Joe's Note: Back by what I'm hoping is popular demand… more Cordelia! While trying to reconcile the books', comics', and cartoons' separate accounts of the events of the Clone Wars is damn near impossible since they were orchestrated by three completely separate groups of people who almost never talked to each other… I'm going to try my best. Mostly because no one source featured more than one prominent visit to Kamino after the outbreak of the war, and I need two at a minimum to pull this story off. If you're new to this story and wondering why, I'll give you a hint in the form of the title of Chapter 9: 'Cordius Multiplicitus'.
Dedications & Thanks: To Nicholas, Alexander, Howard, MJ, Daniel, Christopher, Marc, Ziryo, Elliot, Crusifikz70, Timothy, Leigh, Jason, Chris, George, Koby, Ken, Thyatira, William, Wil, Invernos, Jack, Pat, Warren, Chris, Mitch, and Jess for sponsoring me on , and making it easier for me to spend more of my time writing.


Grimacing, Cordelia tightened her grip on the overhead strap to keep her balance as the deck of the Low Altitude Assault Transport bucked wildly beneath her. A nearby clone trooper couldn't quite muffle his snicker and Cordelia retaliated with a slight telekinetic shove that sent him stumbling into the bulkhead of the LAAT/i. Asshole.

Why couldn't they have used a more civilized - and comfortable - method of reaching the surface of Kamino? They'd used a T-6 shuttle to travel from the Temple to the Defender before it departed Coruscant; surely a Venator-class Star Destroyer carried at least shuttle of some sort on board even if their original ride had been sent back to the surface? Anything would have been better than a damn clone gunship that was designed for rapid troop transport rather than comfort. For one, the gunship didn't have solid walls, which meant she was exposed to the cold wind and driving rain as they approached their destination. And it didn't even have seats! Just stupid straps of fabric for people to grab and hold! Seriously, they could fly through hyperspace and travel between planets in a matter of hours or days… but they didn't know what seat belts were for? What the hell was that?

Although she should probably stop complaining, Cordelia realized, because at least this little jaunt meant that she was getting out of the Temple for more than a few hours at a time. Even if the ride sucked. Two months into a great big intergalactic conflict and Cordelia… was still mostly stuck on Coruscant doing nothing. Thankfully - although she felt kinda bad thinking it, since the man had been nice enough - Hiskari's master had been killed during the mission to Geonosis and so at least she wasn't completely alone. Or bored. Wink wink. On the other hand, it meant that since Master Windu wasn't around any more to provide a human-sized servant for Yoda - and most of her tutors had been shipped off-world to aid in the war effort - Cordelia had gotten 'promoted' to fill that void. Which meant she now spent her days getting dragged to meetings, diplomatic functions, and any other place Yoda might need someone to carry something or reach for an item more than two feet off the ground. Joy.

Today, that meant they were visiting the oh-so-lovely world of Kamino. The Separatists had launched an attack on the planet for obvious reasons - kill the cloners and then the Republic would inevitably run out of troops as the war dragged on - and so Yoda was making a visit to ensure that the facilities fueling the Bland Army of the Republic were still in decent shape. Cordelia glared at the little gnome's back. When he'd told her of their destination, she'd gone to the Archives and tried looking up Kamino. Nothing. And of course that hadn't been included in the mission's information packet; Yoda had probably assumed she already knew all about the planet since he did and her job was to follow him. Pfft. Like she actually paid attention during his boring meetings. Which was why she hadn't known they were going to a giant stormy ball of water, and chosen her outfit terribly as a result. God, her boss was such an asshole sometimes. Yoda shot a look back over his shoulder at her, but she maintained her glare. Yeah, you heard me! Obnoxious gnome!

A few minutes later, the gunship finally touched down on their assigned landing platform and the doors swung open so that they could disembark. Yoda's cane made little clicks against the metal deck before he let out a grunt and dropped to the platform. Peering down at the puddle he was standing in, Cordelia sighed before following him out into the raging storm. At least they had the good sense to not have some sort of drawn-out welcoming party out on the landing platform, she mused. In the end, though, it was little use: by the time Ko Sai led them through a pair of clear sliding doors and into shelter, her outfit was soaked through from the driving rain. Ugh. Nothing beat cold, soaked cloth clinging to one's skin when it came to comfort.

The procession soon reached the command center where the meeting was to be held, and Cordelia quickly spotted a potential escape route for herself. "Hey, Master Yoda, sir? Can I borrow Aayla for a bit so I can go find a change of clothes? We're pretty close to the same size and I'm really not feeling my current look." All eyes in the room came to rest on her, and then the jaws of every human male present dropped. Or at least Cordelia assumed they had; she couldn't see the clone troopers' faces for obvious reasons, but they were definitely shooting looks her way. "There is no passion, people, there is serenity." The attention didn't waver and so Cordelia crossed her arms over her chest defensively before stomping her foot in irritation. "Stop ogling me!"

"My previous companions, I miss. Scraping the bottom of the barrel, I am." Yoda let out an aggrieved sigh before glancing over at where Aayla was shaking her head in amusement. "If amenable, General Secura is? Required by me, your presence is not."

The Rutian Twi'lek shook her head before pushing off of the holoprojector that she was leaning against. "I think I've been thoroughly debriefed on the battle at this point. Seeing as how I'll be shipping out with 327th Star Corps in a few days, I wouldn't be relevant to defense planning even if I had any experience. Seeing as how I'm not needed here? Come on, Cordelia. Let's see if we can find you something drier and less transparent to wear." As soon as she'd led Cordelia out of the command center and into one of the complex's featureless hallways, though, Aayla let out a little snicker. "Honestly, Cordelia, wearing a white dress to a planet where it rains nine and a half days out of ten? I would think that you of all people would know better."

Cordelia snorted before tossing her head, letting her soaked hair slap against her companion's face. "Funny, Aayla. Really funny. Hilarious. Don't you think I checked the Archives for information when Yoda gave me this mission? There's nothing. And somehow, you and Shaak Ti both managed to neglect to share the whole 'water world covered in constant rain' tidbit with me. I mean seriously, do you think I would have done that on purpose? The last thing I need is Emokin and Obi-Wank polishing their lightsabers to the mental image of me in a wet white dress." Peering back over her shoulder, she arched an eyebrow. "The clones, on the other hand, I don't mind nearly as much. I looked up Jango Fett after one of the troopers mentioned who their father was, and the Kaminoans definitely could have picked a worse person to make a few million copies of."

"Cordelia!" Aayla looked scandalized as she glanced back and forth between Cordelia and the two clone troopers trailing them, and wow did that expression look odd on a species with no eyebrows. "I thought you were better than that! Especially after all of the trouble that you've had with the High Council over your relationship with her, that you're so willing to throw Hiskari away for-"

Curling one hand around Aayla's right bicep, Cordelia pulled the Twi'lek to a stop before pressing her free hand over Aayla's mouth to silence her. "First things first, who said anything about throwing her away? Cheating? Et cetera and so forth? I'm just saying that if someone's gonna be fantasizing about me, I'd rather it be the hunky trooper army. To be brutally honest, I'm not sure I'd trust them if they weren't lusting after me. Clearly, they'd be defective." Aayla let out a snort at that, and Cordelia chuckled before pulling her hand away from her friend's mouth. "But secondly, let's say that I was thinking of trading in Hiskari… and that I was interested in playing for the home team again. We both know that the High Council is okay with sex as long as you know the rules: as long as you don't fall in love or anything, you can take care of your needs. The whole 'army of identical buff, hunky men' thing would actually work in my favor at that point: any time I felt like I was getting too attached, I could trade my boyfriend in for a new one." Then something occurred to her and she paused, looking from one of her clone trooper escorts to the other consideringly. "Although if I did decide to date one… do you think it'd count as cheating if I slept with a different one, since they're all technically the same person?"

The armored troopers looked at each other, and then came a slight pop followed by a slightly altered-sounding voice emerging from the clone trooper with green markings on his armor. "Personally, I feel like the answer to that would be no…"

"You're hardly unbiased, Kano." Pulling away from Cordelia, Aayla turned on her heel and resumed her trek down the curving hallway. "And Cordelia, I'm not even going to dignify that with an answer." Cordelia rolled her eyes as she followed behind the Twi'lek; she still didn't get the point of replying just to say you weren't going to reply. Clearly, that was in fact a reply. "Just out of curiosity, have you always been this naughty or has something changed in the past few months?"

"I'm sorry, do you not remember that time I went in front of the High Council and threatened to screw half the padawans in the Temple? I'm not any more or less 'naughty' than I used to be, Aayla. I'm just even more painfully candid than I used to be because… well, we're at war. What if you die tomorrow? I don't want to be left regretting all the things I never said to make you blush." The two reached a fork in the hallway and came to a halt. "Besides, is the woman who insists that pole-dancing is a legitimate form of exercise really the best person to lecture me about being naughty?"

Aayla's turquoise skin flushed a lovely shade of dark blue at that, and she sniffed before looking away from Cordelia's teasing grin. "I'll have you know that pole-dancing is a very good workout and that's why Twi'leks are taught how to dance from a young age. It builds muscle tone, flexibility…"

"…and a small army of male padawans willing to do your bidding when you make a habit of 'working out' using that nice pole smack dab in the center of that one gym. Your feeble attempt at moral superiority fails." Cordelia's grin widened when Aayla stuck her tongue out in response; as always, it fell to her to keep the Twi'lek from getting sucked into the black hole of seriousness that was the Jedi Order. And just like every other time in past, she'd succeeded at her self-appointed mission. "Now, why are we standing here? I can almost feel those four eyes boring into my ass, and it's almost enough to tempt me away from the Dyke Side for the afternoon. Almost. Which would be a disaster, because I'm reasonably certain that the time difference means Hiskari is asleep on Coruscant."

"Why is that at all-"

"We decided that if we're not both there physically, the other has to at least be watching it on holocomm or it's considered cheating."

Absolute silence descended for nearly a minute as Aayla stood there processing that, ultimately throwing her hands up in defeat before shaking her head. "Just when I think I finally understand the intricacies of your relationship with Hiskari, you open your mouth and prove me wrong." After spending a bit longer in introspection, Aayla shook her head again as she refocused on the matter at hand, waving toward the left fork in the hallway with one hand as the other gestured down at her own outfit. "What passes for guest quarters around here are down that way. Thank the Force I'm used to spartan quarters at the Temple, or I'd be quite put out at the accommodations. I'm equally glad you're not going to be here long; I can only imagine what you're going to say." Cordelia arched a brow at that; if even Aayla was unhappy with the housing situation… yikes. "I packed what little I have in the way of a wardrobe when I left Coruscant because I wasn't sure when I'd be back and I didn't want to spend a few months living in the same outfit." Then Aayla swapped, using her right hand to indicate the other hallway as she jerked her left thumb back over her shoulder at the clone troopers. "The Kamino armorsmiths are set up two or three sectors over from here. While they obviously wouldn't have anything that fits you right now, I heard one of the Kaminoans talking to Obi-Wan earlier. They're trying to find a willing volunteer to help them fine-tune a new armor design for the clones. I believe this is where you would say… hint hint?"

Cordelia pondered her options for a second. Barely. Behind Door Number One lay a cleavagey, midriff-baring leather top and matching leather pants that were meant for someone with less donk than she herself possessed. Behind the other door lay some kick ass armor that she could hopefully use to convince the High Council to promote her past 'Reach Up To That Shelf, You Must' Girl. She had enough problems with guys ogling her when she wore stuff more covering than Aayla preferred… and she was in a white mood today. And so looping her arm through Aayla's, she tugged the Twi'lek off down the righthand corridor. "Hi ho, hi ho, to the armory we go."


"…sir, are all the female Jedi going to look like those two?"

CS-1004 gave a discreet shake of his head to convey an answer without giving away to the Jedi that they were using their helmet comlinks to communicate. After spending the last few days around her, the clone trooper sergeant was finally getting used to the less-clothed form of General Secura. This new Jedi woman, in her nearly transparent dress that showed off more smooth skin and skimpy white underwear than he'd ever seen outside of the HoloNet… she was something else. "I don't think so, trooper. I'm pretty sure that most of them dress like General Ti and General Unduli."

"Thank the Maker."