A/N: I'll be shifting between the scenes with Zuko at Two Rivers and Katara in the Fire Nation Capital, so I hope it's not too hard to follow. Trigger warning for this chapter: physical abuse, non-explicit
Katara had been so caught up in the day's events that she'd almost forgotten about her appointment with Dr. Jung. She also remembered that she had Ursa's message to give him. Since so many Ursa connections seemed to be popping up, it was like a great mystery was unfolding before her eyes. Katara hoped that Zuko wouldn't view her actions as meddlesome. She didn't really have a choice, did she? After all, Ursa had come to her room—thinking it was his room, actually—but now Ursa was asking Katara to do her bidding. She had to help; she felt like she was practically part of the family anyway. But does Zuko feel that way? Or does he really want me to keep my nose out of family matters? Hmmm…
"Katara, you seem a bit lost in thought," Dr. Jung interrupted. "Perhaps we should forego our session for today."
Katara didn't realize that in her thought trance, she had dreamily wandered right into Dr. Jung's office and sat down without even knocking or announcing her arrival.
"I—I'm so sorry. I do have a lot on my mind. Perhaps I could use some of those, uh, mind-clearing therapies you're so good at," Katara half-joked.
Dr. Jung was unmoved. Is he seriously scowling at me? He's not a very nice or helpful doctor. Maybe I just see the worst of him after his having to deal with Azula all day. Yeah, that would put anyone in a bad mood. "Oh! I almost forgot. I met a friend—err, I mean, colleague of yours. She's here in the Fire Nation! And she asked me to give you this." Katara handed over the note from Ursa.
Dr. Jung's face twisted into the oddest expression as he took the note and slowly unfolded it. His eyes widened as he read the words, but was it surprise? Or horror? Katara couldn't tell, but she suddenly felt very uncomfortable.
"Where did you say you got this?" he hissed.
"Is it not signed? I assumed she would've given you a way to contact her," Katara said shakily.
Dr. Jung crumpled the paper in his hand and stood up abruptly. "Where did… how…you—nevermind, just GET OUT."
Katara was completely shocked by his reaction, but she scrambled to her feet and bolted for the door. Dr. Jung then collected himself and called after her, "Katara, wait." She slowly turned to face him again, but instinctively clutched her water skin just in case.
"Katara, I need some time to think about this, and I have some questions for you. But meanwhile, please don't tell anyone about this… about her," he implored.
She nodded, closed the office door behind her, and ran all the way back to the villa.
Uncle Iroh and Toph were having dinner when she got there. Katara debated on whether or not to join them. She was hungry enough, but she knew she her raw emotions from the day would be obvious to them, and she really didn't want to talk about it. She couldn't talk about it. She needed to change out of her hospital uniform anyway, so maybe she would feel like joining them after she freshened up. As she casually walked by the dining area, she couldn't help but overhear their conversation.
"It was a most peculiar day. I started out at the bedside of one of my most trusted guardsmen who had apparently been stabbed in the middle of the night. He wasn't expected to make it, the doctors said." Iroh paused to take a bite of food.
Toph mumbled something indecipherable since she was in mid-chew herself.
"And I just got back from visiting him again. It turns out, he'll make a miraculous recovery!" Iroh clapped his hands in delight.
Toph swallowed. "That's all well and good, but you still have one problem. There's an assailant on the loose, it sounds like. It can't be good having royal guards getting stabbed around here."
"Oh, it was probably nothing. A drunken fight that escalated or something like that. There have been a lot of unfortunate incidents since Agni Kai was taken off the table. Some folks have taken their so-called 'justice' into their own hands," Iroh conjectured.
Katara wasn't so sure this was a random act of violence. She had a sinking feeling that a man who would speak Ursa's name in his sleep may have been targeted because he had a connection with the former Fire Lady. Maybe it was because he was trying to help her, and someone found out. Katara realized that she was in this way over her head. She didn't know ANYthing about how the Fire Nation operated or ANYone and how their allegiances aligned. She decided she better tell Iroh about Ursa. She'd have to break her promise, but only because keeping the secret sounded like a huge safety risk. She had made a vow to herself that Zuko would NOT lose his mother AGAIN.
"Hi, there, Sugar Queen. Working late again?" Toph's voice pierced through Katara's whirring thoughts.
"Katara, come join us! I'd like to make a toast to… medical miracles!" Iroh winked at her.
Wait, does he know? A feeling of dread settled deep in her stomach. Katara wasn't even sure she could eat like this.
"Um, I've had a very… long day," Katara said. "But perhaps we could have some tea later, Uncle Iroh?"
"Tea it is! I'll prepare some chamomile after dinner to help ease your worries, Miss Katara," he replied.
Katara knew she should just succumb to the calming effects of the tea and get a good night's sleep, but something still bothered her. She hadn't told Iroh everything, but she did say that she knew Ursa was in the Fire Nation, and that she had met her. Iroh actually already knew she was here (Katara wasn't too surprised by this) and was delighted that the two of them had met. Katara told him about how they had a few things in common, how easy it was to talk to her, and such. Iroh recalled a few memories of Ursa with great fondness, but after a while his voice faded into a somber silence. Katara warned Iroh that the injured guard could be connected to Ursa somehow, and that while she still had friends at the palace, she may have enemies, too. Iroh conceded that this was incredibly likely, and that Ursa's re-entry into a "normal" life here at the palace would be tricky at best. He affirmed he was working on it, though, and that reassurance was the best news Katara had heard all day.
Katara did not mention Dr. Jung's connection to Ursa however. She suspected it was more of a personal matter and didn't seem to pose any security threat, except that… what was up with Dr. Jung's outburst? He had spoken fondly of Ursa, or well, of his "colleague" that Katara assumed was Ursa. And Ursa seemed excited at the possibility of seeing him. What was in that note? Katara didn't read it out of respect for their privacy, but maybe she should have. Maybe she still could… since it was an issue of safety, it might call for a little midnight ninja sleuthing!
It had been ages since Katara had done the ninja thing. She wished now more than ever that Zuko were here with her. It was the sort of thing he taught her to do better. It was the sort of thing they liked to do together. It was the sort of thing they both found incredibly sexy about each other (dressing in black and sneaking around) and so it usually led to other things… after the main task at hand was accomplished, of course.
Shortly after they came back from Ba Sing Se, Zuko had shown Katara a series of underground passageways throughout the palace grounds. It proved to be very helpful if one happened to be in a secret relationship with the Fire Lord. It was also helpful in times like this. Katara found it a bit alarming how easy it was for her to cross the entirety of the palace grounds and slip into a window at the royal hospital unnoticed.
Katara was also grateful that Toph had taught her to pick locks back at Ember Island. She had uncovered some pretty disturbing things behind locked doors at the Fire Lord's old vacation home. Dr. Jung's office wouldn't be so bad, she was just looking for a lost love note… or so she thought.
She finally found the crumpled piece of paper under the desk, but couldn't ignore the mysterious locked cabinet there. The keyhole was not in the usual spot for such a storage space under a desk, like it was meant to be concealed. It took considerably more effort to work the lock, but finally the door swung open, and a few dusty scrolls fell out. She picked up the first one:
"Methods and Formulas for Medicinal Matters of the Mind"
Katara skimmed it, finding a few phrases that piqued her interest and noting some of the diagrams, but largely its medical language was beyond her expertise.
Herbal concoction: purple sun poppy (Fire Nation component) and domed mushroom (Earth Kingdom component)
Reaction: Human brain is relaxed, malleable, hallucinations are possible side effects
Katara knew about the uses and effects of both the sun poppy and the mushroom. She thought combining the two would be an odd, if not dangerous thing to do. She skimmed further.
Meditation component: application of the Air Nomad tradition of unlocking one's chakras, healing begins with finding which blocked chakra is the source of patient's pain
Study suspended due to lack of resources.
This was brilliant, Katara thought. She had never considered what the Air Nomad teachings could bring to the medical field, but it made perfect sense that their peaceful practices could aid in the healing of the mind. Katara made a mental note to ask Aang about chakras and meditation.
The last bit of notes seemed to be scribbled in a hurry and didn't make much sense to her.
Hypnotic state achieved when patient focuses on steady source of motion.
Technique used: a swaying lantern (subject finds firelight soothing)
Use of trigger word to bring patient in and out of hypnotic state rendered unpredictable results.
Subject? Katara noticed the change in wording from patient in that one phrase. She wondered who Dr. Jung's subject was. She feared that she already knew.
The next scroll she pulled out was entitled, "Notes on Subject." It was not written like observations in a medical journal, but more like a series of Dr. Jung's own reflections. At first Katara didn't want to pry into his personal business like this. She wouldn't like it if someone read her journal about a certain subject she wrote about once upon a time. She finally convinced herself that she'd come here on account of Ursa's safety—if anything, she'd do it for Zuko. So she read.
She wasn't sure if minutes or hours had passed. All she knew was that horror had overcome her. She eventually found herself in a heap on the ground outside the hospital window dry heaving. She wished she could un-know what she now knew. And she didn't know what to do with what she knew. But something had to be done.
Notes on Subject
by Dr. Jung
Subject has agreed to do the study. I have advised her not to, I fear the results will be too unpredictable. But her dreams are so intense, and I wish her relief from these fears that consume her. She wants to make a new life here, and I want to help her. I have encouraged her to keep a dream journal. We will begin testing the herbal component soon.
...
We have finally found the right combination for the herbal concoction. It opens her mind for the work we need to do to erase the pain. I speak to her in even tones during therapy. She is calm and relaxed. She seems to be hallucinating about him, her monster. But she is telling him to go away. This is good, I think? This is such uncharted science. I wonder if this is a different level of consciousness we have accessed. An un-consciousness, perhaps. Fascinating, but scary.
...
I read her dream journal. I want to kill him. I don't know if what happened in the dreams are what really happened, but I'm sure that what happened was terrible enough (or worse) if these images are the result. I don't think she knows I read it. I am pressing forward with our work with renewed vigor. She will be free of this.
...
I told her I want to protect her. I told her I want to kill him. This was a mistake, I know now, but in her confusion and my attempts to comfort, we made love. I am ashamed, because this is not how I imagined I would profess my love to her. I don't want to take advantage of her vulnerability. She may never love me back because of this. I did discover that the dreams are true. She is scarred on her sides, back and abdomen. A coward's work, where no one can see his secret torture. I will expose him for the monster he is.
...
When I awoke this morning, she was gone. She always talked about going to the Eastern Air Temple to study chakras with a guru, so I assume this is where she went. I do not believe the Air Nomad teachings have a place in the world of medicine, but she seems to think it is the missing component. I think she has left to get away from me. I find consolation in the fact that the Eastern Air Temple is about as far away from the Fire Nation as one can get.
...
I have been contracted by the Dai Li to collaborate on an operation where they wish to apply our research. They have assigned me an agent to learn our methods. In turn, he is showing me some of their techniques for hypnosis. It seems like an undignified way to enter one's mind, to me, but I have considered that when combined with some of the therapies we've tested, it might have some merit. It pays good money, and it helps take my mind off of her.
...
There is not much to report. My work with the Dai Li continues. The war rages on, but there has been no indication that she has returned home or that her children are in danger. They are his blood, perhaps that it enough to spare them. I miss her.
...
She is back! She did not speak of where she has been for the past several months, but she is here to request my help. She has just learned of a most terrible thing, an Agni Kai between the monster and his son. Her son. I have never seen her so enraged. She says we have to go to the Fire Nation immediately. I know this is a mother's love, and I'm deeply troubled by what has happened to the boy, but she cannot go back there. To him. I will try to calm her with some of our methods. Then perhaps she will see reason.
...
I told her I needed to stay and work. She has threatened to leave without me to search for her son. The Dai Li have threatened to have me arrested if I do not complete the project. I feel trapped. I do not know what to do. I love her.
...
I have done a terrible thing. I went too far. I only wanted peace in place of her suffering. I only wanted her to stop screaming the child's name in anguish. The nightmares have returned. After all of our hard work, her monster still haunts her as fiercely as the day she came here. The brain is resilient. I had to use the most extreme treatment to date. She remembers nothing. Not even my name. She stares blankly at me. I tell myself, this is good. A clean slate. But I think my soul has died with hers.
...
The Dai Li grew impatient. They came and confiscated all of my supplies and the most recent research. I have kept several key scrolls hidden and preserved. They even took her. They said she would make a most excellent prototype for their new initiative: Operation Joo Dee. Maybe she will live in the upper ring, they will pay her lots of money, and she will finally be happy. Maybe I will go seek a life of solitude in the Eastern Air Temple. There is nothing left for me here.
...
Dr. Wang, my advisor, came to visit. He has convinced me to stay, that there is more work to be done. His predecessor was commissioned by Avatar Roku to study the matters of the mind, to find out what makes men go mad. I owe it to Ursa to do this. And to her children if there is still any hope for them. And to find a cure for the curse that appears to have gripped the Fire Nation royal family. To that end, I owe the world.
