen. She jumps on Sam's back but he just shakes her off and turns her around and gets the upper hand by holding her from behind, accidentally gripping her breast in the process.
"Sam!" she yells accusingly and he quickly lets go of her apologizing for his mistake. She takes the opportunity to turn around and hook her foot around his to bring him down. This small victory gives her some satisfaction but not nearly enough to get her in a better mood.
Sam calls her a cheat and Callen makes fun of him for letting it happen. They still have one more fight to go before she can switch places with Callen and take over the verbal abuse. She looks Sam in the eye as they move in the circle, ready to jump in any time and then something catches her eye. Monty comes walking into the gym and Deeks follows close behind.
She gets distracted and Sam takes the opportunity to take her down before she knows what hit her.
"Hey!" Deeks shouts out cheerfully. "That's no way to treat my partner guys" he continues laughing. Monty seems to agree with him because he looks like he's about to attack Sam.
Kensi pushes Sam off her and gets up. Monty wags his tail happily, glad to see that she is free, but she almost doesn't notice this loyal friend. All she can see right now is her partner and all she can feel is the rage towards him and towards anyone and anything.
"Where were you?" she asks him angrily as she stops only a foot away from him.
"Relax Kensi" he tells her with a smile on his face. "I was giving my statement. Why didn't you tell me?"
"So you could gloat?" she hisses.
It dawns on him that there is something very wrong here. He can understand that she is pissed because Sam had her on the floor when he came in and Kensi really doesn't like to loose a fight. She never gets this angry though so there is probably more to it. And somehow it feels like it's his fault.
"I would never do that, you know that Kensi" he tells her. His hand reaches up to her arm, gently letting his hand trail down to her hand. She doesn't pull away but she's not taking his hand either.
"Two whole days?" she continues. "You've been gone for two days. You couldn't call or text to let me know where you were or that you were okay?"
He can't stop the grin from forming on his face. Two days is not a long time, it's like a weekend and they have had plenty of those without any contact at all. "Did you miss me?" he asks her.
She doesn't even roll her eyes witch only confirms how pissed she is. "I thought you were gone, that you'd left me" she continues. She feels the tears form in her eyes. From the corner of her eye she can see Callen and Sam watching and for some reason the gym has never been as busy as now.
"Kensi…" he asks her baffled.
"What took you so long?" she asks him. She feels like she's choking, like she will never be able to breathe normally again. The tears blur her vision and the anger explodes within her.
He steps closer and puts his hands on her shoulders, pulling her closer, but she's not letting him.
"WHY DID YOU LET HIM TAKE ME!" she yells at him as she hits him with both fists on the chest, pushing him away from her.
She realizes only too late that almost every one in the OSP Center is now in the gym and that the only sound in there is her own crying. She walks past her partner and continues out of the Mission.
With one nearly invisible nod from his master Monty goes after her. Deeks knows that no matter what happens, the dog will be there for her and that if she is going to talk to anyone or anything, it will be Monty.
It was bound to happen sooner or later. She has finally exploded and is blaming him for what happened. And he is okay with that because she has finally put her feelings into words, although he was hoping it wouldn't be such a public display.
Hetty is the one that breaks the silence after Kensi's outburst and starts by sending everyone not directly involved with the team back to their stations for work. Eric and Nell have moved to Sam and Callen who are still standing by the mattress they were using for their practice.
"Your partner did not sound happy with you just now Mr. Deeks." Hetty said. "Are you two alright?"
"We're fine" he replies. "We're going to be fine once I find her and she's calmed down."
"You do that Mr. Deeks, go find your partner. And remember, she is only lashing out. What happened was not your fault".
He takes his phone from his pocket to see if there are any messages from her. "Find her and text me" he tells Eric.
Her car is still in the parking lot. He figures she has either walked down to the beach or to a park near by, both in the same direction, so he starts walking. He gets a text from Eric ten minutes later, telling him that she's in the park.
He spots her sitting on the grass, her arms around her knees. Monty is sitting in front of her, looking at her like he wants to tell her something. He gives her a kiss, licking the tears from her face and she pushes him gently away.
Deeks walks slowly towards where she is sitting and when he reaches her he sits down behind her, his legs on either side of her legs and his arms hugging her. She doesn't turn or say anything. She is still crying and the tears are running down her face.
He doesn't say anything and Monty just stay's still where he is. Several minutes pass in silence. She stops crying and recovers, at least to the point where she can hold up a conversation.
"Why are you here?" she asks him.
"Because I'm an idiot and I need your forgiveness" he tells her.
"You are" she agrees. "Where have you been?"
He hugs her closer to his chest, thinking he really doesn't want to tell her what he has been doing but it's not something he has to hide from her either.
"I went with Sam and Callen to see a suspect last Monday and when we got there, there was this ten year old boy who had been beaten badly by his father. I took him to the hospital and then CPS took him into their care. They got him a foster family right away but he was scared and unhappy and I thought Monty might be good company for him while he was adjusting."
She feels a little embarrassed for selfishly wanting him all to her self. She knows that child abuse is his worst nightmare. His dad had been an abusive drunk that Deeks had shot in self defense when he was eleven years old. He never spoke of the incident or of his father. It was like he never existed but she knew that deep inside he was still hurting. And now, after her experience with Jack, she understands what it means never to be able to forget.
"I'm sorry" she tells him.
"I'm not" he answers. "Monty and I got to help him to a better life and that makes us happy." He reaches one hand out to the dog that is still sitting in front of Kensi, and pats his head. Monty gets up and wags his tail happily. He knows he has done a good job and comes to lay down closer to them.
"You want to tell me what happened in the gym?" he asks her.
She hesitates a little. Suddenly her problems seem so unimportant compared to the problems of a ten year old who is being abused. But she needs to get this off her chest and now is the right time.
"Sam and Callen were teasing me and I didn't handle it too well. And I may have been feeling sorry for my self because you don't like me anymore" she tells him shyly. "Am I that repulsive to you?"
He's not sure what to say. This was not what he was expecting to hear and right now he has no answer. "What gave you that impression?" he asks her.
"I have done almost everything except throw myself at you. No, wait. I did throw myself at you last Sunday and you didn't care" she continues.
He's glad she doesn't see the smile on his face. "I did care Kensi. How could you not notice how I felt? I cared enough to leave the bed for a cold shower. I didn't think making love to you while you were still in shock after the latest attack was a good idea."
"Well, you could have told me because it felt like you couldn't get away fast enough. Like I was damaged goods" she complains. Things would have been so much easier if she had understood what he was thinking.
He moves the hair from her face and kisses her cheek. "Never doubt how crazy I am about you Kensi. Every night when I leave your bungalow I would much rather take you to your bed and make love to you until the early hours of the morning, but I don't think you're ready for that yet."
"How do you know that?" she asks him stubbornly.
"I don't" he tells her, "but I'm willing to wait for the right moment."
"So, now what? Where do we go from here?" she continues. She's no longer crying and is now relaxed in his arms. Her back is to his chest and she feels the warmth coming from him.
"I thought we might take it slow, perhaps go on date, say tomorrow night." He has in fact planned a little dinner at one of his favorite restaurants and if she's in the mood for a movie he has one in mind he thinks she will like.
"I would like that" she tells him.
They sit for a few minutes in silence before she continues. "You sure you're still crazy about me?"
Her tightens his hold around her and laughs. "Why don't you just turn around and I'll show you.
Sorry for the long wait, it's been almost a month since my last update. Thank you so much to the readers who have stuck with me. I'll try to update again in two weeks.
Please leave a review, I really like those.
