Two chubby ladies, both blue rinsed hair, aged late sixties, share a taxi home after a dismal evening's bingo. Mrs McGaw and Nobby's mum share the fare. Nobby lays in bed as mum opens the front door, phone rings. Birgit firmly suggests Nobby's mum come over for a cuppa. As Nobby's mother opens neighbour's front gate another taxi arrives; Birgit's mother is early.
A fresh pot of tea and cream biscuits await Birgit's guests. Three women sit in the dining room, annexed to the lounge room where two children play in scattered, limitless toys. The dining room bright, curtains more appropriate for winter. Children's numerous photographs clutter the walls and revarnished buffet top. A solitary wedding photo half hides behind an envelope containing the electricity account overdue.
First discussion; the weather, then bingo. Eventually Birgit swings the conversation to Nobby.
'He was giving himself an enema in the backyard, with the garden hose.'
Nobby's mother only one number off bingo three times, now comes home to this.
'I can only describe what I witnessed.'
'Why would he need an enema?' asks Nobby's mum gazing into empty cup.
Birgit's mother says to daughter 'You better boil the kettle again.'
Birgit goes to the sink suggesting 'He must have felt unclean.'
'Maybe he has diarrhoea?' Suggests Birgit's mum.
'Guilt.' replies Birgit.
'Guilt?' begs Nobby's mother.
'Psychological guilt?' asks Birgit's mother.
'A visit to a psychiatrist would help.' continues Birgit. 'Unless of course it was a physical thing.'
'What sort of physical thing?' asks Nobby's mum.
'A carrot.'
'You shouldn't suggest any such thing Birgit.' Interjects the accusers mother.
Birgit turns on mother 'Well why was he threatening to murder his own penis? Tell me that. Because he found a. ... A substitute of some kind.'
'He threatened his penis? When?' demands Birgit's mother.
'Before the enema. He was screaming at it, hitting it with the hose nozzle. "I'm going to kill ya." He kept screaming over and over. Then he ... He inserted the hose nozzle into his anus. Stood there! In your back yard with the hose up his arse. Groans, groan his lungs out.'
Nobby's mother weeps. Birgit's mother goes to her.
'God be my witness.' continues Birgit. 'O'Possum denies hear...'
'That's enough Birgit.' commands the complainant's mother, a comforting arm around Nobby's mother's shoulders. 'Make the tea.'
'O'Possum!' responds Nobby's mother wiping her eyes. 'O'Possum was here when it happened?'
'Well!' replies Birgit from the sink. 'Not exactly here. He'd disappeared. Strangest thing! So did four chops. ...'
'Chops?'
'Four raw chops. Only half thawed. God knows what he did with them. I went to your fence, looking for O'Possum and the chops. When I came back inside, O'Possum was here. Wouldn't say where he'd been.'
'I'll go now.' Nobby's mother leaves the table.
Birgit turns to Nobby's mum. 'Take him to psychiatrist before he gets worse. I don't want my children exposed to ... To whatever sickness he's got.'
Nobby laying in bed can explain the bathroom damage. The laundry? Nothing! Nothing half believable. So he covered the hole, sticky taped a magazine page over it. Mum never throws out magazines and has a mountainous collection. She enjoys Rock Hudson movies, "Pillow Talk" her favourite, saw it at the pictures when it first came out. She told Nobby so as they watched it together on television. Nobby doesn't read very well and didn't bother with the article positioned next to the full page, smiling, debonair Hudson. The headline went "GAYS JILT CONDOMS FOR WITHDRAWAL METHOD".
'I'm in bed.' responds Nobby when mum calls.
'What's wrong? Are you sick?' mum asks entering son's bedroom.
'Got a headache mum. Had an accident, having a shower. Slipped and banged me head against the wall. Broke the fibro. I'll be better tomorrow. O'Possum said he'll give me a hand fixing it.'
'O'Possum said that?'
'Sure did! Didn't even have to ask him.'
'Really! Did you take onme or two aspirin?'
'No! I didn't.'
'I better get you two.'
On the way to the kitchen she surveys the bathroom, concluding 'O'Possum surprised Nobby having a shower. Nobby struggled but. But! Couldn't fight off .. the sodomiser.'
Mum takes aspirin to son. 'There you are Nobby. I saw the damage. The old bath is dangerous. I'll get a price on a new, safer one. You rest. Try and get a little sleep.'
Nobby's mum walks through the laundry and out back to investigate. A pair of eyes, Stupid's eyes watch from deep under the house, tied to a brick pillar. Sodden area surveyed, back through the laundry, calf itches, impulsive scratching makes her stop. Eyes meet fallen idol smiling. No! Sneering at her. 'Oh my God!'
Itch forgotten, inspect refrigerator vegetable compartment, all carrots appear accountable. She counts carrots, writes "4 C" on the calendar, then inspects the tidy bin, no peelings. That filthy, filthy article in magazine mistakenly purchased and wary of ever buying again. Explicit debauchery, "FRUIT'S OF LOVE". Sickening! Why didn't she throw the magazine in the rubbish where it belonged? Certainly no decent recipes.
O'Possum reverberates in her thoughts as she searches through the wheelie bin. No carrots, peelings or chops. No clues here. Nobby's mum finds herself knocking on Birgit's door. Birgit answers, offering another cuppa.
'No thank you tell me. Where was O'Possum when Nobby? ... When my son was ? ...'
'Giving himself an enema?' answers Birgit, stepping outside and pulling the front door nearly closed.
'Where was O'Possum?'
'I don't know. He disappeared! Told you already, felt he was with Nobby.'
'What made you think that?'
'Where else could he be? Came inside and there is O'Possum, back inside the house. I don't know. I was calling him when I saw Nobby.'
'Tell your husband. Never! Never set foot in my house or yard ever again. I'll have him arrested. That's if I don't deal with him myself. If he's used frozen chops to rape my son? God be my witness. Tell him Birgit. And don't worry about my son needing a psychiatrist. Get your husband to one. How you put up with him? Him and his sodomising penis. Get rid of him. For your kids sake.'
Elated! Birgit closes her front door.
'Who was at the door dear?' asks mum.
'Nobby's mum. Thanked me for telling her what happened. Poor old dear! Apologised on her dopey son's behalf. What can you say?'
Mum gently knocks before asking. 'Nobby! Are you still awake?'
'Yeah mum. I'm feeling a bit better. I might get up and watch telly with ya.'
'No son. Rest is best for a head injury. I want to ask you something.'
'Ahhh! What mum?'
'Was O'Possum in this house today.'
'Umm. Yes. He saw the broken fibro. Said he'd help fix it.'
'Was he acting queer or anything?'
'You know what he's like. No different.'
'Did he have frozen chops with him?'
Nobby rubs his forehead. 'The aspirin must be wearing off. Can you get me more?'
This time, two lots, she swallows asprin in the kitchen before attending Nobby. It's time to lie down.
Changed into nightieand asking herself, 'What is happening to this world?' Bed clothes pulled back, she eases between comforting sheets.
Eyes closed, she recalls two ladies, regulars at her bingo table. Both have homosexual sons. One wears women's clothing and came to bingo with mum. God perish the thought. Why do so many men want to be women? Eyes grow heavy with exhaustion until suddenly awakening with a start. She dreamt discovering Nobby and O'Possum together in bed. Surrounded by fruit and veges. Wicked, shameless, insatiable lovers! She shivers.
