Long chapter this time...Becky...you are a dork. Just thought you should know.

Find Me

Cha 7: Cleaning cleanses the Soul

Envy woke up the next morning feeling very groggy, and he looked at the clock on the nightstand to see why, it was 6:30 am, he could hear Roy moving downstairs, getting ready for work, but Envy had no desire to see him off. So he stayed in the room and listened until the man left, feeling relieved that he hadn't come up.

He got off the bed and then opened the door and window to let in some air because the room was very stale. Then he grabbed the bed covers and curtains and went downstairs in search of the washing machine, he knew how to clean because he'd helped the nurses when he'd been in the hospital. He found a washer and dryer in a little enclave in the kitchen he put the curtains in first leaving the covers in a pile on the floor for later. Then he searched the closets for a bucket and sponge he found some soap by the sink, he made a bucket of soapy water he brought upstairs. Then set by the door, before he could clean everything he had to move the books. He rolled up his sleeves then set to work.

It took him several hours to clear the room of the hundreds of books, some of which really caught his attention and made him want to read them right then but he didn't. Instead he put them with the other books in the hall. He went back down stairs and put the curtains in the dryer and then put next load in. Then went back up stairs and grabbed a rag he used to dust off most of the surfaces. Then he grabbed the bucket and sponge and started scrubbing the floor vigorously. After finishing the floor he went back down stairs grabbed the curtains put the next load in the dryer then went upstairs to put the curtains back up. Then he put the books back only in a better organized pile against the walls, he went downstairs for the covers, he put them back on the bed.

After all that work he took a huge breath and plopped down on the clean floor looking around pleased, the room looked really good if he said so himself, he contemplated putting his clothes in the dresser but left them in the beg next to the bed he also left the stuffed cat in the bag before collapsing on the bed in exhaustion.

He was asleep before his head hit the pillow.

Roy walked into his house half expecting to see it trashed or in flames, something, but what he saw was his house, nothing was changed. He looked into the rooms like the living room and den and kitchen looking for the boy but he wasn't in any of the rooms. Roy checked the ice box to see if the left over food he'd put in there this morning was gone, but it wasn't it was still there. He frowned, had the boy left the room at all? Roy went upstairs and opened the door slowly to see the boy asleep curled into a tight ball, like most people did when they were sleeping scared.

Roy snorted, so the kid was afraid of him? That was good. He should be after the hell he'd unleashed on him in his first life.

Roy closed the door and went to his room to change, then he went downstairs and ate the leftovers, if the kid didn't want to eat what did he care?

Despite his attitude, Roy still left some food, he didn't want to find the moron dead in the morning. Then he went into the dinning room to do the paperwork he hadn't finished during the day, the stupid campaign was going to be the death of him.

Roy looked up several hours later to see a shadow pass in the hall to go into the kitchen, then he heard the ice box open. So the kid did have some self-preservation left. Pity.

A few minutes later there was some shuffling in the kitchen and then the shadow moved back at a quicker pace and disappeared up the stairs. Roy rolled his eyes then looked at his work and yawned, he looked at the clock and made a small noise of surprise, it was one AM, groaning he put his papers away and went up to bed.

And that's how it went for several weeks, Roy barely saw the boy and it was almost like he didn't even exist and Roy really had no problem with that, because whenever he did catch sight of him, the boy was looking at him and then he'd look away when he realized he'd been caught but not before Roy saw the fear in his dark eyes. And when that happened he felt guilty and he didn't like feeling guilt this fresh. He had guilt sure: Ishval; lots of guilt, Maes; even more guilt, but then he looked at Envy and the guilt got so bad it was almost painful. He hated that.

So when one evening Envy came into the dinning room, worrying his shirt in his fingers and not looking up Roy was half tempted to tell him to get out. But he didn't because Envy surprised him.

"Uh...um...I was...wondering...if ...if you'd be okay...with me cleaning the rest of your house?" Envy asked barely above a whisper. And Roy's eyebrows shot up he just stared before remembering the kid wanted an answer.

"Yeah, I don't care," he grunted, and then pretended to get back to work but watched from under his bangs as the kid ran away. He frowned when the guilt got stronger when he left. That didn't make any sense, he sighed and wished that none of this had happened.

Over the course of the next few days Roy saw his house getting progressively cleaner, first it was the den, all of the books were back on the shelves the dirty glasses were back in the kitchen, the floor was clean the mantel was dusted and the fireplace didn't have ashes anymore.

And then the living room, the couch and recliner were cleaner and didn't smell, Roy wondered how he'd managed that one, and then the radio was back on it's stand instead of the floor where Roy had left it after using the stand as a step stool to get to his stash of porn on the top of the book case which Envy had found and left in a corner, and Roy imagined the boy had blushed when he'd found it the man chuckled a little at the thought.

Then all of the empty food cartons from take out were taken off of every surface, the coffee table was again the color it had been when he first bought it. The lamp didn't have cobwebs in it any more and the ceiling was cleaned of them too, and then the den was dusted, Envy hadn't touch his paper work.

Then he'd moved to the kitchen where he'd scrubbed every surface and pot, pan, plate, bowl, cup and utensil he could find. By the end of the fifth week of having Envy living with him, his house was as clean as it had been when he'd first moved in.

Then after he'd cleaned everything he could find, outside of Roy's own room, Envy left a note on the table saying he'd gone to visit the Elrics in Risembool, and Roy frowned, that had been sudden. Not like he cared.

Envy got off the train after the three day ride and rubbed his butt, that had been painful. Then he looked around, it was very green. He smiled it was very nice here, almost calming. He went to the stationmaster and asked for directions to the Elric Automail shop, the man was pleased to give him the directions and then went and mentioned that Ed Elric was a national hero. Envy nodded and smiled before making his way there, looking at the scenery as he went, it was very scenic, green and homey feeling, he liked it.

Envy spotted the shop in the distance and quickened his steps and saw a sign in the front that said 'Elric Automail' and knew he was in the right place, he walked up the porch and knocked on the door, looking forward to seeing Ed or Winry's face, but he heard barking on the other side of the door, and an unfamiliar voice.

"Back Den, Back!" and the door opened to reveal a blond boy who looked like Ed only his hair was short and his face and eyes were softer, and Envy immediately knew that this was Alphonse, Ed's younger brother, and Ed was right. He was taller. Then Envy realized the boy was staring at him in shock and maybe a tinge of horror.

"Oh um excuse me...I'm looking for Ed...or Winry?" Envy asked with a slight bow, and the other male cleared his throat.

"And why would you like to see them?" he asked and Envy felt a little awkward to hear this boy who was supposed to be oh so very kind sound so cold.

"Um I...came to...to visit...they said I could...and I...I..." Envy glanced up at the boys face to also see it looking very cold and then Ed came to the door and saved the day.

"Who is it Al-?" and then he stopped and stared for a moment and then broke into a huge grin before pushing Al aside and gathering Envy into a back breaking hug.

"Envy! See you're not dead! I told you so!" Ed laughed while Envy gasped for breath and Al watched in disbelief as his brother embraced one of their old enemies.

"Not for long!" Envy gasped then Ed released him with a blush.

"Oops, sorry, I'm just happy to see you again, oh here, come in, come in!" Ed trilled happily grabbing Envy's suitcase and dragging him further into the house, Al slammed the door closed.

"Brother! What's going on?" He shouted and then Ed gasped and whipped around to stare at his brother narrowly missing Envy's head with the suitcase.

"Oh man I forgot to tell you! That's really weird! But it's so your fault, going off and proposing and stuff, now you're getting your ass married." Ed said and Al threw his hands in the air.

"Ed! How can you not tell me that Envy is still alive and now you're all buddy-buddy with him?" Al exclaimed and Ed shook his head.

"No, no, here one second, WINRY ENVY'S HERE! COME TAKE CARE OF HIM WHILE I TALK TO AL!" Ed shouted and Envy had to clap his hands over his ears since Ed was right next to him.

"WHAT ARE YOU YELLING AT ME?" Winry shouted back then walked through a nearby door and saw their guest.

"Envy! You came to visit! Oh Nicholas and Trisha will be so happy! They've been whining for you, you know, I think Trisha's first real sentence was 'Mommy where Kitty?'" Winry started giggling then she hugged him.

"How've you been?" she asked and Envy just shrugged smiling, but Winry must have seen something because the corners of her mouth went down. She took his hand and told Ed to take Envy's stuff up to a spare room while she yanked him into the kitchen. Envy saw Ed drag his brother up the stairs while the other male sent him glances.

Winry forced him into a chair then set a glass of iced tea in front of him, Envy sipped the tea before the taste registered and he had to stop himself from drinking it all in one gulp, Winry was a really good cook, he could tell.

"So how're things going?" Winry asked and Envy shrugged and took another drink before speaking.

"I'm a little bored really, I don't have any thing to do..." Envy muttered and then Ed and Al walked into the room, Al was looking at him like he wasn't sure if he believed his brother yet and would judge for himself.

"Sooo how's Roy?" Ed asked with a grin and Envy looked down and missed the frown Ed gave him.

"That bad huh?" he asked more seriously, and Envy nodded sadly he bit his lip, he really didn't want to talk about it, but he knew the others wanted to know, luckily a small blond blur ran into the room and took a flying leap at him.

"KITTY!" the little boy cheered but he was caught mid air by his uncle even though Envy had his arms out to catch him.

"Aaw! Unc'e Al!" the little boy cried in disappointment, but Al was glaring at Envy who put his arms down a little heart broken, he would have loved a hug from the little boy right then, instead there was a tug on his pant leg.

"Kitty..." Envy smiled down at the little girl then leaned over to pick her up. She put her hand on his cheek and he took it and put his finger in it she smiled at him.

"Hey sweetie," he said and she started bubbling at him, he only heard a few words like 'Kitty' and 'Mommy' and 'Daddy' and 'Nicky' which Envy assumed was Nicholas, he pat her head with a smile while Ed and Winry went over to the oven and started talking about food.

"Unc'e Al! I wanna see Kitty!" Nicholas whined and Al looked down at the little boy, he'd been staring at Envy waiting for Ed to freak out that he had Trisha, or for the male to hurt her but he hadn't. He set Nicholas down who climbed up onto Envy's lap who moved Trisha to make room.

"Hi Kitty!" he said and Envy smiled at him.

"Hey Nicholas, how're you? Are you taking care of your sister?" he asked as he squeezed Trisha who giggled, Nicholas nodded and started blabbing away.

"You really are different," Al said and Envy looked up at the man who was gazing at him in disbelief, Envy nodded a little unsure.

"Trisha doesn't take to anyone like that, you really must be different," Al said and Envy looked down at the little girl who smiled at him. Then at the little boy who beamed, he smiled back and pat the boy on the head and squeezed the little girl.

"I'm not really sure how I was before, but my face seems to make people scared or angry so I can understand if you don't like me," Envy said quietly, obviously thinking of Roy, Al frowned and sat next to him.

"So I hear you're living with the Major-General, how is that?" Al asked and Envy picked up on the fact that he knew the two of them had a history.

"Um...define living...?" Envy asked trying to joke but Ed heard and was over in less time than it took for the boy to blink.

"He didn't kick you out did he?" he asked with a hard tone, and Envy figured Roy would be in big trouble if that were true.

"N-no no! He didn't he just...doesn't talk to me...or look at me or acknowledge the fact that I'm alive," Envy said trying to sound flippant but it came out almost bitter and Ed's eyes narrowed.

"Why that bastard, and here I thought it was a brilliant idea and everything," Ed grunted then crossed his arms and glared at the wall.

"Have you tried talking to him?" Ed asked and Envy shrugged giving a finger to Nicholas so he'd stop poking his sister.

"Um...yes?" Envy said hesitantly, and Ed let an eyebrow quirk and Envy blushed, "well I uh asked him if I could clean his house and he said he didn't care...does that count as talking?" he asked and Ed blinked.

"You cleaned his house?" Ed asked sounding a bit incredulous and amused at the same time.

"W-what? I was bored, and have you seen his house? It was a pigsty!" Envy squawked and Ed laughed.

"I have a feeling that was your more feminine side taking over." he said with a grin and Envy's face went pink.

"Maybe..." he muttered and Ed laughed then pat his shoulder, Winry came over and filled his glass with more tea.

"I know how you feel, it's weird ever since I married this slob I can't do anything if the house is dirty," Winry said with a nod and Envy smiled taking another sip of the tea.

"Yeah?" he asked and she nodded again then pat his head before going back to the stove Envy looked at Al who had his head cocked to the side.

"What?" he asked confused and completely oblivious and Envy went even redder than before.

"Uh..Um..." he mumbled and Ed pat his back then looked at his brother with a grin and then squeezed Envy's shoulder.

"Envy's special Al, he's like...how he used to be I guess, androgynous, quite literally!" Ed laughed and Envy frowned, that was one way of putting it.

"Huh?" Al said and Ed groaned then shook his head.

"Oh never mind," Ed waved a hand at his brother then grabbed a chair and sat in it facing the boy, "So Envy I was thinking, maybe you should learn to cook and then he'll not be an ass, you know what they say food is the way to a man's heart and we're trying to get forgiveness in him, it might work," Ed said nodding seriously and Al sighed.

"Envy, I think you should just be around him more, don't push him into anything, just let him get used to you, and being around during meals is good, and cooking should just give you something to do it shouldn't be used as a technique to get you on his good side," Al said with a roll of his eyes at his brother. Who pouted and stuck his tongue out at him in return.

"Yeah...um I guess so..." he said then Winry took the kids off of his lap handed one to each brother then dragged him to the stove and started teaching him how to make stew.

Envy was with the Elrics for a little more than a week, he learned a new dish every day, and felt a bit more confident to go back. He spent most of the time there with the kids because they wouldn't leave him alone, but Al came up to him at one point to really convince himself that Envy wasn't a murderous bastard and Envy even told him his secret, he was pretty sure that was what convinced the younger brother of his change in heart.

It was the last day Envy was going to be there and he was sitting on a hill with his knees to his chest and arms were wrapped around his legs somebody sat down next to him and he glanced over to see Ed who didn't say anything at first and just watched as the sun went down.

"You seem a little down, not as much when you first got here, but you're still down," Ed told him, and Envy shrugged.

"A-are you sure I'm supposed to mean forgiveness for him or whatever? He doesn't seem like he wants to..." Envy said quietly and Ed sighed then fell back on the grass.

"No I'm not sure, but I still think he needs to learn how to forgive and you just seem the type of person hard to grudge against. So I thought maybe you could help, I'm sorry it's not working out. I'm sure it hurts," he said and Envy turned to see Ed looking at him meaningfully. And Envy went a beautiful shade of crimson.

"Is it that obvious?" he asked a little horrified at the thought and Ed shook his head.

"Not really, I had to really think about it in order to figure it out." Ed shrugged and Envy didn't know whether that was a good or bad thing.

"And the fact that he's the only person you remember might have something to do with it," Ed shrugged and put his hands behind his head.

"Yeah well he doesn't seem to like anything to do with me, he goes to work he comes home and he works some more, that's how it is," Envy said and Ed frowned.

"Well then I suggest that when he comes home, you have some food for him or something, it'll show a bit of compassion, and to be sneaky don't say anything, be reading or something in another room so as not to pressure him, kay?" Ed said then he winked, Envy went pink again and groaned but nodded.

"Okay I'll try..." he whispered and Ed sat up and pat his back then he rubbed Envy's head.

"Hey it'll work out, I promise," Ed said and Envy nodded staring at the blond through his messed up hair. He nodded and followed the man back into the house to help with dinner.