Trick of the Light
Rated T
A/N: I feel kind of disappointed with the last update [I know it was only a couple of hours ago] but there's something about it I'm not entirely happy with, but I don't know what. For some reason I got a bit stuck with it, and because I felt bad I wrote another chapter, so I hope you like this one a bit more! [unless you didn't mind the other one, but I did, so oh well] :)
…
Bruce Banner was a very open minded man. It was kind of in the job description, sort of. I mean, if someone had told him say, ten or fifteen years ago that he'd end up dealing with magical, mythical beings, he'd have probably laughed it off. But now here he was, having breakfast with the God of Thunder himself in a relatively inconspicuous café whilst waiting for two assassins, a God of Trickery [amongst other things], an alcoholic, genius prat and a super soldier to join them. He tended to accept such statements as "there will be a wizard joining us for breakfast" as the norm now. A niggling thought in the recesses of his brain told him that maybe that was, you know, kind of unhealthy. He tried his best to ignore it.
Steve was the next to join their merry little band, ordering himself a glass of juice and prolonging the pleasant equilibrium that Bruce had strived to maintain. Natasha and Clint arrived next almost completing the ensemble. Together, as they sat there, they almost looked normal, aside from Thor whom they sometimes told people was a little… touched in the head. The fact that he carried an enormous hammer around with him almost everywhere they went meant that most people didn't really question it further. Banner rubbed his jaw, almost dreading the arrival of the lovebirds. If any two people could shatter any sense of normality just by occupying the same space as each other it was Tony and Loki.
An hour or so rolled by without any word from the aforementioned couple as to when they'd be gracing the rest of the group with their presence, and it had Bruce feeling kind of on edge. If he was being perfectly honest, he had come to expect Stark's unpredictable time management skills, but Loki wasn't one for making flashy, spectacularly late entrances. He knew for a fact the God practically despaired at how late his partner made them and had managed to get Tony down to being roughly around half an hour or so late for any given social event. In the case of a meeting however he had no qualms about delaying the easily waylaid scientist for as long as possible, or until Fury had a haemorrhage.
"Guys, I just got a text from Loki." Natasha suddenly interrupted, a frown marring her otherwise flawless complexion. The group turned to look at her. "It just says 'Help', think it's just one of his jokes?" She asked, quirking an eyebrow.
"I'm not even sure I want to kn- Oh no. Can somebody turn the volume up for the news please?" Banner shouted to the guys behind the counter.
Without a word the group turned towards the wall mounted television and all but Thor experienced a collective inward groan. Clint even went as far as to face palm. The image that greeted them was one of Tony Stark completely in his element, swathed by reporters, paparazzi and journalists, arms linked tightly with an absolutely bewildered Loki. He was addressing the world at large. He was outing his relationship with the God that, not quite a year ago, had tried to enslave the entire human populace armed only with magic, a fabulous staff, oh and an alien army. The trickster, to his credit, hardly looked intimidating dressed in black jeans and a shirt with a tiny reindeer emblazoned on the chest, another one of Starks 'ironic' gifts no doubt.
"Yes, yes I know what you're all thinking," Tony drawled, completely at ease surrounded by the press of bodies, "and frankly, I am ashamed at all of you who doubted my abilities to please a God." It was at this point that Loki closed his eyes, shaking his head slightly, almost as if praying for the ground to swallow him whole. The rest of the Avengers felt his pain.
"You see, Loki here is now officially part of the Avengers, and he is doing everything in his power to make amends for that little business with the alien army thing. Did I mention how stunning his cheekbones are?" A sharp dig to the ribs temporarily silenced the tongue-wagging philanthropist long enough for Loki to hiss something in his ear. The Iron Mans eyes glinted dangerously at that. A challenge had apparently been issued. Loki noted the look with a decidedly murderous glare. "Just to clarify, Loki Odinson, that's this guy right here, is indeed my boyfriend. And looking at that ass, who can blame me right? Did I also mention his nick name is silver tongue, and believe me, the things he can do wi-"
"I think you've covered all the basics, Stark. We should leave. Now." Loki snapped in a perfectly clipped tone. There was a line fast approaching that Tony was dangerously close to clearing.
"But princess, I haven't even told them about what you can do with your-"
"Question your God again and I swear this silver tongue will be the reason you will be pissing sideways for the rest of your life." The green-eyed God spat. A glaring silence answered him occasionally interrupted by the flash of a camera, as he slowly became aware of what he had just said, tarring his image as an eloquent, rational and not entirely insane being. Live on television. To thousands, if not millions of people. He felt a slight flush mar his cheeks, and was saved from humiliating himself further when Stark hastily rounded off the interview.
"Well, ladies and gentlemen there you have it! If you'll excuse us, Reindeer Games and I must be going, so many meetings, saving the world parties, superhero shin-digs and whatnot to attend and so little time." He beamed, dragging the teeth grinding God through the crowd and into a sleek, black car that had, at some point, managed to pull up besides them inconspicuously during the interview, no doubt at Peppers behest once she caught wind of the publicity shit storm that was currently going down.
Suddenly the idea of a peaceful, normal breakfast with friends seemed completely out of reach and Bruce mentally it filed away under 'things I will never have'. Thor had almost choked part way through Tony's ramblings screaming something about taking Mjolnir to the man of irons kneecaps. Steve and the assassins had already started placing bets on how long Stark would live and whether he'd ever even make it out of that car. A phone started ringing at the table, Banner sighed when he realised that it was his. He hated how he was the go-to guy when Stark fucked up and nobody could get hold of the man of the hour himself. They weren't joined at the hip, though that much was obvious now after his little talk with the press.
Flipping his phone he groused a little at the sight of Fury's name flashing angrily on the screen before answering. The rest of the Avengers listened intently to the one half of the conversation they could hear.
"Yes, we all saw. No we had no idea. I don't know when- well I wouldn't worry about that now sir, it's not likely we'll ever see him again. But if that is the case, I'd get unrestricted access and the rights to his lab right? No sir, that wasn't a joke. Yes. I'll do that. Yeah, have a good day sir." He finished.
"Fury having kittens?" Clint asked, grinning.
"Director Fury is a shape shifter too?" Thor asked.
"So is he in line for lynching Stark too?" Natasha inquired, leaving Steve to deal with the previous question. "He'll have a long wait if he is," she continued, "you do not even want me to repeat what Pepper just text me." She added, unable to conceal her ever widening grin.
"Fury told me to alert him when Tony next made an appearance, apparently he hasn't returned to HQ. If he has any sense at all he'll lie low for a while, let this whole thing die down first." Bruce replied, his answer punctuated by a far too familiar and jovial "Hello friends!"
Every single pair of eyes snapped to the cocksure voice, and then drifted to the eye that looked as if were already starting to blacken. Tony sat down between Banner and Natasha, dragging an ashen face Loki with him. The God merely placed his face in his hands, elbows resting on the table, for once not caring how 'teeming with Midgardian filth' it might be and seemed unable to utter a single word.
"So by the looks on your faces, I'm guessing I'm the only one who thought that went well?" Tony laughed, quickly returning Barton's high five whilst Loki silently anguished. "Well, hey there's one seal of approval, no more?"
"Tony I… Was the black eye and impending lynching worth it?" Bruce questioned, struggling to keep his expression impassive.
"Son of Howard, you realised that I am going to have to crush you for this slight. I will not have my brother shamed so publically whilst you-"
"Oh come off it Thor, you absolute waste of grey matter, I think you already achieved that when you stopped me from taking over this pathetic little world aided by a man whose only function is to fire arrows. ARROWS THOR." Loki snapped before dissolving into a muffled diatribe on how higher being shouldn't have to suffer in this way, and if it was too early for tequila, but to hell with it, he was a God and he can do as he pleased.
With a flick of his wrist the liesmith emptied a large quantity of hastily magicked tequila into the cup of tea Rogers had just placed in front of him before downing it rapidly. Nobody questioned this, although Thor shot the younger God his best puppy dog eyes in an attempt to reconcile with his stricken little brother. Placing the empty cup down next to the bottle of rapidly depleted alcohol still on the table, with no signs of disappearing, Loki finally exhaled loudly as if gaining some semblance of control over his tongue.
"Apologies, Barton, your archery skills are probably without equal on this planet, but Thor you are still an idiot. Still, I apologise for the vitriolic manner in which I called you one." He said finally, his eyes fixated however on the bottle in front of him, the inner turmoil over whether to just be done with it and neck it apparent to the rest of the group. Tony merely laughed and draped an arm around his lovers shoulders, ignoring the flinch he felt upon contact.
"Do you guys have any idea what I've just done? I mean really? Loki was this feared, reviled figure before now, and I have just managed to embarrass him on national television whilst simultaneously revealing our relationship. Gods knows it's probably on the internet already and I can guarantee the majority of comments will be showing nothing but sympathy towards our once wayward God here. If it's one thing I can do well, it's manipulate the press. You guys should give me a little credit, I think you forget that I'm Iron Man, I'm awesome."
"If you can survive the rest of this conversation without Loki stabbing you in the eyes with a fork, I might be able to start believing that." Romanoff interjected, surreptitiously edging her fork closer to the vexed God.
"I can see where the logic comes from." Loki exclaimed finally, much to the disbelief of the others. " Do not get me wrong, I am sorely tempted to end Starks life, the fork method being just one of the many options I am taking into consideration, but I can see why it might be beneficial. At the moment I do not look like a God should, for all intents and purposes I look very much incapable of taking over the world dressed like this. And I am also not especially fond of cameras being shoved in my face, nor being mortified in public, but if Tony thinks that this will work, and it had better, I will give him the benefit of the doubt for now. Besides, people seemed a little less eager to hate me after I saved your worthless hides for the umpteenth time last week." He explained with a grimace.
"So this whole 'giving him the benefit of the doubt' thing only came about after the black eye i'm guessing?" Steve asked before shooting the man of iron a look that almost read 'sorry, but you did kind of deserve it.'
"One day, guys, you will thank me for this. And Loki might too, once he realises that I have shares in a company selling official 'reindeer games' merchandise which are now selling out left, right and centre." Tony trilled, leaning into the now slightly perkier God on his arm. Loki seemed to consider this a moment before shaking his head in resignation, if he got a present out of it, it might not be all that bad he reasoned.
For a long moment the group sat in a sort of amicable silence, occasionally someone reaching over for sugar or asking somebody else to get them another drink. Even Thor managed to keep his voice at a human level.
That was until anger erupted from one end of the table when Loki threw his boyfriends arms from around him, pointing a long, accusatory finger in his face.
"I swear to the Fucking Halls of Asgard Stark if you've bought me a shitting reindeer I am going to decorate the streets with your entrails." He screamed.
"If it's any consolation," Tony pretended to wince, "I bought one whose antlers refused to grow and fixed some gold plated ones to it instead. Now you and he can frolic and play all your fabulous little reindeer games without fear of persecution. And I did all this for you." He finished, beaming, watching with delight as it took Loki half an hour of seething under Mjolnir on a dirty café floor before the urge to strangle the life out of his lover had faded.
He had no doubts however that he was going to die that night.
Not in the least because of the glittering reindeer that actually awaited them back at HQ.
…
Yooooo double upload night! ;)
