Since the attack, for lack of a more appropriate word, Sara had stayed with Gil. She hadn't exactly moved in, but it was obvious that she wasn't planning a return trip to her apartment anytime soon. She didn't feel safe in her own home anymore. Gil tried his best to reassure her that they would find the perpetrator, but it had been three weeks and they still had nothing. Sara lost all hope and resorted to being a recluse; sleeping all day and watching TV all night. It had never been like her to play the victim; she had always been a strong woman who had survived so much in her life already. Now she jumped at every noise, demanded that Gil install an alarm, and triple checked the windows and doors before going to bed. Gil didn't mind that Sara wanted to be with him around the clock, but when it was time for him to go to work; she clung to him like a child. The only way that he could calm her nerves was by promising to call her every hour on the hour. Her depression had gotten so dark that she barely ate, slept, or bathed. It was Brass who suggested that Gil get Sara some professional help.

"No," Gil said firmly. "She doesn't like psychiatrists"

They were in Brass's office after a long and exhausting shift. Brass had been puzzled at the way Gil picked up his phone every hour to talk to Sara. It was obvious to him that they were in love; he never doubted it would happen.

"It's not your fault, Gil," Brass said, getting up to shut his door. "She obviously is having a hard time with all this. You shouldn't let her stay like this."

Gil took a gulp of the stiff drink that Brass had set before him. "I know it isn't my fault," he paused and looked down at his glass. "Maybe it is."

Brass shook his head. "No," he said to his friend. "It's not your fault; no one knew this would happen."

Gil felt differently. "Jim, if I had been there," he said. "I wouldn't have let him hurt her."

"If you had been there," Brass said. "He may have killed you. He was waiting to get her alone; you wouldn't have been able to stop it. She got out alive and that's more than we can say for Shannon Andrews or any of the other women; Sara is a fighter."

Gil agreed. "I know she is," he said. "I just don't think she'll be too thrilled about seeing a doctor."

"Don't tell her it's for her until you get her into the car," Brass suggested. "Just say you have an appointment to keep and want her to go with you."

Brass had always been a man that Gil knew he could go to for his problems, but suggesting that he lie to Sara was odd for him. He and Sara had never lied to one another; it provoked deception and mistrust. Still, there wouldn't be any other way to get her the help she needed. Instead of the fun, energetic, and curious Sara, he was now living with a downtrodden, lowly, recluse Sara; and he didn't like it. Her brown eyes had lost their sparkle and she was growing pale from not getting out.

Gil nodded. "I'll try," he said. "I just hope she doesn't jump out of the car when I tell her."

"If she is the person I know," Brass said. "Then she wants help. She doesn't want to be like this."

"Thanks Jim," Gil said.

Gil stood up to leave, but as soon as he did Conrad Ecklie opened the door. The expression he wore told Gil that he was irritated.

"What can I do for you, Conrad?" Gil asked.

Ecklie crossed his arms. "You can tell Sara that if she doesn't get back to work next week then she's out of a job," he said.

"Well," Gil said. "Sara has plenty of vacation time stored up."

Ecklie sighed. "I knew you would say something like that," he said. "You tell her to come in or else she's fired."

0~0

Gil took Brass's advice and made an appointment with the best doctor in Clark County. He told Sara that the appointment was to renew his migraine prescription and he begged her to join him. She had been sleeping when he came in and she was still wearing the same pajamas she had on the previous night.

"Gil," Sara sighed, burying her head into the pillow. "I'm really not feeling up to it."

Gil took her by the hand and pulled her out of bed. "I think you should get out," he said. "You're losing too much weight."

Sara stepped into the bathroom and looked at her reflection. "I feel fine," she said.

Gil shook his head. "I know you're just saying that," he said. "We'll go and get a bite to eat. I know you've been missing those veggie sandwiches and soup."

Gil could tell she wanted to go; she never did like to pass up her favorite restaurant. "I have to change," Sara said after a few moments. "I don't want to make you late."

Gil checked his watch. "I have plenty of time," he said.

~0~

The drive to the psychiatrists' office was peaceful. Sara brought a book and was reading it out loud to Gil. Reading out loud was something special that they shared; it brought them closer.

"Sara, I have to be honest with you," Gil said, interrupting her reading.

Sara closed the book. "We're not going to get your prescription renewed are we?" she asked.

Gil looked surprised. "How did you know?" he asked.

Sara looked serious. "We're going in the wrong direction first off," she said, and then she added. "And seconded we just got your prescription renewed."

Gil sighed. "I just didn't think you would come with me if I told you where we were going," he said.

Sara folded her arms. "And where is that?" she asked.

Gil gulped. "I'm taking you to see Dr. Clay," he said. "He is the best Psychiatrist in Clark County."

Sara shook her head firmly. "No," she said. "Turn the car around."

Gil stood his ground. "You need to talk to someone," he said. "It isn't healthy to be like this."

"I don't care," Sara said. "You know I hate psychiatrists."

"I know you do," Gil said. "I want my girlfriend back."

Sara took offense. "Well, I'm sorry I screwed everything up," she said.

"You know I didn't mean it like that," Gil said with a sigh. "Ecklie is going to fire you if you don't come back to work. We need to fix this."

Sara held up her hands. "Then I'll just go back to work," she said. "It's not a big deal."

"Honey," Gil said taking her hand. "I want you to feel better. Do this for me. If you don't feel better after talking to Dr. Clay then we won't go back."

"You promise?" Sara asked.

Gil nodded. "I promise," he said.

O~O

He had given up all hope of seeing Sara again. Her beautiful brown hair and freckled skin was something that he saw in only his dreams now. In his mind he went over everything he did wrong: he should taken the keys out of his car, he should have kept his satchel out of her reach, and he should have taken her sooner. Going after her now would be a great risk. Not only were people on the lookout for him, but because she was staying with her boyfriend. Breaking into the condo of a man who worked for the police department wasn't the brightest idea. He felt like he did when he was a young child and he left the door to his finch's cage open. The finch flew around the room for a few minutes before escaping out an open window. He had cried to his mother about his missing pet, but all she said was that he shouldn't have left the cage door open. The only thing to do now was to help the people that needed him. He may have been a hunter by night, but by day he was a god. His place of business was The Clark County Psychiatric center and he took his job very seriously. People flocked to him for his knowledge, begging for him to give them miracle pills that would take away their pains. He also owned and operated his own institution, where a lot of his patients ended up. He was a very well respected man and did not bring his private life to work.

"Dr. Clay," his secretary, Betsy, said, opening the door to his office. "Your twelve-thirty is here."

Betsy was a large woman who worshiped and adored him. Clay bought her boxes of chocolates on holidays and allowed her as much time off as she requested. He honestly didn't need a secretary; he was a well organized man.

Clay looked at his clipboard and couldn't believe his eyes. "Ms. Sidle?" he asked.

Betsy nodded. "Yes," she said. "She requested that her boyfriend sit in with her. I told her that I would have to ask you about it?"

So his little sparrow has found her way to him. Clay wasn't a believer, but fate had to have had a hand in this. It did present a problem though, how could he see her without giving his true self away? The game was still on, but this time he would have a better plan.

"What should I tell her?" Betsy asked.

Clay smiled. "Tell her that it is fine," he said.

O=O

"Gil, I don't feel right in here," Sara said, wringing the hem of her shirt.

They were sitting in the fancy waiting room of Dr. Clay's office. Sara had tried to get Gil to turn back multiple times, but he was adamant that she see a professional.

Gil took her hand. "It'll be fine," he said. "It's just going to be for an hour."

Sara rubbed her forehead. "It's just that," she said. "When I was a kid, psychiatrists were always asking me how I was feeling. All I wanted was to be left alone."

Gil put his arm around her. "I'm sorry you had to go through that," he said. "I won't let anyone make you feel threatened."

Sara leaned her head against Gil's shoulder and smiled. "You're so good to me," she said. "Sometimes I think you'd be better off without me."

"No I wouldn't," Gil said. "I'd be so lost without you."

Gil had been very calm and patient through this nightmare, waiting on her to find herself again. Sex was something they both greatly enjoyed, but since the attack they hadn't indulged. She could see that he wanted her by the way he looked at her, but he kept her distance; giving her space.

"Sara Sidle," the receptionist called.

Gil stood and tugged Sara along with him. "Come on," he said. "I'll be in there with you."

They walked towards the front and a friendly looking man extended his hand to her. Even though he wore a pleasant smile, something about him made Sara feel uncomfortable. He was a handsome man, with dark hair and pleasant eyes. In his hand he had a clipboard, he turned over a sheet of paper, read for a little bit, and then smiled at her.

"Sara," he said, in a voice that made Sara nervous. "I'm Dr. Clay."

O=O

"Everything you say in this room is confidential, Sara," Dr. Clay said.

Sara and Gil were sitting in to comfortable armchairs. Dr. Clay had offered them coffee, but they both declined.

Sara took a deep breath. "Since the attack," she said. "I've been feeling lost. I feel like my safety has been violated and no one can fix it. I don't feel safe anywhere."

Dr. Clay nodded. "Anybody who has had their lives threatened like that often feels that way," he said, and then he added. "It's important for you to know that you escaped it."

Sara chewed her lip and looked over at Gil. He offered her a helpful smile, took her hand, and nodded for her to continue. It was a comfort to have the love of her life there for her. Ready endure whatever was necessary.

"Tell me what this man means to you," Dr. Clay said, motioning towards Gil.

"He means the world to me," Sara said truthfully. "But sometimes I push him away and I know I shouldn't."

For a moment everything was silent, except for the loud ticking of the clock. Sara had always wanted to say that to Gil, but she never could. She knew he was hurt whenever she lashed out at him or turned herself away, but she couldn't help it.

"Do you know why you shut him out?" Dr. Clay asked.

Sara felt a tear escape the barrier that she was trying so hard to keep up. "Because I never had anybody like him," she admitted. "My father was never there for me and when he was, he was doing terrible things."

She had more to add, but she couldn't force the words out. There, in that room with Gil and Dr. Clay, Sara cried. She cried for her loss of innocence and safety.

"It's OK to cry about it," Dr. Clay said, handing Gil a box of tissues. "Leaving all of your anguish inside isn't healthy."

Sara agreed. "I don't trust anybody," she said.

Dr. Clay pointed his pen at Gil. "You can trust Gil," he said.

"I know I can," Sara said. "But he wasn't there."

Sara's own words hurt her and she looked at Gil, hoping that she hadn't hurt him too. She didn't mean it like it sound; the words just came out like that.

"He's sitting here now," Dr. Clay said. "Turn to him and imagine that night. Tell him every thought and feeling you had."

This was something that Sara had not been expecting. It was hard for her to put the fears of that night into words. The way Gil was holding her hand gave her the strength to try.

"Close your eyes if it helps," Dr. Clay suggested.

Sara closed her eyes and imagined the desert. "When I came home I didn't expect to be awakened by a man in a mask, I thought I would be awakened by you," she told Gil. "When he surprised me, I was confused. I didn't know what had happened."

She opened her eyes and looked at Gil. He deep, blue eyes always mirrored the very same feelings she had for him; love and respect.

"I am so sorry I wasn't there," Gil said.

Sara forced herself to continue. "I regret not telling you about being followed. I thought he was going to kill me right there," she took a tissue and whipped her nose. "I didn't know why no one noticed me being escorted out of my apartment with a gun to my back. When he took me to the desert, I thought that I wouldn't be able to tell you that I loved you again."

The look on Sara's face, her trembling lips and glistening eyes, broke Gil's heart. He wanted to put his arms around her, hold her, and tell her that he was always going to be there for her. She was everything that he needed in life and more.

"After I escaped I was afraid that he would find me. I let myself feel glad that I beat him. You were the first person I wanted to run to," Sara finished.

"I'm always going to be here for you," Gil said, giving her a small kiss.

Dr. Clay set down his clipboard. "That is enough for today," he said.