So.. sorry for the cliffhanger last chapter? I wanted to see how people would respond and it was setting up this chapter. It was pretty funny to see how freaked out some of you were.

I'm evil.

Anyway, here's a nice long chapter to make up for the last one! Enjoy!


Dying is a lot louder than you might expect.

Movies always portray death as the blast of a gun, screams, and blaring sirens. But everyone knows that most death is quietly slipping away in your sleep, an unseen heart failure, the peaceful silence of old age.

There is never silence in a hospital. Even at night, the beep of machines can be heard up and down the halls. The hushed voices of family slip under doors and around corners. There is always one doctor or another coming in to jot down notes, the scratch of a pen gouging holes in the dark quiet.

I would much prefer to die silently. It would be a welcome reprieve from the rattle of my own tortured breath. What a gift it would be, to slip quietly from one life to whatever lies beyond. The fading pain, the sudden peace would be a reward in itself.

Instead, when my eyes open, I am assaulted with so much noise and pain that I have to close them. My chest burns. There is an ache in my hips and stomach that is, in a way, the worst pain I have ever felt. Carefully, I open my eyes again. The first thing I notice is the four IVs stabbed into my right arm and the three in my left. There is a dried dribble of blood on the back of my right hand. I try to lift my arms, but it feel like there is lead in my veins. Abrasive voices all around snap orders, and the squeak of rubber sneakers against the tile floors makes me flinch.

My parents are nowhere to be found in the crowd of pastel scrubs and neat white coats.

"Mom? Dad?"

A nurse crouches beside me, auburn hair tied in a bun. "Hazel, it'll be okay. You're going into surgery soon." Like lightning, she replaces one of my IV bags with a clear fluid that makes my head fuzzy almost immediately.


The next time I wake up, the beeping of machines is more subdued, and the voices are quieter. There's a substantial lack of IVs, although there's a tube in my side draining my lungs.

"Oh God, she's awake!"

My parents both stand from their chairs next to my bed so quickly that I jerk back into my pillows in alarm.

"What happened?" It hurts to talk.

Mom suddenly becomes absorbed in pouring a glass of water for me and wiping drops of condensation off the pitcher, while Dad begins adjusting my blankets. "It's my life. You have to tell me."

Still, they're silent.

"You collapsed." My head snaps towards the doorway, where Isaac leans on his cane, trademark smirk plastered across his face. "Scared the life out of us."

Dad is blinking hard, staring at his hands. "Maybe Isaac should explain," he manages to choke out.

"What the hell is going on?" My hands shake so hard that I have to put my water on the bedside table.

Mom stands, looking so miserable that I want to scoop her into my arms and hold her. "Isaac can explain. We'll wait outside." She crosses to Isaac and helps him to her vacated chair, then takes Dad's elbow and pulls him out of the room.

As soon as the door is firmly shut behind them, I fold my arms and glare in Isaac's direction. "You better give me a good answer."

"Would I lie to you, Hazel?"

"Then tell me!" I snap. "I've been in this hospital for God knows how long and no one has told me anything!"

"Five weeks."

"What?"

"You've been here for five weeks."

"And?" My voice is thin.

"No one really knows what happened. You've been on life support for most of the time." He fiddles with the wrist strap on his cane.

"You promised you would give me a good answer. What happened?" I would slap him if I could move more than a few inches in any direction.

"I told you. You collapsed one night. You didn't cry out or anything, so your parents didn't know until morning. Your liver had shut down. The only reason you stayed alive was your BiPAP. It kept your lungs from accumulating too much fluid."

I absorb this, smoothing the blankets around my body. My hand skims across my stomach, and I freeze. When I speak, my voice is deadly quiet. "Isaac, why don't I have a baby bump anymore?"

He doesn't answer, and I lose it. "He's gone, isn't he? He died because I'm fucking stupid and I thought I could handle it and now he's gone and it is ALL MY FUCKING FAULT."

"Hazel-"

"Why couldn't they just tell me? I'm their daughter! How could I be so stupid, Isaac? Why did I think I could do this?" My tears fall hot and fast and I bury my face in my hands.

"Hazel. I didn't finish. He's not dead."

My heart soars, and I almost scream with the relief. "He's okay, then?"

Isaac's getting irritated, I can tell. "Would you let me finish?"

I nod before I realize he can't see me. "Yes. Please. Sorry."

"Your parents got you to the hospital as fast as possible, but it didn't look good. Your parents showed them the contract you signed with the doctors." The contract had been Dad's idea. We had signed it when I was six months pregnant, legally stating that the baby was a priority and that in the event of an emergency, the doctors would do everything in their power to save him first.

"And then?"

"So they performed an emergency C-section," Isaac continues. "It didn't look good for either of you. Your dad said-" His voice breaks. "Your dad said that the baby was so small that he looked like the tiny doll you used to carry around."

I'm trying not to start bawling again, biting my tongue to keep from interrupting him.

"So they got him shipped off to the premature unit. You were barely seven months along when it happened. And the doctors started working on you. You were falling apart. No one expected you to live longer than a few days."

"I was conscious a couple times," I recall suddenly.

Isaac nods. "Right after they did the C-section, before surgery on your liver and heart."

"But that was right after I got here. It's been five weeks. What else happened?"

"A work of God or nature, I don't know. We thought you were going to die. Your entire family showed up to say goodbye. And then your liver just… started working again. The doctors said that hardly ever happens. So they tried taking you off life support and your heart malfunctioned. You needed three surgeries for that."

"So they just ended up keeping me on life support? God.. that must have cost a fortune."

Isaac sighs. "Do you want to know why they made me tell you this?"

"Why?"

"Today was the day they were going to take you off the life support. They were in here saying their last goodbyes when you woke up."

I almost stop breathing. "They were?"

"Hazel, you can't hold it against them. No one thought you would make it."

"They were going to kill me."

"They were going to end your suffering, Hazel. They felt so guilty."

I'm about to ask another question, but the opening of the door stops me. Three nurses march in, followed by my parents. "Hazel, we have to get you down to the premature unit."

"What? Why?" In my heart, I know exactly why.

The answer comes and slaps me squarely in the face.

"He's not doing well."


Please review to let me know what you think! I spent such a long time on this chapter, I'd love to get some feedback. DFTBA!