If You're Lucky Enough Chapter 7
Disclaimer: Not mine. All the genius is Andrew Marlowe's.
Author's Note: Sorry this is on the short side. I didn't want their whole conversation to be smushed into one chapter.
"Don't be sorry, Kate." Martha responded. "Just don't be stupid."
A soft knock at the door broke the sweet, silent moment between father and daughter. Alexis smiled, knowingly.
"Come in, Kate!" She said excitedly. Castle's smile grew. Even if he hadn't wanted to see Kate as desperately as he did, he didn't have the voice to stop his eager little girl.
Kate timidly pushed the door open and peeked her head through the crack, still unsure if she was entirely welcome.
"Castle." She said softly.
"Beckett." He responded with the same gentle formality.
Awkward silence permeated the group.
"I think I'm going to get a snack…" Alexis said as she discretely backed out the door, leaving the partners alone.
Kate and Rick stared at one another, taking in the realization that they were both alive and breathing and okay.
"How are you feeling?" Kate broke the silence.
"Fantastic, actually." He replied. "It took three years, but I finally have the battle scars to prove I'm one of you…" He trailed off. He'd been trying to make a joke, take his mind off the pain and take Kate's off the fact that he'd almost died, but it wasn't funny. Not today. He sighed and cursed himself for the pained look in her eyes. "I'm okay." He tried again soberly. "I'm in a lot of pain, but the doctor said I should make a full recovery."
Kate felt a small smile at hearing him say he was going to be okay.
"I really wish you didn't have to see me like this though," he continued, "I must look like hell." Kate would've teased him for his vanity, but the sincerity in his voice spoke volumes. She knew that tone. The "please dear god, don't look at me when I'm vulnerable" tone. There really wasn't anything she could say to make it go away.
"I'd say you'll be okay, but I don't think that's what you want to hear right now." She practically whispered.
"You'd be surprised." He said with a bittersweet smile.
"Castle, I'm – "
"Kate, can you come sit with me?" Castle asked. Kate's immediate flight response was to say 'hell no', but somehow it didn't feel like the right response anymore. He wasn't telling her, he wasn't making a come on, he just wanted to be with her.
"Of course."
Kate walked slowly across the room and Castle's smile brightened when she chose to sit next to him on the bed instead of pulling up the visitor's chair. Being close enough to hear him alive and breathing calmed Kate to the point where she didn't even flinch when Castle's fingers gently encased her own.
Tears prickled behind Castle's eyes. He didn't cry when he woke up in pain, he didn't cry when the doctor told him he'd been shot, he didn't cry when he saw the looks of joy and relief in his family's eyes. He cried now. Kate was alive. He hadn't watched her die. Montgomery hadn't killed her. She was there. She was breathing. She was okay with him holding her hand.
Kate felt the droplets hit their joined hands and it jolted her out of the comforting moment of simply sitting by his side.
"Castle?" She turned her head to look into his eyes. "Oh, Castle."
"Kate." His strangled sob did nothing to quell his feelings.
"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry, Castle" Kate frantically whispered. She'd never seen him like this. She honestly thought she never would. Even ten years down the line, she never thought he'd trust her enough to break down in front of her. "I'm sorry."
"Promise me you won't leave." He begged.
"Always." She answered. Castle turned his head into her shoulder and Kate squeezed his hand, affirming her presence until she felt his breathing slow as he fell asleep.
Castle awoke hours later in significantly less pain due to the morphine drip he'd been administered. As he blinked himself awake, he couldn't help but feel a twinge of disappointment at his surroundings. His dreams were wonderful and filled with Kate, and sunshine, and Alexis running on the beach with her younger siblings while Martha and Jim watched from the deck of his Hamptons get away. Reality left, well, much to be desired. The second thing he noticed as he came into consciousness was that his pillow was undoubtedly moving. Not very much, but every couple of seconds he could feel it slowly pulsing up and down, up and down. He tilted his head and realized he was snuggled up to Kate Beckett's chest, her soft breathing creating a calming rhythm against his cheek. He was certain she'd kill him when she woke, so he lay still, content to simply cherish the unforeseen moment.
Gently turning his eyes, Castle allowed himself to really look at his muse. He wasn't happy with what he saw. Earlier, he'd been too ecstatic to see her that he hadn't really taken the time to take in her appearance. She was covered in the grime from the cemetery, her eyes were sunken from lack of sleep, and her cheeks were flushed with the stain of recent crying. Her stomach rumbled and he wondered how long it had been since she'd eaten. He considered waking her, but before he could, he felt her twitch beneath him.
"Kate?" He asked quietly. He sat up a bit to give her space.
"No…no please not now…" Kate murmured.
"Kate?" He asked a little louder. She was clearly having a nightmare.
"Rick, no!" she whimpered. Her head was thrashing back and forth.
"Kate!" His loudest yell didn't really mean much at the moment, but he did it anyway. When it didn't work, he reached up and held her still, gently squeezing her shoulders until she came to. Her breathing returned to normal and he let his arms drop back down with a wince.
"Castle?" She asked softly.
"It was just a dream, Becks." He said. He didn't ask her what it was about. He had a pretty good inkling, but he needed her to bring it up.
"Didn't feel like it."
"I know."
They fell silent again. Kate still hadn't figured out how to tell him everything and Castle was too afraid to push her to do so.
"Are you hungry?" He asked. "Your stomach was making noises."
"Oh. Yeah, I guess." She said. "I don't think I've eaten since lunch yesterday."
That was what he'd assumed.
"Can I call for food? Hospital jello up to your standards, detective?" He smiled.
"Yeah. Sounds perfect." She replied.
Did you notice that the blue button is fancier now? It's a sign. You should click it.
